Audrey.
Clo.
We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle
Audrey.
-- 79 --
Aud.
'Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the
old gentleman's saying.
Clo.
A most wicked sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile
Mar-text. But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest
lays claim to you.
Aud.
Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me
in the world: here comes the man you mean.
Enter William.
Clo.
It is meat and drink to me to see a clown: By
my troth, we that have good wits have much to answer
for; we shall be flouting; we cannot hold.
Wil.
Good ev'n, Audrey.
Aud.
God ye good ev'n, William.
Wil.
And good ev'n to you, sir.
Clo.
Good ev'n, gentle friend: Cover thy head, cover
thy head; nay, pr'ythee, be cover'd. How old are
you, friend?
Wil.
Five and twenty, sir.
Clo.
A ripe age: Is thy name, William?
Wil.
William, sir.
Clo.
A fair name: Wast born i' th' forest here?
Wil.
Ay, sir, I thank God.
Clo.
Thank God; A good answer: Art rich?
Wil.
'Faith, sir, so so.
Clo.
So so; 'Tis good, very good, very excellent
good:—and yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?
Wil.
Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Clo.
Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a
saying; The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise
man knows himself to be a fool. The heathen philosopher,14Q0332
when he had a desire to eat a grape, would open
his lips when he put it into his mouth; meaning thereby,
-- 80 --
that grapes were made to eat, and lips to open. You
do love this maid?
Wil.
I do, sir.
Clo.
Give me your hand: Art thou learned?
Wil.
No, sir.
Clo.
Then learn this of me; To have, is to have:
For it is a figure in rhetorick, that drink, being pour'd
out of a cup into a glass, by filling the one doth empty
the other: For all your writers do consent, that ipse is
he; now you are not ipse, for I am he.
Wil.
Which he, sir?
Clo.
He, sir, that must marry this woman: Therefore,
you clown, abandon,—which is in the vulgar,
leave,—the society,—which in the boorish is, company,—of
this female,—which in the common is, woman,
—which together is, abandon the society of this female;
or, clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding,
dyest; or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away,
translate thy life into death, thy liberty into bondage:
I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado, or in
steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will o'er-run
thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and fifty
ways; therefore tremble, and depart.
Aud.
Do, good William.
Wil.
God rest you merry, sir.
[Exit William.
Enter Corin.
Cor.
Our master and mistress seek note you; come, away,
away.
Clo.
Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey;—I attend, I attend.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II.
The same.
-- 81 --
Enter Orlando, and Oliver.
Orl.
Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance you
should like her? that, but seeing, you should love her?
and, loving, woo? and, wooing, she should grant? And
will you persever to enjoy her?
Oli.
Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the
poverty of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing,
nor her sudden consenting; but say with me, I love
Aliena; say with her, that she loves me; consent with
both, that we may enjoy each other: it shall be to your
good; for my father's house, and all the revenue that
was old sir Rowland's, will I estate upon you, and here
live and die a shepherd.
Enter Rosalind.
Orl.
You have my consent. Let your wedding be
to-morrow: thither will I invite the duke, and all his
contented followers: Go you, and prepare Aliena; for,
look you, here comes my Rosalind.
Ros.
God save you, brother.
Oli.
And you, fair sister.
[Exit Oliver.
Ros.
O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see
thee wear thy heart in a scarf.
Orl.
It is my arm.
Ros.
I thought, thy heart had been wounded with
the claws of a lion.
Orl.
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.
Ros.
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited
to swoon, when he shew'd me your handkerchief?
Orl.
Ay, and greater wonders than that.
Ros.
O, I know where you are: Nay, 'tis true: there
was never any thing so sudden, but the fight of two
rams, and Cæsar's thrasonical brag of—I came, saw, and
-- 82 --
overcame: note For your brother and my sister no sooner met,
but they look'd; no sooner look'd, but they lov'd; no
sooner lov'd, but they sigh'd; no sooner sigh'd, but they
ask'd one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason,
but they sought the remedy: and in these degrees
have they made a pair of stairs to marriage, which they
will climb incontinent, or else be incontinent before
marriage: they are in the very wrath of love, and they
will together; clubs cannot part them.
Orl.
They shall be marry'd to-morrow; and I will
bid the duke to the nuptial. But, o, how bitter a thing
it is, to look into happiness through another man's eyes!
