Welcome to PhiloLogic  
   home |  the ARTFL project |  download |  documentation |  sample databases |   
Neal, John, 1793-1876 [1822], Logan: a family history, volume 2 (H. C. Carey & I. Lea, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf291v2].
To look up a word in a dictionary, select the word with your mouse and press 'd' on your keyboard.

Previous section

Next section

CHAPTER XI.

Thus passed, hour after hour, between Harold and
Loena, while Elvira was weeping in her room.

`Can there be such desolation, such wretchedness
in doing rightly?' said she, as she parted her wet hair,
and suffered her thin hands to fall, lifelessly, into her
lap, `and yet, was I not prepared for all this? Do I
envy her? Oh my poor heart, art thou indeed bursting?
Well burst, burst, the sooner that thou art insensible, the

-- 306 --

[figure description] Page 306.[end figure description]

better. Oh, is it not bitter, very bitter, to be forgotten,
so utterly, and so speedily?'

But Harold, himself, entered, and put a stop to these
meditations. Loena was hanging on his arm, so fondly,
so modestly, yet with such an assured expression of
comfort and repose, that Elvira, though she smiled
faintly at her approach, could not bear to look upon
her, and turned away, in tears.

`There!' said Harold, gently detaching Loena's arm
from his, `there! that is the woman who has given me
to thee!'

Loena knelt, while her dark eyes filled with tenderness
and lustre, and put her forehead to the hem of Elvira's
garment.

Elvira raised her sweet, noble face. It was very
touching, and sad, yet altered beyond expression, within
a few short hours. Her eyes, too, they that were
wont to glitter, like revolving sapphire, they were now
of a dim wintry blue; and her fresh lips were languid;
her—

`How changed,' sighed Harold, putting his hand,
softly, upon her head; but the smile, and the tearful,
gentle upbraiding of her lifted eyes, as she put up her
hand and pressed his, as it lay there, were almost fatal
to his resolution.

Harold proceeded; but Elvira, who saw, or suspected
something of his purpose, would have prevented
him.

`No, no,' said he, `she shall know all, all, even at the
peril of losing her.'

His brow darkened in terrour, as he said this, for he
remembered the words of Loena. Were they portentous?
he faltered; but, after a momentary struggle, continued
thus, with a solemnity that alternately chilled
poor Loena to the very heart, and sent her blood, like
flashes of scorching fire, over her temples—

`Know, my beloved,' said he, `my first love, thou
who hast come to take possession of thy lawful inheritance,
my whole heart—that—know that, that—but for
this noble creature, this! thou wouldst have found it in
the possession of another, yea, even of herself. Another

-- 307 --

[figure description] Page 307.[end figure description]

week had been too late. I was to have been her husband.
I see thee turn pale; I remember thy words. I
use no concealment with thee. I see my destiny, and
yet, yet Loena, thou shalt know it all. Thou, perhaps,
wonderest at my constancy and love for thee—wonder
no longer. Both were offered up to her—both, I could
have crushed and trampled on—(for I believed thee
unworthy)—and both would I have offered up to her,
but she turned back the offering, and now—gracious
heaven, Loena, what ails thee—speak to me, dear; O,
speak to me!'

`I cannot speak, I cannot, I am choking. Leave me,
leave, I must be alone. Woman! lady! Elvira, let me
embrace thee—no, no, no! my pride is over and gone—
O, bless thee, bless thee! O, my poor heart! my
brain, dear Harold! my brain, my heart—nay, nay, let
me lean on thee awhile—there—I have now subdued
my feeling—we will meet this evening. I must be
left alone till then—I would meditate, and pray.'

She departed; and Elvira accompanied her. But how
passed Harold these hours of absence and trial? O,
ask him not. All about him was black as death. The
earth itself, felt unsteady to his tread, and the sky was
a tremulous vault, seeming about to pass away, as he
looked upon it. The thick sweat, like that of the charnel
house, oozed out of his flesh. All the colouring of
nature ran together. All her sounds and sights. His
heart grew cold within him, and his pulse was sudden
and fitful, like an artery discharging its thickest and
hottest blood. What a fate was his! to play the hero,
and die for it! to be magnanimous and great, and
wretched! Where was he to find rest?

