[figure description] Page 070.[end figure description]

RETURNING to his lodging, he
could not help reflecting by the way,
that probably poor Teague, mortified by
repeated di&longs;appointments, in going to
Congre&longs;s, being &longs;uffered to preach, or be
a member of the Philo&longs;ophical Society;
and what might afflict him &longs;till more, the
not marrying the rich ho&longs;te&longs;s, who had
made him overtures, might, in his de&longs;pair
of ever coming forward in any re&longs;pectable
capacity in life, have &longs;u&longs;pended him&longs;elf
from a beam, or plunged into the river,
and have put an end to his exi&longs;tence;
which, &longs;hould it be the ca&longs;e, being in
&longs;ome mea&longs;ure acce&longs;&longs;ary to this cata&longs;trophe
of the bog-trotter, by di&longs;&longs;uading from the&longs;e
&longs;everal preten&longs;ions, he could not acquit

[figure description] Page 071.[end figure description]

him&longs;elf of guilt; at all events, he would
feel great pain and &longs;orrow.

Such were his reflections for a great
part of this day; and had thought of putting
an adverti&longs;ement in the paper, to
know if any dead body had been lately
di&longs;covered; or inqui&longs;ition held on a young
man, with red hair, and a long leg, who
had been mi&longs;&longs;ing &longs;ome days, and was supposed
to have hung or drowned him&longs;elf.
But in the evening, meditating thus, mention
being made by &longs;ome of the lodgers,
of going to hear the annual oration, delivered
before the Philo&longs;ophical Society,
by a member; it &longs;truck his mind, that
po&longs;&longs;ibly Teague, falling in with &longs;ome of
this body, had been induced by them to
take a &longs;eat, and might be pre&longs;ent on that
occa&longs;ion. Not he&longs;itating, therefore, he
&longs;econded the propo&longs;al of going; and offered
to be of the party.

Coming to the hall, the philo&longs;ophers
were &longs;eated; but a black member &longs;at with
a taper before him, who, it &longs;eems, was
to deliver the oration.

The fact was this; A gentleman of Maryland
of the name of Gorum, had &longs;ent
to the &longs;ociety, &longs;ome time before, a curiosity
found by one of his negroes in the

[figure description] Page 072.[end figure description]

mud of Wye river, on the banks of which
his &longs;eat was. It appeared to be a &longs;tone,
with a cavity &longs;ufficient to receive a man's
foot, and was adjudged by the &longs;ociety to
be an Indian's petrified mocca&longs;on. The
&longs;ingularity of the di&longs;covery, well intitling
the gentleman to a &longs;eat, he was invited;
but &longs;ending his compliments, he gave
them to under&longs;tand, that Cuff, (for that
was the name of the negro) was more intitled
to that honour than he was, being
the per&longs;on who had found the curio&longs;ity;
and as he made it a point to do his &longs;laves
ju&longs;tice in any perqui&longs;ite of their own, he
could not think of robbing one, on this occasion
of any honour, to which he might
be introduced by this di&longs;covery.

The &longs;ociety approved his hone&longs;ty, and
fair dealing; and by unanimous ballot,
admitted the negro; who, having been a
member &longs;ome time, had been appointed,
to pronounce the annual oration. Cuff, a
good deal di&longs;concerted in hearing of the
ta&longs;k impo&longs;ed upon him, had applied to
his ma&longs;ter to know what to &longs;ay. Colonel
Gorum attending a good deal to literary
matters, had heard of an oration delivered
before the &longs;ociety, the object of which was
to prove that the Africans had been once

[figure description] Page 073.[end figure description]

white, had &longs;harp no&longs;es, and long hair;
but that by living in &longs;un-burnt climates,
the &longs;kin had changed colour, the hair become
frizzled, and in the cour&longs;e of generation,
the imagination of the mother, presenting
obtu&longs;e objects, had produced an offspring
with flat no&longs;es. He therefore gave
Cuff to under&longs;tand, that it would be doing
no more than ju&longs;tice to his countrymen, for
he was a Guinea negro, if he &longs;hould avail
him&longs;elf of this occa&longs;ion to prove that men
were all once black, and that by living in
&longs;nowy countries, and being bleached by
the weather, the &longs;kin had gradually become
white, and the hair moi&longs;t and long, and
the imagination pre&longs;enting prominent objects
to the mothers, or the fathers differing
among them&longs;elves, and pulling one another
by this part, had given the long and
pointed no&longs;e.

