&plquo;When a man's servant shall play the cur with him,
look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a
puppey, one that I sav'd from drowning, when three
or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I
have taught him, even as one would say precisely,
thus I would teach a dog. I went to deliver him, as
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a present to mistress Silvia from my master; and I
came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps
me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O,
'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keep himself in
all companies! I would have, as one should say, one
that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it
were, a dog at all things. If I had no more wit
than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think
verily, he had been hang'd for't; sure as I live, he
had suffer'd for't; you shall judge. He thrusts me
himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like
dogs, under the Duke's table: he had not been
there (bless the mark) a pissing while, but all the
chamber smelt him. Out with the dog, says one;
what cur is that? says another; whip him out, says
the third; hang him up, says the Duke. I, having
been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was
Crab, and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs;
Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay,
marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more
wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of.
He makes no more ado, but whips me out of the
chamber. How many masters would do this for
their servant? nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the
stocks for the puddings he hath stoll'n, otherwise he
had been executed; I have stood on the pillory for
the geese he hath kill'd, otherwise he had suffer'd
for't. Thou think'st not of this now. Nay, I remember
the trick you serv'd me, 2 notewhen I took my
leave of Madam Julia; did not I bid thee still mark
me, and do as I do? when didst thou see me heave
up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's
farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick?&prquo;