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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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XXIX. A FU REMARKS.

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Moral swashun consis in asking a man tu do what
he aught tu do without askin, and then beggin hiz
pardon if he refuses tu do it.

I hav finally kum tu the konklusion, that a good
reliable sett ov bowels, iz wurth more tu a man,
than enny quantity ov brains.

Musick hath charms tu soothe a savage; this may
be so, but i wud rather tri a revolver on him fust.

It alwus seemed to me that a left handed fiddler
must pla the tune backwards.

I hav often bin told that the best wa iz tu take a
“Bull bi the horns,” but i think in many instanzes
i shud prefer the “tale holt.”

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The fust law ov natur iz tu steal; the sekund law
is tu hide, and the third iz tu — steal agin.

Poverta acts the same onta a man's branes, az exercise
dus onto hiz boddy, gives an appetite.

I never could cee any use in making wooden gods
mail and femail.

If the harte iz rite, the hed cant be very rong.

Tha tell me that femails are so skarse, in the far
western country, that a grate menny married wimmin
are alreddy engaged tu their sekund and third
husbands.

N. B. The above remarks are not intended to be
personal.

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p674-102
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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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