SCENE I.
Enter Clown and Fabian.
Fab.
Now, as thou lov'st me, let me see this Letter.
Clo.
Good Mr. Fabian, grant me another Request.
Fab.
Any thing.
Clo.
Do not desire to see this Letter.
Fab.
This is to give a Dog, and in recompence desire
my Dog again.
Enter Duke, Viola, Curio, and Lords.
Duke.
Belong you to the Lady Olivia, Friends?
Clo.
Ay, Sir, we are some of her Trappings.
Duke.
I know thee well; how dost thou, my good
Fellow?
Clo.
Truly, Sir, the better for my Foes, and the worse
for my Friends.
Duke.
Just the contrary; the better for thy Friends.
Clo.
No, Sir, the worse.
Duke.
How can that be?
Clo.
Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an Ass of me;
now my Foes tell me plainly, I am an Ass: So that by my
Foes, Sir, I profit in the Knowledge of my self, and by my
Friends I am abused: So that Conclusions to be as Kisses, if
your four Negatives make your two Affirmatives, why then
the worse for my Friends, and the better for my Foes.
Duke.
Why this is Excellent.
Clo.
By my troth, Sir, no; tho' it please you to be one
of my Friends.
Duke.
Thou shalt not be the worse for me, there's Gold.
Clo.
But that it would be double-dealing, Sir, I would
could make it another.
Duke.
O you give me ill Counsel.
Clo.
Put your Grace in your Pocket, Sir, for this once,
and let your Flesh and Blood obey it.
Duke.
Well, I will be so much a Sinner to be a double-dealer:
There's another.
Clo.
Primo, Secundo, Tertio, is a good Play, and the old
saying is, the third pays for all: The triplex, Sir, is a good
-- 877 --
tripping Measure, or the Bells of St. Bennet, Sir, may put
you in mind, one, two, three.
Duke.
You can fool no more Mony out of me at this
throw: If you will let your Lady know I am here to speak
with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my
Bounty further.
Clo.
Marry, Sir, lullaby to your Bounty 'till I come again.
I go, Sir, but I would not have you to think, that
my desire of having is the sin of Covetousness; but, as you
say, Sir, let your Bounty take a Nap, I will awake it anon.
[Exit Clown.
Enter Antonio and Officers.
Vio.
Here comes the Man, Sir, that did rescue me.
Duke.
That Face of his I do remember well;
Yet when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
As black as Vulcan, in the smoak of War:
A bawbling Vessel was he Captain of,
For shallow Draught and Bulk unprizable,
With which such scathful Grapple did he make,
With the most noble Bottom of our Fleet,
That very Envy, and the Tongue of Loss
Cry'd Fame and Honour on him. What's the matter?
1 Offic.
Orsino, this is that Antonio
That took the Phœnix and her Fraught from Candy,
And this is he that did the Tyger board,
When your young Nephew Titus lost his Leg:
Here in the Streets, desperate of Shame and State,
In private Brabble did we apprehend him.
Vio.
He did me kindness, Sir; drew on my side,
But in conclusion put strange Speech upon me,
I know not what 'twas, but Distraction.
Duke.
Notable Pirate, thou salt Water Thief,
What foolish Boldness brought thee to their Mercies,
Whom thou in Terms so bloody, and so dear
Hast made thine Enemies?
Ant.
Orsino: Noble, Sir,
Be pleas'd, that I shake off these Names you give me:
Antonio never yet was Thief, or Pirate;
Though I confess, on base and groud enough,
Orsino's Enemy. A Witchcraft drew me hither:
That most ungrateful Boy, there by your Side,
From the rude Seas enrag'd and foamy Mouth
-- 878 --
Did I redeem; a wrack past Hope he was:
His Life I gave him, and did thereto add
My Love without Retention, or Restraint;
All this in Dedication. For his Sake,
Did I expose my self (pure for his Love)
Into the Danger of this adverse Town,
Drew to defend him, when he was beset;
Where being apprehended, his false Cunning
(Not meaning to partake with me in Danger)
Taught him to face me out of his Acquaintance,
And grew a twenty Years removed thing,
While one would wink; deny'd me mine own Purse,
Which I had recommended to his use,
Not half an Hour before.
Vio.
How can this be?
Duke.
When came he to this Town?
Ant.
To Day, my Lord; and for three Months before,
No Interim, not a minute's Vacancy,
Both Day and Night did we keep Company.
