Conrade.
Bora.
What? Conrade—
Watch.
Peace, stir not.
[Aside.
Bora.
Conrade, I say.
Conr.
Here, Man, I am at thy elbow.
Bora.
Mass, and my elbow itch'd, I thought there
would a scab follow.
Conr.
I will owe thee an answer for that, and now
forward with thy tale.
Bora.
Stand thee close then under this pent-house,
for it drizzles rain, and I will, like a true drunkard,
utter all to thee.
Watch.
Some Treason, masters; yet stand close.
Bora.
Therefore know, I have earned of Don John
a thousand ducats.
Conr.
Is it possible that any Villany should be so
dear?
Bora.
Thou should'st rather ask, if it were possible
7 noteany villain should be so rich? for when rich villains
have need of poor ones, poor ones may make what
price they will.
Conr.
I wonder at it.
Bora.
That shews, 8 notethou art unconfirm'd; thou
knowest, that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or
a cloak is nothing to a man.
Conr.
Yes, it is apparel.
Bora.
I mean the fashion.
Conr.
Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
Bora.
Tush, I may as well say, the fool's the Fool;
but see'st thou not, what a deformed thief this fashion is?
-- 51 --
Watch.
I know that Deformed; he has been a vile
thief these seven years; he goes up and down like a
gentleman: I remember his name.
Bora.
Didst thou not hear some body?
Conr.
No, 'twas the vane on the house.
Bora.
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief
this fashion is? how giddily he turns about all the
hot-bloods between fourteen and five and thirty, sometimes,
fashioning them like Pharao's soldiers in the
reachy Painting; sometimes, like the God Bel's
priests in the old church-window; 9 notesometimes, like
the shaven Hercules in the smirch worm-eaten tapestry,
where his codpiece seems as massie as his club.
Conr.
All this I see, and see, that the fashion wears
out more apparel than the man; but art not thou thy
self giddy with the fashion too, that thou hast shifted
out of thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
Bora.
Not so neither; but know, that I have to
night wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's Gentlewoman,
-- 52 --
by the name of Hero; she leans me out at her mistress's
chamber-window, bids me a thousand times good night—
I tell this tale vildly—I should first tell thee, how the
Prince, Claudio, and my master, planted and placed,
and possessed by my master Don John, saw a far off
in the orchard this amiable encounter.
Conr.
And thought they, Margaret was Hero?
Bora.
Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio;
but the devil my master knew, she was Margaret;
and partly by his oaths, which first possest them,
partly by the dark night, which did deceive them,
but chiefly by my villany, which did confirm any
slander that Don John had made, away went Claudio
enraged; swore, he would meet her as he was appointed
next morning at the Temple, and there before
the whole Congregation shame her with what he
saw o'er night, and send her home again without
a husband.
1 Watch.
We charge you in the Prince's name,
stand.
2 Watch.
Call up the right master constable; we
have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery
that ever was known in the common-wealth.
1 Watch.
And one Deformed is one of them; I
know him, he wears a lock.
Conr.
Masters, masters,—
2 Watch.
You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I
warrant you.
Conr.
Masters,—
1 Watch.
Never speak; we charge you, let us obey
you to go with us.
Bora.
We are like to prove a goodly Commodity,
being taken up of these mens bills.
Conr.
A commodity in question, I warrant you:
come, we'll obey you.
[Exeunt.
-- 53 --
Alexander Pope [1747], The works of Shakespear in eight volumes. The Genuine Text (collated with all the former Editions, and then corrected and emended) is here settled: Being restored from the Blunders of the first Editors, and the Interpolations of the two Last: with A Comment and Notes, Critical and Explanatory. By Mr. Pope and Mr. Warburton (Printed for J. and P. Knapton, [and] S. Birt [etc.], London) [word count] [S11301].