Somewhere about the year 1783, Jonathan, a
young fellow who lived away down east, took it
into his head to make a voyage to Canton. Accordingly
he fitted out his sloop, a tarnation clever
vessel of about eighty tons, and taking a crazy old
compass for his guide, his two cousins, one a lad
about sixteen, and a great Newfoundland dog for
his crew, and a couple of rusty revolutionary swords
for an armament, he boldly set forth on a voyage to
the celestial empire.

Jonathan was a mighty cute lad, and had read a
little or so about the great devotion of the Chinese
to the herb called ginseng, which every body knows
is a remedy for all things. He happened one day
to hear an indian doctor give it as his opinion that
a certain plant, which grew in the neighbourhood of
Jonathan's natale solum, was very much like the
famous Chinese panacea, as he had seen it described.
He took a hint from this, and rather guessed

[figure description] Page 014.[end figure description]

he would carry a good parcel along with him on
speculation. Accordingly he gathered a few hundred
weight, dried, and stowed it away in one of
his lockers, under the cabin floor.

Providence, which seems to take special care of
such droll fellows as Jonathan, who calculate pretty
considerably on their native energies, blessed him
with fair winds and good weather; his old compass
behaved to admiration; his ancient chart, which
had been torn into fifty thousand pieces and pasted
on a bit of tarpaulin, proved a most infallible guide;
and some how or other, he could not exactly tell
how, he plumped his sloop right into Table Bay,
just as if the old fellow had been there a hundred
times before.

The dutch harbor-master was sitting under his
hat on his piazza, when he beheld, through the
smoke of his pipe, his strange apparition of a vessel,
scudding like a bird into the bay. He took it
for the famous Flying Dutchman, and such was
his trepidation, that he stuck his pipe into his button-hole
without knocking out the ashes, whereby
he burnt a hole in his waistcoat. When Jonathan
rounded to, and came to anchor, the harbor-master
ventured to go on board to get information concerning
this strange little barque. He could talk
English, Dutch fashion, for indeed he had been
promoted to the office on account of his skill in
languages.

“Whence came you, Mynheer?” quoth he.

“Right off the reel from old Salem, I guess,”
replied Jonathan.

[figure description] Page 015.[end figure description]

“Old Salem—whereabouts is dat den? I tont
know any sich place about here.”

“I guess not. What's your name, squire?”

“Hans Ollenbockenoffenhaffengraphensteiner ish
my name.”

“Whew! why it's as long as a pumpkin vine—
now aint it?”

“But whereabouts ish dish blashe you speague
of?” reiterated the harbor-master.

“O, it's some way off—about six or eight thousand
miles down west there.”

“Six tousand duyvels!” muttered Hans with the
long name. “Do you tink I vill pelieve such a cog
and pullsh tory as dat, Mynheer?”

“If you don't believe me, ask my two cousins
there—and if you don't believe them, ask my dog.
I tell you I come right straight from old Salem, in
the United States of Amerrykey.”

“United Sthaites of vat? I never heard of any
United Sthaites but de Sthaites of Hollant.”

“Ah—I suppose not—they've jist been christened
I 'spose now, likely you've never heard of the new
world neither, have you mister—what's your name?”

“Hans Ollenbockenoffenhaffengraphensteiner—
I told you zo pefore.”

“Maybe you'll have to tell me again before I
know it by heart, I calculate. But did you never
hear of the new world, squire?”

“Not I—ant if I hat, I vould'nt hafe pelieved it.
Tare ish no new vorlt zinze de tiscovery of de
Cape of Good Hoop dat I know. Put, gome along,
you must co vid me to de gubernador.”

[figure description] Page 016.[end figure description]

Jonathan puzzled the governor about as much
as he had done the harbor-master. But his papers
were all fair and above board, and the governor had
not only heard of the new world, but of the United
States of Amerrykey, as Jonathan called them. Accordingly
he was permitted to enjoy all the privileges
of the port.