Cuff, thus prepared, &longs;et out; having arrived,
and being on this occa&longs;ion to harangue,
began as follows:

The Oration.

Massa &longs;hentiman; I be ca&longs;h crab in de
Wye riva: found ting in de mud; tone,
big a man's foot: hols like to he; fetch

[figure description] Page 074.[end figure description]

Ma&longs;&longs;a: Ma&longs;&longs;a &longs;ay, it be de Indian moccason.—
O! fat de call it; all tone. He &longs;ay,
you be a fila&longs;afa, Cuff: I &longs;ay, O no, Massa;
you be de fila&longs;afa. Wel; two tree
monts afta, Ma&longs;&longs;a call me, and &longs;ay, You
be a fila&longs;afa, Cuff, fo' &longs;artan: Getta ready,
and go dis city, and make grate peech for
&longs;hentima fila&longs;afa. I &longs;ay, Fat &longs;ay? Ma&longs;&longs;a:
Ma&longs;&longs;a &longs;ay, &longs;omebody &longs;ay, dat de fir&longs;t man
was de &longs;ite man; but you &longs;ay, dat de fir&longs;t
man was de black a-man. Vel, I &longs;et out
out: come along: Ma&longs;&longs;a gi me pa&longs;s. Some
&longs;ay, where you go, Cuff? I &longs;ay, dis city, be
a fila&longs;afa. O no, Cuff, you be no filasafa:
call me fool, gi me kick i'de backside;
fall down, get up again, and come
to dis city.

Now, &longs;hentima, I &longs;ay, dat de fir&longs;t man
was de black a man, and de fir&longs;t woman
de black a woman; an get two tree children;
de rain va&longs;ha de&longs;e, an de &longs;now
pleach, an de coula come brown, yella,
coppa coula, and, at de la&longs;t, quite fite;
an de hair long; an da fal out vid van anoda;
and van ca&longs;h by de no&longs;e, an pull;
&longs;o de no&longs;e come lang, &longs;harp no&longs;e.

Now I go home, Ma&longs;&longs;a &longs;hentima; an
tel grate Ma&longs;&longs;a, dat make peech, an ibedy
body vas da; an den Cuff fin a more

[figure description] Page 075.[end figure description]

tings—cabs, oy&longs;ta, cat-fi&longs;h, bones, tones,
ibedy ting; &longs;en to you, &longs;hentima.

The oration being ended, the Society
could do no le&longs;s than appoint a committee
to wait on Mr. Cuff, and reque&longs;t a copy
of his oration, that it might be publi&longs;hed.

But the Captain, in the mean time, had
examined, with great attention, the whole
audience; but could not di&longs;cover Teague.
Departing, therefore, with the re&longs;t, his
thoughts recurred to his fir&longs;t idea, viz.
that the unfortunate creature had committed
&longs;uicide. Drawing up, therefore, an
adverti&longs;ement, he &longs;ent it to a daily paper;
but, though it appeared next morning,
and the day elap&longs;ed, there was no word of
Teague.

[figure description] Page 076.[end figure description]

THERE is no fact that has proved
more &longs;tubborn than the diver&longs;ity of
the human &longs;pecies; e&longs;pecially that great
extreme of diver&longs;ity in the natives of Africa.
How the de&longs;cendants of Adam and
Eve, both good looking people, &longs;hould
ever come to be a vile negro, or even a
mulatto man or woman, is puzzling.

Some have conjectured, that a black
complexion, frizzled hair, a flat no&longs;e, and
bandy legs, were the mark &longs;et on Cain,
for the murder of his brother Abel. But,
as the deluge drowned the whole world,
and only one family was &longs;aved, the blacks
mu&longs;t have all peri&longs;hed; like the Mammoth,
who&longs;e bones are found on the
Ohio, and other places, which was too big
for Noah to get into the ark.

Some &longs;uppo&longs;e, that it was the cur&longs;e pronounced
upon Canaan, the &longs;on of Noah,
for looking at his father's nakedne&longs;s. They
got rid by this means of the difficulty of

[figure description] Page 077.[end figure description]

the flood; but by Mo&longs;es' own account,
the Canaanites were the de&longs;cendents of
Canaan; and we do not hear of them being
negroes; which, had it been the ca&longs;e,
we cannot doubt would have been laid hold
of by the I&longs;raelites, as a circum&longs;tance to
ju&longs;tify their extirpating, or making &longs;laves
of them.

