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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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XXIV. REMARKS

[figure description] Page 073.[end figure description]

Marrying a woman for her munny is vera mutch
like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with yure own
finger.

“Between tew evils chuze the least.” Brandee
and gin, for instance, which will yu hav?

Perhaps sum philosophick mind kan tell me why
the Jews never eat whats on the left side ov a baked
goose.

If men had a good deal more faith than tha had
kommon sense, moste ov them wud expek tu liv, as
Eliger ov old did.

When a man's harte gits up into his hed, his
charitees will smell tu mutch ov wisdom; and when

-- 074 --

[figure description] Page 074.[end figure description]

his hed gits down into his harte, his wisdom smells
tu much ov charitee.

I wud as soon take a ten dollar kounterfit bill on
the Kodfish Bank ov Nufoundland, as tu marry a
woman with false hare, false teeth or a false buzzum.

Men don't repli tu real sarkasm.

Ginowine proverbs ar like good kambrick needles—
short, sharp, and shiny.

The fust man who was born inter the wurld,
killed the sekund one, and i aint sure but it wud
hav bin a good plan if the men had tuk their turns
at killing ever sinse.

Art improves a diamond, but kant make one.

“Gra hares are honarabil,” but I kno ov a grate
menny gra heds that the devil will keep under a
glas kase, tu sho the curous in theze matters.

-- --

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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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