Nothing could exceed the wonder and curiosity
excited by the vessel among the people at the
Cape. That he should have made a voyage of
so many thousand miles, with such a crew and
such an outfit, was, in their opinion, little less
than miraculous; and the worthy governor could
only account for it by the aid of witchcraft, which,
he had somewhere been told, abounded in the new
world. Jonathan was the greatest man, and his
dog the greatest dog at the Cape. He dined with
the governor and burgomasters; cracked his jokes
with their wives and daughters, danced with the
Hottentots, and might have married a rich Dutch
damsel of five hundred weight, and five thousand
ducats a year, provided he would have given up
old Salem forever.

After partaking of the hospitalities of the Cape
a few days, Jonathan began to be in a hurry to
prosecute his voyage. He knew the value of time
as well as money. On the sixth day he accordingly
set sail amid the acclamations of the inhabitants,
taking with him a hippopotamus, an ourang
outang, and six ring-tailed monkeys, all of which
he had bought on speculation. One of his cousins
had, however, been so smitten with the country

[figure description] Page 017.[end figure description]

about the Cape, or with the charms of a little
Dutch maiden, that he determined to stay behind,
marry, and improve the inhabitants—on speculanation.
A Dutch sailor offered to supply his place,
but Jonathan declined, saying he guessed his other
cousin and the Newfoundland dog, who was a pretty
particular cute kritter, could sail his sloop quite round
the world and back again.

Not much of interest occurred during the voyage
until he arrived at Macao, where he excited the
same astonishment, underwent the same scrutiny,
returned the same satisfactory answers, and came
off as triumphantly as he did at the Cape of Good
Hope. While here, he saw every thing, inquired
about every thing, and went every where. Among
other adventures, he one day accompanied his cousin
in a fishing-boat, to see if they fished as the
people did on the banks of Newfoundland. Unfortunately
a violent storm came on; some of the
boats were lost, and their crews drowned. The
survivors went and offered up some of their paddles
at the great temple of Neang-ma-ko. Those
that were able added some matches and gilt paper.
Jonathan's other cousin here determined to stay
behind at Macao. It occurred to him he might
make a speculation by curing the fish after the
manner of mackerel. Jonathan did not much
like this, but he said “never mind, I partly guess I
can do without him.”

Jonathan had now no one but his New foundland
dog to assist in the navigation of his sloop. But he
thought to himself, his voyage was almost at an end,

[figure description] Page 018.[end figure description]

and, at all events, if he hired any of the Macao people,
they would be offering up matches and gilt paper
to Neang-ma-ko, instead of minding their business.
So he set sail for Canton, the Chinese prognosticating
he would go to the bottom, because he did not
make an offering to Neang-ma-ko, and the Portuguese
that he would go to the devil, because he did not
pay his devoirs to the virgin.

At Lin-Tin he was taken for a smuggler of
opium by some, and for a magician by others, when
they saw his vessel, heard where he hailed from,
and became convinced that his whole crew consisted
of a Newfoundland dog. The commander of the
fleet of ships of war stationed at Lin-Tin, to prevent
the smuggling of opium into the celestial empire,
seized the sloop, and devoted its brave commander
to the indignation of the mighty emperor, who is
brother to the sun and moon. Hereupon Jonathan
bethought himself of a piece of the herb he had
brought with him and had in his pocket. “It is a
mighty good chance,” thought he, “to try if it's the
identical thing.” Accordingly he took a convenient
opportunity of presenting to the valiant commander
a bit about as big as his finger. The admiral,
whose name was Tizzy-Wizzy-Twang-Lang, stared
at him at first with astonishment, then at the present
with almost dismay, and thrusting it into his
pocket, immediately caused it to be proclaimed that
the “foreign barbarian” was innocent of the crime,
or the intention of smuggling opium, and might go
any where he pleased. Tizzy-Wizzy-Twang-Lang
then sat down and wrote a despatch to the

[figure description] Page 019.[end figure description]

governor of Canton, stating that he had routed the
“foreign barbarians,” destroyed their fleet, and
thrown all their opium overboard. After which he
shut himself up in his cabin and took a morsel of
the treasure Jonathan had presented him, about as
large as the head of a pin. It is astonishing how
much better he felt afterwards.

