SCENE I.
Petruchio's Country House.
Enter Grumio.
Grumio.
Fie, fie on all tired jades, and all mad masters,
and all foul ways! was ever man so beaten? was
ever man so raide? was ever man so weary? I am
sent before, to make a fire; and they are coming
after, to warm them: now were I not a little pot,
and soon hot, my very lips might freeze to my teeth,
my tongue to the roof of my mouth, my heart in
my belly, ere I should come by a fire to thaw me;
but I with blowing the fire shall warm my self; for,
considering the weather, a taller man than I will take
cold: holla, hoa, Curtis!
Enter Curtis.
Curt.
Who is it that calls so coldly?
Gru.
A piece of ice. If thou doubt it, thou may'st
slide from my shoulder to my heel, with no greater a
run but my head and my neck. A fire, good Curtis.
Curt.
Is my master and his wife coming, Grumio?
Gru.
Oh, ay, Curtis, ay; and therefore, fire, fire;
cast on no water.
Curt.
Is she so hot a Shrew, as she's reported?
Gru.
She was, good Curtis, before this frost; but
thou know'st, 1 note
winter tames man, woman and beast;
-- 445 --
for it hath tam'd my old master, and my new mistress,
and thy self, fellow Curtis.
Curt.
2 noteAway, you three-inch'd fool; I am no beast.
Gru.
Am I but three inches? 3 notewhy, thy horn is a
foot, and so long am I at the least. But wilt thou
make a fire, or shall I complain on thee to our mistress,
whose hand, she being now at hand, thou shalt
soon feel to thy cold comfort, for being slow in thy
hot office.
Curt.
I pr'ythee, good Grumio, tell me, how goes
the world?
Gru.
A cold world, Curtis, in every office but
thine; and, therefore, fire: do thy duty, and have
thy duty; for my master and mistress are almost frozen
to death.
Curt.
There's fire ready; and therefore, good Grumio,
the news.
Gru.
Why, 4 noteJack boy, ho boy, and as much news
as thou wilt.
Curt.
Come, you are so full of conycatching.
Gru.
Why, therefore, fire; for I have caught extream
cold. Where's the cook? is supper ready, the
house trimm'd, rushes strew'd, cobwebs swept, the
servingmen in their new fustian, their white stockings,
-- 446 --
and every officer his wedding garment on? 5 note
be the
Jacks fair within, the Jills fair without, carpets laid,
and every thing in order?
Curt.
All ready: and therefore, I pray thee, what
news?
Gru.
First, know, my horse is tired, my master
and mistress fall'n out.
Curt.
How?
Gru.
Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
hangs a tale.
Curt.
Let's ha't, good Grumio.
Gru.
Lend thine ear.
Curt.
Here.
Gru.
There.
[Strikes him.
Curt.
This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
Gru.
And therefore 'tis call'd a sensible tale: and
this cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech
listning. Now I begin: imprimis, we came down a
foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress.
Curt.
Both on one horse?
Gru.
What's that to thee?
Curt.
Why, a horse.
&wlquo;Gru.
&wlquo;Tell thou the tale—But hadst thou
not crost me, thou should'st have heard how her
horse fell, and she under her horse: thou should'st
have heard in how miry a place, how she was bemoil'd,
how he left her with the horse upon her,
how he beat me because her horse stumbled, how
she waded through the dirt to pluck him off me;
how he swore, how she pray'd that never pray'd
before; how I cry'd; how the horses ran away;
how her bridle was burst; how I lost my crupper;
with many things of worthy memory, which now
-- 447 --
shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc'd
to thy grave.&wrquo;
Curt.
By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
Gru.
Ay, and that thou and the proudest of you
all shall find, when he comes home. But what talk
I of this? call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas,
Philip, Walter, Sugarsop, and the rest: let their heads
be sleekly comb'd, their blue coats brush'd, and their
garters of an indifferent knit; let them curt'sie with
their left legs, and not presume to touch a hair of my
master's horse-tail, 'till they kiss their hands. Are
they all ready?
Curt.
They are.
Gru.
Call them forth.
Curt.
Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master
to countenance my mistress.
Gru.
Why, she hath a face of her own.
Curt.
Who knows not that?
Gru.
Thou, it seems, that call'st for company to
countenance her.
Curt.
I call them forth to credit her.
Enter four or five Serving-men.
Gru.
Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
Nat.
Welcome home, Grumio.
Phil.
How now, Grumio?
Jos.
What, Grumio!
Nich.
Fellow Grumio!
Nath.
How now, old lad.
&wlquo;Gru.
&wlquo;Welcome, you; how now, you; what,
you; fellow, you; and thus much for greeting.&wrquo;
Now my spruce companions, is all ready, and all
things neat?
Nat.
All things are ready; how near is our master?
Gru.
E'en at hand, alighted by this; and therefore
be not—cock's passion, silence!—I
hear my master.
-- 448 --
Alexander Pope [1747], The works of Shakespear in eight volumes. The Genuine Text (collated with all the former Editions, and then corrected and emended) is here settled: Being restored from the Blunders of the first Editors, and the Interpolations of the two Last: with A Comment and Notes, Critical and Explanatory. By Mr. Pope and Mr. Warburton (Printed for J. and P. Knapton, [and] S. Birt [etc.], London) [word count] [S11301].
