Pand.

Well, I had rather than twice the worth of her, she had ne'er come here.

Bawd.

Fie, fie upon her; she is able to freeze the god Priapus, and undo a whole generation. We must either get her ravish'd, or be rid of her. When she should do for clients her fitment, and do me the kindness of our profession, she has me her quirks, her reasons, her master-reasons, her prayers, her knees; that she would make a puritan of the devil, if he should cheapen a kiss of her.

Boult.

'Faith I must ravish her, or she'll disfurnish us of all our cavaliers, and make all our swearers priests.

Pand.

Now, the pox upon her green-sickness for me!

Bawd.

'Faith, there's no way to be rid on't, but by the way to the pox. Here comes the lord Lysimachus, disguis'd^{9 note}

Boult.

We should have both lord and lown, if the peevish baggage would but give way to customers.

Lys.

How now? How a dozen of virginities^{1 note}
?

Bawd.

Now, the gods to-bless your honour^{2 note}!

Boult.

I am glad to see your honour in good health.

Lys.

You may so; 'tis the better for you that your resorters stand upon sound legs. How now, wholesome iniquity^{3 note}? Have you that a man may deal withal and defy the surgeon?

Bawd.

We have here one, sir, if she would— but there never came her like in Mitylene.

Lys.

If she'd do the deed of darkness, thou would'st say.

Bawd.

Your honour knows what 'tis to say, well enough.

Lys.

Well; call forth, call forth.

Boult.

For flesh and blood, sir, white and red, you shall see a rose; and she were a rose indeed, if she had but—

Lys.

What, pr'ythee?

Boult.
O, sir, I can be modest.

Lys.

That dignifies the renown of a bawd, no less than it gives a good report to a number to be chaste^{4 note}

Bawd.

Here comes that which grows to the stalk; —never pluck'd yet, I can assure you. Is she not a fair creature?

Lys.

'Faith she would serve after a long voyage at sea. Well, there's for you;—leave us.

Bawd.

I beseech your honour, give me leave: a word, and I'll have done presently.

Lys.

I beseech you, do.

Bawd.

First, I would have you note, this is an honourable man.

Mar.

I desire to find him so, that I may worthily note him.

Bawd.

Next, he's the governor of this country, and a man whom I am bound to.

Mar.

If he govern the country, you are bound to him indeed; but how honourable he is in that, I know not.

Bawd.

Pray you, without any more virginal fencing, will you use him kindly?9Q1334 He will line your apron with gold.

Mar.

What he will do graciously, I will thankfully receive.

Lys.

Have you done?

Bawd.

My lord, she's not pac'd yet^{5 note}; you must take some pains to work her to your manage. Come, we will leave his honour and her together^{6 note}.

Lys.

Go thy ways.—Now, pretty one, how long have you been at this trade?

Mar.

What trade, sir?

Lys.

What I cannot name but I shall offend^{7 note}
.

Mar.

I cannot be offended with my trade. Please you to name it.

Lys.

How long have you been of this profession?

Mar.

Ever since I can remember.

Lys.

Did you go to it so young? Were you a gamester at five, or at seven^{8 note}

?

Mar.

Earlier too, sir, if now I be one.

Lys.

Why, the house you dwell in proclaims you to be a creature of sale.

Mar.

Do you know this house to be a place of such resort, and will come into it? I hear say, you are of honourable parts, and are the governor of this place.

Lys.

Why, hath your principal made known unto you who I am?

Mar.

Who is my principal?

Lys.

Why your herb-woman; she that sets seeds and roots of shame and iniquity. O, you have heard something of my power, and so stand aloof for more serious wooing. But I protest to thee, pretty one, my authority shall not see thee, or else, look friendly upon thee. Come, bring me to some private place. Come, come.

Mar.
If you were born to honour, shew it now^{9 note}

Lys,

How's this? how's this?—Some more;—be sage^{1 note}.

Mar.
For me, that am a maid, though most ungentle
Fortune have plac'd me in this lothsome stie,
Where since I came, diseases have been sold
Dearer than physick,—O that the good gods
Would set me free from this unhallow'd place,
Though they did change me to the meanest bird
That flies i'the purer air!