Lord Kames, in his Sketches of the History
of Man, &longs;olves the difficulty, by supposing,
that, at the building of Babel,
there was a confu&longs;ion of complexions, as
well as languages. But, be&longs;ides that it is
not to be &longs;uppo&longs;ed, that the hi&longs;torian would
pa&longs;s over &longs;o material a circum&longs;tance, without
particularly mentioning it, it is introducing
a miracle, which we are not warranted
in doing, unle&longs;s it had been expressly
laid down to have been wrought.

The la&longs;t theory, has been that of accounting
for the change, from the climate,
and accident of wind and weather;
calling in aid, in the mean time, the imagination
of the mothers. This does not appear
altogether &longs;atisfactory. At lea&longs;t, there
are tho&longs;e who would not be aver&longs;e to hear
&longs;ome other &longs;olution of the difficulty. I
have thought of one, which I would &longs;ugge&longs;t
with great diffidence; the authors of tho&longs;e

[figure description] Page 078.[end figure description]

before me being great men, and their hypothesis
not lightly overthrown.

I am of opinion that Adam was a tall,
&longs;traight limbed, red haired man, with a fair
complexion, blue eyes, and an aquiline
no&longs;e; and that Eve was a negro woman.

For what nece&longs;&longs;ity to make them both
of the &longs;ame colour, feature, and form,
when there is beauty in variety. Do not
you &longs;ee in a tulip, one leaf blue, and another
white, and &longs;ometimes the &longs;ame leaf
white and red?

As God made Adam in his own likeness,
&longs;o it is to be &longs;uppo&longs;ed, that Adam
begat &longs;ome in his; and the&longs;e were red
haired, fair complexioned, blue eyed, proportionably
featured boys and girls; while,
on the other hand, &longs;ome took after the
mother, and became negro men and women.
From a mixture of complexion, the
offspring, at other times, might be a &longs;hade
darker, in one ca&longs;e, than the father; and
a &longs;hade lighter, in another ca&longs;e, than the
mother; and hence, a diver&longs;ifyed progeny,
with a variety of features; from the
bottle-no&longs;e to the mire-&longs;nipe; which is that
of the people in the we&longs;t of Ireland; and
from the auburn of the Cor&longs;ican hair, to
the golden locks of the Caledonian

[figure description] Page 079.[end figure description]

beauty; and from the black eye, to the hazle
and the grey.

It may be a&longs;ked, How at the flood?
when Noah, his wife, his three &longs;ons, and
their wives, eight per&longs;ons, only were saved?
It is but giving &longs;ome of the &longs;ons negro
wenches for their wives, and you have the
matter all right.

[figure description] Page 080.[end figure description]

AS I have &longs;aid, the day pa&longs;&longs;ed over, and
there was no word of Teague. In
the evening, as it was u&longs;ual with the gentlemen
at the Indian Queen, to go to &longs;ome
place for the amu&longs;ement of an hour or
two; mention being made of a celebrated
preacher, a Univer&longs;ali&longs;t, as he was called;
that is, one who preaches the doctrine of
univer&longs;al &longs;alvation; it was propo&longs;ed to go
to hear him, as he was to hold forth that
evening. The Captain readily con&longs;ented;
and it &longs;truck him, that, as this was a new
fangled doctrine, and the preacher had
made a great noi&longs;e; and as it was a
doctrine that, con&longs;cious of a good deal of
fornication, would naturally plea&longs;e Teague,
it was not impo&longs;&longs;ible but the Iri&longs;hman
might have become a di&longs;ciple of this reformist,
and be at his conventicle.

Coming in among&longs;t the crowd, and obtaining
&longs;eats, they &longs;aw the preacher a&longs;cend
the pulpit, and, after the preliminary

[figure description] Page 081.[end figure description]

exercise of p&longs;alms and prayer, take a text,
and begin his &longs;ermon.

His text was taken from one of tho&longs;e
pa&longs;&longs;ages of &longs;cripture, which &longs;peaks of “the
lion lying down with the kid, and the tyger
with the lamb;” which have been interpreted
of the Millenium; but were applied
by him, to that period, when, as
the &longs;ea &longs;hall give up her dead, &longs;o hell &longs;hall
give up her damned; and the devil himself
&longs;hall come to lick &longs;alt out of the hand
of an angel.

