SCENE II.
A Hall in Petruchio's Country-House.
Enter Grumio, halting.
Gru.
Fie, fie, on all tir'd jades! on all mad masters!
and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? was ever
man so 'wray'd? was ever man so weary? I am sent before
to make a fire, and they are coming after to warm
them. Now, were not I a little pot, and soon hot, my
very lips might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the
roof of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I should
come by a fire to thaw me:—But I, with blowing the fire,
shall warm myself; for, considering the weather, a taller
man than I will take cold. Hola, ho! Curtis!
Enter Curtis.
Cur.
Who is that, calls so coldly?
Gru.
A piece of ice: If thou doubt it, thou may'st
slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a run
but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
-- 58 --
Cur.
Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
Gru.
O, ay, Curtis, ay: and therefore, fire, fire; cast
on no water.
Cur.
Is she so hot a shrew as she's reported?
Gru.
She was, good Curtis, before this frost: but,
thou know'st, winter tames man, woman, and beast; for
it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistress,—and
thyself note, fellow Curtis.14Q0358
Cur.
Away, you three-inch fool! I am no beast.
Gru.
Am I but three inches? why, thy horn is a foot;
and so long am I, at the least. But wilt thou make a fire,
or shall I complain on thee to our mistress? whose hand
(she being now at hand) thou shalt soon feel, to thy cold
comfort, for being slow in thy hot office.
Cur.
I prythee, note good Grumio, tell me, How goes the
world?
Gru.
A cold world, Curtis, in every office but thine;
and therefore, fire: Do thy duty, and have thy duty; for
my master and mistress are almost frozen to death.
Cur.
There's fire ready; And therefore, good Grumio,
the news?
Gru.
Why, Jack, boy! ho, boy! and as much news as thou wilt note.
Cur.
Come, you are so full of coney-catching:—
Gru.
Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extream
cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the house trim'd,
rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept; the servingmen in their
new fustian, their white note stockings, and every officer his
wedding-garment on? be the jacks fair within, the jills
fair without, the carpets lay'd, and every thing in order?
Cur.
All ready; And therefore, I pray thee, news note?
Gru.
First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
-- 59 --
mistress fall'n out.
Cur.
How?
Gru.
Out of their saddles into the dirt; And thereby
hangs a tale.
Cur.
Let's ha't, good Grumio.
Gru.
Lend thine ear.
Cur.
Here.
Gru.
There.
[cuffing him.
Cur.
This is note to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru.
And therefore 'tis call'd—a sensible tale: and
this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech list'ning.
Now I begin:—Inprimis, we came down a foul hill,
my master riding behind my mistress:—
Cur.
Both on one note horse?
Gru.
What's that to thee?
Cur.
Why, a horse.
Gru.
Tell thou the tale: But, hadst thou not cross'd
me, thou shouldst have heard, how her horse fell, and
she under her horse; thou shouldst have heard, in how
miry a place: how she was bemoil'd; how he left her
with the horse upon her; how he beat me because her
horse stumbl'd; how she waded through the dirt to pluck
him off me; how he swore; how she pray'd,—that never
pray'd before: how I cry'd; how the horses ran away;
how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper;—with
many things of worthy memory; which now shall die
in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc'd to thy grave note.
Cur.
By this reck'ning, he is note more shrew than she.
Gru.
Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all
shall find, when he comes home. But what talk I of
this?—call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip, Walter,
Sugar-sop, and the rest: let their heads be slickly
-- 60 --
comb'd, their blue coats brush'd, and their garters of an
indifferent knot note: let them curt'sy with their left legs;
and not presume to touch a hair of my master's horsetail,
'till they kiss their hands. Are they all ready?
Cur.
They are.
Gru.
Call them forth.
Cur.
Do you hear, ho! [calling.] you must meet my
master, to countenance my mistress.
Gru.
Why, she hath a face of her own.
Cur.
Who knows not that?
Gru.
Thou, it seems; that call'st note for company to
countenance her.
Cur.
I call them forth to credit her.
Gru.
Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
Enter several Servants.
1. S.
Welcome home, Grumio.
2. S.
How now, Grumio?
3. S.
What, Grumio!
4. S.
Fellow Grumio!
1. S.
How now, old lad?
Gru.
Welcome, you;—how now, you;—what, you;
—fellow, you;—and thus much for greeting. Now, my
spruce companions, is all ready, and all things neat?
1. S.
All things are ready note: How near is our master?
Gru.
E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore
be not,—Cock's passion, silence; I hear my master.
Enter Petruchio, and Catherine.
Pet.
Where be these knaves?14Q0359 What, no man at the door,
To hold my stirrop, nor to take my horse!
Where is Nathaniel, Gregory, Philip?—
Ser.
Here, here, sir;
Here, sir.
[crouding round him.
-- 61 --
Pet.
Here, sir! here, sir! here, sir! here, sir!—
You logger-headed and unpolish'd grooms!
