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Kennedy, John Pendleton, 1795-1870 [1840], Quodlibet: containing some annals thereof: with an authentic account of the origin and growth of the borough (Lea & Blanchard, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf239].
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CHAPTER I.

ANTIQUITIES OF QUODLIBET.—MICHAEL GRANT'S TANYARD DESTROYED
BY THE CANAL.—CONSEQUENCES OF THIS EVENT.—TWO DISTINGUISHED
INDIVIDUALS TAKE UP THEIR RESIDENCE IN THE BOROUGH.—
ESTABLISHMENT OF THE PATRIOTIC COPPERPLATE BANK.—CIRCUMSTANCES
WHICH LED TO AND FOLLOWED THAT MEASURE.—MICHAEL
GRANT'S OBJECTIONS TO IT.

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It was at the close of the year 1833—or rather, I should
say, at the opening of the following spring, that our Borough
of Quodlibet took that sudden leap to greatness, which has,
of late, caused it to be so much talked about. Our folks
are accustomed to set this down to the Removal of the Deposites.
Indeed, until that famous event, Quodlibet was,
as one might say in common parlance, a place not worth
talking about—it might hardly be remarked upon the maps.
But since that date, verily, like Jeshurun, it has waxed fat.
It has thus come to pass that “The Removal” is a great epoch
in our annals—our Hejirah—the A. U. C. of all Quodlibetarians.

Michael Grant, a long time ago—that is to say, full twenty

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years—had a tanyard on Rumblebottom creek, occupying
the very ground which is now covered by the canal basin.
Even as far back as that day, he had laid up, out of the
earnings of his trade, a snug sum of money which sufficed
to purchase the farm where he now lives at the foot of the
Hogback. Quodlibet, or that which now is Quodlibet, was
then as nothing. Michael's dwelling house and tanyard,
Abel Brawn's blacksmith shop, Christy M'Curdy's mill
and my schoolhouse made up the sum total of the settlement.
It is now ten years, or hard on to it, since the commissioners
came this way and put the cap-sheaf on Michael's
worldly fortune by ruining his tanyard and breaking up his
business, whereof the damage was so taken to heart by the
jury, that, in their rage against internal improvements, they
brought in a verdict which doubled Mr. Grant's estate in
ready money, besides leaving him two acres of town lots
bordering on the Basin, and which, they say, are worth
more to-day than the whole tanyard with its appurtenances
ever was worth in its best time. This verdict wrought a
strange appetite in our county, amongst the landholders, to
be ruined in the same way; and I truly believe it was a
chief cause of the unpopularity of internal improvements in
this neighbourhood, that the commissioners were only able
to destroy the farms on the lowlands—which fact, it was
said, brought down the price of the uplands on the whole
line of the canal, besides creating a great deal of ill humor
amongst all who were out of the way of being damaged.

With the money which this verdict brought him, Mr.
Grant improved a part of his two acres—which he was
persuaded to cut up into town lots—by building the brick
tavern and the store that stands next door to it. These
were the first buildings of any note in Quodlibet, and are
generally supposed to have given rise to the incorporation
of the Borough by the Legislature. Jesse Ferret took a lease

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of the tavern as soon as it was finished, and set up the sign
of “The Hero”—meaning thereby General Jackson—
which, by the by, was the first piece of historical painting
that the celebrated Quipes ever attempted. The store was
rented by Frederick Barndollar for his son Jacob, who was
just then going to marry Ferret's daughter Susan, and open
in the Iron and Flour Forwarding and Commission line, in
company with Anthony Hardbottle, his own brother-in-law.

This was the state of things in Quodlibet five years before
“The Removal,” from which period, up to the date of the
Removal, although Barndollar & Hardbottle did a tolerable
business, and Ferret had a fair run of custom, there were
not above a dozen new tenements built in the Borough.
But a bright destiny was yet in reserve for Quodlibet; and
as I propose to unfold some incidents of its history belonging
to these later times, I cannot pretermit the opportunity
now afforded me to glance, though in a perfunctory and
hasty fashion, at some striking events which seemed to presignify
and illustrate its marvellously sudden growth.