Enlarging on this doctrine, and supporting
it with a variety of proofs from
&longs;cripture, and arguments from rea&longs;on, he
&longs;eemed to have brought the matter to a
point; an&longs;wering all objections, and closing
in with the hearer. At this &longs;tage, u&longs;ing
that figure of oratory, which is u&longs;ual in
the pulpit, of a&longs;king que&longs;tions, and pressing
for an an&longs;wer, but expecting none;
he would &longs;ay, Is not this conclu&longs;ive? Is it
not evident? Is there any here can advance
an argument again&longs;t it? Will any of you
&longs;peak—I pau&longs;e for an an&longs;wer?

Mr. M`Donald, in the mean time, (the
Scotch gentleman; who happened to be
there,) thinking him really &longs;erious, and
that he wanted an an&longs;wer; or taking

[figure description] Page 082.[end figure description]

advantage of the pau&longs;e, and the interrogation,
to &longs;peak his mind, leaning over the
front of a back &longs;eat, made reply:

Why, &longs;aid he, I like the doctrine well
enough, and ha' na' di&longs;po&longs;ition to o'erthrow
it. I dinna muckle care if there
ware na' hell ava. If ye could make that
out, I wad rather hear it, than o' being
&longs;moaked twa' or three thou&longs;and years in
the devil's nuke, or &longs;inged wi' his burnt
brim&longs;tone, even if we &longs;hould get out afterwards.
Ye need na' put your&longs;el in a
pa&longs;&longs;ion, or be flee'd that you'll no get proselytes;
for I &longs;hall warrant you, as many
every night as ye can weel &longs;tow awa i' the
conventicle.

The preacher giving thanks to God for
the &longs;ucce&longs;s in his mini&longs;try, in the remarkable
conver&longs;ion of the man who &longs;poke, the
Scotch gentleman &longs;aid again; Ye need
na ca' it a conver&longs;ion; for I ha' been o'
the &longs;ame opinion a' my life; that it was a
&longs;are thing to bide the kiln of hell, and
they wad de&longs;erve muckle thanks wha could
e&longs;tabli&longs;h that we &longs;hould na' &longs;tay long in it,
or that there was na' &longs;uch place ava.

The preacher commenting upon this,
ob&longs;erved that &longs;ome were orthodox from
their birth, like Jeremiah, who was

[figure description] Page 083.[end figure description]

sanctified in his mother's womb; but others
were hardly brought to the truth, with
much teaching and in&longs;truction. That the
pre&longs;ent was a happy in&longs;tance of one who
was in the right way from his very early
years.

The Captain in the mean time, had been
thinking of the doctrine; and thought it
rea&longs;onable to &longs;uppo&longs;e, that the Almighty
might relieve after &longs;ome time, and let the
damned devils go. Ju&longs;t as with him&longs;elf at
pre&longs;ent in the ca&longs;e of Teague; if he had
got his hands on the bog-trotter, he could
not help being very angry, and would be
di&longs;po&longs;ed to puni&longs;h him with great &longs;everity;
but after &longs;ome time he knew his pa&longs;&longs;ion
would &longs;ub&longs;ide, and he would forget his
delinquencies.

Teague in this manner running in his
head, as the people, after &longs;ome epilogue of
prayer and benediction, being di&longs;mi&longs;&longs;ed,
were retiring, he got up, and rai&longs;ing his
voice, begged the audience to detain a
little. — Good people, &longs;aid he, if any of
you &longs;hould come acro&longs;s a young man, a
&longs;ervant of mine, of the name of Teague
O'Regan, I &longs;hall thank you to &longs;end me notice
to the Indian Queen, where I lodge.
And, according to the adverti&longs;ement in

[figure description] Page 084.[end figure description]

this day's paper, I will give two dollars
reward.

Thinking him deranged in his brain,
they proceeded, and took no notice of the
proclamation.

[figure description] Page 085.[end figure description]

IN the infancy of Chri&longs;tianity it was
thought a hard matter to get to heaven;
and that when once in hell, there
was no geting out. A certain father of
the church, of the name of Origen, was
the fir&longs;t to be more liberal in his sentiments,
and thought, that after a certain
period, there would be a jail-delivery of
the damned. I do not know that he went
&longs;o far as to let the devils them&longs;elves out
upon a furlough; but at the pre&longs;ent time,
we all know very well, that the time will
come, when they will be out all together;
at lea&longs;t the univer&longs;ali&longs;ts tell us this, and
prove it.