Enter Olivia and Attendants.
Duke.
Here comes the Countess; now Heav'n walks on
Earth;
But for thee, Fellow; Fellow, thy Words are Madness,
Three Months this Youth hath tended upon me;
But more of that anon. Take him aside.
Oli.
What would my Lord, but that he may not have,
Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
Cesario, you do not keep Promise with me.
Vio.
Madam.
Duke.
Gracious Olivia.
Oli.
What do you say, Cesario? Good my Lord—
Vio.
My Lord would speak, my Duty hushes me.
Oli.
If it be ought to the old Tune my Lord,
It is as fat and fulsome to mine Ear,
As howling after Musick.
Duke.
Still so cruel?
Oli.
Still so constant, my Lord.
Duke.
What to perverseness? you uncivil Lady,
To whose ingrate, and unauspicious Altars,
My Soul the faithfull'st Offerings have breath'd out
That e'er Devotion tender'd. What shall I do?
-- 879 --
Oli.
Even what it please my Lord, that shall become him.
Duke.
Why should I not, had I the Heart to do it,
Like to the Egyptian Thief, at point of Death
Kill what I love? a savage Jealousie,
That sometime savours nobly; but hear me this:
Since you to Non-Regardance cast my Faith,
And that I partly know the Instrument
That screws me from my true Place in your Favour:
Live you the Marble-breasted Tyrant still.
But this your Minion, whom I know you love,
And whom, by Heav'n, I swear, I tender dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel Eye,
Where he sits crowned in his Master's Spight.
Come Boy with me, my Thoughts are ripe in Mischief:
I'll sacrifice the Lamb that I do love.
To spight a Raven's Heart within a Dove.
Vio.
And I most jocond, apt, and willingly,
To do you Rest a thousand Deaths would die.
Oli.
Where goes Cesario?
Vio.
After him I love,
More than I love these Eyes, more than my Life,
More by all mores, than e'er I shall love Wife.
If I do feign, you Witnesses above
Punish my Life, for tainting of my Love.
Oli.
Ay me, detested, how am I beguil'd?
Vio.
Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong?
Oli.
Hast thou forgot thy self? Is it so long?
Call forth the holy Father.
Duke.
Come, away.
Oli.
Whither, my Lord? Cesario, Husband, stay.
Duke.
Husband?
Oli.
Ay, Husband; can he that deny?
Duke.
Her Husband, Sirrah?
Vio.
No my Lord, not I.
Oli.
Alas, it is the Baseness of thy Fear,
That makes thee strangle thy Propriety:
Fear not Cesario, take thy Fortunes up,
Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art
As great as that thou fear'st.
-- 880 --
Enter Priest.
O welcome, Father.
Father, I charge thee by thy Reverence
Here to unfold, tho' lately we intended
To keep in Darkness, what occasion now
Reveals before 'tis ripe; what thou dost know
Hath newly past between this Youth and me.
Priest.
A Contract of eternal Bond of Love,
Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your Hands,
Attested by the holy close of Lips,
Strengthned by enterchangement of your Rings,
And all the Ceremony of this Compact
Seal'd in my Function, by my Testimony:
Since when, my Watch hath told me, toward my Grave
I have travell'd but two Hours.
Duke.
O thou dissembling Cub; what wilt thou be
When Time hath sow'd a grizzel on thy Case?
Or will not else thy Craft so quickly grow,
That thine own Trip shall be thine overthrow?
Farewel, and take her, but direct thy Feet,
Where thou and I, henceforth, may never meet.
Vio.
My Lord, I do protest—
Oli.
O do not swear,
How little Faith, tho' thou hast too much Fear.
Enter Sir Andrew with his Head broke.
Sir And.
For the Love of God a Surgeon, and one presently
to Sir Toby.
Oli.
What's the matter?
Sir And.
H'as broke my Head a-cross, and given Sir Toby
a bloody Coxcomb too: For the Love of God your help,
I had rather than forty Pound I were at home.
Oli.
Who has done this, Sir Andrew?
Sir And.
The Count's Gentleman, one Cesario; we took
him for a Coward, but he's the very Devil incarnate.
Duke.
My Gentleman Cesario?
Sir And.
Od's lifelings, here he is: You broke my Head
for nothing, and that that I did, I was set on to do't by
Sir Toby.
Vio.
