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To say that the townspeople of this mighty metropolis
were in a state of greater excitement and activity on
a certain night in a certain month of November—which
it is not necessary more particularly to define—than they
are on certain other nights of periodical recurrence, would
be to do the said townspeople arrant injustice, and to establish
for the chronicler of the following authentic history,
at the very outset, a questionable character for truth
and plain-speaking. On this immediate occasion, however,
there was, it must be confessed, a commendable degree
of agitation and enthusiasm visible, in almost every
quarter of the city. Crowds were emerging from lane,
alley and thoroughfare, and pouring into the central streets
in the direction of the Hall; sometimes in knots of three,
four or more, all engaged in earnest conversation, in a
loud key, with vehement gesture, and faces considerably
discolored by excitement. The persons composing these
various peripatetic and deliberative groups, could not be
said to be of any single class or profession, but mingled
together indiscriminately, much after the fashion of a
country store-keeper's stock, where a bale of fourth-price
flannel neighbors a piece of first-quality linen, and knots
of dainty and gallant wine-glasses are brought into a state
of sociable confusion, with a gathering of hard-headed
plebian stone-bottles. Although all tended the same way
and on the same errand, let no man be so rash and intemperate
as to imagine that no distinctions were observed;
that certain lines and demarcations were not maintained;
and that broadcloth was not careful here, as usual, not to
have its fine nap destroyed by the jostling of homespun.

The knot of tough-fisted mechanics kept its course,
roaring out its rough sarcasms and grat gusts of invective,
while the company of well-dressed gentlemen bound for

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the same harbor, glided more quietly along, their talk
scarcely disturbed by the extravagance of a rippling phrase
or an oath.

Here a substantial citizen advanced in great state and
dignity, alone, toward the place of gathering, unless his
horn-topped walking-stick might be held as suitable company
for so grave and dignified a personage; and again a
thoughtful young gentleman might be discovered, striding
along with his hands thrust deep in his pockets, conning a
few common-places for a speech.

This various crowd has at length reached its destination,
and scampering up the stairs of a large mis-shapen building,
with no little heat and racket, finds itself landed in
a spacious saloon, facing a raised platform, protected in
front by a rough railing with some score of vacant chairs
occupying the floor of the same, and as many stout candles
ranged against the rail. Beneath the platform is a small
square table, holding a capacious inkstand, ornamented
with two or three huge grey goose-quills. Abreast of the
table are stretched a number of rude benches, to afford
accommodation for such infirm, ease-loving and sedentary
individuals, as may see fit to take possession of them;
and taken possession of they are at a very early stage of
the proceedings, first by a squad of precocious ship-wrights'
'prentices, secondly by a broad-bottomed dairyman
who was left at the Hall in the afternoon by one of
his own wagons from Bloomingdale, and thirdly by a
rout of scrambling fellows, from no place in particular,
who push and jostle and clamour their best for the occupancy.
The meeting is on the eve of being organized,
when in marches a well-fed uppish man—the very citizen
that was alone with his cane in the street—who, contemplating
the crowd with an air of austere regard, urges
himself towards one end of the platform, where he meets
a scraggy man, smartly dressed, and displaying from the
pillory of a sharp-edged clean shirt-collar, a very knowing
countenance extended to the audience, and engages
in a whispered conversation, the concluding clause whereof
embodies this sterling sentiment, (enforced by the
thrusting of a roll at the same time into the open hand of
the scraggy gentleman.) “There's a current ten—make
me a vice, will ye?” The scraggy man thereupon cocks
his eye significantly, and the stout citizen, slipping
away, gets into the outskirts of the crowd, where he

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stares at the platform and the candles—the political Heaven
of ambitions stout gentlemen—as if they were the most
remarkable objects in creation, and as if he was perfectly
unconscious of the objects for which the meeting was then
and there convened.

In due time the meeting was called to order, and the innocent
stout gentleman established himself, with five others,
upon the platform, as an assistant presiding officer—a
vice—of the same. Silence was proclaimed and a dwarfish
little man, with one of the oddest countenances in
the world was lifted upon a high stool by the mob, and
commenced reading a manuscript, which he dignified
with the name of the “Report of the Anti-Aqueduct Committee,
appointed by the citizens of New-York, at a large
and respectable meeting held at Fogfire Hall, &c., &c.,”
in which was furnished a certain amount of statistics
(taken from the 'Cyclopedia): a decoction of mouldy jokes
from the newspapers): and a modicum of energetic
slang—a direct emanation from the inventive genius of
the reader of the Report.

This was a great, a tremendous question—suggested the
Anti-Aqueduct manuscript—a question, to come to the
point at once, involving the rights of mankind, the interests
of universal humanity. If this principle was allowed
to pass unopposed—this pernicious principle of setting up
pure water, democratic Adam's ale, the true corporation
gin, for purchase—where would we land? The Committee
that drafted the Report could tell 'em!—in tyranny,
despotism, bloodshed and debauchery. Individuals would
get drunk at the pump, as soon as the price was made an
object: there was a consideration for them! The people
had their rights—here the reader wagged his head vehemently,
and grinned like a demon just going out of his
slang—he could tell them, and the people could take care
of 'em.

