After my brother had sufficiently inspected my outward man, he thus
expressed himself:

`You think, I dare say, Paul, that you are perfection. Your clothes
may be `the thing' down in Kennebec, but here they are decidedly
`green.'

`My coat is olive, Tom,' I answered, not comprehending the symbolical
meaning of the word.

`And the wearer green,' answered Tom. `Well, as you are going
off to a foreign country it ain't much matter, but if you were to stay
here in Boston you should never be owned for a relation of mine in
such a long-waisted coat.'

I began to get a little irritated at my brother's manner, for I knew
that I was as well dressed as any young man in my native town. My
clothes shone with the gloss of newness, my boots squeaked at every
step their fresh origin from the last, and my white neckcloth was stiffened
with starch to the smoothness of white paper. But putting down
his words to the score of envy at my superior position as clerk to a
foreign firm, I merely smiled my contempt for his observations, and
asked after my other brothers.

[figure description] Page 013.[end figure description]

`Oh, they are in fine health,' he answered. `We all have a capital
time here. None of us keep open after eight o'clock, and then we
meet at Bruce's Soda Saloon and have a smack, and then are off to
the theatre or cruising about the streets. Sundays we always ride out
or have a sail in the harbor.'

`Ride and sail Sundays!' I repeated with surprise; for we had, at
home, always been brought up with religious strictness.

`Why yes, Master Simplicity. Sunday in Boston ain't Sunday in
the country. Why, my dear boy, how many things you have got to
learn. How inconceivably verdant you are, Paul! Why what should
we poor devils in stores do if we had no recreation of a Sunday, I'd
like to know? We go to our stores at sun-up Monday morning, and
are in them every day in the week till eight o'clock and sometimes till
nine. If we never rode out Sundays what time should we have for recreation
and unbending the mind? I know a fellow who has been a
clerk here three years who never had beeu out of Boston into Roxbury,
Cambridge, or any of the beautiful towns in the vicinity, because he
won't go Sundays, and week days he is a slave!'

`But you ought not to break the Sabbath, nevertheless, Tom,' said
I gravely.

`It is not our fault. The merchants should love avarice less, and
give us every Saturday afternoon, or at least every other one. We
could then recreate and on Sundays go to church. But every merchant
loves money more than the souls of their clerks. Some, too, who are
members of the church; they keep their clerks in every hour of
week days; and so if the clerks recreate a little Sundays, why the
blame lies more with the merchant than the poor clerk! But don't
let us moralize here, Paul,' added my brother, putting his arm through
mine. `We will walk up to my store, and I will tell old Hunks, that
my brother has come to the city and I want an hour to go round with
you to see your other brothers. He'll give it to me, but he'll pay himself
for the loss time by keeping back one of my perquisite boxes.'

`What are your perquisite boxes?' I asked; for as the reader will
see, I was ignorant of many things with which my city brothers were
familiarly acquainted.

`Why they are the boxes goods come in. My Hunks gives me my
board and perquisites. These latter amount to about two boxes a
week on an average. These boxes I sell to draymen or others who
give me a quarter a piece for them. This is all the spending money
I get, and also half the clerks in Boston. Now Hunks, if he gives me
an hour, will give me one less box!'

`What a close hard man he must be!' I exclaimed indignantly.

`It is the custom. He is no worse than many others. Here in
Boston every man's look-out is for his own. No. 1, letter A, is the
chief care. If No. 2 wants a favor he must pay No. 1 for its full value.
Time is money here, and every man pays for it and takes pay for it.
You've got a good deal to learn, Paul.'

`I see I have,' I replied; `but how is it if you get but fifty cents a
week, you and my brothers are able to ride Sundays? It must cost
you a dollar at least for a carriage.'

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`A dollar!' repeated my brother with a smile. `I guess it costs a
two-fifty. Horses ain't hired so cheap here as they used to be at Robinson's
stable, down in Kennebec. Why, you see, we don't ride every
Sunday. Our three perquisites together make up enough to ride every
other. For we go three together; and sometimes, on the bridge, take
up a fourth crony. So we club together and have a fine spree at Fresh
Pond.'

`I am sorry to see you have forgotten the Sabbath, Tom,' I said,
quite shocked at the change which a year's residence in Boston had
effected in my brother, who, at home, had been very steady and moral.

