Poins.
Poi.
Come, shelter, shelter; I have remov'd Falstaff's
horse, and he frets like a gum'd velvet.
Pri.
Stand close.
[putting himself before him.
Enter Falstaff.
Fal.
Poins! Poins, and be hang'd! Poins!
Pri.
Peace, ye fat-kidney'd rascal; What a brawling note
dost thou keep?
Fal.
Where's Poins note, Hal?
Pri.
He is walk'd up to the top of the hill; I'll go
seek him.
[feigning to go.
-- 27 --
Fal.
I am accurst to rob in that thief's company:
the rascal hath removed my horse, and ty'd him I know
not where: If I travel but four foot by the square note further
afoot, I shall break my wind. Well note I doubt not
but to die a fair death for all this, if I 'scape hanging
for killing that rogue. I have forsworn his company
hourly any time this two and twenty year note, and yet I am
bewitch'd with the rogue's company. If the rascal have
not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be
hang'd; it could not be else; I have drunk medicines.—
Poins!—Hal!—a plague upon you both!—Bardolph! note—
Peto!—I'll starve, ere I'll rob note a foot further. An 'twere
not as good a deed as drink note, to turn true man, and to
leave these note rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever
chew'd with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground, is
threescore and ten miles afoot with me; and the stony-hearted
villains know it well enough: A plague upon't,
when thieves cannot be true one to another! [Whistle.]
Whew!—A plague light note upon you all! Give me note my
horse, you rogues; give me my horse, and be hang'd.
Pri.
Peace, ye fat-guts! lie down; lay thine ear
close to the ground, and list if thou canst note hear the
tread of travellers.
Fal.
Have you any leavers to lift me up again, being
down? 'Sblood note, I'll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot
again, for all the coin in thy father's exchequer.
What a plague mean ye, to colt me thus?
Pri.
Thou ly'st, thou art not colted, thou art uncolted.
Fal.
I pr'ythee, good prince Hal, help me to my
horse; good king's son.
Pri.
Out, you note rogue! shall I be your ostler?
Fal.
Go, note hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent
-- 28 --
garters! If I be ta'en, I'll peach for this. An I have not
ballads made on you note all, and sung to filthy tunes, let a
cup of sack be my poison: when a jest note is so forward,
and afoot too,—I hate it.
Enter Gads-hill; Bardolph, and Peto, with him.
Gad.
Stand.
Fal.
So I do, against my will.
Poi.
O, 'tis our setter;14Q0618 I know his voice.—Bardolph,
what news?
[coming forward, with the Prince.
Bar.
Case ye, case ye; on with your vizards; there's
money of the king's coming down the hill, 'tis going
to the king's exchequer.
Fal.
You lie, you rogue; 'tis going to the king's tavern.
Gad.
There's enough to make us all.
Fal.
To be hang'd.
Pri.
Sirs, note you four shall front them in the narrow
lane; Ned Poins note, and I, will walk lower: if they 'scape
from your encounter, then they light on us.
Pet.
How note many be there of them. note note
Gad.
Some eight, or ten.
Fal.
'Zounds note, will they not rob us?
Pri.
What, a coward, sir John Paunch?
Fal.
Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your note grandfather;
but yet no coward, Hal.
Pri.
Well note, we leave that to the proof.
Poi.
Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge;
when thou need'st him, there thou shalt note find him: Farewel,
and stand fast.
Fal.
Now cannot I strike him, if I should be hang'd.
Pri.
Ned, where are our disguises?
Poi.
Here, hard by; stand close.
[retiring, to put them on.
-- 29 --
Fal.
Now, my masters, happy man be his dole, say
I note; every man to his business.
Enter Travellers.
1. T.
Come, neighbour,
The boy shall lead our horses down the hill;
We'll walk afoot a while, and ease our legs.
Thi.
Stand note.
Tra.
Jesu note bless us!
Fal.
Strike; down with them, cut
The villains' throats:—
Ah, whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves!
They hate us youth: down with them, fleece them.
1. T.
O,
We are undone, both we and ours, for ever.
Fal.
Hang ye, gorbelly'd knaves; Are ye note undone?
No, ye fat chuffs; I would, your store were here!
On, bacons, on;—What, ye knaves!—on, I say;
Young men must live: You are grand-jurors, are ye note?
We'll jure ye, i'faith.
[Exeunt, driving them out.
Pri.
The thieves have bound the true men: [looking
out.] Now could thou and I rob the thieves, and go
merrily to London, it would be argument for a week,
laughter for a month, and a good jest for ever.
Poi.
Stand close, I hear them coming.
[retire again.
Enter the Thieves again.
Fal.
Come, my masters, let us share, [throwing down
the Booty.] and then to horse before day.
They all sit round about it.
An the prince and Poins be not two arrant cowards,
there's no equity stirring: there's no more note valour in that
Poins, than in a wild-duck.
Pri.
Your money.
[rushing out upon them.
-- 30 --
Poi.
Villains!
Falstaff, and the rest, scramble up: he makes
a Blow, or two, and they run; leaving their
Booty behind them.
Pri.
Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse:
The thieves are scatter'd note, and possess'd with fear
So strongly, that they dare not meet each other;
Each takes note his fellow for an officer.
Away, good Ned. Fat Falstaff sweats note to death,
And lards the lean earth as he walks along:
Wer't not for laughing, I should pity him.
Poi.
How the rogue roar'd!
[Exeunt.
Edward Capell [1767], Mr William Shakespeare his comedies, histories, and tragedies, set out by himself in quarto, or by the Players his Fellows in folio, and now faithfully republish'd from those Editions in ten Volumes octavo; with an introduction: Whereunto will be added, in some other Volumes, notes, critical and explanatory, and a Body of Various Readings entire (Printed by Dryden Leach, for J. and R. Tonson [etc.], London) [word count] [S10601].
