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It is no part of my design in the compilation of this little
history to preserve the form of a regular, chronological narrative
of the course of events in Quodlibet; for although the
material for such a continuous recital abounds in the memoranda
which I have preserved, yet it seems better to suit
the purpose of the respectable committee who have invoked
me to this labor, that I should rather make excerpts from
the mass of my papers, in such wise as to bring before my
reader the condition of the Borough at several epochs, with
an occasional reference to such incidents as may serve to
explain the opinions of our people and illustrate the course
of that beautiful system of politics which the world—I
mean that world of which our Borough is the centre—has
consented to honor with the epithet of Quodlibetarian; and
in which designation, in my poor judgment, is comprehended
the essence of the true theory by which this nation has
advanced to its present unparalleled state of prosperity and
grandeur.

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Following this suggestion, I propose now to lead my
reader to that epoch in the annals of the Borough which
dates in the fourth year after the Removal, or, in the vernacular
computation, the year of 1836-7. The population
of Quodlibet had now reached to the astonishing amount
of five hundred and eighty odd souls—the increase being
altogether without an example in the history of civilization,
excepting, perhaps, in that of Milwaukie, Navarino,
and some other of those seemingly incredible and fabulous
creations of art which are said to have sprung up under the
beneficent auspices of the Quodlibetarian theory, as the
same has been practised in this government for some few
years past. Quodlibet, I repeat, had reached in population
upwards of five hundred and eighty inhabitants, as was
ascertained by a diligent enumeration made under the direction
of our New Light Club, with a view to the election of
a constable held this year in the Borough;—and when we
reflect that at the date of the removal, the whole settlement
fell short of one hundred persons all told, it will be perceived
that in three years our increase has exceeded five
hundred per cent.!! Verily, neither London, Athens, nor
Palmyra, Karnac, Luxor, nor even Milwaukie itself, I doubt,
has ever manifested so prolific an augmentation.

Nicodemus Handy's row of stores on the Basin was the
first improvement, as I have already informed my reader;
then Copperplate Ridge was studded with buildings; at the
same time Flam street was enriched with the bank and
seven brick dwellings; then came the Female Lyceum, with
the Town Hall in the second story of the same building,
Peter Ounce's Boatman's Hotel on the other side of the
Basin, the Hay Scales, Zachary Younghusband, the tinplate
worker's shop, and Dr. Thomas G. Winkelman's Druggist
Store and Soda Water Pavilion. These, as well as I can
recollect, were the principal establishments erected in

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Quodlibet in the three years I have referred to. There were a
number of private houses built in this period, and a whole
settlement of free negroes made below the Basin, on the line
of the canal. I ought to mention, too, that Nicodemus
Handy this year dug out the foundations and, I believe,
built the cellar walls of a second row of stores and of a new
Hotel designed on a very large scale, with extensive baths
to be attached to it. These buildings, it pains me to say, in
advance, never got higher than the first story, as I shall be
obliged to relate hereafter.

The bank did a sweeping business all this time; and
nothing can be conceived more beautiful than the theory
upon which it was conducted. It has run out of my memory
how many new bales of pink silk paper were turned off
by it, but the amount would scarcely be believed if I were
to set it down; and the accommodation principle was carried
out to an extent that must have been truly gratifying to the
secretary. Still even this most exemplary institution did
not escape the malevolence of the Whigs. That ever-complaining
party, as the Hon. Middleton Flam assured us by
letter, were making a great ado in congress about all the
banks, but particularly about ours—alleging, in their usual
factious manner, that the government would lose money by
us, as well as by the others.

Deeming this charge as one of peculiar atrocity, we at
once determined to take it up in our New Light Club, and
stamp upon it the most conclusive refutation. We accordingly
fixed an evening for the discussion, during Christmas
week, when we knew that our member would be at home
to visit his family; and he was of course invited to attend
and give his views upon this very interesting question. The
meeting was in the Town Hall up stairs above the Female
Lyceum. All Quodlibet was present. I shall be long thankful
to Providence for the dignified station which it fell to my

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lot to fill on that memorable occasion. By a most unexpected
but most felicitous chance, I was honored that night with a
call to the chair; the worthy Mr. Snuffers, our president, not
being able to attend in consequence of the interesting condition
of Mrs. Snuffers. As the subject of discussion was one
of thrilling interest, the most intense anxiety prevailed to hear
the speech of our eloquent representative. He came fully prepared,
bringing with him a load of documents. Our Vice, Mr.
Doubleday, who is a solid thinking, shrewd person, of that
maturity of judgment which it is impossible to impose upon,
and himself, by the by, a first rate debater, told me, after
we broke up, that Mr. Flam's diccourse that evening on the
banking system at large and on the safety of the banks in
particular, was one of the closest pieces of reasoning he had
ever listened to in his life. I regret that I have preserved
so imperfect an outline of this speech, but such as it is I
offer it to my reader.