The doctrine was received in &longs;ome part
by the early councils; but in other parts
rejected. The matter was compounded
by e&longs;tabli&longs;hing a purgatory; for not consenting
to liberate from hell, in order to

[figure description] Page 086.[end figure description]

&longs;atisfy the advocates of a temporary punishment,
they fixed up a middle place,
where all the advantages of penal purgation
could be enjoyed, without the necessity
of contradicting the eternity of hell
torments.

Indeed under the catholic church, the
&longs;trait gate, and the narrow way, and the
many called, and few cho&longs;en, was a good deal
laid a&longs;ide, and the road made pretty plain
by indulgencies and ab&longs;olutions. But at
the reformation, the matter was brought
back to its old bed again, and the cry of
their being but a remnant &longs;aved, was raised
in every pulpit. There has been &longs;ome
relaxation of late years with almo&longs;t every
&longs;ect of Prote&longs;tants; and there is not ju&longs;t
&longs;uch a fury of tumbling great crowds into
the tolbooth, as there was in the days of
John Knox, and the framers of the Westminster
confe&longs;&longs;ion of faith, and catechi&longs;ms.
Dr. Bellamy, a New-England divine, &longs;ome
years ago, &longs;tated in his pamphlet, that the
damned would be to the &longs;aved, as the malefactors
of a country to hone&longs;t people that
came to an untimely end by jail or gibbet.
Some now preach boldly, not perhaps a
total exemption, from future puni&longs;hment,
but a final re&longs;toration from it; &longs;o that the

[figure description] Page 087.[end figure description]

matter is now brought nearly to what it
was in the days of Origen. I do not know
that I would be of opinion with the
Scotch gentleman, and wi&longs;h the matter
carried farther, e&longs;tabli&longs;hing that there is
no hell at all; becau&longs;e if the thing &longs;hould
take a turn, it might go to the other extreme,
and be all hell; &longs;o that none &longs;hould
be &longs;aved; and in&longs;tead of univer&longs;al salvation,
we &longs;hould then have the doctrine of
the damnation of the whole, bodily.

[figure description] Page 088.[end figure description]

THE next day, revolving every thing
in his mind, it occurred to the Captain,
that the Iri&longs;hman might have gone
out of town, hearing of an election at a
di&longs;trict, and have been elected to Congre&longs;s.
As that body was then &longs;itting, he thought
it could be no great trouble to go to the
hou&longs;e, and ca&longs;t an eye from the gallery,
and &longs;ee if the raggamuffin had got there.
There was one that had a little of the
brogue of Teague upon his tongue, but
nothing of his phy&longs;iognomy; others had a
good deal of his manner; but there was
none that came ab&longs;olutely up to the physic
of his per&longs;on.

However, being here, the Captain tho't
it not ami&longs;s to li&longs;ten a while to the debates
upon the carpet. A certain bill was
depending, and made, it &longs;eems, the order
of the day. Mr. Cogan being on the floor,
&longs;poke:—Sir, &longs;aid he, addre&longs;&longs;ing him&longs;elf to
the chair, the bill in contemplation, is, in

[figure description] Page 089.[end figure description]

my opinion, of a dangerous tendency. I
will venture to foretel, that, if it goes into
a law, the cows will have fewer calves,
and the &longs;heep le&longs;s wool; hens will lay
fewer eggs, and cocks forget to crow day-light.
The hor&longs;es will be wor&longs;e &longs;hod, and
&longs;tumble more; our watches go too &longs;low;
corns grow upon our toes; young women
have the &longs;tomach ach; old men the gout;
and middle aged per&longs;ons fainting fits. The
larks will fall dead in the field; the frogs
croak till they bur&longs;t their bags; and the
leaves of the trees fall before the autumn.
Snow will be found in the heat of harve&longs;t,
and dog days in winter. The rivers will
revert; and the &longs;hadows fall to the ea&longs;t in
the morning. The moon will be eclip&longs;ed;
and the equinoxes happen at a wrong season
of the year. Was it not &longs;uch a bill
as this, that changed the old &longs;tile; that
made the eclip&longs;e in the time of Julius Cesar;
that produced an earthquake at Jamaica,
and &longs;unk Port Royal? All history,
both ancient and modern, is full of
the mi&longs;chiefs of &longs;uch a bill. I &longs;hall, therefore,
vote again&longs;t it.