I think it was in the very month of the Removal of the
Deposites, that Theodore Fog broke up at Tumbledown, on
the other side of the Hog Back, and came over to Quodlibet to
practise law. And it was looked upon as a very notable
thing, that, in the course of the following winter, Nicodemus
Handy should have also quitted Tumbledown and
brought his sign, as a lottery agent, to Quodlibet, and set
up that business in our Borough. There was a wonderful
intimacy struck up between him and Fog, and a good many
visits were made by Nicodemus during the fall, before he
came over to settle. Our people marvelled at this matter,
and were not a little puzzled to make out the meaning of it,
knowing that Nicodemus Handy was a shrewd man, and
not likely, without some good reason for it, to strike up a
friendship with a person so little given to business as

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Theodore Fog—against whom I desire to say nothing, holding
his abilities in great respect, but meaning only to infer that
as Theodore is considered high-flown in his speech, and
rather too fond of living about Ferret's bar-room, it was
thought strange that Nicodemus, who is plain spoken, and of
the Temperance principle, should have taken up with him.
It was not long after Mr. Handy had seated himself in
Quodlibet, and placed his sign at the door of a small weather-boarded
office, ten feet by twelve, and within a stone
throw of Fog's, before the public were favored with an insight
into the cause of this intimacy between these two
friends. This was disclosed in a plan for establishing The
Patriotic Copper-Plate Bank of Quodlibet, the particulars
whereof were made known at a meeting held in the dining
room of “The Hero” one evening in March, when Theodore
Fog made a flowery speech on the subject to ten
persons, counting Ferret and Nim Porter the bar-keeper.
The capital of the bank was proposed to be half a million,
and the stock one hundred dollars a share, of which one
dollar was to be paid in, and the remainder to be secured
by promissory notes payable on demand, if convenient.

This excellent scheme found many supporters; and, accordingly,
when the time came for action, the whole amount
was subscribed by Handy and Fog and ten of their particular
friends, who had an eye to being directors and officers
of the bank—to whom might also be added about thirty boatmen,
who, together with the boys of my academy, lent
their names to Mr. Handy.

Through the liberality of Fog, the necessary cash was
supplied out of three hundred dollars, the remains of a
trust fund in his hands belonging to a family of orphans in
the neighborhood of Tumbledown, who had not yet had
occasion to know from their attorney, the said Theodore
Fog himself, of their success in a cause relating to this fund

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which had been gained some months before. As Nicodemus
managed the subscriptions, which indeed he did with
wonderful skill, these three hundred dollars went a great
way in making up the payments on considerably more than
the majority of the stock: and this being adjusted, he undertook
a visit to the Legislature, where, through the disinterested
exertions of some staunch democratic friends, he procured
a most unexceptionable charter for the bank, full of
all sorts of provisions, conditions and clauses necessary to
enable it to accommodate the public with as much paper
money as the said public could possibly desire.

In consideration of these great services, Nicodemus Handy
elected himself Cashier; and, at the same time, had well
nigh fallen into a quarrel with Fog who had set his heart
upon being President—which, in view of the fact that that
gentleman's habits were somewhat irregular after twelve
o'clock in the day, Nicodemus would by no means consent
to. This dissention, however, was seemingly healed, by
bringing in as President, my worshipful pupil, the honorable
Middleton Flam, now our member of Congress, and by
making Theodore one of the directors, besides giving him
the law business of the bank. It was always thought, notwithstanding
Fog pretended to be satisfied at the time with
this arrangement, that it rankled in his bosom, and bred a
jealousy between him and his associates in the bank, and
helped to drive him to drinking faster than he would naturally
have done, if his feelings had not been aggravated by
this act of supposed ingratitude.

