Cal.
All the infections that the sun sucks up [throwing down his Burthen.
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him
By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,
And yet I needs must curse. But they'll not pinch,
Fright me with urchin shews, pitch me i' th' mire,

Nor lead me, like a fire-brand, in the dark
Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but
For every trifle are they set upon me:
Sometime like apes, that moe and chatter at me,
And after bite me; then like hedge-hogs, which
Lye tumbling in my bare-foot way, and mount
Their pricks at my foot-fall; sometime am I
All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
Do hiss me into madness;—Lo, now, lo! Enter Trinculo.
Here comes a spirit of his; and to torment me,
For bringing wood in slowly: I'll fall flat; [casts himself on the Ground.
Perchance, he will not mind me.

Tri.

Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off any weather at all; and another storm brewing, I hear it sing i' th' wind: yond' same black cloud, yond' huge one, looks like a foul bumbard that would shed his liquor: if it should thunder, as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond' same cloud cannot choose but fall by pail-fulls.—What have we here? seeing Caliban.] a man, or a fish? Dead, or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of, not of the newest, poor-John. A strange fish! Were I in England now, (as once I was) and had but this fish ^note painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast there makes a man; when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Leg'd like a man! and his fins like arms! Warm, o'my troth! I do now let loose my opinion, hold it no longer; this

is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffer'd by a thunder-bolt. [Thunder.] Alas, the storm is come again: my best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no other shelter hereabout: Misery acquaints a man with strange bed-fellows: I will here shrowd 'till the dregs of the storm be past.

Ste.

I shall no more to sea, to sea,
  here shall I dye a-shore;—
This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's funeral:
Well, here's my comfort. [drinks.

The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,
    the gunner, and his mate,
lov'd Mall, Meg, and Marrian, and Margery,
  but none of us car'd for Kate:
  for she had a tongue with a tang,
  would cry to a sailor, Go, hang;
she lov'd not the favour of tar nor of pitch,
yet a tailor might scratch her where-e'er she did itch:
  then to sea, boys, and let her go hang.
This is a scurvy tune too: But here's my comfort. [drinks.

Cal.

Do not torment me: O!

Ste.

What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon's, with savages, and men of Inde? Ha! I have not 'scap'd drowning, to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground: and it shall be said so again, while Stephano breaths at nostrils. ^note

Cal.

The spirit torments me; O!

Ste.

This is some monster of the isle, with four legs; who hath got, as I take it, an ague: Where, the devil,

should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that: If I can recover him, and keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he's a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's-leather.

Cal.

Do not torment me, pr'ythee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

Ste.

He's in his fit now; and does not talk after the wisest: He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit: If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him; he shall pay for him, that hath him, and that soundly.

Cal.

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: Now Prosper works upon thee.

Ste.

Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that which will give language to you, cat; open your mouth: this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend; open your chaps again.

Tri.

I should know that voice: It should be—But he is drown'd; and these are devils: O, defend me!

Ste.

Four legs, and two voices; a most delicate monster! His forward voice now is to speak well ^note of his friend; his backward voice now is to utter foul speeches, and to detract: If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague: Come, Amen; I will pour some in thy other mouth.

Tri.

Stephano,—

Ste.

Doth thy other mouth call me? mercy, mercy! This is a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.14Q0016

Tri.

Stephano,—if thou be'st Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo,—be not afeard,—thy good friend Trinculo.

Ste.

If thou be'st Trinculo, come forth; I'll pull thee by the lesser legs; if any be Trinculo's legs, these are they: [hauling him: he and Cal. rise.] Thou art very Trinculo indeed: How cam'st thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can he vent Trinculo's?

Tri.

I took him to be kill'd with a thunder-stroke;— But art thou not drown'd, Stephano? I hope now, thou art not drown'd:—Is the storm over-blown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine, for fear of the storm:—And art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scap'd!

Ste.

Pr'ythee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

Cal.
These be fine things, an if they be not sprights!
That's a brave god, and bears celestial liquor:
I will kneel to him.

Ste.

How did'st thou 'scape? How cam'st thou hither? swear by this bottle, how thou cam'st hither. I escap'd upon a but of sack, which the sailors heaved o'er-board, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree, with mine own hands, since I was cast a-shore.

Cal.

I'll swear, upon that bottle, to be thy true subject; for the liquor is not earthly.

Ste.

Here; swear then how thou escap'dst.

Tri.

Swom a-shore, man, like a duck; I can swim like a duck, I'll be sworn.

Ste.

Here, † kiss the book: Though thou can'st swim like a duck, thou art made like a ^note goose.

Tri.

O Stephano, hast any more of this?

Ste.

The whole but, man; my cellar is in a rock by th' sea-side, where my wine is hid.—How now, moon-calf? how does thine ague?

Cal.

Hast thou not dropt from heaven?

Ste.

Out o' th' moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i' th' moon, when time was.

Cal.

I have seen thee in her; and I do adore thee: My mistress shew'd me thee, and thy dog, and thy bush.

Ste.

Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish it anon with new ^note contents: † swear.

Tri.

By this good light, this is a very shallow monster: —I afeard of him?—a very weak monster: ^note—The man i' th' moon?—a most poor credulous monster:— Well drawn, monster, in good sooth.

Cal.
I'll shew thee every fertil inch o'the isle; ^note
And I will kiss thy foot: I pr'ythee, be my god.

Tri.

By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster; when's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

Cal.

I'll kiss thy foot: I'll swear myself thy subject.

Ste.

Come on then; down, and swear.

Tri.

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster: A most scurvy monster: I could find in my heart to beat him,—

Ste.

Come, kiss.

Tri.

but ^note that the poor monster's in drink: An abominable monster.

Cal.
I'll shew thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;
I'll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man.

Tri.

A most ridiculous monster; to make a wonder

of a poor drunkard!

Cal.
I pr'ythee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;
Show thee a jay's nest, and instruct thee how
To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee
To clust'ring filberds, and sometimes I'll get thee
Young scamels ^note from the rock: Wilt thou go with me?

Ste.

I pr'ythee now, lead the way without any more talking.—Trinculo, the king, and all our company else, being drown'd, we will inherit here.—Here, [to Cal.] bear my bottle:—Fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by and by again.