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People is queer. Humanity, pertiklerly Amerikin
humanity, vewd from a Dimekratik stand-pint,
is a inscrootable mystery. To the undersined
it 's a staggrer.

For instance.

The normel instinks uv mankind is not 2 work.
Dimokrasy hez bin a holdin out to the Amerikin
peeple the priceless boon uv nigger slaivry—the
onspeekible happinis uv hevin others swet for
em—uv passin a lifetime a suckin mint-juleps
thro straws, and smokin ten-cent cigars, on the
work uv others. It wuz regectid.

I wuz a thinkin the matter over to-nite, and I
wuz shockt at the remarkable yoonanimity with
wich evry distinktiv measure perposed by the
Dimokrasy hez bin repoodiatid by the people.

We told em the South wood rebel, ef they votid
for Linkin. They votid for Linkin.

We told em greenbax and guverment bonds

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wood be entirely worthless. They take the greenbax,
and subscribe for the bonds with a loosenis
onparalleled.

We told em they cood never whip the South.
They went in and are whippin the South, with
neetnis and dispatch.

We warned em agin drafts, and sich. They go
and vote for drafts—indeed, I heerd wun recreant
Dimekrat observe that he rayther liked a draft
wunst or twict per annum, they varied the monotony.
“And then,” sed he, “a feller feels so
good when he finds he ain't drawd.”

We told em the war wood go on ef Linkin wuz
re-electid. They went and re-electid Linkin.

We told em that any interference with slaivry
wood rooin North and South. They abolisht it in
a lump.

In short, the peeple is crazy. Watever the
Dimokrasy endorses, the peeple rejex; watever
the Dimokrasy recommends, the peeple condemn.
I 'm convinst uv the trooth uv the Millerite doctrine—
the end uv the world is at hand.

Ez for me, I care not how soon it comes. Life
is not measured by yeers. I am 3 skore in yeers,
but I hev consoomed enuff whisky for a man uv
a hundred. Therefore I am reddy. Whenever

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the Dimokrasy finally pegs out, I want to go likewise,
for with it my mishn is ended.