In the mean while Jonathan had set sail, and
was ploughing his way towards Canton, with a fair
wind and a good prospect of making a great speculation,
for he had ascertained to a certainty that the
article he had brought with him was the real ginseng,
which was worth five times its weight in gold.
He went ashore at the village of Ho-tun, where he
saw the people catching wild ducks and geese,
which they fatten by feeding in the dark. “That's
a good hint,” said Jonathan, shutting one eye, “and
I'll tell the folks at old Salem.” While he was
walking about, seeing into every thing, he was unexpectedly
saluted by a shower of stones from a
parcel of children, with their hair sticking up behind
like two horns. Jonathan thought this tarnation
ungenteel; but he prudently suppressed his anger,
considering he was in a strange country, and was
come to try his fortune.

“May I be buttered,” quoth Jonathan, as he approached
Canton, and saw the countless boats moored
in streets on the river, or flitting about in every
direction—“may I be buttered, if here isn't a city all
afloat. This beats all nater!”

And sure enough, here was a scene that might
have made one of our Indians wonder. The whole

[figure description] Page 020.[end figure description]

world seemed on the water. Junks, with two eyes
staring at the bows—canal-boats, flower-boats, pleasure-boats,
and boats of all sizes and descriptions,
filled with all sorts of people, lay moored in regular
streets, or were moving about to and fro in every
direction, painted in all the colors of the rainbow,
and ornamented with gold leaf and grinning monsters
having no prototypes in nature, or any where
else but in the grotesque imagination of the artists
of the celestial empire.

The busy activity of some of these boats was
singularly contrasted with the luxurious ease of
others, in which might be seen a couple of Chinese
dandies reclining on mats and resting their heads
on bamboo pillows, with pipes in their mouths,
either listlessly contemplating the scene before them,
or gazing with lack-lustre eye on the picture of some
favorite beauty with penciled eyebrows, nails like a
tiger, and feet almost invisible. Others were performing
the ceremony of chin-chin-jos, which consists
in throwing bits of burning paper into the
water, while the din of innumerable gongs contributed
a species of music to the scene that made
honest Jonathan stop his ears in reverential dismay.

When our adventurer moored his sloop at Whampoa,
in the midst of a fleet of vast ships, of almost
all the nations of Europe, they did not know what
to make of her. All he could say failed in convincing
them that he had come from such a long
distance, in such a vessel, navigated by such a crew.
Besides, what could have brought him to Canton?
He had neither money to purchase, nor cargo to

[figure description] Page 021.[end figure description]

exchange for Chinese commodities, except it might
be his river horse, his ourang-outang, and his
monkeys.

Jonathan kept his own secret. He had heard
that the Chinese were as sharp as the “leetle end of
nothing whittled down,” and determined to be as
sharp as the best of them. Accordingly nothing
could be got out of him, except, that he had come
on his own bottom, and meant to turn a penny
some how or other. He said nothing about his ginseng,
which he had, as I before stated, stowed away
in a secret locker.

The story of the strange man and the strange
vessel that had been navigated from the new world
by a man and a dog, made a great noise, and
thousands flocked to see them. The gentleman
who officiated as American consul, without, however,
having a regular appointment, behaved in the
most kind and friendly manner to Jonathan, and
introduced him to a hong, or as our hero called him,
a hung-merchant, who undertook to do his business
for him, that is, if he had any to do, which seemed
rather doubtful.

“I chin-chin you,” said Fat-qua, the hongman.

“You don't now, do you?” quoth Jonathan.
“Well then, I chin-chin you, and so we are even, I
guess.”

Fat-qua was very anxious to know all about
Jonathan's business; but the Chinese were such
plaguy slippery fellows, he was afraid to trust them
with his secret. He therefore, very gravely, and
with infinite simplicity, commended to him his cargo

[figure description] Page 022.[end figure description]

of live stock, begged he would dispose of them to
the best advantage, and invest the proceeds in a
cargo of notions. Fat-qua did not know whether
to laugh or be angry—however, he concluded by
laughing, and promising to do his best.