The orator commenced very appropriately by remarking
how impossible it was, in the nature of things, to satisfy
the Whigs on any point. He said there were three parties
in Congress: First, the Whigs—who still croaked about a
National Bank—and his description of their croaking was
to the last degree humorous; it produced peals of laughter:
Second, the thorough-going Quodlibetarian Whole Hogs,
who were steadfast and immovable for the State Banks; and
a Third party, small in numbers, “attenuated”—as he remarked
with irresistibly comic effect—“and gaunt; feeble,
shrill, and like crickets who might scarcely be seen in day
time;” and who, when the bill to Regulate the Deposites
was up, presented what, in his opinion, was the most alarming,
if it had not been the most ridiculous scheme, in relation
to the public money that had ever been hatched in the
hot bed of faction. These men, he said called themselves
Conservatives: “And what think you, Mr. President”—he

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asked—“was their project? It was, sir, to separate the
Government from the Banks.” Here Mr. Flam was interrupted
by a loud laugh. “A Mr. Gordon,” he said, “was
at the head of this little troop. He proposed a bill, two
sessions ago, to place the revenue and public monies in
the hands of Receivers—the monies were to be paid to these
Receivers in GOLD and SILVER! and no bank was to be entrusted
with a dollar!! And this,” exclaimed Mr. Flam, with
a tone of inimitable irony, “was to be done for the SAFETY
of the public Treasure! Your money not safe in the hands
of the Banks, but perfectly secure in the keeping of these
honest Receivers, who were to be furnished with vaults and
iron chests to lock it up in!!! Oh rare Conservatives!—
Oh wise Conservatives!—Oh honest Conservatives!”

We all thought the ceiling of the Town Hall would have
toppled down on our heads from the laughter occasioned by
this sally. In this admirable strain he continued for some
minutes. At length, taking himself up, and falling into a tone
of grave expostulation, he pulled out a copy of The Globe
from his pocket, and proceeded—

“Admirably, sir, has this paper which I hold in my hand,
descanted on this most wicked project. These well-timed
remarks, I beg leave to read. Hear the incomparable Blair.
`Had such a suggestion, says he, come from General Jackson,
it would have been rung through the Old Dominion as
conclusive proof of all the aspirations which may have been
charged to the Hero of New Orleans. See here, they would
say, he wishes to put the public money directly into the
palms of his friends and partisans, instead of keeping it on
deposite in Banks, whence it cannot be drawn, for other
than public purposes, without certain detection. In such a
case, we should feel that the people had just cause for alarm,
and ought to give their most watchful attention to such an
effort to enlarge Executive power, and put in its hands

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the means of corruption.” “Most admirably again,” continued
Mr. Flam, “has this same incomparable Blair said,”
`The scheme is disorganising and revolutionary, subversive
of the fundamental principles of our government, and
of its practice from 1780 down to this day.' “Will you,
freemen of Quodlibet, gentlemen of The New Light,” exclaimed
Mr. Flam, “if faction should go so far as to put this
odious, disorganising and revolutionary yoke upon the
country, will you, freemen of Quodlibet, submit to it?”

“No!” shouted the ready response of sixty-four voices—

“Gentlemen, listen to the words of the Old Hero”—continued
Mr. Flam, with a gratulatory smile playing on his
face, presenting at the same time, a printed document which
he carefully unfolded—“listen to that `old man eloquent'
whose mouth is never opened but to breathe the precepts of
wisdom and patriotism:—I read you from his last message.
In remarking upon this absurd project, the President, in this
able paper, holds the following language; `To retain the
Public Revenue in the Treasury unemployed in any way,
is impracticable. It is considered against the genius of
our free institutions to lock up in vaults the treasure of the
Nation. Such a Treasure would doubtless be employed
at some time, as it has in other countries, when opportunity
tempted ambition.' “Now are you willing, Men of
Quodlibet,” again ejaculated our eloquent representative, as
he slapped the document upon the table, “are you willing,
or can you consent to tolerate a proposition, which is against
the genius—

“No!”—thundered forth sixty-four New Lights again,
before our orator had finished the sentence.

