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JOHN FARRAGO, was a man of about
fifty-three years of age, of good natural
&longs;en&longs;e, and con&longs;iderable reading; but in
&longs;ome things whim&longs;ical, owing perhaps to
his greater knowledge of books than of the
world; but, in &longs;ome degree, al&longs;o, to his
having never married, being what they call
an old batchelor, a characteri&longs;tic of which
is, u&longs;ually, &longs;ingularity and whim. He had
the advantage of having had in early life,
an academic education; but having never
applied him&longs;elf to any of the learned professions,
he had lived the greater part of his
life on a &longs;mall farm, which he cultivated
with &longs;ervants or hired hands, as he could
conveniently &longs;upply him&longs;elf with either.
The &longs;ervant that he had at this time, was
an Iri&longs;hman, who&longs;e name was Teague
Oregan. I &longs;hall &longs;ay nothing of the character
of this man, becau&longs;e the very name imports
what he was.

A &longs;trange idea came into the head of
Captain Farrago about this time; for, by

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the bye, I had forgot to mention that having
being cho&longs;en captain of a company of
militia in the neighbourhood, he had gone
by the name of Captain ever &longs;ince; for the
rule is, once a captain, and always a captain;
but, as I was ob&longs;erving, the idea
had come into his head, to &longs;addle an old
hor&longs;e that he had, and ride about the world
a little, with his man Teague at his heels,
to &longs;ee how things were going on here and
there, and to ob&longs;erve human nature. For
it is a mi&longs;take to &longs;uppo&longs;e, that a man cannot
learn man by reading him in a corner,
as well as on the wide&longs;t &longs;pace of transaction.
At any rate, it may yield amusement.

It was about a &longs;core of miles from his
own hou&longs;e, that he fell in with what we call
Races. The jockeys &longs;eeing him advance,
with Teague by his &longs;ide, whom they took
for his groom, conceived him to be &longs;ome
per&longs;on who had brought his hor&longs;e to enter
for the pur&longs;e. Coming up and acco&longs;ting
him, &longs;aid they, You &longs;eem to be for the
races, Sir; and have a hor&longs;e to enter. Not
at all, &longs;aid the captain; this is but a common
palfrey, and by no means remarkable
for &longs;peed or bottom; he is a common
plough hor&longs;e which I have u&longs;ed on my farm

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for &longs;everal years, and can &longs;carce go beyond
a trot; much le&longs;s match him&longs;elf with your
blooded hor&longs;es that are going to take the
field on this occa&longs;ion.

The jockeys were of opinion, from the
&longs;peech, that the hor&longs;e was what they call a
bite, and that under the appearance of leanness
and &longs;tiffne&longs;s, there was concealed
&longs;ome hidden quality of &longs;wiftne&longs;s uncommon.
For they had heard of in&longs;tances,
where the mo&longs;t knowing had been taken
in by mean looking hor&longs;es; &longs;o that having
laid two, or more, to one, they were nevertheless
bit by the bet; and the mean
looking nags, proved to be hor&longs;es of a more
than common &longs;peed and bottom. So that
there is no tru&longs;ting appearances. Such
was the rea&longs;oning of the jockeys. For they
could have no idea, that a man could come
there in &longs;o &longs;ingular a manner, with a
groom at his foot, unle&longs;s he had &longs;ome
great object of making money by the adventure.
Under this idea, they began to
interrogate him with re&longs;pect to the blood
and pedigree of his hor&longs;e: whether he
was of the dove, or the bay mare that
took the pur&longs;e; and was imported by
&longs;uch a one at &longs;uch a time? whether his
&longs;ire was Tamerlane or Bajazet?

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The Captain was irritated at the questions,
and could not avoid an&longs;wering.—
Gentlemen, &longs;aid he, it is a &longs;trange thing
that you &longs;hould &longs;uppo&longs;e that it is of any
con&longs;equence what may be the pedigree of a
hor&longs;e. For even in men it is of no avail.
Do we not find that &longs;ages have had blockheads
for their &longs;ons; and that blockheads
have had &longs;ages? It is remarkable, that as
e&longs;tates have &longs;eldom la&longs;ted three generations,
&longs;o under&longs;tanding and ability have
&longs;eldom been tran&longs;mitted to the &longs;econd.
There never was a greater man, take him
as an orator and philo&longs;opher, than Cicero:
and never was there a per&longs;on who had
greater opportunities than his &longs;on Marcus;
and yet he proved of no account or reputation.
This is an old in&longs;tance, but
there are a thou&longs;and others. Che&longs;terfield
and his &longs;on are mentioned. It is true,
Philip and Alexander may be &longs;aid to be
exceptions: Philip of the &longs;tronge&longs;t possible
mind; capable of almo&longs;t every thing
we can conceive; the deepe&longs;t policy and
the mo&longs;t determined valour; his &longs;on Alexander
not deficient in the fir&longs;t, and before
him in the la&longs;t; if it is po&longs;&longs;ible to be before
a man than whom you can &longs;uppo&longs;e
nothing greater. It is po&longs;&longs;ible, in modern