The trifle which Jonathan brought with him had
been all expended in maintaining himself and his
dog, and Fat-qua did not feel inclined to advance
any on the security of his live stock. This being
the case, Jonathan one day brought a pound or two
of his ginseng, and asked him carelessly what it
might be likely worth in these parts?

“Hi yah!” exclaimed the hong-merchant in astonishment.
“No, have got some more of he—
hi yah?”

“Some small matter—not much,” said Jonathan,
who was of opinion if he displayed the whole parcel
at once, it might lower the price and injure his
speculation.

Fat-qua disposed of the two pounds of ginseng
for a thumping sum, which Jonathan pocketed in
less than no time, and chuckled in his sleeve, as he
thought of the means to get rid of the whole at the
same rate. A day or two after, he delivered the
hong-merchant a few pounds more, which he said
he had accidentally found in a place where he had
stowed away and forgot it.

“Hi yah! Missee Joe Notting, I chin-chin you.”
And he began to have a great respect for Missee Joe
Notting.

In this way, by slow degrees, did friend Jonathan
bring forth his hoard of hidden treasures, till it was

[figure description] Page 023.[end figure description]

all disposed of, and he found himself in possession
of almost half a million of dollars; for, it is to be
recollected, this happened long before the value of
ginseng was brought down to almost nothing by
the large quantities carried to China, in consequence
of the successful speculation of Jonathan.

Every time he produced a new lot, he declared it
was all he had left, and consequently, to the last
moment the price was kept up. Fat-qua began to
believe that Joe Notting had discovered some hidden
place where it grew, in the neighborhood of Canton,
or that he dealt with the prince of darkness.
He accordingly caused him to be watched, but our
hero was too wide awake for the hong-merchant.

“Hi yah! Missee Joe Notting—some yet more—
when you shall tink shall you no more have—hey?
Every day here come you—say the last is he—hi
yah! I tink no last come forever.”

“I han't another stick to save my gizzard,” said
Jonathan, and this time he spoke like a man of
honor. He had at last sold out his hoard, with the
exception of a small parcel for presents, and to use
on an emergency.

Jonathan was now thinking he would gather
himself together, and point his bowsprit strut towards
home. But first he determined to see about
him, for he expected to be asked a heap of questions
when he got amongst his old neighbors; and not to
be able to tell them all about the celestial empire,
would be to show he had little or no gumption.

He accordingly visited the famous flower garden
of Fa-Tee, where he saw a vast collection of the
most beautiful flowers, and roses of all colors.

[figure description] Page 024.[end figure description]

Returning, he passed through the suburb of HoNam,
where he was called Fan-kwei, which means
“foreign devil,” and pelted handsomely with stones,
according to the hospitable custom of the inhabitants.

Jonathan was now so rich, that he felt himself a
different man from what he was when the boys pelted
him at the village of Ho-tun. He had moreover seen
the bamboo so liberally employed on the backs of the
Chinese by their own officers and magistrates, that
he thought he might make use himself of this universal
panacea for all offences in the celestial empire.
Accordingly, he sallied forth among these inhospitable
rogues, and plied his stick so vigorously that the
rabble fled before him, crying out “Fan-kwei!” and
making motions significant of cutting off the head,
as much as to say that would be his end at last.
The reader must know that beheading is considered
the most disgraceful of all punishments in the celestial
empire, where they do every thing differently
from the rest of the world.

A formal complaint was laid before the Gan-chatsze,
a minister of justice at Canton, against the Fan-kwei,
who had feloniously bambooed the mob of HoNam.
Fat-qua, one of our hero's securities, was
taken into custody till his forthcoming, and an express
sent off to Pekin to announce the intelligence
to the brother of the sun and moon, that a Fan-kwei
had beaten at least two hundred of his valiant
and invincible subjects, who could not bring themselves
to soil their fingers by touching even the
clothes of a foreign barbarian.