“Order, order! freemen of Qodlibet,” I called out, as it
was my duty to do, at this interruption. “Hear our distinguished
representative to an end, before you respond.”

There was a decorous silence.

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“A proposition,” continued Mr. Flam, “which is against
the genius of our free institutions, and which would be a
lure to tempt ambition to its most unholy purposes?”

The club looked at me for a sign, and I, quickly giving a
nod of my head, a loud “No” ran over the whole room, like
a feu de joie fired off at a militia training.

“Now, gentlemen,” said Mr. Flam, “one word as to the
safety of these deposites. Whigs—oh that some of you
were present, to mark how a plain tale shall put you down!
I have here the secretary's own report,” he added, as he
selected one from the bundle of documents which lay before
him. “There is no need for many words here—here is
Mr. Secretary Woodbury himself, than whom a more pellucid,
diaphonous, transparent Secretary of the treasury—a
mind of rock crystal, a head of sunbeams, a soul, sir, of
pure fountain water, that gurgles and gurgles, perpetually
welling forth its unadulterated intelligence in a purling
stream, of which it may be said, in the beautiful language
of the poet of antiquity

Here I gave a nod, by way of signal to the club, to
applaud this splendid outbreak of Ciceronian eloquence;
whereat the New Lights vociferated: “Bravo—three times
three!” and made the house ring with their approbation——
“I say, sir, I have Mr. Secretary Woodbury himself here
present.”—

Several of the members, not being accustomed to this
parliamentary language, took the orator literally, and rose to
welcome Mr. Senator Woodbury; but a word from me explained
matters, and brought the club again to order.—

“The secretary, gentlemen New Lights,” said Mr. Flam,
adroitly availing himself of the occasion to throw off a

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corruscation of wit—“the secretary lives in his Reports—profound,
statesmanlike, recondite and deep, his report is in
my hand—it is himself! I will read you what he says upon
this matter of the safety of the banks.”

Here Mr. Flam read as follows, from a Report, dated
Dec. 12, 1834:

“It is gratifying to reflect, however, that the credit given by
the government, whether to bank paper or bank agents, has been
accompanied by SMALLER LOSSES in the experience under the
system of state banks in this country, at their worst periods, and
under their severest calamities, than any other kind of credit the
government has ever given in relation to its pecuniary transactions.”
“Again,” he continued, turning to another page—“It
is a singular fact, in praise of this description of public debtors—
the selected banks—that there is not now due, on deposite, in
the whole of them, which have ever stopped payment, from the
establishment of the constitution to the present moment, a sum
much beyond what is now due to the United States from one
mercantile firm, that stopped payment in 1825 or 1826, and of
whom ample security was required, and supposed to be taken
under the responsibility of an oath. If we include the whole
present dues to the government from discredited banks at all
times, and of all kinds, whether as depositories or not, and embrace
even counterfeit bills, and every other species of unavailable
funds in the treasury, they will not exceed what is due from
two such firms. Of almost one hundred banks, not depositories,
which, during all our wars and commercial embarrassments,
have heretofore failed, in any part of the Union, in debt to the
government, on their bills or otherwise, it will be seen by the
above table (to which Mr. Flam referred as annexed to the report)
that the whole of them, except seventeen, have adjusted
every thing which they owed, and that the balance due from
them, without interest, is less than $32,000.”

“There, gentlemen New Lights of Quodlibet,” said Mr.
Flam, when he had finished reading these extracts, “what
can be added beyond this certificate from the secretary, of

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the value of our State Banks? Even the lips of whiggism
are sealed before it; and nothing is left but the confession
that, in all their senseless clamor against our favorite and
long tried State Bank system, the course of its enemies has
been but the ebullition of disappointed ambition and peevish
discontent. Are you willing, I ask, to see this glorious
system prostrated to the earth?”

“No!” was again the general cry.

“Are you content to see your cherished banks stripped
of the confidence of the government?”

“No—never, never!” shouted the New Lights to a man.

“Then, gentlemen Quodlibetarians, radii of the New
Lights, you have justified all my hopes. Your applause
rewards all my toils—your support and confidence enlist all
my gratitude. With emotions of heart-felt satisfaction, I
bid you each good night!”

With these words, this remarkable man gathered up his
documents, and, with a countenance full of smiles, retired
from the midst of this circle of his devoted—yes, I may
say, his idolizing friends.

p239-080

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