I should not omit to mention that Nicodemus Handy was
a man of exact and scrupulous circumspection, and noted
for the deliberation with which he weighed the consequences
of his actions, or, as the common saying is, “looked
before he leapt”—a remarkable proof of which kind of wisdom
he afforded at this time. Having been compelled by

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circumstances to live beyond the avails of his lottery business,
and thereby to bring himself under some impracticable
liabilities, he made it a point of conscience before he could
permit himself to be clothed with the dignity of a cashier,
or even to place a share of stock in his own name on the
books,s to swear out in open court, and to surrender, for the
benefit of his numerous and patient creditors, his whole
stock of worldly goods—consisting, according to the inventory
thereof on record, which I have seen, of a cylindrical
sheet-iron stove, two chairs, a desk and a sign-board, this
latter being, as I remember, of the shape of a screen, on
each leaf of which, “Nicodemus Handy” was printed, together
with the scheme of a lottery, set forth in large red
and blue letters. He barely retained what the law allowed
him, being his mere wearing apparel; to wit, a bran new
suit of black superfine Saxony, one dozen of the best cambric
linen shirts, as many lawn pocket handkerchiefs, white
kid gloves, and such other trivial, but gentlemanlike appurtenances
as denoted that extreme neatness of dress in which
Mr. Handy has ever taken a just pride, and which has been
so often remarked by his friends as one of the strong points
in his character. These articles, it was said, he had procured
not more with a provident eye to that state of destitution,
into which the generous surrender of his property was
about to plunge him, than with a decent regard to the respectability
of appearance which the public, he conceived,
had a right to exact from the Cashier of the Patriotic Copperplate
Bank of Quodlibet. All right-minded persons will
naturally commend this prudence, and applaud Mr. Handy's
sense of the dignity proper to so important and elevated a
station—a station which Theodore Fog, in his speech at
“The Hero,” so appropriately eulogised as one “of financial,
fiscal and monetary responsibility.”

There was one circumstance connected with the history

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of the establishment of the Bank that excited great observation
amongst our folks:—that was the dislike Michael Grant
took up against it from its very beginning. It was an indiscriminate,
unmitigable, dogged dislike to the whole concern,
which, by degrees, brought him into a bad opinion of our
Borough, and I verily believe was the cause why, from that
time forward, he kept himself so much at his farm near the
Hog Back and grew to be, as if it were out of mere opposition,
so unhappily, and indeed I may say, so perversely stubborn
in those iniquitous Whig sentiments which he was in the
habit of uttering. I have heard him say that he thought as
badly as a man could think, of the grounds for starting the
Bank, and still worse of the men who started it;—which,
certainly, was a very rash expression, considering that our
congressman, the Hon. Middleton Flam, was President and
one of the first patrons of the institution, and that such a
man as Nicodemus Handy was Cashier; to say nothing of
Theodore Fog, whose habits we are willing to confess,
might, in the estimation of some men, give some little color
to my worthy friend's vituperation.

Now, there was no man in Quodilbet whom Handy and
Fog so much desired, or strove so hard, to bring into the
Bank scheme as Mr. Grant. They made every sort of
effort and used all kinds of arguments to entice him. Nicodemus
Handy on one occasion, I think it was in April,
put the matter to him in such strong points of view, that I
have often marvelled since how the good gentleman stood
it. He argued, with amazing cogency, that General Jackson
had removed the deposites for the express purpose of
destroying the Bank of the United States, and giving the
State Banks a fair field: that the Old Hero was an enthusiastic
friend to State Rights, and especially to State Banks
which it was the desire of his heart to see increased and
multiplied all over the country; that he was actually, as it

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were, making pets out of these Banks, and was determined
to feed them up with the public monies and give them such
a credit in the land as would forever shut out all hope to the
friends of a National Bank to succeed with their purpose:
and finally that although Clay and the Whigs were endeavoring
to resist the General in his determination to establish
New Banks in the States, that resistance was already
considered hopeless. It was with a visible air of triumph
that Mr. Handy in confirmation of this opinion read from
the Globe of the 21st of December previous, these words:

“The Intelligent people of the West know how to maintain their rights and independence and to repel oppression. Although
foiled in the beginning, every Western State is about to establish
a State Bank institution. They are resolved to avail themselves
of their own state credit, as well as of the National credit, to
maintain a currency independent of foreign control. Mr. Clay's
presses in Kentucky begin now to feel how vain are all their
efforts to resist the determination of the people of the West.
Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and Kentucky are resolved to
take care of themselves, and no longer depend on the kind guardianship
of Biddle, Clay & Co.”