Mr. Bogan was now on the floor, and
advocated the good effects of the bill.

Sir, &longs;aid he, addre&longs;&longs;ing him&longs;elf to the

[figure description] Page 090.[end figure description]

chair, I appear in &longs;upport of the bill. I
&longs;ay, it will have a good effect on the physical
world e&longs;pecially. The ducks will be
fatter, the gee&longs;e heavier, the &longs;wans whiter,
the red-birds &longs;ing better, and partridges
come more ea&longs;ily into traps. It will kill
rats, muzzle calves, and cut colts; and
multiply the breed of oy&longs;ters, and pickle
cod-fi&longs;h. It will moderate the &longs;un's heat, and
the winter's cold; prevent fogs, and cure
the ague. It will help the natural brain;
brace the nerves, cure &longs;ore eyes, and the
cholic, and remove rheumati&longs;ms. Con&longs;ult
experience, and it will be found, that
provi&longs;ions of the nature propo&longs;ed by this
bill, have an a&longs;toni&longs;hing influence in this
re&longs;pect, where they have been tried. I mu&longs;t
take the liberty to &longs;ay, the gentleman's
allegations are totally unfounded; and he
has committed him&longs;elf, in the matter of his
hi&longs;tory; the earthquake in Jamaica, not
happening in the time of Julius Ce&longs;ar; and
therefore could have nothing to do with
the eclip&longs;e of the &longs;un. I &longs;hall, therefore,
vote in favour of the bill.

Mr. Cogan ro&longs;e to explain; and &longs;aid,
that he did not &longs;ay, that the earthquake at
Jamaica, was at the &longs;ame time with the

[figure description] Page 091.[end figure description]

clip&longs;e of the &longs;un, which happened at the
birth of Julius Ce&longs;ar.

Mr. Bogan ro&longs;e to correct the gentleman:
It was not at the birth of Julius
Ce&longs;ar, but at his death, that the earthquake
happened.

Mr. Hogan was on the floor: Said, he
thought he could reconcile the gentlemen
on that head. It was well known Julius
Ce&longs;ar lived about the time of the rebellion
in Scotland; a little after Nebuchadnezzar,
king of the Jews. As to the earthquake,
he did not remember what year it happened;
and therefore could &longs;ay nothing about
it.

At this period, the que&longs;tion being called,
it was put, and carried by a majority
of 25.

The Captain, &longs;atisfied with this &longs;ample
of Congre&longs;&longs;ional debates, retired, and came
to his lodging.

[figure description] Page 092.[end figure description]

IT was about three or four o'clock in
the afternoon, that &longs;ome one, who had
read the adverti&longs;ement re&longs;pecting Teague,
came to the Captain, and informed him,
that a per&longs;on, an&longs;wering the de&longs;cription,
had been lately employed to teach Greek
in the Univer&longs;ity. Struck with the idea,
that the bog-trotter might have pa&longs;&longs;ed himself
for a Greek &longs;cholar, whereas he understood
only Iri&longs;h, he &longs;et out to the University,
to make enquiry. Knocking at
the door of the principal, he was admitted;
and, being &longs;eated, addre&longs;&longs;ed him as
follows: Said he, &longs;ir, a pede&longs;eque of mine,
(for talking to the rector of a college, he
did not chu&longs;e to u&longs;e the vulgar terms, waiter,
or bog-trotter,) a pede&longs;eque of mine,
whom I have found u&longs;eful, &longs;ave that he is
&longs;omewhat trouble&longs;ome in pretending to
places of appointment for which he is not

[figure description] Page 093.[end figure description]

qualified; a thing, by the bye, too common
in this country; where men, without
the aid of academic knowledge, thru&longs;t
them&longs;elves into places requiring great
learning and ability: (This he &longs;aid to
&longs;latter the man of letters; as if a man could
know but little, that had not been forged
or furbi&longs;hed at his &longs;chool): I &longs;ay, this pedeseque
of mine, has ab&longs;conded for &longs;ome
days; and I have been able to collect no
account of him until la&longs;t evening, that a
per&longs;on, having read an adverti&longs;ement of
mine in the gazette, came to me, and informed,
that one, an&longs;wering the description
I had given, both as to appearance
and accompli&longs;hments, had been lately employed,
as profe&longs;&longs;or of the Greek language,
in this Univer&longs;ity. Now, though I well
know this Pady, as I may call him, to understand
no Greek; yet, as he &longs;peaks Irish,
and has much a&longs;&longs;urance, and little
hone&longs;ty in matters where his ambition is
concerned, I did not know, but he might
have impo&longs;ed him&longs;elf upon you, for a
Greek &longs;cholar, and obtained a professorship.

