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UNDER the existing constitution, the patronage of
the governor was considerable. This very thing which
at first view would seem to be a ground of his security,
was the cause of much uneasiness, and constant opposition
to his administration. For not in one case out of
ten did he make an appointment, but some concerned became
enemies. The one appointed was an enemy because
his appointment was not as good as he had expected;
and the others of the community were dissatisfied,
because he got any appointment at all. For there was
not one who did not think himself better entitled, at all
events, better qualified. Some were vexed because they
had not been chosen governor themselves, and no appointment
would have satisfied them. There was a weaver
amongst these who had pretensions to the chair, and raised
a clamour against the constitution, thinking that in
the confusion that would ensue, things being once
more put into hotch-pot, he might renew his chance for
the office of chief magistrate; that having failed to be
put in nomination under existing circumstances he might
have better luck under a new arrangement. A second
chance he would have at all events, and it might be more
favourable in the result; inasmuch as the very bustle he
was making in the affair of the new constitution, would
bring him into great notice, and increase his popularity,
there being now an indifferent mass of citizens who were
dissentients from the same motives with himself, and
might promise themselves something from the confusion
of affairs. But the proposition of a new constitution, as
being less alarming to the bulk, was suggested under the
idea of an amendment. For the revolutions in France
about this time had created some alarm, at the idea of
changing rapidly all at once from one constitution to another.
But who was there who could have any reasonable
apprehensions of risk or danger from an amendment?
But it being thought adviseable to specify some amendments
in order the better to bring about a convention,
there was no one that had not the sagacity to find out
some things that might be put on a better footing than
they had been. As for instance; the weaver seemed

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to think that the price of weaving ought to be raised; and
that no customer should hereafter find fault with the
work done; and that he should pay for it as soon as it
was done.

All this seemed reasonable, especially as the cordwainer,
and the brick-layer could easily see that in the
course of the deliberation, it would naturally take a wider
range, and introduce a clause providing for them also.
For though not by name in the first instance; yet all occupations
would be virtually included and enjoy the advantage
of the like reform It had become a cry pretty
much prevailing, that the sitting of the people should be
permanent: and the constitution revolutionary; so that
whenever, and wherever, the shoe was found to pinch
it might be altered.

Amongst the malcontents with the constitution, it was
not a little unexpected by the governor, to find Teague
Oregan his late protegee and associate in his peregrinations.
For notwithstanding he had, in the first instance,
been appointed cryer of the court, and in the next, advanced
to the grade of auctioneer, he was dissatisfied because
he had not been made chief justice, or advanced
to that of secretary of state. For these reasons he was
amongst the loudest for a reform, and proposed an assembling
of the whole people, once more to fix upon a
new constitution. The governor conceiving himself to
have some kind of right to controul and regulate the
ambition of his bogtrotter, took an opportunity to expostulate
with him on the danger and inexpediency of
the proposition at this time; and more particularly on the
indelicacy of persons newly come into the country, taking
upon them to be the first to propose a revision of
that frame of government, which they had found prepared
for them, and what on becoming citizens, they were
under an implied obligation to support.

Teague, said he, you cannot but recollect the inconsiderable
station from which I originally advanced you;
being a redemptioner on board a ship from Cork in Ireland.
In fact though you called yourself a redemptioner
you were a bound servant for years, and in such capacity
you were under an obligation to serve me, nevertheless
I treated you as a redemptioner, paid the money for you,
the passage money, and told you that as soon as you had
served me to the amount of it at the yearly hiring of a
labouring person, I would give you your liberty. The

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business that I set you about might be called drudgery,
because you were fit for nothing else; but did I not as
soon as I conveniently could, endeavour to amend your
station, by making you my body servant, and taking you
with me almost in the light of a companion in my rambles?
In the course of these, in proportion as I saw an
opening, I was disposed to advance you still more, and
to bring you forward. Was it my fault if in these
prospects which seemed to be occasionally flattering,
there were some disappointments? You know well what
happened from first to last when being made a judge
you kicked an associate off the bench.

Have I not done as much for you as I well could do,
since coming to this new country, and my advance
to the chair of government? Did I not make you a
crier of the court, and are you not now an auctioneer?
What reason had you to expect that I should make you
a chief justice, even though you did read law a while, and
had been upon the bench in another place? This very
circumstance if no other, was a reason against it; for
it gave me an opportunity of knowing that you were not
fit for it. You have not the patience of a judge even if you
had all other qualifications. I could not make you secretary,
for you cannot write; and though you might act
by deputy, yet it is but an aukward thing for a man to
be secretary, which imports by the usage of the term,
some ability to minute matters, and not to be able to
write his own name. It is impossible for me not to
know that whatever you and the others of you who call
out for a new constitution are moved not by your opinion
of defects visible in the old, but because you think a new
may be more favourable to your particular pretensions.
But setting aside all that could be said on this alleged
point of private views on your part and theirs, is there
not some decency to be observed on our part in coming
into this country, in proposing innovations? Can a bog-trotter
just from Ireland like you be supposed to be cognizant
of the genius of the people sufficiently to form a
constitution for them? Is it the most delicate thing in
the world to undertake to find fault with that which they
have formed? I feel it on my part a matter of peculiar
delicacy to sport an opinion. It hurts me even that you
lately in my train, should cavil against it, least it should
be supposed to be at my prompting. Though there can
be no ground of presumption that I who have been

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complimented with the government, could cabal to overturn
it. Yet one cannot tell what those who are the advocates
of what they call a reform may do, or say in order
to acquire weight to their machinations. They may pretend,
that I who hold an office under the constitution
and am sworn to support it, do not approve of it. They
will allege in proof of this, my having an officer who is
foremost in his vociferation for a change. You do not
consider, Teague, where this may end. The termination
in France we have all seen; it was the guillotine.

