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Bird, Robert Montgomery, 1806-1854 [1838], Peter Pilgrim, or, A rambler's recollections, volume 2 (Lea & Blanchard, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf018v2].
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CHAPTER II.

IN WHICH MR. MICHAEL LAW BEGINS HIS STORY: WITH
SOME ACCOUNT OF COLONEL STORM AND HIS FAMILY.

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Had Fulton and Stevens, and the other
great men who have covered the rivers of
America with steamboats,”—thus began the
narrator,—“commenced their experiments
twenty years earlier than they did, the
history of the West would have presented
no such tales of blood as I am now about
to relate, and its settlement would have
advanced with equal rapidity and safety.
With a steamboat on the Ohio, to waft us,
the first invaders of the wilderness, upon our
voyage, instead of the wretched broad-horns
in which so many of us went to our deaths,
the voyage to Kentucky would have

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presented none of those dangers and difficulties by
which colonization was so seriously retarded,
and the rich fields of the West left so long in
possession of the savage Red-man.

“I was born in Virginia, in what is now
Jefferson county, on the Upper Potomac,—
an honourable birth-place; but I cannot boast
a lineage either rich or distinguished. On
the contrary, I found myself, at the age of
eighteen, in the month of March, 1791, an
ignorant younker, (ignorant of every thing
but the rifle, which I had learned to handle in
hunter's style by mere instinct, and the hoe,
the use of which noble implement starvation
and a hard-labouring father had as early
taught me,) set adrift upon the world, to seek
my fortune, or, in other words, shift for myself
as I could; my father, Michael Law,
(which is also my own name,) having brought
home to his cabin, one fine morning, a new
friend in the person of a step-mother; who
was never at rest until she had succeeded in
driving me from the house; a catastrophe to
which my father the more readily consented,
as I was now, he said, `a man grown, and
full as able to make my way in the world as
he was.'

“He gave me his blessing, a knife, a new

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shirt, and a pair of shoes, with an old haversack
to put them in, a dried venison-ham,
(which was, however, of my own shooting,)
and as much parched corn as I chose to carry;
and my step-mother adding, as proofs of
her affectionate regard, a pair of stockings
and a worsted nightcap of her own knitting,
I bade them farewell; and, in company with
three other adventurers like myself, turned
my face towards Pittsburg, with the design
of proceeding to Kentucky; where I was told
I might have a fine farm for nothing, save an
occasional fight for it with the Indians, and
plenty of stock, horses and cows, as many as
I might want, from any body for the mere
asking.

“Arriving at Pittsburg, then a miserable
little hamlet, in which no wiseacre could fore-see
the bustling and important city into which
it has now grown, I began to be somewhat
alarmed at the dismal stories every one had
to tell of the terrors of the downward voyage,
of the frequent, nay, daily destruction
of boats with all on board, by the Indians;
from whom, many declared, it was a mere accident
and miracle that any boats should escape
at all. My companions were even more
dismayed than I, one of them returning home

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within a week, and the others hiring themselves
out at labour upon the fortress, which
the government of the United States was
then constructing at Pittsburg.

“As for me, having a little money in my
pocket, won at sundry-shooting matches during
the preceding winter, and treasured up
against a rainy day, I resolved to play the
gentleman as long as it lasted, and then determine
upon the course to be pursued—to
go to work like my friends, for which I had
but little appetite, having a soul quite above
my condition, or join some enterprising boat's
crew, and proceed to Kentucky, for which I
still felt a hankering, notwithstanding the notorious
perils of the voyage.

“My money, as I employed it freely, first,
in decorating my person with a much handsomer
suit of clothes than had ever before
decked it, and, secondly, in establishing myself
in the best tavern in the place, I soon
managed to make away with; upon which,
having now made up my mind for Kentucky,
I began to look about me for a boat, and the
means of obtaining a passage in it to Kentucky.