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times, that Tippo Saib may be equal to
his father Hyder Ali. Some talk of the
two Pitts. I have no idea that the &longs;on is, in
any re&longs;pect, equal to old Sir William. The
one is a laboured artificial mini&longs;ter: the
other &longs;poke with the thunder, and acted
with the lightning of the gods. I will
venture to &longs;ay, that when the pre&longs;ent John
Adam&longs;es, and Lees, and Jeffer&longs;ons, and Jays,
and Henrys, and other great men, who figure
upon the &longs;tage at this time, have gone
to &longs;leep with their fathers, it is an hundred
to one if there is any of their de&longs;cendents
who can fill their places. Was I to lay a bet
for a great man, I would &longs;ooner pick up
the brat of a tinker, than go into the great
hou&longs;es to chu&longs;e a piece of &longs;tuff for a man
of genius. Even with re&longs;pect to per&longs;onal
appearance, which is more in the power
of natural production, we do not &longs;ee that
beauty always produces beauty; but on
the contrary, the homlie&longs;t per&longs;ons have
oftentimes the be&longs;t favoured offspring; &longs;o
that there is no rule or rea&longs;on in the&longs;e
things. With re&longs;pect to this hor&longs;e, therefore,
it can be of no moment whether he is
blooded or &longs;tuded, or what he is. He is a
good old hor&longs;e, u&longs;ed to the plough, and carries
my weight very well; and I have never

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yet made enquiry with re&longs;pect to his ancestors,
or affronted him &longs;o much as to
ca&longs;t up to him the defect of parentage.
I bought him &longs;ome years ago from Niel
Thomas, who had him from a colt. As
far as I can under&longs;tand, he was of a brown
mare that John M`Neis had; but of what
hor&longs;e I know no more than the hor&longs;e himself.
His gaits are good enough, as to
riding a &longs;hort journey of &longs;even or eight
miles, or the like; but he is rather a pacer
than a troter; and though his bottom may
be good enough in carrying a bag to the
mill, or going in the plough, or the &longs;led,
or the harrow, &c. yet his wind is not &longs;o
good, nor his &longs;peed, as to be fit for the
heats.

The jockeys thought the man a fool, and
gave them&longs;elves no more trouble about
him.

The hor&longs;es were now entered, and about
to &longs;tart for the pur&longs;e. There was Black
and all Black, and Snip, John Duncan's
Barbary Slim, and &longs;everal others. The
riders had been weighed, and when mounted,
the word was given. It is needle&longs;s to
de&longs;cribe a race; every body knows the
circum&longs;tances of it. It is &longs;ufficient to &longs;ay,
that from the bets that were laid, there
was much anxiety, and &longs;ome pa&longs;&longs;ion in

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the minds of tho&longs;e concerned: So, that as
two of the hor&longs;es, Black and all Black,
and Slim, came out near together; there
was di&longs;pute and confu&longs;ion. It came to
kicking and cuffing in &longs;ome places. The
Captain was a good deal hurt with &longs;uch indecency
among&longs;t gentlemen, and advancing,
addre&longs;&longs;ed them in the following manner:
Gentleman, this is an unequal and
unfair proceeding. It is unbecoming modern
manners, or even the ancient. For at
the Olympic games of Greece, where were
celebrated hor&longs;e and chariot races, there
was no &longs;uch hurry &longs;curry as this; and in
times of chivalry it&longs;elf, where men ate,
drank, and &longs;lept on hor&longs;e-back, though
there was a great deal of pell-meling, yet no
&longs;uch di&longs;orderly work as this. If men had
a difference, they couched their lances,
and ran full tilt at one another; but no
&longs;uch indecent expre&longs;&longs;ions, as villain, scoundrel,
liar, ever came out of their mouths.
There was the mo&longs;t perfect courte&longs;y in
tho&longs;e days of heroi&longs;m and honour; and
this your hor&longs;e-racing, which is a germ of
the amu&longs;ement of tho&longs;e times, ought to be
conducted on the &longs;ame principles of decorum,
and good breeding.