The principal made an&longs;wer, that it was
true that a per&longs;on from Ireland had been
lately employed in that capacity; and that

[figure description] Page 094.[end figure description]

&longs;hould he be di&longs;covered to be an inpo&longs;tor,
it would be u&longs;ing the univer&longs;ity very ill.
The Captain thought &longs;o too; and taking
it for granted that it was Teague, expressed
his &longs;urpri&longs;e that they had not examined
him, before he was admitted; or at
lea&longs;t had &longs;uch proof by letters as would
have had a&longs;certained his being qualified.
The principal ob&longs;erved, that as to examination
they had no one at hand to examine,
as there were none of the tru&longs;tees
or profe&longs;&longs;ors of other branches in the university
under&longs;tood Greek; as for him&longs;elf
he did not, having not &longs;tudied it in early
life, and for a &longs;eries of years, having giving
him&longs;elf to politics and mathematics;
&longs;o that unle&longs;s they could &longs;end out for a
Roman Catholic prie&longs;t, or a Scotch clergyman,
there was none to examine. The
improbability of any per&longs;on pa&longs;&longs;ing himself,
above all things, for a ma&longs;ter of the
Greek language on the &longs;core of understanding
Iri&longs;h, was &longs;uch, that it never came into
their heads to &longs;u&longs;pect it, &longs;o as to demand
letters.

Had you known &longs;aid the Captain, this
bog-trotter of mine, (here he forgot the
word pede&longs;eque) as well as I do, you
would not be &longs;urpri&longs;ed at his attempting

[figure description] Page 095.[end figure description]

any thing; and that he &longs;hould be now in
your academy giving Greek lectures, understanding
nothing but the vernacular
tongue of his own country. Here he gave
an account of his &longs;etting up for Congress,
&c. as explained in the preceding
part of this narrative.

However, wi&longs;hing to &longs;ee the raggamuffin
that he might unkennel him, he was
accompanied by the principal to the chamber
of the p&longs;eudo profe&longs;&longs;or, con&longs;idering as
he went along, in what manner he &longs;hould
acco&longs;t him; whether he &longs;hould break out
upon him with a direct invective, or with
ironical words; &longs;uch as, Mr. Profe&longs;&longs;or,
you mu&longs;t be a very learned man, not only
to under&longs;tand Iri&longs;h, but Greek: but perhaps
the Greek and Iri&longs;h language are
much the &longs;ame. It mu&longs;t be &longs;o; for I know
that a few days ago, you did not understand
a word of this, and to acquire a dead
language in &longs;uch a &longs;hort time would be impossible,
unle&longs;s the living tongue was a
good deal a-kin to it. But I had never
under&longs;tood that Iri&longs;h had any more affinity
to the language of Athens and Sparta,
than the Er&longs;e, or the German, or the
Welch; however, we mu&longs;t live and learn,

[figure description] Page 096.[end figure description]

as the &longs;aying is; you have &longs;hewn us what
we never knew before.

Conning a &longs;peech of this &longs;ort in his own
mind, with a view to divert the principal,
and amu&longs;e him&longs;elf with Teague, he entered
the chamber of the profe&longs;&longs;or; who &longs;at
in an elbow chair with Thucidydes before
him.

What was the &longs;urpri&longs;e of the Captain
to find that it was not Teague.

In fact, it was a per&longs;on not wholly unlike
him, e&longs;pecially in a hinge of the
brogue which he betrayed in his di&longs;cour&longs;e;
for though the profe&longs;&longs;or was really a man
of education, having been early &longs;ent to St.
Omer's, where he had &longs;tudied, being intended
for a prie&longs;t, and under&longs;tood not
only the Greek, and Latin, but &longs;poke
French; yet in the pronunciation of the
Engli&longs;h tongue, he had that prolongation
of the &longs;ound of a word, and articulation
of the vowel O, which con&longs;titutes what
is vulgarly called the brogue, as being
the pronunciation of the native Iri&longs;h; who
being a depre&longs;&longs;ed people, are mo&longs;t of them
poor, and wear a kind of mean &longs;hoe, which
they call a brogue.