A general dissemination of genuine gin cock-tails among
the hearers, could have scarcely produced greater excitement
than did this most apposite and thrilling sentiment:
caps flew up, and hats flew off, as if the air were alive
with great black insects, and canes came down with a
general crash, like a cane-brake itself in a state of tornado.
It seemed as if they never would be done applauding
this happy allusion; and the Committee-man stood

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on the stool, swaying on one leg, and smiling, as if he
considered it the most agreeable spectacle he had ever
enjoyed. The Committee did not suppose that it was the
purpose of Providence to destroy mankind by a second
flood, but they were satisfied, morally satisfied, if such
an intention ever did come within the purview of the
divine displeasure, the object would undoubtedly be accomplished
by the bursting of the Reservoir which it
was proposed to erect at the junction of the Third Avenue
and Bowery:—at least, the Committee thought it
proper to add, as far as the citizens of New-York were
concerned. And so the Report rambled on, like an echo
among the Dutch Hills, until it finally died away in a
thundering Resolution, and the little reader was inadvertently
knocked off the stool by a charcoal-vender, who
was employed, besides grinning through the sable stains
of his trade in a ghastly manner, in swinging his hat in
approval of one of the concluding sentiments of his Report.

The charcoal-man was hustled, the little Committee-man
set upon his legs, and a vote of thanks unanimously passed
for the able Report just read.

A very long, dull-looking man, next offered a resolution,
and delivered a speech, as long and dull as himself;
which resolution and speech were seconded, by a round,
heavy man, in an harangue quite as rigmarole and ponderose;—
when a pause occurred, during which the mob
seemed to be reflecting what they should do next. After
a proper degree of cogitation, they commenced shouting
for a favorite speaker, who always interested their feelings
by proposing a general division of property: which was
very liberal in him, as he had nothing to divide but the
payment of two-score old debts, and the expenses of a
small family; but he failed to make his appearance.
Upon which certain sagacious persons began peering
about in the crowd, as if they expected to find him sandwiched
away snugly among the carmen, omnibus-drivers and
stevedores, there present. Certain other active persons were
despatched into the halls and purlieus of the building; a
self-formed committee of five rushed post-haste for the
bar-room; and one over-zealous individual was so far carried
away by his enthusiasm, as to run a mile to the orator's
dwelling, and there to demand his person with such

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breathless incoherence, as to lead his small family to suspect
that their dear protector and pay-master harbored the
intention of making way with himself.

A second popular favorite was called by the audience;
the same scrutiny instituted, and with the same result.
Affairs now looked exceedingly blank, the audience began
to despair, and to entertain the horrible expectation
of having to go to bed speechless, when an unknown individual
pushed convulsively through the crowd, struggled
up the steps, and placed himself at the foot of the platform;
and stretching out his right arm to its full extent,
began.

He was young—the bloom of roseate health upon his
cheek would satisfy them of that. He was timid and
doubtful: witness his tremblings and shiverings on presenting
himself for the first time before that highly respectable
body of august citizens. He was rash and foolhardy,
he was aware, in coming before so intelligent an
audience, at that critical moment. But he was actuated
and impelled by a sense of duty, which would not allow
him to be silent while that great question called for an advocate.
They had heard the thunder of the cannon, in
the Report; the braying (a slight titter at this word) of
trumpets, in the speeches of the two learned gentlemen
that had preceded him: and now that the grand overture
of battle had been performed, he ventured to come upon
the field, and with his simple shepherd's pipe to sound the
humbler music of peace. He trusted that no violent, no
vindictive feeling, would be indulged toward their opponents.
Let their measure pass—let the Aqueduct be
reared, and let its waters begin to flow:—from these very
waters, pernicious as they seemed, should be drawn the
rainbow of promise for his friends; for the friends of cheap
government and good order! Taxation was not democracy:
debt was not democracy: public ruin and bankruptcy
were not democracy (gently warbled the shepherd's pipe):
and if this insane, wolfish and reckless party, wished to
destroy itself with its own fangs—why, in God's name,
bid them God-speed, and give them a clear field. He
would not suggest that the farmers in Westchester county
should oppose the passage of the Aqueduct through their
own lands; they were freemen, and knew what was what.
He would not stir up the Harlaem Bridge Company (Heaven
forbid) to withstand this encroachment upon their

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rights; they were a corporation, and could discriminate
carrot from horse-radish. He hoped, he fervently and
sincerely hoped and trusted, that the entire race of water-rats
and ground-moles might be annihilated, before the
undertaking was commenced; so that it might not be impeded
or undermined by their operations. At these various
hopes and suggestions, as they were delivered, there
was an uproarious ha! ha! uttered by the assemblage, who
seemed to relish them hugely: and, with a hint or two to
the audience, not to allow themselves to be tampered with;
not to look on and see their heads taken from their shoulders,
and the bread from their children's mouths (all of
which was heartily seconded by the hearers); the young
orator—the gentle friend of peace—stepped from the platform.

At the conclusion of the speech, some one in the crowd
jumped up a foot or two, and shouted, “Three cheers for
the last speech!” and three cheers were given, with great
animation; and then, at the same suggestion, three more;
and three at the end of them. Different members of the
audience turned to each other and shook hands, and exclaimed,
“Royal,” “That was fine,” and other like
phrases of approbation: and then inquiries were set on foot
as to the name of the new speaker, to which no one could
furnish a satisfactory answer; and whether he was from
this ward or that ward, which was in a state of equal doubt
and uncertainty; and finally it was conjectured and suggested,
that he did n't belong to any ward at all, but had
come from the country: which they were for proving by
his rural simile of the rainbow, (rainbows not being indigenous
in incorporated towns), and his intimate acquaintance
with the feelings of the Westchester County farmers,
and ground-moles.

Whatever might be his name and origin, his foot had no
sooner touched the floor than he felt his sleeve twitched,
and turning, he discovered a singular-looking little gentleman,
beckoning him to follow.