Jonathan was soon arrested, and being carried
before the illustrious Gan-chat-sze, was astonished

[figure description] Page 025.[end figure description]

at seeing the infinite mischief he had done. There
was one poor man who had his eye put out; another
his head fractured; a third his arm broken;
and what was worse than all this, three children
were so disabled that they could not stand, all by
Jonathan's bamboo, which was about as thick as
your finger.

This was a serious business for a Fan-kwei.
But his friend Fat-qua whispered in his ear—

“Hi yah—Missee Joe Notting—you some more
have got of that grand—Hi yah! You stand under
me—hey?”

Jonathan tipped him a knowing wink, and Fat-qua
then crept close to the ear of the incorruptible
Gan-chat-sze, and whispered him in like manner;
but what he said being only intended for the ear of
justice, must not be disclosed. The effect, however
was miraculous, the Gan-chat-sze forthwith started
up in a mighty passion, and, seizing his bamboo,
attacked the complainants in the suit with such
wonderful vigor, that he actually performed a miracle,
and restored every one of them to the use of
their limbs. After this, he discharged the offender
with a caution, which Fat-qua translated into excellent
English, and the next day Jonathan sent
him by the hands of the same discreet friend a
pound of ginseng.

“Hi yah! Missee Joe—more some yet, hey! Believe
him make him as him go along—Hi yah!
Chin-chin you, Missee Joe Notting.”

Fat-qua was determined to signalize this triumph

[figure description] Page 026.[end figure description]

of Chinese justice over prejudice against foreigners,
by a great feast of bears-claws, birds-nests, and all
the delicacies of the east. He, therefore, invited a
number of the Fan-kweis about the factory, to meet
Jonathan at his country-seat, near the gardens of
Fa-Te, and they had a jolly time of it. Our hero
was complimented with a pair of chop-sticks of the
most elegant construction and materials, which he
managed with such skill, that, by the time the dinner
was over, he was well nigh starved to death.

The hong-merchant, Fat-qua, was a jolly little
fellow, “about knee-high to a toad,” as Jonathan
used to say, and fond of a good glass of wine. He
plied his guests pretty neatly, until they began to
feel a little top-heavy, and sailed away one by one
under rather high steam, leaving Jonathan and his
friend alone together, the latter fast asleep. Jonathan
was by this time in high feather, and thought
this would be a good time to take a peep at the establishment
of his friend, that he might know something
of these matters when he got home.

He arose without disturbing the little fat gentleman,
and proceeded to penetrate into the interior of
the house, until he came to the female apartments,
in one of which he saw a young lady smoking, to
whom he paid his compliments with a low bow.
Her pipe was formed of slender pieces of bamboo,
highly polished, with a bowl of silver and a mouth-piece
of amber. Her hair was beautifully long, and
tastefully dressed with flowers and gold and silver
bodkins, and the whole atmosphere of the room was

[figure description] Page 027.[end figure description]

perfumed with jasmine and other odoriferous plants
and shrubs. By her side lay a guitar, on which she
seemed to have been playing.

The entrance of Jonathan threw her into great
confusion, and she uttered several violent screams,
which however brought no one to her assistance.
The illustrious Fat-qua was still sleeping in his seat,
and the servants making merry as usual with the remains
of the feast. Jonathan attempted an apology
for his intrusion, but the more he apologized the
louder the young lady screamed. Jonathan wondered
what could be the matter with her.

“Well, I never saw any thing like this growing
among corn—what's come over the gal? May I be
chiselled if I don't think she's afeard I'll eat her.
But why the dickens, if she's frightened, don't she
scamper off, that being the most nat'ral way of
getting out of danger.” Jonathan did not know the
feet of the poor young damsel were not more than
two inches and a half long, and that she could no
more run than fly. They were what the Chinese
poets call a couple of “golden lilies.”

Encouraged by this notion, that her pretending to
be frightened was all sheer affectation, he approached
her still nearer, took up the guitar, and begged
her to play him a tune, such as “Yankee Doodle,”
or any thing of that sort that was pretty easily managed,
for he did not much admire any of your fine
fashionable gimcracks. Jonathan was a plaguy
neat kind of a chap—as handsome a lad as might
be seen; tall and straight, with blue eyes, white

[figure description] Page 028.[end figure description]

forehead, and red cheeks, a little rusted to be sure
with the voyage.