Why do you speak to me, I never hurt you:
You drew your Sword upon me without Cause,
But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
-- 881 --
Enter Sir Toby and Clown.
Sir And.
If a bloody Coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt
me: I think you set nothing by a bloody Coxcomb. Here
comes Sir Toby halting, you shall hear more; but if he had
not been in drink, he would have tickled you other-gates
than he did.
Duke.
How now, Gentleman? how is't with you?
Sir To.
That's all one, h'as hurt me, and there's an end
on't; Sot, didst thou see Dick Surgeon, Sot?
Clo.
O he's drunk, Sir, above an hour agone; his Eyes
were set at eight i'th' Morning.
Sir To.
Then he's a Rogue after a passy measures Pavin:
I hate a drunken Rogue.
Oli.
Away with him? Who hath made this havock with
them?
Sir And.
I'll help you, Sir Toby, because we'll be drest
together.
Sir To.
Will you help an Ass-head, and a Coxcomb, and a
Knave, a thin fac'd Knave, a Gull?
[Exe. Clo. To. & And.
Oli.
Get him to Bed, and let his hurt be look'd to.
Enter Sebastian.
Seb.
I am sorry, Madam, I have hurt your Kinsman:
But had it been the Brother of my Blood,
I must have done no less with Wit and Safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that
I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the Vows
We made each other, but so late ago.
Duke.
One Face, one Voice, one Habit, and two Persons,
A natural Perspective, that is, and is not.
Seb.
Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me,
Since I have lost thee?
Ant.
Sebastian are you?
Seb.
Fear'st thou that, Antonio?
Ant.
How have you made Division of your self,
An Apple cleft in two, is not more twin
Than these two Creatures. Which is Sebastian!
Oli.
Most wonderful!
Seb.
Do I stand there? I never had a Brother:
Nor can there be a Deity in my Nature
-- 882 --
Of here and every where. I had a Sister,
Whom the blind Waves and Surges have devour'd:
Of Charity, what kin are to you to me?
[To Viola.
What Countryman? what Name? what Parentage?
Vio.
Of Messaline; Sebastian was my Father,
Such a Sebastian was my Brother too:
So went he suited to his watery Tomb.
If Spirits can assume both Form and Suit,
You come to fright us.
Seb.
A Spirit I am indeed,
But am in that Dimension grosly clad,
Which from the Womb I did participate.
Were you a Woman, as the rest go even,
I should my Tears let fall upon your Cheek,
And say, thrice welcome drowned Viola.
Vio.
My Father had a Moal upon his Brow.
Seb.
And so had mine.
Vio.
And dy'd that day when Viola from her Birth
Had numbred thirteen Years.
Seb.
O that Record is lively in my Soul,
He finished indeed his mortal Act
That day that made my Sister thirteen Years.
Vio.
If nothing letts to make us happy both,
But this my Masculine usurp'd Attire;
Do not Embrace me, 'till each Circumstance
Of Place, Time, Fortune, do cohere and jump
That I am Viola; which to confirm,
I'll bring you a Captain in this Town
Where lye my Maiden Weeds; by whose gentle help
I was preserv'd to serve this Noble Duke.
All the Occurrence of my Fortune since
Hath been between this Lady, and this Lord.
Seb.
So comes it, Lady, you have been mistook:
[To Oli.
But Nature to her Bias drew in that.
You would have been contracted to a Maid,
Nor are you therein, by my Life, deceiv'd,
You are betroth'd both to a Maid and Man.
Duke.
Be not amaz'd, right Noble is his Blood:
If this be so, as yet the Glass seems true,
I shall have share in this most happy Wreck.
Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times,
[To Viola.
-- 883 --
Thou never should'st love Woman like to me.
Vio.
And all those sayings will I over-swear,
And all those swearings keep as true in Soul,
As doth that orbed Continent, the Fire,
That severs Day from Night.
Duke.
Give me thy Hand,
And let me see thee in thy Woman's Weeds.
Vio.
The Captain that did bring me first on Shore,
Hath my Maids Garments: He upon some Action
Is now in Durance, at Malvolio's Suit,
A Gentleman and Follower of my Lady's.
Oli.
He shall enlarge him: Fetch Malvolio hither.
And yet alas, now I remember me,
They say, poor Gentleman, he's much distract.
Enter the Clown with a Letter, and Fabian.
A most exacting Frenzy of mine own,
From my remembrance clearly banish'd his.
How does he, Sirrah?