Where a companion, a friend, who could understand,
and glory in his character? Where, that unwearied
one, whose dear eyes would be always seeking
his—whose bosom would, forever and ever, be his abiding
place, aching only when he, its lord, was not leaning
upon it—O, where, where, was he now to turn?

But they met again. The manner of the ladies was
essentially changed, and yet it was mysterious and unsatisfactory.
They, and wo to them who are without

-- 308 --

[figure description] Page 308.[end figure description]

such infirmities, wore a stately, artificial, and very polite
deportment toward each other, in which there was nothing
in the world for one to complain of, unless, that
it was just exactly the manner that was least worthy of
both, on such an occasion. But they were sick and uneasy,
not perhaps with jealousy, exactly, because that is
such an oriental sort of passion, that it would hardly do
to charge such northern ladies with it; but no matter,
was it not strange? One had voluntarily resigned him,
and begged to be forgotten, and the other held him in
the very core of her heart, and yet each trembled with
apprehension of the other. And Harold too, discharged
as he was in his allegiance to Elvira, while his eyes
wandered alternately, from one to the other, as in search
of some kind greeting, felt a strange uneasiness in betraying
his affection for the newly found, and a deeper
disquietude and unwillingness, to be near the newly
lost.

But Loena was an altered woman. The lifted forehead,
and the deep, deep languishing of her dark eyes
had passed; her head was bowed now, and the lids and
lashes were surcharged no longer with their shadowy,
tremulous lustre, but with tears. Yet her voice, and the
transparent olive of her complexion, except that a little
more of trembling mournfulness, at times, in one, and
the alternations, from the deepest crimson to a death-like
paleness, in the other, were more frequent than formerly,
were just what they were, when he left her in
America. Every movement was an effort now, and
there were moments when Harold was sure that she
could not open her lips, without a sob.

`Harold,' said she, at last, when they were alone,
(putting her hand affectionately into his) I cannot yet
inform thee of my determination; and before we renew
that subject, it is my duty to deal as sincerely as thou
hast, and relate all that has happened to me. You have
not forgotten the young officer?'

A quick carnation flashed over her whole face and
neck, as she said this, and her eyes, although cast
down, shot forth ten thousand expressions, that Harold
felt in his very brain.

-- 309 --

[figure description] Page 309.[end figure description]

Harold nodded in silence; but his heart beat hurriedly,
and he averted his face.

`He persecuted me cruelly, bitterly, after you had departed,
' continued Loena; but I found a protector. The
count was like a father to me. And his family, O, how
deeply do I feel their kindness! To them, it is owing
that you see me what I am now, a living woman. They
saved my life! yes, Harold, and what is dearer than
life, they saved me, or rather the count himself, old as
he was, at the peril of his life, saved me, from—from
dishonour.'

Harold leaped into the middle of the floor, and the
blood started from his nostrils, but he said nothing, nothing,
although his breathing could have been heard in
the next house.

`Harold, I tremble for thee; these bursts of passion
will be the death of thee. But this is not all. I owe yet
greater obligations to my mother, the good countess.
She taught me to forgive. She taught the Indian girl
to be meek and humble—Harold, let me pray thee to
be so, too. In short, I was educated as their child. We
suffered cruelly at your silence; but, at length, we learnt
the capture of the vessel; and just about the same time,
the count was recalled, in displeasure, by his king,
and, I was left, dependent almost upon the charity of
a noble, destitute, and desolate family. Merciful
heaven!'

`Loena, dear, why that cry? What means it?'

`Can it be possible,' continued Loena; turn thy
head round again, a little further; there, there, no, not
so far—what a resemblance!'

`Pray, what means this?' said Harold.

`Hast thou a brother, Harold? What an astonishing
resemblance! and how strange too, that it never struck
me before; but thou art so altered since we parted.'

`No, dear, none. I have no brother, no sister.'

But Loena continued, gazing at him; `no brother!'
said she, running on, in French and English to
herself, as if unconscious that she was overheard,
and not heeding him at all—`en verite—so exceedingly
alike—ma foi!—no brother, none,' and then abruptly
addressing him—`O, que j'en suis fâché.'