The pretty creature with the little feet, whose
name was Shangtshee, ventured at last to look at
this impudent intruder, and, sooth to say, he did not
appear so terrible at the second glance as at the first.
She smiled, and put out her small foot for Jonathan
to admire. She then took her guitar and played
him a tune—it was not “Yankee Doodle” to be sure,
but it rather pleased Jonathan, for he declared it
beat all, he'd be switched if it didn't. Shangtshee
seemed to understand the compliment, for she smiled
and put out her other golden lily, I suppose to show
Jonathan she had a pair of them. Jonathan admired
the pipe; she handed it to him, he put it to
his lips, and giving it back again, she put it to her
lips, which our hero finally concluded came as near
to kissing as twopence to a groat.

“How the kritter blushes,” thought Jonathan. He
did not know she was painted half an inch thick
after the fashion of the Chinese ladies. As they sat
thus exchanging little pleasant civilities, which,
innocent as they were, endangered both their lives,
they were alarmed, at least the lady—for Jonathan
had never particularly studied Chinese customs—
by the sound of a guitar, at some short distance, in
the garden. It approached nearer, and, in a few
minutes, seemed directly under the window of the
apartment. Shangtshee appeared greatly agitated,
and begged Jonathan by signs to depart the way he
came. But Jonathan had no notion of being scared

[figure description] Page 029.[end figure description]

by a tune, and declined to budge an inch. It was a
nice tune, and he didn't much mind if he heard
another just like it.

Presently the music ceased, and all at once the
young Shangtshee screamed a scream almost as
loud as the former ones. “What can have got into
the curious varmint now, I wonder?” quoth Jonathan.
He little suspected she had caught a glimpse of
the face of her lover through the blinds. This young
man was called Yu-min-hoo, which signifies feathered,
because he was a great poet, and took such
high flights that his meaning was sometimes quite
out of sight. He always carried an ink-bottle suspended
to his button, a bamboo pen stuck behind
his ear, and a book under his arm, in which he wrote
down his thoughts that none might escape him. He
made verses upon Shangtshee, in which he compared
her to a dish of bear's claws, since her nails
were at least six inches long, and she was a delicacy
which the epicure might admire every day in the
year. It was this sentiment which he had set to
music and sung on this eventful evening under the
window of his mistress.

Yu-min-hoo was petrified when he saw his
Shangtshee sitting so cosily by the side of a Fan-kwei,
which, as I said before, means foreign devil.
His indignation was terrible and his jealousy prodigious.
He had thoughts of sitting down by the
light of the moon and writing a furious ode, consigning
the Fan-kwei to all the Chinese devils,
which are the ugliest in the world. Even their

[figure description] Page 030.[end figure description]

gods are monsters, what then must the others be?
On second thoughts, however, Yu-min-hoo restrained
his muse, and in a moment or two they heard
the clatter of his wooden shoes gradually receding.
Shangtshee again entreated with her eyes, her
hands, nay, her very feet, that Jonathan would
make himself scarce. The tears ran down her
cheeks, and like torrents of rain wore deep channels
in them that almost spoiled their beauty.

Jonathan tried all he could to comfort her, when
what was his surprise and indignation at her base
ingratitude, he was saluted with a scratch of those
long nails that constitute the most unequivocal claim
of a Chinese lady to rank. It was a scratch so emphatic
and well-directed, that every nail, and most
especially the little finger nail, left its mark on his
cheek, and it was preceded and followed by a scream
of the highest pretensions.

Our hero was astounded at this salutation. He
had heard of love taps, but never of such as these.
But he soon understood the whole squinting of the
business as slick as a whistle, when he saw little
Fat-qua standing before him breathing fire and
looking fury from his dark sharp-cornered eyes.

“Hi yah!—Missee Joe Notting—spose tink you
daughter my one flower-woman—hey?”