Having laid this fact before Mr. Grant, by way of clinching
the argument Mr. Handy pulled out of his pocket a letter
which he had just received from the Secretary of the Treasury.
It contained a communication of the deepest import
to the future fortunes of our Borough; which communication,
as I have been favoured by Mr. Handy with a copy,
I feel happy to transcribe here for the edification of my
reader. It is a circular, and came to our cashier printed
on gilt edged letter paper, having the title of the Bank, the
date and some other items filled up in writing.

Treasury Department, April 1, 1834.

“Sir:—The Patriotic Copper-plate Bank of Quodlibet has
been selected by this department as the depository of the public

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money collected in Quodlibet and its vicinity; and the Marshal
will hand you the form of a contract proposed to be executed,
with a copy of his instructions from this department. In selecting
your institution as one of the fiscal agents of the government,
I not only rely on its solidity and established character, as
affording a sufficient guarantee for the safety of the public money
entrusted to its keeping, but I confide also in its disposition to
adopt the most liberal course which circumstances will admit,
towards other moneyed institutions generally, and particularly
those in your vicinity. The deposites of the public money will
enable you to afford increased facilities to commerce, and to extend
your accommodations to individuals; and as the duties which
are payable to the government arise from the business and enterprise
of the merchants engaged in foreign trade, it is but reasonable
that they should be preferred in the additional accommodations
which the public deposites will enable your institution to
give, whenever it can be done without injustice to the claims of
other classes of the community.

“I am, &c.
R. B. TANEY,
Secretary of the Treasury.

To the President of the Patriotic Copper-plate Bank of Quodlibet.”

“There, sir,”—said Mr. Handy, after he had read this
paper to Mr. Grant—“read that over again and tell me if there
is any Quodlibetarian that ought not to rejoice in this great
event, and lend his endeavors, with both heart and soul to
promote and sustain an institution so favored by the government.
The secretary, you perceive, has confidence in the
`solidity and established character' of our bank—how can
you refuse your confidence after that? Sir, the Secretary
is an honor to the democracy of Quodlibet:—what does he
say? Does he tell us to keep the public moneys locked up
only for the selfish purposes of the government? Oh no:
far from it; `the deposites,' says he, `will enable you to
afford increased facilities to commerce, and to extend your
accommodations to individuals.' Mark that! there's a

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President and Secretary for you! True friends, Mr. Grant—
true friends to the people. How careful are they of our
great mercantile and trading classes! Sir, the government
cannot do too much for such people as we are—that's the
true democratic motto— we expect a great deal—but they
outrun our expectations. No more low prices for grain,
Mr. Grant—no more scarcity of money:—accommodation
is the word—better currency is the word—high prices,
good wages and plenty of work is the word now-a-days.
We shall have a city here before you can cleverly turn
yourself round. Depend upon it, sir, we are destined to
become a great, glorious and immortal people.”

“Sir,” said Theodore Fog, interposing at this moment,
with a look that wore a compound expression of thoughtful
sternness and poetical phrensy—“when the historic muse
shall hereafter contemplate the humble origin of Quodlibet—”

“Fog,” interrupted Nicodemus somewhat petulantly—
and I feel sorry to be obliged to record this inconsiderate
language, “D—n the historic muse—we are now on business.”

“As a director, sir,” replied Fog with a subdued air, but
with a dignified gravity, “I have a right to speak. I meant
to say, sir, in plain phrase, that Quodlibet must inevitably,
from this day forth, under the proud auspices of democratic
principles—obedient to that native impulse which the profound
statesmanship of this people-sustaining and people-sustained
administration, has imparted to it, soar aloft to
place herself upon the proud pinnacle of commercial prosperity,
wealth and power. I have no doubt, Mr. Grant,
your tavern lot will increase to three times its present value.
You ought to take stock;—let me tell you, sir, as a citizen of
Quodlibet, you ought. As to the cash, that's a bagatelle.
Handy and I can let you have any number of shares on

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your own terms. Flam will do any thing we say to let
you in. By the by, he got us the deposites. Flam's a
man of influence—but whether on the whole he will make
us the best President we could have procured, is perhaps
somewhat apocryphal.”

