Costard with a letter.
Dull.
Which is the King's own person?
Biron.
This, fellow; what would'st?
Dull.
I my self reprehend his own person, for I am
his Grace's Tharborough: but I would see his own
person in flesh and blood.
Biron.
This is he.
Dull.
Signior Arme,—Arme—commends you.
There's villany abroad; this letter will tell you more.
Cost.
Sir, the Contempts thereof are as touching
me.
King.
A letter from the magnificent Armado.
Biron.
How low soever the matter, I hope in God
for high words.
Long.
A high hope for a low (a) note having; God
grant us patience!
Biron.
To hear, or forbear hearing?
Long.
To hear meekly, Sir, to laugh moderately,
or to forbear both.
Biron.
Well, Sir, be it as the Stile shall give us
cause to climb in the merriness.
Cost.
The matter is to me, Sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
-- 197 --
The manner of it is, I was 4 notetaken in the manner.
Biron.
In what manner?
Cost.
In manner and form, following, Sir; all those
three. I was seen with her in the Manor-house, sitting
with her upon the Form, and taken following
her into the Park; which, put together, is, in manner
and form following. Now, Sir, for the manner: it
is the manner of a man to speak to a woman; for the
form, in some form.
Biron.
For the following, Sir?
Cost.
As it shall follow in my correction; and God
defend the right!
King.
Will you hear the letter with attention?
Biron.
As we would hear an oracle.
Cost.
Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after
the flesh.
King reads.
Great deputy, the welkin's vice-gerent,
and sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's
earth's God, and body's fostring patron—
Cost.
Not a word of Costard yet.
King.
So it is—
Cost.
It may be so; but if he say it is so, he is, in
telling true, (a) note but so, so.
King.
Peace—
Cost.
Be to me, and every man that dares not fight!
King.
No words—
Cost.
Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.
King.
So it is, Besieged with sable-coloured melancholy,
I did commend the black oppressing humour to the most
wholesome physick of thy health-giving air; and as I am
-- 198 --
a gentleman, betook my self to walk: The time, when?
about the sixth hour, when beasts most graze, birds best
peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is
call'd supper: so much for the time, when. Now for
the ground, which: which, I mean, I walkt upon; it is
ycleped, thy park. Then for the place, where; where, I
mean, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous
event, that draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon-colour'd
ink, which here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest,
or seest. But to the place, where; It standeth north-north-east
and by east from the west corner of thy curious-knotted
garden. There did I see that low-spirited swain,
that base minow of thy mirth,
Cost.
Me?
King.
that unletter'd
small-knowing soul,
Cost.
Me?
King.
that shallow vassal,
Cost.
Still me?
King.
which, as I remember, hight
Costard;
Cost.
O me!
King.
sorted and consorted, contrary
to thy established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
with, with,—O with,—but with this I passion to
say wherewith:
Cost.
With a wench.
King.
With a child of our grandmother Eve, a female;
or for thy more understanding, a woman; him,
I (as my ever-esteem'd duty pricks me on) have sent to
thee, to receive the need of punishment, by thy sweet
Grace's officer, Anthony Dull, a man of good repute,
carriage, bearing and estimation.
Dull.
Me, an't shall please you: I am Anthony
Dull.
King.
For Jaquenetta, (so is the weaker vessel call'd)
which I apprehended with the aforesaid swain, I keep
her as a vassal of thy law's fury, and shall at the least
of thy sweet notice bring her to tryal. Thine in all
complements of devoted and heart-burning heat of duty,
Don Adriano de Armado.
Biron.
This is not so well as I look'd for, but the
best that ever I heard.
-- 199 --
King.
Ay; the best for the worst. But, sirrah,
what say you to this?
Cost.
Sir, I confess the wench.
King.
Did you hear the proclamation?
Cost.
I do confess much of the hearing it, but little
of the marking of it.
King.
It was proclaim'd a year's imprisonment to
be taken with a wench.
Cost.
I was taken with none, Sir, I was taken with
a damosel.
King.
Well, it was proclaimed damosel.
Cost.
This was no damosel neither, Sir, she was a
virgin.
King.
It is so varied too, for it was proclaim'd
virgin.
Cost.
If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken
with a maid.
King.
This maid will not serve your turn, Sir.
Cost.
This maid will serve my turn, Sir.
King.
Sir, I will pronounce sentence; you shall fast
a week with bran and water.
Cost.
I had rather pray a month with mutton and
porridge.
King.
And Don Armado shall be your keeper. My
lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er.
And go we, lords, to put in practice that,
Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
[Exeunt.
Biron.
I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
Sirrah, come on.
Cost.
I suffer for the truth, Sir: for true it is, I was
taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true girl;
and therefore welcome the sour cup of prosperity:
affliction may one day smile again, and until then, sit
thee down, sorrow.
[Exeunt.
-- 200 --
Alexander Pope [1747], The works of Shakespear in eight volumes. The Genuine Text (collated with all the former Editions, and then corrected and emended) is here settled: Being restored from the Blunders of the first Editors, and the Interpolations of the two Last: with A Comment and Notes, Critical and Explanatory. By Mr. Pope and Mr. Warburton (Printed for J. and P. Knapton, [and] S. Birt [etc.], London) [word count] [S11301].