What, no attendance note? no regard? no duty?—
Where is the foolish knave I sent before?
Gru.
Here, sir; as foolish as I was before.
Pet.
You peasant swain! you whorson malt-horse drudge!
Did I not bid thee meet me in the park,
And bring along these rascal note knaves with thee?
Gru.
Nathaniel's coat, sir; was not fully made,
And Gabriel's pumps were all unpink'd i' the heel;
There was no link to colour Peter's hat,
And Walter's dagger was not come from sheathing:
There were none fine, but Adam, Ralph, and Gregory;
The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly;
Yet, as they are, here are note they come to meet you.
Pet.
Go, rascals, go, and fetch my supper in.—
[Exeunt some of the Servants. Cloth lay'd.
Where is the life that late I led, say they:—
[sings.
Where are those villains?—Sit down, Kate, and welcome.—
[sits to Table
Soud, soud, soud, soud!—
[wiping himself.
Re-enter Servants, with Supper.
Why when, I say?—Nay, good sweet Kate, be merry.—
Off with my boots, you rogues, you villains; When?—
It was the friar of orders gray,
[sings.
as he forth walked on his way:—
Out, out, you rogue! [to the Servant.] you pluck my foot awry:
Take that, [striking him.] and mend the plucking of the other.—
Be merry, Kate:—Some water here; what ho!—
Where's my spaniel Troilus?—Sirrah, get you hence,
And bid my cousin Ferdinand come hither:—
[Exit Ser.
-- 62 --
One, Kate, that you must kiss, and be acquainted with.—
Where are my slippers?—Shall I have some water?—
[Water presented.
Come, Kate, and wash, and welcome heartily:—
[Servant lets the Ewer fall.
Your whorson villain! will you let it fall?
[strikes him.
Cat.
Patience, I pray you; 'twas a fault unwilling.
Pet.
A whorson, beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave!—
Come, Kate, sit down; I know, you have a stomach.
[seats her by him.
Will you give thanks, sweet Kate; or else shall I?—
What is this? mutton?
1. S.
Ay.
Pet.
Who brought it?
1. S.
I. note
Pet.
'Tis burnt; and so is all the rest o' the meat:—
What dogs are these?—Where is the rascal cook?—
How durst you, villains, bring it from the dresser,
And serve it thus to me that love it not?
There, take it to you, trenchers, cups, and all;
[throwing all at them.
You heedless jolt-heads, and unmanner'd slaves!
What, do you grumble? I'll be with you straight.
Cat.
I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet;
The meat was well, if you were so contented.
Pet.
I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt, and dry'd away;
And I expressly am forbid to touch it,
For it engenders choler, planteth anger:
And better 'twere, that both of us did fast,—
Since, of ourselves, ourselves are cholerick,—
Than feed it with such over-roasted flesh.
Be patient; to-morrow't shall be mended,
-- 63 --
And, for this night, we'll fast for company:—
Come, I will bring thee to thy bridal chamber.
[Exit, leading out Cat. Cur. follows.
1. S. [advancing.]
Peter, didst ever see the like?
5. S.
He kills her
In her own humour.
Re-enter Curtis.
Gru.
Where is he?
Cur.
In her chamber,
Making a sermon of continency to her:
And rails, and swears note, and rates; that she, poor soul,
Knows not which way to stand, to look, to speak;
And sits as one new-risen from a dream.
Away, away! for he is coming hither.
[Exeunt.
Re-enter Petruchio.
Pet.
Thus have I politickly begun my reign,
And 'tis my hope to end successfully:
My faulcon now is sharp, and passing empty;
And, 'till she stoop, she must not be full-gorg'd,
For then she never looks upon her lure.
Another way I have to man my haggard,
To make her come, and know her keeper's call;
That is,—to watch her, as we watch these kites,
That bait, and beat, and will not be obedient.
She eat no meat to-day, nor none shall eat;
Last night she slept not, nor to-night she shall not:
As with the meat, some undeserved fault
I'll find about the making of the bed;
And here I'll fling the pillow, there the bolster,
This way the coverlet, another way the sheets:—
Ay, and, amid this hurly, I intend note,
That all is done in reverend care of her;
-- 64 --
And, in conclusion, she shall watch all night:
And, if she chance to nod, I'll rail, and brawl,
And with the clamour keep her still awake.
This is a way to kill a wife with kindness;
And thus I'll curb her mad and headstrong humour:—
He that knows better how to tame a shrew,
Now let him speak; 'tis charity, to shew.
[Exit.
Edward Capell [1767], Mr William Shakespeare his comedies, histories, and tragedies, set out by himself in quarto, or by the Players his Fellows in folio, and now faithfully republish'd from those Editions in ten Volumes octavo; with an introduction: Whereunto will be added, in some other Volumes, notes, critical and explanatory, and a Body of Various Readings entire (Printed by Dryden Leach, for J. and R. Tonson [etc.], London) [word count] [S10601].