By so much the more shall I to-morrow be at the height
of heart-heaviness, by how much I shall think my brother
happy, in having what he wishes for.
Ros.
Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn
for Rosalind?
Orl.
I can live no longer by thinking.
Ros.
I will weary you then no longer with idle talking.
Know of me then, (for now I speak to some purpose)
that I know you are a gentleman of good conceit:
I speak not this, that you should bear a good opinion of
my knowledge, insomuch, I say, I know you are; neither
do I labour for a greater esteem than may in some
little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself
good, and not to grace me. Believe then, if you please,
that I can do strange things: I have, since I was three
year old, convers'd with a magician, most profound in
his art, and yet not damnable: If you do love Rosalind,
so near the heart as your gesture cries it out, note when your
brother marries Aliena, shall you marry her: I know into
what straights of fortune she is driven; and it is not
-- 83 --
impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you,
to set her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is,
and without any danger.
Orl.
Speak'st thou in sober meanings?
Ros.
By my life, I do;14Q0333 which I tender dearly, though
I say I am a magician: Therefore put you in your
best array, bid your friends; for if you will be marry'd
to-morrow, you shall; and to Rosalind, if you will. Look,
here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.
Enter Silvius, and Phebe.
Phe.
Youth, you have done me much ungentleness,
To shew the letter that I writ to you.
Ros.
I care not, if I have: it is my study,
To seem despiteful and ungentle to you:
You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd;
Look upon him, love him; he worships you.
Phe.
Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.
Sil.
It is to be all made of sighs and tears;—
And so am I for Phebe:
Phe.
And I for Ganimed:
Orl.
And I for Rosalind:
Ros.
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of faith and service;—
And so am I for Phebe:
Phe.
And I for Ganimed:
Orl.
And I for Rosalind:
Ros.
And I for no woman.
Sil.
It is to be all made of fantasy,
All made of passion, and all made of wishes;
All adoration, duty, and observance, note
All humbleness, all patience, and impatience,
All purity, all trial, all observance;—
-- 84 --
And so am I for Phebe:
Phe.
And so am I for Ganimed:
Orl.
And so am I for Rosalind:
Ros.
And so am I for no woman.
Phe.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[to Ros.
Sil.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
[to Phe.
Orl.
If this be so, why blame you me to love you?
Ros.
Who do you speak to, note why blame you me to love
you?
Orl.
To her, that is not here, nor doth not hear.
Ros.
Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling
of Irish wolves against the moon.—I will help you,
[to Sil.] if I can:—I would love you, [to Phe.] if I
could.—To-morrow meet me all together note. I will marry
you, [to Phe.] if ever I marry woman, and I'll be marry'd
to-morrow:—I will satisfy you, [to Orl.] if ever I
satisfy'd man, and you shall be marry'd to-morrow:—I
will content you, [to Sil.] if what pleases you contents
you, and you shall be marry'd to-morrow.—As you [to
Orl.] love Rosalind, meet;—As you [to Sil.] love Phebe,
meet; And as I love no woman, I'll meet. So fare you
well; I have left you commands.
Sil.
I'll not fail, if I live.
Phe.
Nor I.
Orl.
Nor I.
[Exeunt.
SCENE III.
The Same.
Enter Clown, and Audrey.
Clo.
To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey; to-morrow
will we be marry'd.
-- 85 --
Aud.
I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it
is no dishonest desire, to desire to be a woman of the
world. Here come two of the banish'd duke's pages.
Enter two Pages.
1. P.
Well, met, honest gentleman.
Clo.
By my troth, well met: Come, sit, sit, and a
song.
2. P.
We are for you; sit i'the middle.
1. P.
Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking,
or spitting, or saying we are hoarse; which are the only note
prologues to a bad voice?
2. P.
I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two
gipsies on a horse.
SONG.
I. St.
It was a lover, and his lass,
with a hey, and a ho,
and a hey nonino,
that o'er the green corn-field did pass
in the spring time,
the pretty spring time, note
when birds do sing
hey ding a ding, ding;
sweet lovers love the spring.
II. St.
Between the acres of the rye,
with a hey, and a ho, &c.
these pretty country-folks would lye
in the spring time, &c.
III. St.
14Q0334The carol they began that hour,
with a hey, and a ho, &c.
