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Locke, David Ross, 1833-1888 [1866], Divers views, opinions, and prophecies of yoors trooly, Petroleum V. Nasby. (R. W. Carroll & Co., Cincinnati) [word count] [eaf631T].

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CV. SONNIT-2 A SKEETER.

[figure description] Page 371.[end figure description]

RITTEN WHILE FITIN THE CUSSES.

Skeeter! you'm with us wunst agin! you'm cum
With sting uv strength—with teeth uv wondrous power,
Agin to vex us in the midnite hour,
With sleep-disturbin buz—with rest-destroyin hum.
Yoor here, and yoo 've a mishun,* 't is to bite
Awl sorts uv peeple, and 2 suck their blood,
Wich yoo perform jest ez a lawyer wood,
Only they bete yoo at it a darnation site.
Now sportivly yoo cup a old man's thigh,
And then, O luxury, yoo pierce a maden's neck,†
Then in2 childhood's brest yoor lance yoo stick;
Thus, like a epiqr, frum swete to swete yoo fly,
And frum eech fountin drinkin long and deep,
Like old McBeth, Esq., yoo murder sleep.
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* Most fokes who hev a mishun air, like the skeeter, meerly suckers.

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† Wunst only did I envy the skeeter. I wuz a settin onto a rockincheer,
and Hanner Ann wuz on my knee. A skeeter, who hed a eye for
the bootiful, lit onto her buzzum. “Hanner Ann,” sez I, syin. “Wat?”
sez she. “Wood, O, wood that I wuz a skeeter,” sez I, lookin ez tenderly
ez I cood, considrin that she wuz 190 pounds in heft, and I hed
bin a holdin uv her 2 hours—“wood that I wuz a skeeter, and hed my
bill where he hez hizn!” “Petroleum,” sed she, histerikly, givin me a
hug that lamed me for 6 weeks, “spozn yoo play skeeter!” I did so,
but, alas! 3 weeks after she died from eetin green currants, and went to
that land where skeeters is unknown, and where currants is ever ripe.
Then did I take 2 poetizin, and her untimely deth akounts for the vane
uv sadnis that runs thro my effoosions.

-- 372 --

p631-371
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Locke, David Ross, 1833-1888 [1866], Divers views, opinions, and prophecies of yoors trooly, Petroleum V. Nasby. (R. W. Carroll & Co., Cincinnati) [word count] [eaf631T].