Jonathan endeavoured to convince Fat-qua that
there was not the least harm in sitting by the side
of a young woman in a civil way—that it was done
in his country every day in the year, particularly on
Sundays—and that the women there were quite as

[figure description] Page 031.[end figure description]

good as the Chinese, though they did not wear
wooden shoes, and nails six inches long.

Fat-qua was wroth at this indecorous comparison
of the Fan-kwei ladies with those of the celestial
empire; he ordered his servants to seize Jonathan
as a violator of Chinese etiquette, and a calumniator
of wooden shoes and long nails. He determined in
the bitterness of his heart to have him immediately
before the worshipful Gan-chat-sze, who would not
fail to squeeze some of his dollars out of him.

But further reflection induced him to abandon
this course. He recollected, when the fumes of the
wine were somewhat dissipated, that both himself
and his daughter would be disgraced and dishonored
if it were publicly known that she had been
in company with a Fan-kwei, a stain of the deepest
dye according to the statutes of the celestial empire,
in any but common women. The only way, therefore,
was to make the best of a bad business. Accordingly
he bribed his servants to secrecy—married
his daughter to the poet—and swore never to
invite another Missee Joe Notting to dine with him
so long as there was a woman in his house. He had
never, he said, met with a fellow of this chop before.

Various were the other adventures of our hero,
which are forever incorporated in the annals of the
celestial empire, where he figures as the “Great Fan-kwei,
Joe Notting.” My limits will not suffice to particularize
them all, else would I record how he was
fined a thousand dollars by his old friend, Gan-chat-sze,
for bambooing a valiant sentinel who refused

[figure description] Page 032.[end figure description]

to let him enter the gates of Canton without a bribe;
how his river-horse, being tired of confinement, took
an opportunity to jump overboard, whereby he upset
a boat and came nigh drowning the passengers.
This cost him three thousand dollars more. His
next adventure was picking up the body of a
drowned man in the river one evening, in passing
between his sloop and the shore, whose murder he
was found guilty of before Gan-chat-sze, who kindly
let him off for ten thousand dollars; advising him
at the same time through the hong-merchant, Fat-qua,
to take the earliest opportunity of making himself
invisible within the precincts of the celestial
empire.

“I partly guess I'll take his advice, and pull up
stakes,” said Jonathan. “I never saw such a tarnal
place. It beats every thing, I swow. Why,
squire Fat-qua, I'll tell you what—if you'll only
come to our parts, you may go jist where you
please—do jist as you please—and talk to the gals
as much as you please. I'll be choked if it isn't
true, by the living hokey.”

“Hi yah! Missee Joe Notting,” replied Fat qua,
“she must be some very fine place, dat Merrykey.”

“There you are right, squire. But, good by; I
finally conclude it's best to cut stick. They're
plaguy slippery fellows here; if they aint, may I
be licked by a chap under size.”

Jonathan received the remainder of his money,
which he was then earnestly advised to invest in

[figure description] Page 033.[end figure description]

bills, and at the same time to sell his vessel, and
embark for home in a safer conveyance.

“D'ye think I'm a fellow of no more gumption
than that?” said he. “I'll be darned if there's a
tighter safer thing than my old sloop ever sailed
across the salt sea; and as for your paper money,
I've had enough of that in my own country in
my time.”

He declined shipping a crew, for he said he must
trust, in that case, to strangers; and he thought to
himself that he could easily induce his two cousins
to go home with him now he was so rich. It happened
as he had anticipated; both gladly rejoined
him again, each having failed in his speculation.
The Dutchmen at the Cape forbade the one using
a machine he had invented for saving labor, lest it
might lower the price of their negroes; and the
Portuguese and Chinese refused to eat the fish of
the other, because he neither crossed himself before
the picture of the virgin, nor burnt gilt paper to the
image of Neang-ma-ko.

A prosperous voyage ended in Jonathan's happy
return to Salem, where he became a great man,
even to the extent of being yclept honorable. He
lived long and happily, and his chief boast to the
end of his life was, that he had been the first of
his countrymen to visit the celestial empire, and the
only man that navigated with a Newfoundland dog
for an officer.