“You cannot fail to see,” said Mr. Handy, “that we
must all make our fortunes, if the government is only true
to its word; and who can doubt it will be true? We start
comparatively with nothing, I may say, speaking of myself—
absolutely with nothing. We shall make a large issue
of paper, predicated upon the deposites; we shall accomdate
every body, as the secretary desires—of course, not
forgetting our friends, and more particularly ourselves:—we
shall pay, in this way, our stock purchases.—You may run
up a square of warehouses on the Basin; I will join you as
a partner in the transaction, give you the plan of operations,
furnish architectural models, supply the funds, et cetera, et
cetera. We will sell out the buildings at a hundred per
cent. advance before they are finished; Fog here will be the
purchaser. We have then only to advertise in the papers
this extraordinary rise of property in Quodlibet—procure a
map to be made of our new city; get it lithographed, and
immediately sell the lots on the Exchange of New York at
a most unprecedented valuation. My dear sir, I have just
bought a hundred acres of land adjoining the Borough, with
an eye to this very speculation. You shall have an interest
of one half in this operation at a reasonable valuation—I
shall want but a small profit, say two hundred per cent.—
a mere trifle—in consideration of my labors in laying it
off into streets, lanes and alleys;—and if there is any convenience
in it to you—although I know you are a moneyed
man—you have only to make a proposal for a slice of accommodation—
just drop a note now and then into the discount
box—you understand? The Secretary will be

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delighted, my dear sir, to hear of our giving an accommodation
to you. But there's one thing, Mr. Grant, I must not
forget to remark—the Secretary, in fact, makes it a sort of
sine qua non—you must come out a genuine—declare yourself
a Whole Hog—and go for Flam in the fall elections.
The Secretary expects, you know,”—and as he said this he
laid his finger significantly upon his nose, “that the accommodation
principle—you know—is to be measurably—extended—
you know—in proportion to the—democracy—of
the applicants—you understand?—a word to the wise—
that's all. It could n't be expected, you perceive, that we,
holding the deposites, should be quite as favorable to the
Whigs, who rather charge us with experimenting on the
currency—you know—and who, in fact, don't scruple to
say that our banking system will be a failure—it could n't
be expected we should be as bountiful to them as to those
who go with us in building up this concatenation—tweedle
dum and tweedle dee, you know, betwixt you and me;—
but it's made a point of—and has its effect on ulterior
expectations, you understand. The long and the short is,
without being mealy-mouthed, we must prefer the old
Hero's friends;—but, after all, that's a small matter:—be a
Democrat, and go for Flam!”

“Flam and the immutable principles of civil liberty!”
said Fog, with great animation. “Middleton Flam, the
embodyment and personification of those deep and profound
truths, based upon the eternal distinctions of the greatest
good to the greatest number! Diffusive wealth, combined
capital, increased facilities to commerce, and accommodation
to individuals—there is the multum in parvo of General
Jackson's democratic creed!—there is the glorious consummation
of the war with the great money power, which, like
Juggernaut, was crushing down the liberties of our republic!”

Michael Grant was a patient listener, and, ordinarily, a

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man of few words. He stood all the time that Fog and
Handy were plying him with this discourse, with his thumbs
in his waistcoat pockets, looking down, with a grum cogitation,
at his own image in the water of the basin, on the
margin of which the parties had met, and every now and
then rocking on his heels and flapping the soles of his feet
sharply on the ground, denoting, by this movement, to those
who knew his habit, that he was growing more and more
positive in his opinion. Once or twice he was observed to
raise his head, and, with one eye half shut, seemed as if
studying the heavens. At length he broke out with an
answer which, both from the vehemence of his tone and
the unusual volubility of his words, caused Handy and Fog
to prick up their ears, and gaze upon each other with a look
of incredulous surprise.