Lys.
I did not think
Thou could'st have spoke so well; ne'er dream'd thou could'st.
Had I brought hither a corrupted mind,

Thy speech had alter'd it. Hold, here's gold for thee:
Persever in that clear way thou goest^{2 note}

Mar
The good gods preserve you!

Lys.
For me, be you thoughten
That I came with no ill intent; for to me
The very doors and windows savour vilely.
Fare thee well. Thou art a piece of virtue^{3 note}

, and
I doubt not but thy training hath been noble.
Hold; here's more gold for thee.
A curse upon him, die he like a thief,
That robs thee of thy goodness! If thou hear'st
From me, it shall be for thy good. [As Lysimachus is putting up his purse, Boult enters.

Boult.
I beseech your honour, one piece for me.

Lys.
Avaunt, thou damned door-keeper!
Your house, but for this virgin that doth prop it,
Would sink and overwhelm you. Away. [Exit.

Boult.

How's this? We must take another course with you. If your peevish chastity, which is not worth a breakfast in the cheapest country under the cope^{4 note}, shall undo a whole houshold, let me be gelded like a spaniel. Come your ways.

Mar.

Whither would you have me?

Boult.

I must have your maidenhead taken off, or the common hangman shall execute it. Come your way. We'll have no more gentlemen driven away. Come your ways, I say.

Bawd.

How now! what's the matter?

Boult.

Worse and worse, mistress; she has here spoken holy words to the lord Lysimachus.

Bawd.

O abominable!

Boult.

She makes our profession as it were to stink afore the face of the gods^{5 note}


.

Bawd.

Marry, hang her up for ever!

Boult.

The nobleman would have dealt with her like a nobleman, and she sent him away as cold as a snow-ball; saying his prayers too.

Bawd.

Boult, take her away; use her at thy pleasure: crack the glass of her virginity, and make the rest malleable^{6 note}.

Boult.

An if she were a thornier piece of ground than she is, she shall be ploughed.

Mar.

Hark, hark, ye gods!

Bawd.

She conjures: away with her. Would she had never come within my doors! Marry hang you! She's born to undo us. Will you not go the way of

women-kind? Marry come up, my dish of chastity with rosemary and bays^{7 note}!

Boult.

Come, mistress; come your way with me.

Mar.

Whither would you have me?

Boult.

To take from you the jewel you hold so dear.

Mar.

Pr'ythee, tell me one thing first.

Boult.

Come now, your one thing* ^note


?

Mar.

What canst thou wish thine enemy to be?

Boult.

Why, I could wish him to be my master, or rather, my mistress.

Mar.
Neither of these are yet so bad as thou art,
Since they do better thee in their command.
Thou hold'st a place, for which the pained'st fiend
Of hell would not in reputation change:
Thou art the damned door-keeper to every
Coyst'rel that comes enquiring for his tib^{8 note}
;
To the cholerick fisting of every rogue
Thy ear is liable; thy food is such
As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs.

Boult.

What would you have me do? go to the wars, would you? where a man may serve seven years for the loss of a leg, and have not money enough in the end to buy him a wooden one?

Mar.
Do any thing but this thou doest. Empty
Old receptacles, or common sewers of filth;
Serve by indenture to the common hangman;
Any of these ways are better yet than this:
For what thou professest, a baboon, could he
Speak, would own a name too dear^{9 note}
. That the gods
Would safely from this place deliver me!
Here, here's gold for thee.
If that thy master would gain aught by me,
Proclaim that I can sing, weave, sew, and dance,
With other virtues, which I'll keep from boast;
And I will undertake all these to teach.
I doubt not but this populous city will
Yield many scholars^{1 note}
.

Boult.
But can you teach all this you speak of?

Mar.
Prove that I cannot, take me home again,
And prostitute me to the basest groom
That doth frequent your house.

Boult.

Well, I will see what I can do for thee: if I can place thee, I will.

Mar.

But amongst honest women?

Boult.

'Faith, my acquaintance lies little amongst them. But since my master and mistress have bought you, there's no going but by their consent: therefore I will make them acquainted with your purpose, and I doubt not but I shall find them tractable enough. Come, I'll do for thee what I can; come your ways.

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