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A man who duz things frum principle kin stand a good deal.
I kin. Sustaned and soothed by an unfaltrin trust in the
rychusnis uv the Suthrin coz, I stuck to my beluvd regiment,
the Loozeaner Pelikins, with a tenasity wich I did not dream
I possest. But ther is a pint beyond wich human nacher cannot
go. I endoord hunger and cold — I saw the rags drop off
my muskeler limbs wun by wun — I murmured not. But,
wen the pantaloons wuz awl gone, wen my costoom wuz a
blanket and wun shoe, and I applide for new pants, and the
quarter-master onfeelinly remarkt that my dress wuz all rite —
that hereafter my costoom wuz to be adoptid ez the uniform
uv the regiment — I feel that desershun wuz no longer a crime,
and I deserted. It is entirely onnessary to rekount awl I endoored
in makin my eskape. Suffice it to say, that at Columbus
I stript the klose off uv an innebriatid solger, and made
my way to Amandy Township. My old Dimekratik friends
did not kno me, and ez I expected to borry money uv them, I
deemed it best not to make myself known.

They were suspishus uv my bloo kote at fust, until wun uv
them remarkt how I likt the serviss?

To wich I answered, “Dam the serviss!”

“Don't admire fitin for the nigger, eh?”

“Not any,” sez I.

“Why not desert?” sez he.

“I hev deserted,” sez I.

In a instant the aspeck uv things wuz changed. A jug
wuz prodoost, and they awl shook hands. Wun, more richer
nor the rest, handed me a treasury note uv $10, sayin, “You
may need it.”

I replide that, as a general thing, I wood hev nothin to do
with any paper that bore the babboon likeness uv the usurper
and tyrent Linkin; but, under the cirkumstances, I wood endoor
it until I cood get it changed into Ingeany money. They

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took up a collekshun to-wunst, for my benefit, which amounted
to 43 dollars.

Jest at this pint wun uv em asked me to what regiment I
belonged. I replied, “The Loozeaner Pelikins.”

“Loozeaner!” sed another; “why, that's a Confedracy regiment,
aint it?”

“To be sure,” sez I.

“And are yoo a deserter from a Suthrin regiment?” sez the
benevolent old butternut who hed invested $10 in the deserter
biznis.

“Sartin,” sez I.

Seezin me by the throat, he ejackulated, “Give me my
money, you swindler!” And with a unanimity trooly surprisin,
they awl yelled, “Give me my money, you swindler —
you got it under false pretences.” Hevin the money safe in my
pockit, I took these compliments with ekanimity, sidlin out and
gettin away ez soon ez possible.

I am disappointed in Amandy. Frum wat I hed heard, I hed
supposed they were kind to deserters. I find that it makes
much difference wich side you desert from.