As he was &longs;peaking, he was jo&longs;tled by

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&longs;ome one in the croud, and thrown from
his hor&longs;e; and had it not been for Teague,
who was at hand, and helped him on again,
he would have &longs;uffered damage. As
it was, he received a contu&longs;ion in his head,
of which he complained much; and having
left the race-ground, and coming to a
&longs;mall cottage, he &longs;topped a little, to alight
and dre&longs;s the wound. An old woman who
was there, thought they ought to take a little
of his water, and &longs;ee how it was with
him; but the Captain having no faith in
telling di&longs;orders by the urine, thought
proper to &longs;end for a &longs;urgeon who was hard
by, to examine the brui&longs;e, and apply bandages.
The &longs;urgeon attended, and examining
the part, pronounced it a contu&longs;ion
of the cerebrum. But as there appeared
but little laceration, and no fracture, simple
or compound, the pia mater could not
be injured; nor even could there be more
than a &longs;light impre&longs;&longs;ion on the dura mater.
So that trepaning did not at all appear necessary.
A mo&longs;t fortunate circum&longs;tance;
for a wound in the head, is of all places
the mo&longs;t dangerous; becau&longs;e there can be
no amputation to &longs;ave life. There being but
one head to a man, and that being the residence
of the five &longs;en&longs;es, it is impo&longs;&longs;ible

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to live without it. Neverthele&longs;s, as the
pre&longs;ent ca&longs;e was highly dangerous, as it
might lead to a &longs;ub&longs;ultus tendinum, or
lock-jaw, it was nece&longs;&longs;ary to apply cataplasms,
in order to reduce inflammation,
and bring about a &longs;anative di&longs;po&longs;ition of
the parts. Perhaps it might not be ami&longs;s,
to take an anodyne as a refrigerant. Many
patients had been lo&longs;t by the ignorance
of empirics pre&longs;cribing bracers; whereas,
in the fir&longs;t &longs;tage of a contu&longs;ion, relaxing
and antifebrile medicines are proper. A
little phlebotomy was no doubt nece&longs;&longs;ary,
to prevent the bur&longs;ting of the blood ve&longs;&longs;els.

The Captain hearing &longs;o many hard
words, and bad accounts of this ca&longs;e, was
much alarmed. Neverthele&longs;s he did not
think it could be ab&longs;olutely &longs;o dangerous.
For it &longs;eemed to him that he was not &longs;ick
at heart, or under any mortal pain. The
&longs;urgeon ob&longs;erved, that in this ca&longs;e he could
not him&longs;elf be a judge. For the very part
was affected by which he was to judge, viz.
the head; that it was no uncommon thing
for men in the extreme&longs;t ca&longs;es to imagine
them&longs;elves out of danger; whereas in reality,
they were in the greate&longs;t po&longs;&longs;ible:
that notwith&longs;tanding the &longs;ymptoms were
mild, yet from the contu&longs;ion, a

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mortification might en&longs;ue. Hypocrates, who might
be &longs;tiled an elementary phy&longs;ician, and has
a treati&longs;e on this very &longs;ubject, is of opinion,
that the mo&longs;t dangerous &longs;ymptom,
is a topical in&longs;en&longs;ibility; but among the
moderns, Sydenham con&longs;iders it in another
point of view, and thinks that where
there is no pain, there is as great rea&longs;on
to &longs;uppo&longs;e that there is no hurt, as that
there is a mortal one. Be this as it may,
anti&longs;eptic medicines might be very proper.

The Captain hearing &longs;o much jargon,
and con&longs;cious to him&longs;elf that he was by
no means in &longs;o bad a &longs;tate as this &longs;on of
E&longs;calapius would repre&longs;ent, broke out into
&longs;ome pa&longs;&longs;ion. It is, &longs;aid he, the craft of
your profe&longs;&longs;ion to make the ca&longs;e wor&longs;e than
it is, in order to increa&longs;e the perqui&longs;ites.
But if there is any faith in you, make the
&longs;ame demand, and let me know your real
judgment. The &longs;urgeon was irritated with
his di&longs;tru&longs;t, and took it into his head to
fix &longs;ome apprehen&longs;ion in the mind of his
patient, if po&longs;&longs;ible, that his ca&longs;e was not
without danger. Looking &longs;tedfa&longs;tly at
him for &longs;ome time, and feeling his pul&longs;e,
there is, &longs;aid he, an evident delirium approaching.
This argues an affection of
the brain, but it will be nece&longs;&longs;ary, after

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&longs;ome &longs;oporiferous draughts, to put the
patient to &longs;leep. Said the Captain, If you
will give me about a pint of whi&longs;key and
water, I will try to go to &longs;leep my&longs;elf. Adeleterious
mixture, in this ca&longs;e, &longs;aid the
&longs;urgeon, cannot be proper; e&longs;pecially a
di&longs;tillation of that quality. The Captain
would hear no more; but reque&longs;ting the
man of the cabin, to let him have the
&longs;pirits propo&longs;ed, drank a pint or two of
grog, and having bound up his head with
a handkerchief, went to bed.

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