Costard.
Nath.
Videsne quis venit?
Hol.
Video, & gaudeo.
-- 251 --
Arm.
Chirra.
Hol.
Quare Chirra, not Sirrah?
Arm.
Men of Peace, well encountred.
Hol.
Most military Sir, salutation.
Moth.
They have been at a great feast of languages,
and stole the scraps.
Cost.
O, they have liv'd long on the Alms-basket
of words. I marvel, thy master hath not eaten thee
for a word; for thou art not so long by the head as
honorificabilitudinitatibus: thou art easier swallow'd
than a flap-dragon.
Moth.
Peace, the peal begins.
Arm.
Monsieur, are you not letter'd?
Moth.
Yes, yes, he teaches boys the horn-book:
What is A B spelt backward with a horn on his head?
Hol.
Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth.
Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn. You
hear his learning.
Hol.
Quis, quis, thou consonant?
Moth.
The third of the five vowels, if you repeat
them; or the fifth, if I.
Hol.
I will repeat them, a, e, I.—
Moth.
The sheep; the other two concludes it,
3 noteo, u.
Arm.
Now by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum,
a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit; snip, snap,
quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect; true wit.
Moth.
Offer'd by a child to an old man: which is
wit-old.
Hol.
What is the figure? what is the figure?
Moth.
Horns.
Hol.
Thou disputest like an infant; go, whip thy gigg.
Moth.
Lend me your horn to make one, and I will
-- 252 --
whip about your infamy circùm circà; a gigg of a
cuckold's horn.
Cost.
An' I had but one penny in the world, thou
shouldst have it to buy ginger-bread; hold, there is
the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny
purse of wit, thou pidgeon-egg of discretion.
O, that the heav'ns were so pleased, that thou wert
but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou
make me? go to, thou hast it ad dunghill; at the fingers'
ends, as they say.
Hol.
Oh, I smell false latine, dunghill for unguem.
Arm.
Arts-man, præambula; we will be singled
from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at
the charge-house on the top of the mountain?
Hol.
Or, Mons the hill.
Arm.
At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
Hol.
I do, sans question.
Arm.
Sir, it is the King's most sweet pleasure and
affection, to congratulate the Princess at her Pavilion,
in the posteriors of this day, which the rude multitude
call the afternoon.
Hol.
The posterior of the day, most generous Sir, is
liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon:
the word is well cull'd, choice, sweet, and apt, I do
assure you, Sir, I do assure.
Arm.
Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my
familiar; I do assure you, my very good friend; for
what is inward between us, let it pass—I do beseech
thee, remember thy curtesie—I beseech thee,
apparel thy head,—and among other importunate
and most serious designs, and of great import indeed
too—but let that pass:—for I must tell thee, it
will please his Grace (by the world) sometime to lean
upon my poor shoulder, and with his royal finger
thus dally with my excrement, with my mustachio;
but sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount
no fable; some certain special honours it pleaseth
-- 253 --
his Greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man
of travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass
—the very all of all is—but sweet heart, I do
implore secrecy—that the King would have me
present the Princess (sweet chuck) with some delightful
ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or
fire-work. Now, understanding that the Curate and
your sweet self are good at such eruptions, and sudden
breaking out of mirth, (as it were) I have acquainted
you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.
Hol.
Sir, you shall present before her the nine
Worthies. Sir, as concerning some entertainment
of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be
rendred by our assistants at the King's command, and
this most gallant, illustrate and learned gentleman, before
the Princess: I say, none so fit as to present the
nine Worthies.
Nath.
Where will you find men worthy enough to
present them?
Hol.
Joshua, your self; this gallant man, Judas
Macabeus; this swain (because of his great limb or
joint) shall pass Pompey the great; and the page,
Hercules.
Arm.
Pardon, Sir, error: he is not quantity enough
for that Worthy's thumb; he is not so big as the end
of his club.
Hol.
Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules
in minority: his Enter and Exit shall be strangling
a snake; and I will have an apology for that
purpose.
Moth.
An excellent device: for if any of the audience
hiss, you may cry; “well done, Hercules,
now thou crushest the snake;” that is the way to
make an offence gracious, tho' few have the grace to
do it.
Arm.
For the rest of the Worthies,—
Hol.
I will play three my self.
-- 254 --
Moth.
Thrice-worthy gentleman!
Arm.
Shall I tell you a thing?
Hol.
We attend.
Arm.
We will have, if this fadge not, an Antick.
I beseech you, follow.
Hol.
Via! good-man Dull, thou hast spoken no
word all this while.
Dull.
Nor understood none neither, Sir.
Hol.
Allons; we will employ thee.
Dull.
I'll make one in a dance, or so: or I will
play on the taber to the Worthies, and let them dance
the hay.
Hol.
Most dull, honest, Dull, to our Sport away.
[Exeunt.
Alexander Pope [1747], The works of Shakespear in eight volumes. The Genuine Text (collated with all the former Editions, and then corrected and emended) is here settled: Being restored from the Blunders of the first Editors, and the Interpolations of the two Last: with A Comment and Notes, Critical and Explanatory. By Mr. Pope and Mr. Warburton (Printed for J. and P. Knapton, [and] S. Birt [etc.], London) [word count] [S11301].