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IT was about three o'clock in the afternoon that
the Captain came to an inn, where unhorseing and
unsaddling, Teague took the steed, and the master
went to sleep on a sopha in the passage. Unless it
is in a very deep sleep, the mind is in some degree
awake, and has what are called dreams. These are
frequently composed of a recollection of late events.
Sometimes the mind recovers incidents long since
past, and makes comments, but most usually, out of
mere indolence, takes up with what is next at hand.
It happened so on this occasion; for the Captain
thought himself still in conversation with the Scotchman
on the subject of the late election. It seemed
to him that he said, Mr. M`Donald, for that was the
name of the Scotch gentleman, you do not seem to
have a high opinion of our republican form of government,
when the most contemptible can obtain
the people's suffrages.

The Scotchman seemed to answer in his own dialect,
saying, Ye are much mistaken man, if ye draw
that conclusion. I think there is a worse chance
for merit to come forth where appointments are in
the hand of one, than when with many; for it is
much easier to scratch the rump of one, than to tickle

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the hurdies o' a thousand. Ye see our executive
dinna do much better in their appointments to judicial
and ministerial offices, than the rabble folk themselves
to the legislative. It all comes to the same
thing in every government; the wind blaws, and the
feathers and the fern get uppermost.

At this instant he was awakened by a bustle out
of doors. The fact was; a disagreement had taken
place between Teague and the hostler at the inn,
about their skill respectively in rubbing down and
currying horses. Teague had made use of a single
grab of hay, which he held with both hands, and impressed
the horse, rubbing him from side to side, and
up and down with all his might. The other with a
wisp in each hand, rubbed; the right hand passing
to the left, while the left hand passed to the right, in
a traverse or diagonal direction. The hostler valued
himself on having been groom, as he pretended,
to a nobleman in England, and therefore must be
supposed to understand the true art of currying.
Teague maintained his opinion, and way of working
with a good deal of obstinacy, until at last it came
to blows. The first stroke was given by Teague,
who hit the hostler on the left haunch with his foot,
when he was stooping down to shew Teague how to
rub the fetlock. The hostler recovering, and seizing
Teague by the breast, pushed him back with a
retrograde motion, until he was brought up by a
cheek of the stable door. Resting against this,
Teague made a sally, and impelled his antagonist
several yards back, who finding at length behind
him the support of a standing through, which the carriers
used for a manger to feed their horses, recovered
his position, and elanced Teague some distance
from the place of projection. But Teague still
keeping hold of the collar of his adversary, had

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brought him along with him, and both were now on
the ground struggling for victory. But Teague
turning on his belly, and drawing up his knees was
making an effort to raise himself to his feet. The
other in the mean time, partly by the same means,
and partly by retaining hold of the Irishman, was in
the attitude of rising with him. They were now
both up locked fast in the grasp of each other, their
heads inclining in conjunction, but their feet apart,
like muskets stacked after a review, or like the arch
of a bridge. The head of each supported by the
abutment of the feet. Few blows were given, and
therefore not much damage done. But the persons
present calling out fair play, and making a bustle in
the porch of the inn, had awakened the Captain,
and brought him to the door, who seeing what was
going on, took upon him to command the peace;
and the people supposing him to be a magistrate,
assisted to part the combatants; when the Captain
ordering both of them before him made enquiry into
the cause of the dispute. Teague gave his account
of the matter; adding, that, if he had had a
shallelah, he would have been after making him
know that the paple in dis country, could curry a
horse, or a cow, or a shape as well as any Englishman
in de world, though he have been hastler to a
great lord, or de king himself, at his own stable
where he has his harse.

Teague, said the Captain, this may be true; but
it was unbecoming a philosopher to attempt to
establish this by blows. Force proves nothing but
the quantum of the force. Reason is the only argument
that belongs to man. You have been the aggressor,
and therefore in the power of the law. But
as to you, Mr. Hostler, you have given provocation.

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I have had this lad with me several years, and I say
that he curries and rubs down a horse well. It is no
uncommon thing for men of your country, to undervalue
other nations. You naturally associate your
own attainments with the bulk and populousness of
large cities: But can the looking at a large building
or a tall spire, add an inch to your stature? Because
Fox is eloquent, is every one that hears him so too?
Is not human ingenuity the same here as on the
other side the water? Our generals have fought as
well, in the late war, as any Clinton, or Cornwallis
that you have. Our politicians have wrote, and our
patriots have spoke as well as your Burkes, or your
Sheridans, or any other; and yet when you come
here, there is no bearing the airs of superiority
you take upon yourselves. I wonder if the wasps
that are in your London garrets consider themselves
better than the wasps that are in these woods? I
should suppose it must be so; such is the contemptible
vanity of an island, which, taken in its whole
extent, would be little more than a urinal to one of
our Patagonians in South America. This the Captain
said to mortify the hostler; though, by the bye,
there is a good deal of truth in the observation, that
the people of an old country undervalue the new;
and when they think of themselves, conjoin the adventitious
circumstances of all that exists where
they have lived. I have found a prejudice of this nature
even with the wisest men. What wonder,
therefore, that a poor illiterate hostler should be subject
to it? But if he did undervalue an American
born, yet he ought to have considered that Teague,
though not born in Britain, was born near it, and
therefore might considerably approach the same
skill in any handy-craft work.

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In natural history, we do not value animals on account
of the place from whence they are taken, but
on account of what they are themselves; and in
things that are made by hands, not by the manufacturer,
but by the quality. We prefer the trout of
the rivulet, to the mullet of the river; and we judge
of the pudding not by the maker, but the eating.
There is a proverb that establishes this; for proverbs
are the deductions of experience, and to which we
assent as soon as expressed; containing in them an
obvious truth, which the simplest understand.

IT is not for the sake of any moral, that I have
related this scuffle that took place between the
Irishman and the hostler; but for the sake of shewing
in what manner incidents are to be related; that
is, with great simplicity of stile, and minuteness of
description. That part of Livy which contains the
combat of the Horatii, and Curatii, is frequently given
to the students at a college to translate, that by
this means they may be taught to imitate the like
delicacy in the choice of words, and particularity of
the recital. The above may answer the same purpose.
It is true there is not the like incidents in
this combat as in that described by Livy; never theless,
the same art is therein discovered, as the sound
critic will observe. I know it will be thought by
any one who reads it, that he could use the very
same words and give the same liveliness of picture,
were he to attempt it. Should he try it, he will find
himself disappointed.........Suder multum, frustraque
laboret, ausus idem....

It may be thought, that though stile is my object,
yet I might now and then bring in a thought to

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entertain the reader, and introduce some subject of
moment, rather than the fisty-cuffs of two raggamuffins.
I would just ask this question: Is not the talent
of the artist shewn as much in painting a fly, as
a waggon-wheel. If this were intended as a book
of morals, or physiology, and not as a mere belle
lettre composition, there might be something said;
as the case is, critics must be silent.

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