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THE next day, revolving every thing in his
mind, it occurred to the Captain, that the Irishman
might have gone out of town, hearing of an election
at a district, and have been elected to Congress.
As that body was then sitting, he thought it could
be no great trouble to go to the house, and cast an
eye from the gallery, and see if the raggamuffin had
got there. There was one that had a little of the
brogue of Teague upon his tongue, but nothing of
his physiognomy; others had a good deal of his
manner, but there was none that came absolutely up
to the physic of his person.

However, being here, the Captain thought it not
amiss to listen a while to the debates upon the carpet.
A certain bill was depending, and made, it
seems, the order of the day. Mr. Cogan being on
the floor, spoke:....Sir, said he, addressing himself
to the chair, the bill in contemplation, is, in my
opinion, of a dangerous tendency. I will venture to
fortel, that, if it goes into a law, the cows will have
fewer calves, and the sheep less wool; hens will lay
fewer eggs, and cocks forget to crow day-light. The
horses will be worse shod, and stumble more; our
watches go too slow; corns grow upon our toes;

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young women have the stomach ach; old men the
gout; and middle aged persons fainting fits. The
larks will fall dead in the field; the frogs croak till
they burst their bags; and the leaves of the trees fall
before the autumn. Snow will be found in the heat
of harvest, and the dog-days in winter. The rivers
will revert; and the shadows fall to the east in the
morning. The moon will be eclipsed; and the
equinoxes happen at a wrong season of the year.
Was it not such a bill as this, that changed the old
stile; that made the eclipse in the time of Julius Cesar;
that produced an earthquake at Jamaica, and
sunk Port Royal? All history, both ancient and modern,
is full of the mischiefs of such a bill. I shall
therefore vote against it.

Mr. Bogan was now on the floor, and advocated
the good effects of the bill.

Sir, said he, addressing himself to the chair, I appear
in support of the bill. I say, it will have a
good effect on the physical world especially. The
ducks will be fatter, the geese heavier, the swans
whiter, the red-birds sing better, and patridges
come more easily into traps. It will kill rats, muzzle
calves, and cut colts; and multiply the breed of
oysters, and pickle cod-fish. It will moderate the
sun's heat, and the winter's cold; prevent fogs, and
cure the ague. It will help the natural brain, brace
the nerves, cure sore eyes, and the cholic, and remove
rheumatisms. Consult experience, and it will
be found, that provisions of the nature proposed by
this bill, have an astonishing influence in this respect,
where they have been tried. I must take the
liberty to say, the gentleman's allegations are totally
unfounded; and he has committed himself, in the
matter of his history; the earthquake in Jamaica not
happening in the time of Julius Cesar; and

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therefore could have nothing to do with the eclipse of the
sun. I shall, therefore, vote in favour of the bill.

Mr. Cogan rose to explain, and said, that he did
not say, that the earthquake at Jamaica was at the
same time with the eclipse of the sun, which happened
at the birth of Julius Cesar.

Mr. Bogan rose to correct the gentleman: It was
not at the birth of Julius Cesar, but at his death, that
the earthquake happened.

Mr. Hogan was on the floor: Said, he thought he
could reconcile the gentlemen on that head. It was
well known Julius Cesar lived about the time of the
rebellion in Scotland, a little after Nebuchadnezzar,
king of the Jews. As to the earthquake, he did not
remember what year it happened, and therefore
could say nothing about it.

At this period, the question being called, it was
put, and carried by a majority of 25.

The Captain, satisfied with this sample of Congressional
debates, retired, and came to his lodgings.

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