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NOT long after this, being at a certain place,
the Captain was accosted by a stranger in the following
manner: Captain, said he, I have heard of a
young man in your service who talks Irish. Now,
Sir, my business is that of an Indian treaty-maker;
and am on my way with a party of kings, and half-kings
to the commissioners, to hold a treaty. My king of
the Kickapoos, who was a Welch blacksmith, took
sick by the way, and is dead: I have heard of this
lad of yours, and could wish to have him a while to
supply his place. The treaty will not last longer
than a couple of weeks; and as the government will
probably allow three or four thousand dollars for the
treaty, it will be in our power to make it worth your
while, to spare him for that time. Your king of the
Kickapoos, said the Captain; what does that mean?
Said the stranger, It is just this: you have heard of
the Indian nations to the westward, that occasionally
make war upon the frontier settlements. It has been
a policy of government, to treat with these, and distribute
goods. Commissioners are appointed for
that purpose. Now you are not to suppose that it
is always an easy matter to catch a real chief, and
bring him from the woods; or if at some expence

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one was brought, the goods would go to his use;
whereas, it is much more profitable to hire substitutes
and make chiefs of our own: And as some unknown
gibberish is necessary, to pass for an Indian
language, we generally make use of Welch, or Low
Dutch, or Irish; or pick up an ingenious fellow here
and there, who can imitate a language by sounds of
his own, in his mouth, and throat. But we prefer
one who can speak a real tongue, and give more for
him. We cannot afford you a great deal at this
time for the use of your man; because it is not a
general treaty where 20,000, or 30,000 dollars are
appropriated for the purpose of holding it; but an
occasional, or what we call a running treaty, by way
of brightening the chain, and holding fast friendship.
The commissioners will doubtless be glad to see us,
and procure from government an allowance for the
treaty. For the more treaties, the more use for commissioners.
The business must be kept up, and treaties
made if there are none of themselves. My Pianksha,
and Choctaw chiefs, are very good fellows;
the one of them a Scotch pedlar that talks the Erse;
the other has been some time in Canada, and has a
little broken Indian, God knows what language; but
has been of great service in assisting to teach the
rest some Indian custom and manners. I have had
the whole of them for a fortnight past under my tuition,
teaching them war songs and dances, and to
make responses at the treaty. If your man is tractable,
I can make him a Kickapoo in about nine days.
A breech-clout and leggins, that I took off the blacksmith
that died, I have ready to put on him. He must
have part of his head shaved, and painted, with feathers
on his crown; but the paint will rub off, and the
hair grow in a short time, so that he can go about
with you again.

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It is a very strange affair, said the Captain. Is it
possible that such deception can be practised in a
new country. It astonishes me, that the government
does not detect such imposition. The government,
said the Indian treaty-man, is at a great distance. It
knows no more of Indians than a cow does of Greek.
The legislature, hears of wars and rumours of wars,
and supports the executive in forming treaties....
How is it possible for men who live remote from
the scene of action, to have adequate ideas of the nature
of Indians, or the transactions that are carried
on in their behalf? Do you think the one half of
those savages that come to treat, are real representatives
of the nation? Many of them are not savages
at all; but weavers, and pedlars, as I have told you,
picked up to make kings and chiefs. I speak of those
particularly that come trading down to inland towns,
or the metropolis. I would not communicate these
mysteries of our trade, were it not that I confide in
your good sense, and have occasion for your servant.

It is a mystery of iniquity, said the Captain. Do
you suppose that I would countenance such a fraud
upon the public? I do not know, said the other; it is
a very common thing for men to speculate, now adays.
If you will not, another will. A hundred dollars
might as well be in your pocket as another man's.
I will give you that for the use of your servant, for
a week or two, and say no more about it. It is an
idea new to me entirely, said the Captain, that Indian
princes, whom I have seen escorted down as
such, were no more than trumpery, disguised, as you
mention; that such should be introduced to polite
assemblies, and have the honour to salute the fair
ladies with a kiss, the greatest beauties thinking
themselves honoured by having the salution of a sovereign?
It is so, said the other; I had a red headed

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bricklayer once, whom I passed for a Chippawaw;
and who has dined with clubs, and sat next the President.
He was blind of an eye, and was called
blind Sam by the traders. I had given it out that
he was a great warrior, and had lost his eye by an
arrow, in a contest with a rival nation. These things
are now reduced to a system; and it is so well known
to those who are engaged in the traffic, that we think
nothing of it.

How the devil, said the Captain, do you get
speeches made, and interpret them so as to pass for
truth. That is an easy matter, said the other; Indian
speeches are nearly all alike. You have only to
talk of burying hatches under large trees, kindling
fires, brightening chains; with a demand, at the latter
end, of blankets for the backside, and rum to get
drunk with.

I much doubt, said the Captain, whether treaties
that are carried on in earnest, are of any great use.
Of none at all, said the other; especially as the practice
of giving goods prevails; because this is an inducement
to a fresh war. This being the case, it
can be no harm to make a farce of the whole matter;
or rather a profit of it; by such means as I propose
to you, and have pursued myself.

After all, said the Captain, I cannot but consider
it as a kind of contraband and illicit traffic; and I
must be excused from having any hand in it, I shall
not betray your secret, but I shall not favour it. It
would ill become me, whose object in riding about
in this manner, is to give just ideas on subjects, to
take part in such ill-gotten gain.

The Indian treaty-man finding it in vain to say
more, withdrew.

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