“Look you, gentlemen,” said he, “Nicodemas Handy
and Theodore Fog: You have never heard me say that
General Jackson was not a good general. I scorn to take
any thing away from the reputation of an old soldier—I
have never done it—I never mean to do it; I respect him
for his services: but, curse me, if I believe he knows any
more about banks than I do about bombshells! No, nor his
secretary neither; or, if he does, he is not man enough to say
NO to the General. As for this Patriotic Copperplate Bank
of Quodlibet, and others now springing up of the same
kidney, they are just so many new Egyptian plagues, which
our rascally magicians and false prophets have been conjuring
up to harass the people with. It won't be long before we
shall begin to find out that the frogs and the locusts and the
lice of Pharaoh's kingdom have been all outdone by these
new banks, which the General and his secretaries are so
busy to hatch. Do you know what is coming, Nicodemus
Handy? I'll tell you. Now your new banks are like these
thundergust mills, over here in the mountain: just as long as

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you have showers from the treasury, so long will your wheels
keep in motion; but the first dry spell at Washington shuts
you up, and disappoints the whole country side in their
grist. They are all eggs of the same basket, and this administration
will be known, by and by, as the Thundergust
Bank Administration. In four years from this day, there
will be twice as many of these paper machines, big and
little, as there are now; and bank notes will be thrashed out
as fast as chaff at the tail of a fan. The country will be
filled with toad stools—not mushrooms, for they are worth
something. We shall see your toad-stool great men fetching
up in a night, and ciphering out fortunes in a week. The
world will turn crazy after speculations—just such speculations
as your hundred acre purchase—bought without a cent
of money, and paid for by accommodation, granted on what
Fog here calls the great democratic principle. The public
lands will be grabbed at by every rascal who has cunning
and knavery enough to go to the President and his secretary,
and flatter them on their Democracy. He who can dip
deepest into that play will build towns for himself, lay out
farms for his children by the mile square, and make nabobs
of his sons; and, whilst he does so, he will vilify and bring
into contempt all honestly gathered wealth, and prate about
his friendship for the poor man, just to keep the reins in his
own hands. We have had one of these paper money storms
once before in this country. I remember it well. It came
after the old bank went down, just as it is coming now, since
President Jackson has set his heart upon strangling the
monster, as he calls it. The old story will be told over
again. By doubling the number of banks, you will double
trade and speculation, and that will double our debts, without
adding one bushel to our crops. Then look out for the
day of reckoning! Coin will be wanting to pay for the
silks and wines and fine linen, that we shall have got upon

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trust upon the other side of the ocean. Such banks as have
the coin will be obliged to let it go, and they will call upon
the people to pay up,—which the people will not be able to
do. What follows? A suspension of specie payments, and
along with that all manner of grumbling and discontent and
ill will. Every man will be laying the blame upon his
neighbor, and your thundergust banks will be the loudest in
the whole crowd, crying out that a panic has been got up
by the dying monster:—and you who call yourselves Democrats,
to stave off all inquiry into the matter, will shout that
the liberties of the country are in danger;—like a thief who
has stolen a horse, you will get up into the saddle and strike
off at full speed, foremost in the chase, bellowing `stop thief!'
After the crash, what becomes of your new banks, your
new towns, your new stocks, and your new men? Soap
bubbles bursted! Torn bladder skins, not fit to make a
tobacco pouch! Fools will build houses, and wise men will
live in them. Is not this plainly enough set down in past
history? What more do you want? Take the trouble to
read the speeches in congress, and you will find the whole
course of the thing demonstrated by the wisest men at
Washington. Listen to their counsels, and take heed in time.
Forewarned is forearmed. Tell General Jackson that it is
not beneath the wisdom of a great man to take a lesson from
his adversary. The best friends of the people are those
who tell them the truth, in time to put them on their guard,—
no matter how harsh it may seem to the President or any
body else. Now, sir, that is my opinion.”

When Mr. Grant had delivered himself in this extraordinary
manner, Nicodemus Handy seemed to be considerably
nettled—as well he might be—and said, with very notable
peevishness: “I am accustomed to hear so much in this
strain, from your party, that it has lost its effect on me.
The Democracy are not to be turned away from their

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principles by jingling of words. Why is it that the Whigs
oppose our banks, but because they are afraid to trust THE
PEOPLE? What are the banks but the people? Who owns
them? The people. Who regulates and controls them?
The people. Whose money is it that is deposited in them?
The people's. Who benefits by lending out this money?
The people. Who wants to cramp the banks? The Whigs.
What are the Whigs, therefore? Why, of course, against
the people.”

