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The dy is cast! All is ore! Ef Freedom
shreekt wen Kossikusco fell, she must hev squawkt
last Toosdy nite ez she beheld the innanymait
corpse uv the Dimekratik party, which fell, crushing
Little Mack, and the hopes uv sum hundreds
uv thowsens uv good Dimekrats, who spectid to
be persuadid by ther frends in2 acceptin the various
offisis under the guvment.

I am a lost and rooined man. My peeple are
uv the troo Dimekratik stripe. They hev faith
in me. They bleeve wat I tell em. I told em
Micklellan wuz certin uv the elecshun, and that
I hed ded-wood on the disposle uv the offisis in
that seckshun. It immejitly bekum a eezy matter
to borrer munny. It wuz deliteful—wood, O
wood that it cood hev bin perpetooal. Brother
Savij lent me $50, with a request that I wood
speek a good word for him for a furrin mishn. I
assoomd a virchus look, and replide that I never
sold my inflooense, but that I alluz had a admirashen
for his massiv intellek and menny

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virchoos. Brother Guttle lent me munny, wantin
this, and Brother Sludge wantin that; in breef,
evry indivijjle uv em who hed a forehed a inch
high, spectid suthin. * * *

The returns cum in. Ohio—Linkin! “Good!
'Rah!” shouts I, with grate presence uv mind.

“Why good?” anxshusly asks the expectants.

“Becoz, to carry Ohio, the Ablishnists must
hev brot votes from Noo York, wich will give us
that Stait, shoor.”

Noo York—Linkin!

“Good Lord!” ansers I, promptly; “the Noo
York Ablishnists must hev votid in Ohio, and
hev got home in time 2 vote agin. But wait for
Pennsilwany.”

Pennsilwany—Linkin!

“My frends, ther wuz fraud—Massychusits soljers,
at leest 40,000, must hev votid there. Injeana
will do it, however.”

Injeana—Linkin!

“Not less than 40,000 Massychusits soljers hev
votid there. Illinois is safe, though.”

Illinois—Linkin.

“40,000 Massychu—”

“Give me my munny!” roard Savij, and the
same remark, with variashens, wuz made by Guttle,
Sludge, and the rest uv em.

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“Gently, my frends,” sed I, backin out uv the
door. “We hev bin defeetid, but the grate principple
that a white man is better than a nigger,
for wich we hev so long fought, still lives. Let
us sink all miner considrashens, and”—

The miner considerashens I referred to wuz,
however, uppermost in their minds, for they all
went for me, yellin like Cuscororious Injins, “Give
me my munny!” whereupon I retreeted 2 the
meetin-house, lockin myself in. They surroundid
it, swarin they 'd starve me out.

When a innocent boy, I red a harrowin tale
uv a Rooshn muther, who wuz persood by frantic
wolves, and who saved her own life by droppin
her children to em, wun by wun. My privit barel
uv whisky wuz in my study—I wuz saved! I
histid it out uv a winder, and calmly awaited results.
They flockt around it—they took turns
at the bung-hole. In wun short hour they wuz
stretched helpless on the plane, ded drunk. Then
and there I resined my charge, and borrerin sich
munny and watches ez the ungrateful wretches
hed about em, to make up arrears uv salary and
sich, bid adoo 2 em furever. I shell go 2 Noo
Gersy.