-- 86 --
how that a life was but a flower
in the spring time, &c.
IV. St.
And therefore14Q0335 take the present time,
with a hey, and a ho, &c.
For love is crowned with the prime
in the spring time, &c.
Clo.
Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no
great matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable.
1. P.
You are deceiv'd, sir; we kept time, we lost
not our time.
Clo.
By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to
hear such a foolish song. God be wi'you; and God mend
your voices.—Come, Audrey.
[Exeunt.
SCENE IV.
The same.
Enter Duke senior, and his Followers, Orlando, Jaques, Oliver, and Celia.
D. s.
Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orl.
I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not;
As those that fear their hope,14Q0336 and know their fear. note
Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Ros.
Patience once more, whiles our compáct is urg'd:—
You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
You will bestow her on Orlando here?
D. s.
That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
Ros.
And you say, you will have her, when I bring her?
-- 87 --
Orl.
That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
Ros.
You say, you'll marry me, if I be willing?
Phe.
That will I, should I die the hour after.
Ros.
But, if you do refuse to marry me,
You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
Phe.
So is the bargain.
Ros.
You say, that you'll have Phebe, if she will?
Sil.
Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Ros.
I have promis'd to make all this matter even.
Keep you your word, o duke, to give your daughter;—
You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter:—
Keep your note word, Phebe, that you'll marry me;
Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd:—
Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her,
If she refuse me:—and from hence I go,
To make these doubts all even.
[Exeunt Rosalind, and Celia.
D. s.
I do remember in this shepherd-boy
Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.
Orl.
My lord, the first time that I ever saw him,
Methought, he was a brother to your daughter:
But, my good lord, this boy is forest born;
And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments
Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
Whom he reports to be a great magician,
Obscured in the circle of this forest.
Enter Clown, and Audrey.
Jaq.
There is, sure, another flood toward, and these
couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of
very strange beasts, which in all tongues are call'd fools.
Clo.
Salutation and greeting to you all.
-- 88 --
Jaq.
Good my lord, bid him welcome: This is the
motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in
the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears.
Clo.
If any man doubt that, let him put me to my
purgation. I have trod a measure; I have flatter'd a lady;
I have been politick with my friend, smooth with
mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had
four quarrels, and like to have fought one.
Jaq.
And how was that ta'en up?
Clo.
'Faith, we met; and found, the quarrel was upon
the seventh cause.
Jaq.
How seventh cause?—Good my lord, like this
fellow.
D. s.
I like him very well.
Clo.
God'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I
press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives,
to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage
binds, and blood breaks: A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favour'd
thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humour of
mine, sir, to take that that no man else will: Rich honesty
dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house; as your
pearl, in your soul oister.
D. s.
By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
Clo.
According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet
diseases.
Jaq.
But, for the seventh cause; how did you find
the quarrel upon the seventh cause?
Clo.
Upon a lie seven times removed;—Bear your
body more seeming, Audrey:—as thus, sir. I did dislike
the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word,
if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind
it was: this is call'd, The retort courteous. If I sent
-- 89 --
him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me
word, he cut it to please himself: this is call'd, The
quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabl'd
my judgment: this is call'd, The reply churlish. If again,
it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not
true: this is call'd, The reproof valiant. If again, it was
not well cut, he would say, I ly'd: note this is call'd, The
counter-check quarrelsome: and so to The lie circumstantial,
and The lie direct.
Jaq.
And how oft did you say, his beard was not
well cut?
Clo.
I durst go no further than the lie circumstantial,
nor he durst not give me the lie direct; and so we
measur'd swords, and parted.
Jaq.
Can you nominate in order now the degrees of
the lie?
Clo.
O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book;14Q0337 as you
have books for good manners: I will name you the degrees.
The first, the retort courteous; the second, the
quip modest; the third, the reply churlish; the fourth,
the reproof valiant; the fifth, the counter-check quarrelsome;
the sixth, the lie with circumstance; the seventh,
the lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct;
and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew
when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but
when the parties were met themselves, one of them
thought but of an If, as, if you said so, then I said so, and
they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the
only peace-maker; much virtue in If.
Jaq.
Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? he's as good
at any thing, and yet a fool.
D. s.
He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under
-- 90 --
the presentation of that he shoots his wit.