“Can any thing be more democratic than our bank?”
asked Fog, oratorically swinging out his left arm and flaunting
a blue silk pocket handkerchief in the air—“can any
thing be conceived more harmonious with the precept of
equal rights than the whole scheme by which it was established?—
one dollar a share paid in—the rest in a note
payable when convenient. Does not this demonstrate a
most praiseworthy design of bringing the subscription to
the level of the poorest man's ability? If Handy and myself
had been disposed to take advantage of our high standing
in society or our affluent means;—if we could have
reconciled it to our sentiments to have secured to ourselves
privileges which we were not willing to accord to the meanest
man who works for his bread”—

“No man is mean who works honestly for his bread,
Mr. Fog,” interrupted Mr. Grant.

“My allusion, sir,” continued Fog with remarkable self
possession, “was to the humblest of the democracy—God
forbid, sir, that I should brand any man with the epithet of
mean in a mean sense!—politically, sir, no man is mean.”

“It is lost breath to argue this matter with me,” said Mr.
Grant, by way of cutting short Theodore Fog's able vindication
of himself—“my opinions on this question have
not grown up in a day. I was a Democrat before either of
you were born. My father was a Whig of the revolution,

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[figure description] Page 041.[end figure description]

and his principles are mine. My Democracy goes for the
country—yours goes for yourselves, and you expect to
conceal its drift by talking about THE PEOPLE. I happen to
be one of the people myself,—a fact which you seem to forget.
What I am, I have become by my own effort, through
a life of labor. I have seen too many friends of “the people”
in my time, striving to grow fat by their Democracy, not to
understand the meaning of HUMBUG. Your bank, gentlemen,
is a humbug, notwithstanding the confidence of the
Secretary of the Treasury in its solidity—and the currency
your friend the General has promised to give us is another—
so, good day, gentlemen.”

With these very rash and inconsiderate words, Mr. Grant
turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Handy and
Fog looking significantly at each other. From that time
Mr. Grant was generally considered an enemy to our bank,
and, as far as I can learn, never had any dealings with it.

Mr. Handy, immediately regaining his temper, set up a
dry laugh as soon as Mr. Grant was out of sight, and
laughed on for some moments—at last he said, somewhat
mysteriously, and with a great deal of deliberation—

“Fog, it's my opinion that the old tanner has cut his eye
teeth—what do you think of him?”

“He labors,” replied Fog, “under a sinistrous and defective
obliquity of comprehension; and from all I can make
out of this colloquy, I rather incline to the opinion that he
is not very willing to embark largely in our stock.” And
saying this, Fog folded his arms and looked steadfastly in
Mr. Handy's face.

“Nor, as I should judge, from some insinuations he let
fall,” said Handy in a kind of whisper, “is he likely to
join me in my speculation in town lots. Fog, don't forget,
you will endorse my note for the purchase-money of that

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[figure description] Page 042.[end figure description]

hundred acres—I shall discount it to-morrow—I like to pay
cash—that was always my principle.”

“Undoubtedly—consider me a sure card in that line,”
replied Fog:—“it is understood, of course, that you reciprocate
the favor on my purchase of the meadow?”

“Without question—assuredly, Fog—one good turn deserves
another.”

“Then, let's go up and take a drink,” said Fog, imitating
the tone of a tragedy-player—“we'll call it twelve, although
my dial points but half way from eleven.”

“You know I never drink,” quoth Handy.

“Then come and look on me whilst I that act perform,”
said Theodore.

“Agreed,” said Nicodemus.—And thereupon these trusty
friends went straight to Nim Porter's bar.

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Kennedy, John Pendleton, 1795-1870 [1840], Quodlibet: containing some annals thereof: with an authentic account of the origin and growth of the borough (Lea & Blanchard, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf239].
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