What is de guillotine? said Teague. It is, Said the governor,
a thing in the shape of a crowbar or a harrow
with teeth of a foot long, which they draw over a man's
back, and scratch him as you would the earth in: which
seed is sown.

The truth is, the governor did not himself know precisely
the form of this instrument, nor the manner of
its operation; but it was necessary to seem to know,
and to give a description, as he had alluded to it.

It is, continued he, a horrible instrument; and the meddler
with constitutions, is in danger of coming under it.
A regular tenor of things is the safest condition. In order
to be safe from the irons of a saw-mill, let the unskilful
beware of meddling with the wheels. In the
same manner I may say that the prudent man will
keep aloof at these times, from the danger of unseasonably
intruding himself as a mender of constitutions —
Agreeably to this is the distich of the poet,


“Ah me, what perils do environ,
The man that meddles with cold iron.”
You enjoy the lucrative office of an auctioneer, and having
seen a great deal of the world, ought to have begun
to learn that those who advise, have not always the interest
of those whom they advise, in view. May it not be
in order to serve themselves, and perhaps in the turn of
affairs to get your office, that persons flatter your vanity
as whom it becomes to put yourself at the head of a reform
in the state? I would not be willing to take an oath
that even some of your own countrymen may not have
sinister ends in view, in putting you upon this project.—
For that you are propelled, I am strongly inclined to
think as I have always found you yourself disposed to be
contented with your station, except in cases where the

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mistaken notions of others working upon your inexperience
and mine, have misled our understandings.

These reasonings had weight with the bogtrotter, and
more especially that part of the expostulation which respected
the danger of the guillotine; for though the mode
of its use was not minutely explained, yet the impression
made, was that of a cutting, or tearing instrument, in either
case, painful to the patient. But though intimidated,
and of himself disposed to cease his opposition to the
constitution, and his clamour for a reform, yet his countrymen
out of doors, and others of the multitude desirous
of a change, still continued active at vendues, particularly,
to urge the bogtrotter to a perseverance in his endeavours
in favour of what they called liberty.

There was no station that could put him so much in
the way of being wrought upon by the designing, as that
of auctioneer. For it subjected him to flattery, giving
an opportunity to compliment the strength of his voice,
his vein of humour, which term they could give to his
coarse jokes, and call it wit. The bottle occasionally
going about, as is the custom in the country, at using
which he was no slouch, drew from the croud also much
applause; for in proportion as the cryer was pleased, he
put about the bottle, and it came in the way of the man
that had given the last bid. It was indeed a matter of
complaint against him by those who had articles to sell
that he would suspend the hammer; or as it was a mallet
that he used, he would stand with it lifted up until
some one had finished what he had to say about the constitution.
And instead of announcing the name of the article
put up, and describing its utility, expatiating on its value,
he would forget himself, and instead of a good thing,
this, or that, he would call out, an excellent constitution;
not at half its value; who bids more, another cent buys
the whistle. Three times.

There were petitions for removal on this ground. But
what could the governor do? The mania had become
general. Not an individual that was not affected with
the rage of constitution making: not an occupation in
the exercise of which something relative to amending at
least, the constitution, did not break out in the language
that was used. It was not alone in the case of the auctioneer,
that such a derangement as it might be called,
had begun to shew itself; but with persons in almost

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every other employment. The common mechanic, and
labourer were led away both in speaking and acting, with
an enthusiasm for a change of constitution.

“I saw a smith stand with his hammer thus:

The whilst his iron did on the anvil cool.

With open mouth swallowing,” the news about a
change of constitution.

A tailor was asked what he was now making? He
said a suit of constitution.

A tinker what he was now mending? He said the
constitution.

All that could write had drawn up forms; all that
could not write, had meditated forms, and were reciting
them to their neighbours. It was amusing to attend to
the various suggestions of the fancy of these improvisatori;
or extempore makers of constitutions. Some proposed
for an article, the having a provision to fatten hogs
without corn; and it was in vain to explain to them that
this did not depend upon the constitution of the government;
but on that of the hog. Some wanted chickens
hatched without eggs: others, harvests raised without
the trouble of sewing seed. All were for an amelioration
of things in the natural or moral world.

A groupe had got together at a distillery; and were
endeavouring to put into words, what they would wish
with regard to the article of extracting more whiskey
out of a bushel of grain. But they were not all of them
in a capacity to articulate the article just then, and so
it fell through for that time.

In order to acquire knowledge on the subject of constitutions,
where any one entertained a suspicion that he
had not sufficient information, which was a rare case,
he applied himself to study the hiding places, or edifices
of beasts and birds. For instinct was surer than
reason. One man of very honest investigation, was stung
in the face as he was inspecting a wasps' nest, and his face
became much swollen, and was kept in countenance only
by another who was in something of the same plight,
from a hive of bees into which he had thrust his nose.
That republic being much celebrated, it was thought
the purest model that could be studied. A diligent
observer of the flight of wild geese, and of the manner
in which one stands sentry for the flock when
they alight to feed, drew thence what he thought a good

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lesson towards qualifying him for the task of new modeling
a frame of government. But the play upon the
word goose which this naturally drew upon him, threw
it into ridicule. For it was observed that he must be a
goose who would think of modeling a constitution after
geese. By others it was called a wild goose chase that
he was upon, and little attention was paid to his draught.