“In this I found no great difficulty. The
great preparations which General St. Clair,

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Governor of the Territories Northwest of the
Ohio, and commander of the national forces
in the West, was making at his camp, Fort
Hamilton, the site, as all know, of the present
Cincinnati, for a great expedition, which,
every body supposed, was to sweep the Indians
from the face of the earth, and so end
the Indian wars in Kentucky for ever, had
given a vast impulse and increase to emigration;
and there was now not a week,—indeed,
scarce a day, in which some boat, or fleet of
boats, did not depart from Pittsburg. And
these were seldom so heavily laden, or strongly
manned, but that room could be readily
found for a single unencumbered man, a
sprightly lad like myself, who could balance
a rifle, had muscles for an oar, and otherwise
promised to make himself serviceable on the
voyage.

“It was my good fortune (for such, notwithstanding
the disasters of the voyage, I
shall always esteem it,) to find, among other
emigrants who were making their preparations
for descending the river, a certain Colonel
Storm, a worthy old gentleman of Virginia,
who had fought through the French
Wars and the Revolution at the head of a
regiment of Buckskins, and bore the

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reputation of a brave officer, as well as a rich man.
He was on his way to Kentucky, to locate bounty-grants
of his own, as well as others belonging
to brother officers, for whom he acted as
agent; and he intended also to settle in Kentucky;
for which purpose, he had brought with
him his family—consisting, however, of but a
single daughter, a beautiful and amiable girl
of seventeen—and a great deal of property,
horses, cattle, furniture and farming implements,
and a dozen or more slaves, enough in
all to fill two or three boats of the ordinary
kind.

“With such a property at stake, and so
many things to encumber him on the voyage,
he was desirous to enlist the services of as
many bold assistants as he could procure,
and therefore offered, besides a free passage
and support, a considerable bounty to such
persons as would take service with him for
the expedition.

“Hearing of this, and that he had nearly
completed his crews, and expected to put off
in a very few days, I went to him forthwith,
to offer my services, and was immediately
ushered into his presence. He was a fine
portly, powdered, and military-looking old
gentleman, but, as I soon saw, hot and

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irascible of complexion, his temper being especially
soured at the time of my visit, by a fit of the
gout, which had suddenly fastened upon one
of his legs; and as I entered the room, I heard
him scolding very bitterly at a young man,
who seemed to be his clerk or secretary, and
was busy among books and papers, which he
tumbled over in a hurried and confused manner,
as if irritated by the Colonel's remarks,
and yet struggling to keep down his anger
without reply.

“The old gentleman seeing me, demanded
very sharply, `who I was, and what I
wanted?'

“I told him, `I came to enter with him for
the Kentucky voyage;' upon which he gave
me a stare of contempt, and angrily exclaimed,—
`What! with that tailor's finery
on your back?' (for I had my best suit on:)
`Oons and death, I want men, not coxcombs!
Men, you jackdaw! men that can stare death
in the face, and take the devil by the top-knot!
'

“I told him, being somewhat galled by his
contemptuous expressions, that `I was man
enough for his purpose, or any body else's;' at
which he burst into a passion, swore at me
for `an insolent hobnail,' and concluded the

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angry tirade by asking me `what I was good
for? and what I could do?'

“`Any thing,' replied I, as stiffly as a lord,
`any thing that any other man can do.'

“`Oh, ay, I doubt not!' said he, ironically,
and grinning over his shoulder at the young
man, his clerk, `you can read novels, and
write verses, and play the fiddle, and dangle
after the women, eh?' and he darted another
bitter glance at the young fellow, who put
his hand up to his head, and twisted it among
his hair, looking very much incensed, but
still made no reply.

“`I can read,' said I, and with great truth
and honesty, `very well in the Testament,
and any other book with big print: and I can
write, too, right smart; only my master never
put me in small-hand.' At which answer,
Colonel Storm burst into a laugh; which I
mistook for a laugh of incredulity, and therefore
hastened to assure him I spoke nothing
but the truth; adding, which I did with great
frankness, that `as for the fiddle, I knew
nothing about it, having never tried my hand
at any thing better than a banjo. But as for the
women,' I said, with equal honesty, `though
I don't know any thing about dangling,

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I reckon I can kiss a pretty girl as well as
any body.'