-- 310 --

[figure description] Page 310.[end figure description]

`Pray, place thyself so again—really, I must have a
sketch—Je ne saurais m'en passer—there! why, it is
Oscar himself!'

`Who? what?' cried Harold, awakening all at once,
as from a trance;' `what is is the meaning of all this?
What Oscar? Who is he? Didst thou know him? my
brother!'

`Hadst thou a brother, then?' said Loena.

`Alas!—poor Oscar—I had!'

`Poor Oscar!' she exclaimed, clasping her hands,
and uplifting her dark, wonderful eyes, streaming with
lustre, and light, and tears, to heaven—`poor Oscar!
O, where is that hero? Kind heaven, where is he? O,
I would follow him the wide world over, barefooted,
and alone—I—'

Harold's arm, which, till this moment had encircled
her waist and supported her, here fell lifelessly at his
side!—Pourquoi?—`Il faut ou qu'il reponde, ou qu'il
dise pourquoi!'

`And didst thou love him?' said Harold, faintly.

`Love him! O, yes, with all my heart and soul—yet
stay, Harold, stay, now I bethink myself, not as I have
loved thee—O, no! but—where is he? Thy voice now,
thy very eyes remind me of him—tears! what has befallen
him? Nay, nay, do not look so upon me. What
have I done? Unlock thy hands, dear; I pray thee do;
throw up the window—O, what have I done? Who is
Oscar? and where is he?'

`In his grave—the ocean,' answered Harold, convulsively.
`Where is he? Shudder, woman; he is standing
at the judgment seat of the Eternal—suicide!'

`What, dead! dead!' shrieked the Indian girl.

A rattling was here heard from the study, and, the
next moment, the sound of some person falling. Harold
rushed in, and found Elvira utterly senseless, but just
opening her eyes, through her dishevelled and encompassing
tresses, like one suddenly struck with delirium,
by some unearthly cry.

`Dead! poor Oscar!' she whispered wildly, and by
starts, `dead! where! when? poor Oscar! there! there!
he struggles! O, the ship! the ship! mercy!'

-- 311 --

[figure description] Page 311.[end figure description]

`And is he really dead?' said the Indian girl, looking
up to Harold, while she held the poor blinded, desolate
Elvira 's head upon her bosom.

`Yes, and destroyed himself,' answered Harold, solemnly.

`No! impossible. I know him too well for that. He
would never forget his first attempt; his miraculous
preservation—his—'

`What meaning is there in thy words? I tell thee,
Loena, that I saw him; I, with my own eyes, leap
overboard at midnight, among the white foam of our
ship's track, and vanish, forever and ever!'

`Overboard, a second time?' said Loena, with a perplexed
and bewildered look, which instantly cleared
up, as she asked him eagerly, `when this was? when he
leaped overboard?'

Harold told her, to the very moment; the year, and
day. `O, heaven!' cried the Indian girl, with a look of
rapturous acknowledgment—`kneel down with me
this moment, Harold! O, thou hast much to be thankful
for—yes, yes, kneel dear, the living God is about
to bless thee! and thou too, woman of the mighty
heart, awake, awake, and kneel with us—the man that
you weep for, is alive!
'

`Who? what!' cried Harold.

`Oscar! Oscar himself is alive, at this moment, I
have no doubt, for he survived his mad plunge. It is
not long since we met. Look to the lady!'

`Art thou mad?' cried Harold, putting his hands,
terrified and trembling, upon Loena's brow.

`Mad! mad!' answered Elvira; `who is mad? Oscar,
where art thou? Come to me, love—is the foam
over thee? I will wash it off—the sea-weed binds thee,
dear—my hands shall untangle it—Is thy hair frozen
and matted? O, I will thaw it in my bosom—come,
Oscar, come to me, love. Where art thou? O, speak
to me! O, yes, yes, yes, I am mad, very, very mad,
and weary, and wretched—O, I would give the world
to die—but no!' she added, rising up and standing
apart, unaided, and alone, with unconquerable, and irresistible
majesty and self-possession—`No! I am not
mad!
'

-- 312 --

[figure description] Page 312.[end figure description]

`Harold,' said Loena, catching the awful spirit that
illuminated the countenance of Elvira, `the man Oscar
is living—the assured resemblance of thee, older, by
many years, scarred too, and—'

`Scarred!' cried Elvira, relaxing a little in her stature,
and trembling as she leaned forward, with glittering
eyes.