Re-enter14Q0338 Rosalind, and Celia, in their proper Dress; Ros. led by a Person presenting Hymen. Still Musick.
Hym.
Then is there mirth in heaven,
when earthly things made even
atone together
Good duke, receive thy daughter,
Hymen from heaven brought her,
yea, brought her hither;
that thou might'st join her hand note with his,
whose heart within his bosom is.
Ros.
To you I give myself, [to D. s.] for I am yours.—
To you I give myself, [to Orl.] for I am yours.
D. s.
If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
Orl.
If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phe.
If sight and shape be true,
Why then,—my love adieu!
Ros.
I'll have no father, if you be not he:—
I'll have no husband, if you be not he:—
Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.
Hym.
Peace, ho! I bar confusion:
'Tis I must make conclusion
Of these most strange events:
Here's eight that must take hands,
To join in Hymen's bands,
If truth holds true contents.
You and you [to. Orl. and Ros.] no cross shall part;
You and you [to Oli. and Cel.] are heart in heart:—
You [to Phe.] to his love must accord,
Or have a woman to your lord:—
You and you [to Clo. and Aud.] are sure together,
-- 91 --
As the winter and foul weather.
Whiles a wedlock hymn we sing,
Feed yourselves with questioning;
That reason wonder may diminish,
How thus we met, and these things finish.
SONG.
Wedding is great Juno's crown;
O blessed bond of board and bed!
'tis Hymen peoples every town;
high wedlock then be honoured:
Honour, high honour and renown,
to Hymen, god of every town!
D. s.
O my dear niece, [to Cel.] welcome thou art to me;
Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.
Phe.
I will not eat my word, [to Sil.] now thou art mine;
Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
Enter Jaques de Boys.
de B.
Let me have audience for a word, or two.
I am the second son of old sir Rowland,
That bring these tidings to this fair assembly:—
Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot,
In his own conduct, purposely to take
His brother here, and put him to the sword:
And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;
Where, meeting with an old religious man,
After some question with him, was converted
Both from his enterprize, and from the world:
His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,
And all their lands restor'd to them again note
That were with him exil'd: This to be true,
-- 92 --
I do engage my life.
D. s.
Welcome, young man;
Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:
To one, his lands withheld; and to the other,
A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
First, in this forest, let us do those ends
That here were well begun, and well begot:
And after, every of this happy number,
That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us,
Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
According to the measure of their states.
Meantime, forget this new-faln dignity,
And fall into our rustick revelry:—
Play, musick;—and you brides and bridegrooms all,
With measure heap'd in joy, to the measures fall.
Jaq.
Sir, by your patience:14Q0339—If I heard you rightly,
The duke hath put on a religious life,
And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
de B.
He hath.
Jaq.
To him will I: out of these convertites
There is much matter to be heard, and learn'd.—
You [to D. s.] to your former honour I bequeath;
Your patience, and your virtue, well deserves note it:—
You [to Orl.] to a love that your true faith doth merit:—
You [to Oli.] to your land, and love, and great allies:—
You [to Sil.] to a long and well deserved bed;—
And you [to Clo.] to wrangling; for thy loving voyage
Is but for two months victual'd:—So to your pleasures;
I am for other than for dancing measures.
D. s.
Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaq.
To see no pastime, I: what you would have
I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave.
[Exit.
-- 93 --
D. s.
Proceed, proceed: we will begin note these rites,
As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.
[A Dance.
EPILOGUE.
Ros.
It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue:
but it is no more unhandsome, than to see the
lord the prologue. If it be true, that good wine needs
no bush, 'tis true, that a good play needs no epilogue:
Yet to good wine they do use good bushes; and good
plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues.
What a case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue,
nor cannot insinuate note with you in the behalf of a
good play? I am not furnish'd like a beggar; therefore
to beg will not become me: my way is, to conjure you;
and I'll begin with the women. I charge you, o women,14Q0340
for the love you bear to men, to like as much of this
play as pleases them; note and I charge you, o men, for the
love you bear to women, (as I perceive by your simpering,
none of you hates note them) to like as much as pleases
them; that, between you and the women, the play may
please. If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of
you as had beards that pleas'd me, complexions that
lik'd me, and breaths that I defy'd not: and, I am sure,
as many as have good beards, or good faces, or sweet
breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make cur'sy,
bid me farewel.
[Exeunt.