“`Well,' said Colonel Storm, fetching
another laugh, and then giving me a second
diabolical grin, which, I believe, was owing
to a sudden twinge in his foot, `that's neither
here nor there. What can you do that's
like a man? for there's the point to be considered?

“`I can draw a good bead upon a rifle,' I
replied; upon which the Colonel roared, with
approbation, `Now you talk like a man, and
not a jackass!' `Yes, sir,' I continued, swelling
with a sense of my importance and
superior skill in an exercise which, I perceived,
he regarded as a merit; `I can't pretend
to be any great shakes at the reading,
and writing, and fiddling; but I can go the
Old Sinner on a cut-bore, kill death at a knife
fight, and out-wrestle any man of my inches
this side the Alleghany!' All which was,
perhaps, more than half true; for in those,
my cubling days, I was, I am sorry to say,
something of what we, now-a-days, call `a
young screamer.'

“`Bravo!' cried Colonel Storm, turning
maliciously to the young secretary; `do you
hear that, Tom Connor? Here's a young

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fellow can shoot, and fight, and do other
things a man can; and not a bit of reading,
and writing and fiddling, and woman-dangling
does he care for. Oons, sir, I thought I
should have made a man of you!'

“The young fellow, Connor, as the Colonel
called him, started up, as if stung by the old
man's remark, and, I believe, was about to
make some passionate rely; but just then the
Colonel's daughter came into the room, with
some drug-stuff in a cup she had brought her
father, and Connor instantly resumed his
seat, busying himself among the papers.

“The young lady remained in the room
but a few moments; but I had time to observe
she was what I called her—that is, a very
beautiful girl, whose charms and elegance,—
such as I had never before seen equalled among
the women of our rude border country,—almost
struck me dumb with admiration. I saw
her look very earnestly, as she passed his chair,
at the young secretary, who, however, kept
his eyes sullenly fixed on his papers; a circumstance
which appeared to me to displease
the young lady, who drew herself up and
proceeded to her father, to whom she presented
the cup, which, with sundry wry faces,
he swallowed; and then giving her a kiss, and

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calling her `his dear Alicia,' he dismissed her
from the apartment.

“The old gentleman now gave me to understand
that he accepted my services, bade
me write my name on a book before the secretary,
whom he ordered to advance me a
sum of money, being a part of his bounty,
which Connor immediately did; and I found
myself enlisted, for such was the term the old
soldier applied to the engagement, in his `private
broad-horn service,'—so Colonel Storm
called it,—to be attached to Boat No. 1, in
the capacity of rifleman, oarsman, and, indeed,
all other capacities, as might be necessary. I
was ordered to present myself at the boat on
the following morning, and hold myself in
readiness to depart within two days, and then
took my leave.

“While I was leaving the room, there entered
a gentleman, with whose appearance I
was very much struck. He was a tall, elegant
man, thirty years old, wore a half-military
suit of clothes, finely made, had bright eyes,
and long black hair, which he wore without
powder, and, in short, had every air of a gallant
soldier and distinguished gentleman. I
heard Colonel Storm, who received him with
much warmth and cordiality, though grinning

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at the moment under a paroxysm of pain, salute
him by the name of Captain Sharpe; and
I observed that while he bowed, which he did
very politely in passing, to Connor the secretary,
the latter, though he bent his head in
return, gave him a look as black as midnight.
It was evident he was no friend of Connor,
or Connor no friend of him.

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Bird, Robert Montgomery, 1806-1854 [1838], Peter Pilgrim, or, A rambler's recollections, volume 2 (Lea & Blanchard, Philadelphia) [word count] [eaf018v2].
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