After an apology to the profe&longs;&longs;or for
mi&longs;taking him for a certain Teague

[figure description] Page 097.[end figure description]

O'Regan, whom he had in his employment,
at the reque&longs;t of the profe&longs;&longs;or, the principal
and the Captain took &longs;eats.

The profe&longs;&longs;or &longs;aid, His name was not
O'Regan, being O'Dougherty; but he
knew the O'Regans very well in Ireland.
There was a Pady O'Regan in the &longs;ame
cla&longs;s with him at St. Omer's, when he read
Craike. That he was a good &longs;cholar, and
under&longs;tood Craike very well; and he would
be glad if he was over in this country to
tach Craike here; it appeared to be a very
&longs;carce language; but he had become a
pra&longs;te, and was now a mi&longs;&longs;ionary to Paraguay,
in Sout-America.

The Captain punning on his pronunciation
of the word Greek; and willing to
amu&longs;e him&longs;elf a little with the profe&longs;&longs;or,
could not help ob&longs;erving, that he was under
a mi&longs;take, as to the &longs;carcene&longs;s of the
Craike language in the&longs;e States. That
there were whole tribes who &longs;poke the
Craike language; there was that of the
heron, and the raven, and &longs;everal other
fowls. A German profe&longs;&longs;or, who was present,
apprehending the Captain to be under
a mi&longs;take, and willing to correct him,
ob&longs;erved—It is, &longs;aid he, the Creek language,
that the profe&longs;&longs;or means. As to

[figure description] Page 098.[end figure description]

that, &longs;aid the Captain, it is al&longs;o &longs;poken
plentifully in America. There is a whole
nation of Indians, on the borders of South
Carolina and Georgia, that &longs;peak the Creek
language; men, women, and children.

The profe&longs;&longs;or knowing more of the classics
than of the geography of the&longs;e United
States, and of the heathen gods more
than of the aborigines of this country, expressed
a&longs;toni&longs;hment. If what you tell me
be a trut, &longs;aid he, it is a crate di&longs;covery:
perhaps de&longs;e may have de fragments o' de
books o' de philo&longs;ophers and poets that
are lo&longs;t, and de profe&longs;&longs;ors cannot come
acra&longs;s in deir own countries; but I have
tought dat de Craike language was &longs;poke
only in de Morea, and a little in Ru&longs;&longs;ia,
and Con&longs;tantinople.

The Captain a&longs;&longs;ured him, the principal
favouring the mi&longs;take, by a grave face,
and bowing as the Captain &longs;poke, that it
was ab&longs;olutely the vernacular language of
the&longs;e people.

Why den, &longs;aid the other, do dey not
get profe&longs;&longs;ors from among&longs;t de&longs;e, to tache
Craike in deir Colleges?

Becau&longs;e, &longs;aid the Captain, we have been
heretofore on ho&longs;tile terms with the&longs;e Indians;
and it is but of late that we have

[figure description] Page 099.[end figure description]

made a peace. But now, it is to be presumed,
we &longs;hall have it in our power to
procure from them able teachers.

The profe&longs;&longs;or was alarmed at this; as
&longs;uppo&longs;ing it would &longs;upercede the nece&longs;&longs;ity
of his &longs;ervices; or, at lea&longs;t, much reduce
the price of his tuition. He could have
wi&longs;hed he had not come to this quarter of
the world; and was almo&longs;t ready, in his
own mind, to bind up what he had, and
go back to Clogher.

So ended their vi&longs;it to the Univer&longs;ity,
and the Captain withdrew.

[figure description] Page 100.[end figure description]

IT may be thought a prepo&longs;terous idea,
that it could, for a moment, be supposed
po&longs;&longs;ible, that the pede&longs;eque could
have had the a&longs;&longs;urance to pa&longs;s him&longs;elf for
a Grecian. But I had it from the Marquis
de la Luzerne, that a friend of his, who
was in &longs;ome public capacity at Mo&longs;cow;
and was entertained by a principal inhabitant
of the city, was a&longs;ked by him, to vi&longs;it
an academy, where the French language
was taught; and at which his &longs;on, a young
lad, then was. What was the &longs;urpri&longs;e
of the gentleman, to find a Pady from
Cork, who under&longs;tood not a &longs;ingle word of
French, or Latin, teaching an unknown
gibberi&longs;h, which mo&longs;t probably was Iri&longs;h?