`Yes, Oscar, he who leaped overboard, at midnight,
on seeing the spirit of his beloved, his own Elvi—gracious
heaven! how blind I am of late—art thou that
woman? so proud! oh, thou art an enviable creature!
Yes, yes, thou art that cruel, majestick woman, that
wrecked the brain of the bravest and best of men—
sent his great heart a wanderer, among the bleak and
barren places of the earth. Oh, can it be, art thou truly
his dear, dear, dead Elvira?'

`Yes, I am she. He had reason to believe me dead—
reason enough, for I fell once, by his own hand.
But go on, go on, I do not believe thee, yet I do love
to hear thee talk of him, go on.'

`I will. Heaven! what miracles are these—dead,
dead, both of ye, and yet, but no matter. He saw thy
spirit, he says, but he never spoke of his brother, never!—
it is very strange.'

Harold interrupted her here, for a moment, and explained
that fact; (and the reader will recollect that
they were not known to each other at the time when
they met.)

`It was a very dark night, was it not?'

`It was—just before—and afterward—'said Harold.

`Well—the spirit passed before him, he says, and
beckoned to him, and he followed it, walking awhile
on the water, as it appeared to him. The vessel ploughed
away upon her course; but whether it was, that the
sudden shock of the cold water, as he plunged into it,
or that the loss of blood, which followed from a severe
blow on the temples, which he received from some
floating wood that passed him, (probably thrown over
from the vessel, in the alarm that followed,) restored
him to his senses, he knew not, but he could not have

-- 313 --

[figure description] Page 313.[end figure description]

been in the water long, a few minutes at most, when
the spectre vanished, and flashes of fire went over his
face, hot and scorching, as if the surges themselves
were lava. A preternatural terrour of death arose, at
the same moment, and he gasped, and gasped, in horrour
and distraction, until he found that he was sustained
by something, which he had grappled at, in his
delirium. The ship was still in sight; but the clouds
fell down, like a curtain, between her and him; and he
floated about, until, immediately after daylight, the
next morning, when he discovered a vessel, lying to,
at no great distance, with several boats out, fishing.
He was discovered, taken on board, and carried into
Dunkirk.'

`He has often described his feelings to me, until the
sweat stood upon my own forehead, as I listened to
him. At one time, he says, that he distinctly felt the
weight of a heavy, great hand, pressing upon his head,
and others plucking at his feet, in the water. He strove
against them both, and shrieked, and God heard his
shriek; and the next time that he looked upon the
ocean in quiet, it was a mirror of steel, stained with a
shadowy crimson, and undulating beneath the most
beautiful sky that mortal ever prayed to. It was all
round and about him; and the white winged ships,
like some swan-like creatures of the bottomless water,
and blue sky, were constantly emerging from the horizon,
coming out of the very air, it appeared, spreading
abroad their beautiful pinions, and sailing about, in
the wind and light. Ship after ship went by him, thus:
and all was so calm, so beautifully calm, with the wavy
gold, and crimson of sunset, flowing about the smooth
water, like coloured shadows, that every substantial
thing stood and moved like a portent, in its solidity and
blackness. But, why dwell on this? only because the
emotions which arose in his heart, the noblest—bless
me, Harold, how pale you look—surely no—I will not
believe it—but thy brother had the noblest heart, except
thine, there!—will that do? that ever beat. These
emotions were the beginning of his reform.

-- 314 --

[figure description] Page 314.[end figure description]

`He came to Paris. I saw him—it was a singular
adventure, and, some day or other, I will relate it—
but—'

`Nay, Loena, now if you please, there never can be
a better time,' said Harold, with a little seriousness.

