Fal.

Mine host of the garter,—

Host.

What says my bully rock? speak schollarly, and wisely.

Fal.

Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

Host.

Discard, bully Hercules, cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal.

I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host.

Thou'rt an Emperor, Cæsar, Keisar and Pheazar. I will entertain Bardolph, he shall draw, he shall tap; said I well, bully Hector?

Fal.

Do so, good mine host.

Host.

I have spoke, let him follow; let me see thee froth, and live: I am at a word; follow.

Fal.

Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither'd servingman, a fresh tapster; go, adieu.

Bard.

It is a life that I have desir'd: I will thrive.

Pist.

O base Hungarian wight, wilt thou the spigot wield?

Nym.

He was gotten in drink, is not the humour conceited? ^{7 note}His mind is not heroick, and there's the humour of it.

Fal.

I am glad, I am so quit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open; his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.

Nym.

The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.

Pist.

Convey, the Wise it call: steal? foh; a fico for the phrase!

Fal.

Well, Sirs, I am almost out at heels.

Pist.

Why then, let kibes ensue.

Fal.

There is no remedy: I must conycatch, I must shift.

Pist.

Young ravens must have food.

Fal.

Which of you know Ford of this town?

Pist.

I ken the wight, he is of substance good.

Fal.

My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist.

Two yards and more.

Fal.

No quips now, Pistol: indeed, I am in the waste two yards about; but I am now about no waste, I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the action of her familiar stile, and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be english'd right, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.

Pist.

He hath study'd her well, ^{8 note}and translated her out of honesty into English.

Nym.

The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?

Fal.

Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse: she hath a legion of angels.

Pist.

^{9 note}As many devils entertain; and to her, boy, say I.

Nym.

The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.

Fal.

I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious ^{1 note}oeillades; sometimes, the beam of her view guilded my foot; sometimes, my portly belly.

Pist.

Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.

Nym.

I thank thee for that humour.

Fal.

O she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass. Here's another letter to her; she bears the purse too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. ^{2 note}I will be Cheater to them both, and they shall be Exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West-Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

Pist.
Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!

Nym.

I will run no base humour; here, take the humour-letter, I will keep the haviour of reputation.

Fal.
Hold, Sirrah, bear you these letters tightly,
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores. [To Robin.
Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go;
Trudge, plod away o'th' hoof, seek shelter, pack!
^{3 note}




Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,
French thrift, you rogues; my self, and skirted page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Boy.

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