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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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XIV. JOSH BILLINGS ADDRESSES THE “FEMAIL BILLINGSVILLE SOWING SOSIETY. ”

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Feller Sisters:—When I caste mi eye on a
sirkle of luvely wimmin bizzy with their needles, mi
harte seems tew stretch clean akross mi buzzum.
And when i reflek for a minnit, that tha are tew
work for nothing, and find themselfs, and that a yung
heathin stans reddy yelping around the corner, for
the very shirt tha are wurking on, it duz seem tu
me, that i cud shout hozzanner for 3 weeks on a
strech. Feller Sisters, yu kan kount on Josh Billings
az a frend; he luves charitee, az a pup hankers
for nu milk; his verry natur looks out onto the
horizen ov the poor folks, jist as the lite ov a tin
lantern shines akross a bog meddow. And he sees
the little bare bak yung ones shivering for a krust
ov bread, and hungry for a shirt; then he looks at
the Sisters, a talking and sowing, and sowing and
talking, and he kounts a hole parcil ov little shirts

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on the tabil, and then he thinks ov the widders cruise,
and the bred hove onto the waters, menshioned in
the good Book, and he feels jist az tho he wud like
tew own awl the femail sowing sosieties in the wurld
hisself, and put hiz hole fortin in the little reddy
made cottin shirt bizziness. Oh Charitee! Oh Chartee!
When Josh Billings communes with you, he
feals az tho he had jist been tried out, and sot awa
tew cool. Feller Sisters don't be skeered, let the
ritch and the hawty stik up their nozes, and let the
eddicated larf. Josh wud like no better fun than
jiss to bet his 9 dollars, that enny Sister, in full
communion with this ere sowing sosiety, who puts in
full time, and cuts the cotting tew advantage, wil
git her final reward. Tew konklude, Feller Sisters,
pitch in; remember Mr. Lots wife, she that was
salted for looken bak. Cum together arly, and oftin,
buy yure cottin by the pease; be keerful how yu
deal out youre shirts, for thare iz evry now and then
a bogus heathin. Stan bi yure konstitushion, and bi
laws, dew awl this, and the “Femail Billingsville
Sowing Sosiety” will go down tew futer prosterita,
like a wide-awake torchlite possession. I bid yu
tenderla ajew.

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p674-058
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Billings, Josh, 1818-1885 [1866], Josh Billings, hiz sayings. With comic illustrations. (Carleton, New York) [word count] [eaf674T].
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