`Well, I am no worse than others. When you are with the Romans
you must do as the Romans do.'

With this proverb, Tom took me along with him out of the door and,
together, we walked up the street.

During the day I saw my other two brothers, and found them, in
dress and habits and conversation, just the counterpart of Tom. They
could talk of nothing but boating, riding, Fresh Pond, bowling alleys,
and young girls of the town. They seemed to be all three wholly lost
to virtue and morality, and all sense of religion. They smoked cigars,
drank wine at soda shops, and visited places where vice and profligacy
nightly held their licentious levees. I had not been with them two
days before I saw that they were by no means fit companions for one
who still professed to have some respect for his character; and so one
night when they all three, accompanied by two other youths of similar
calibre, came to my room to take me away with them, I firmly told
them that I would associate with them no more.

At this they all laughed, and my brother Tom paid me the compliment
of saying that I had missed my vocation in conseuting to go out
as clerk for a merchant; that I was, without question, cut out for a
parson's clerk: and he went on to add that he had no doubt that he
should hear of me preaching to the Patagonians before I had been in
South America a twelve month.

I laughed good-naturedly at this sally of Tom's, though I was not a
little angry and mortified at being rallied before the two dressy young
men; but reflecting that I was ridiculed only for acting well, I restrained
my impulse to answer him angrily. After trying to prevail
upon me to accompany them they finally left me to myself, not a little
to my gratification. The next morning while I was dressing a servant
came to my room and handed me a note. I saw it was in Tom's handwriting.
I opened it and read as follows:

Watch-house, — street,
6, A. M.
Dear brother Paul:

Here we are in a fix every mother's son of us! After we left you
last night we went to Bruce's and had a first-rate oyster supper. About
ten o'clock we sallied forth pretty well `up!' If I had known how
tipsy brother 'Siah was, I'd have locked him up in Bruce's back room
before he should have gone out with us. Well, he was as `drunk as a
soger.' He sang songs to the top of his lungs, and took up the whole
side walk as he went. I never saw but one chap before so tipsy and

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stand. Well, we got to the corner of Broomfield lane when 'Siah saw
a `Charlie,' and so he began to sing, `O'er the water to Charlie,' adding
some few personal impromptu, that made the watchman mad; so
he told us to keep quiet: for to tell you the truth we all joined in full
chorus. I told the watchman, gentlemen had a right to sing, and that
there was no law which put them under obligations to ask a `Charlie'
what songs they should select for testing their vocal powers. At this,
`Charlie' seized me by the collar, when brother Sam up fist and
knocked him over. Charlie sprang up and then sprang his rattle. It
was answered from half a dozen corners, and in two minutes we were
every soul of us captured, though we fought hard. 'Sias was taken up
out of the gutter and Sam was only taken prisoner after giving two
bloody noses and a black eye to the enemy. The upshot was that we
were marched off to the Watch-house except Josiah, who had to be
carried between two Charlies; and the best of the joke was, although
he was too drunk to walk he would sing, and all they could do, he
kept up a rip-roarous serenade to all the houses we went by until we
were safely lodged here.

Now my dear Paul, I write to you to ask you to do what you can to
get us off. The watchmen swear unless we pay them ten dollars,
which is two dollars apiece, they will have us up before the Police
Judge, and then our names will get into the papers and we shall be
dished. We have turned our pockets inside out, and all we can raise
is a dollar and fifty-two cents, brother 'Siah planking the two coppers.
Now you have some money I know. If you have n't enough just go
down to the bar and borrow the balance on father's account, and tell
him father will pay it when he comes up on Monday. If he objects,
tell him your trunk is in your room and shall be security. Now, my
dear Paul, do this little act for us; for we know you are a good fellow,
and I am sorry I quizzed you. You know if we are put in the
papers it might injure you; for Mr. Bedrick might suppose you were
quite as—as—as—(what word shall I use?)—never mind! You
might lose your chance of going to South America; which we should
be very sorry for, as it would be on our account. So not to have your
disappointment on our three consciences, get the `dollars' and hasten
to us without delay. The Court opens in an hour; and if the Charlies
don't have the X by that time up we go!