`Very well: It was at the opera. The count was with
me. He had just been wounded in the sword arm, and
was, nevertheless, deliberately affronted by a young
officer, who did not know him, it was evident. The
count's eyes flashed fire, and I saw him place his hand
upon his sword.'

`I am wounded, sir,' said he, `or I would chastise
you upon the spot, for your insolence.'

`The other bit his lip, scornfully, and turned upon
his heel.

`Your name, sir,' said the count, at the same moment
handing him his card. The latter was enough—
the other turned pale, at first, and then red.

`Sir,' said he, haughtily, I mistook you. I beg your
pardon—but—(with a significant look, which made me
tremble in every joint,) you are so well known for an
accomplished swordsman, that I cannot make any satisfactory
apology to you. You will perceive why. I
shall see you to-morrow.

`As he said this, he was turning to depart, but was
arrested by some person, who lifted his head slowly
in the light, saying

“`Boy!”—and then stopping abruptly—

`The officer's lips quivered, and it appeared to me,
that he was struck with terrour;and he paused, as if
rooted to the spot.'

“`Go this instant, sir, and beg that gentleman's
pardon.”

`The officer obeyed, mechanically, faltered out a few
words, but was so blinded and choked with some sudden
passion; (for the moment he had commenced his
apology, he seemed suddenly to awake and wonder at
himself) that he turned, his cheeks glowing with shame,
and the tears gushing out of his eyes, and struck the
stranger to the earth.'

-- 315 --

[figure description] Page 315.[end figure description]

`That stranger was Oscar. He arose deliberately—
my eyes were rivetted upon him, I knew not why then,
but now I believe that it was his resemblance to
another.'

Harold smiled.

`The other ladies fainted, but I looked on. He arose
deliberately, followed the young man out, and, as we
heard the next day, disarmed him, broke his sword,
and sent him home, for the second time, humbled to
the earth. Nay, a gentleman, who was present, related
the affair to me. He said that the first thing which
struck him, was the coolness of manner, and the settled
darkness of eye, in Oscar, as he came upon guard.
Next, the astonishing quickness, precision, and entire
correspondence of his eye and hand. And finally, the
melancholy tone of his voice, as he stopped a moment,
before the deadly aspect of his young adversary, his
lids glittering with compassion, in the lamp light, beneath
which they fought, and said to himself, `nay,
nay, I will not kill him, it was a blow, to be sure, but
then, he is young, and very brave, and I must not kill,
no—no, no, it is a childish affair.'

`At that instant, the sword flew out of his adversary's
hand, and Oscar's point was against his breast.'

`The sword was broken, and the young officer, too
passionate to speak, departed in shame and terrour
from before him.'

`Had the sword been shattered in his hand by a thunderbolt,
it could not have been more unexpected and sudden
to us, or to him,' said the gentleman, who informed
me. `And I afterward found that Oscar had been set
upon, some evenings before, by several young men, in
a frolick, four of whom he had compelled to leap into
the Seine, and the fifth, whose life he had spared, was
this very officer. At any rate such was the story.'

`But when did you see him, dear Loena, when, tell
me?' said Elvira, faintly, as if just awaking from a
long trance.

`About six months since; but, stay, he was then
coming home, for the second time, and, I dare say, is
hereabout, at this very moment.'

-- 316 --

[figure description] Page 316.[end figure description]

`What mean you,' said Harold, `by the second
time?'

`Nothing more than this—that he is subject, or was,
until within the last two years, to fits of derangement,
in one of which, he says that he has reason to believe
that he visited the home of his childhood, for, when he
recovered, he found a dagger in his possession which
he distinctly recollected having left upon his table—
and—'

`By heaven,' cried Harold, kissing her red lips, in a
transport, `that was the only thing that troubled me
on earth: to have that explained, I would have gone
through fire and water; I was sure that my senses could
not deceive me; oh, I am rejoiced, indeed I am. Ah, Elvira,
look up, love—my friend I mean—this only was
wanted, to complete our happiness—we must all meet
again, we shall!—oh, do not weep.'

Previous section

Next section


Neal, John, 1793-1876 [1822], Logan: a family history, volume 2 (H. C. Carey & I. Lea, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf291v2].
Powered by PhiloLogic