Clo.
Truly, Madam, he holds Belzebub at the Staves end
as well as a Man in his Case may do: H'as here writ a Letter
to you, I should have given't you to day Morning. But
as a mad Man's Epistles are no Gospels, so it skills not much
when they are deliver'd.
Oli.
Open't and read it.
Clo.
Look then to be well edify'd, when the Fool delivers
the Mad-man—By the Lord, Madam.
[Reads.
Oli.
How now, art thou mad?
Clo.
No, Madam, I do but read Madness: And your
Ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow
Vox.
Oli.
Prethee read it i'thy right Wits.
Clo.
So I do, Madona; but to read his right Wits, is
to read thus: Therefore perpend, my Princess, and give
ear.
Oli.
Read it you, Sirrah.
[To Fabian.
Fab. [Reads.]
By the Lord, Madam, you wrong me, and
the World shall know it: Though you have put me into Darkness,
and given your drunken Cousin Rule over me, yet have I
benefit of my Senses as well as your Ladyship. I have your
own Letter, that induced me to the semblance I put on; with
the which I doubt not, but to do my self much Right, or you
-- 884 --
much Shame: Think of me as you please; I leave my Duty a
little unthought of, and speak out of my Injury.
The madly us'd Malvolio.
Oli.
Did he write this?
Clo.
Ay, Madam.
Duke.
This savours not much of Distraction.
Oli.
See him deliver'd, Fabian, bring him hither.
My Lord, so please you, these things further thought on,
To think me as well a Sister, as a Wife,
One day shall crown th'Alliance on't, so please you;
Here at my House, and at my proper Cost.
Duke.
Madam, I am most apt t'embrace your offer.
Your Master quits you; and for your Service done him,
So much against the Metal of your Sex,
[To Viola.
So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
And since you call'd me Master, for so long:
Here is my Hand, you shall from this time be
Your Master's Mistress.
Oli.
A Sister, you are she.
Enter Malvolio.
Duke.
Is this the mad Man?
Oli.
Ay, my Lord, this same: how now Malvolio?
Mal.
Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong.
Oli.
Have I, Malvolio? No.
Mal.
Lady you have, pray you peruse that Letter.
You must not now deny it is your Hand,
Write from it if you can, in Hand or Phrase,
Or say 'tis not your Seal, nor your Invention;
You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,
And tell me in the modesty of Honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of Favour,
Bad me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to you,
To put on yellow Stockings, and to frown
Upon Sir Toby, and the lighter People?
And acting this in an obedient Hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark House, visited by the Priest,
And made the most notorious Geck or Gull
That e'er Invention plaid on? Tell me why?
-- 885 --
Oli.
Alas, Malvolio, this is not my Writing,
Tho', I confess, much like the Character:
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's Hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she
First told me thou wast mad; then cam'st in smiling,
And in such Forms, which here were presuppos'd
Upon thee in the Letter: Prethee be content,
This practice hath most shrewdly past upon thee;
But when we know the Grounds and Authors of it,
Thou shalt be both the Plaintiff and the Judge
Of thine own Cause.
Fab.
Good Madam, hear me speak,
And let no Quarrel, nor no Brawl to come,
Taint the Condition of this present Hour,
Which I have wondred at. In hope it shall not,
Most freely I confess my self and Toby
Set this Device against Malvolio here,
Upon some stubborn and uncourteous Parts
We had conceiv'd against him. Maria writ
The Letter, at Sir Toby's great importance,
In recompence whereof he hath married her.
How with a sportful Malice it was follow'd,
May rather pluck on Laughter than Revenge,
If that the Injuries be justly weigh'd,
That have on both sides past.
Oli.
Alas, poor Fool! how have they baffled thee?
Clo.
Why some are born Great, some atchieve Greatness,
and some have Greatness thrown upon them. I was one,
Sir, in this Interlude, one Sir Topas, Sir, but that's all one:
By the Lord, Fool, I am not mad; but do you remember,
Madam, why laugh you at such a barren Rascal? And you
smile not he's gagg'd: And thus the Whirl-gigg of Time
brings in his Revenges.
Mal.
I'll be reveng'd on the whole pack of you.
[Exit.
Oli.
He hath been most notoriously abus'd.
Duke.
Pursue him, and entreat him to a Peace:
He hath not told us of the Captain yet;
When that is known, and golden Time convents,
A solemn Combination shall be made
Of our dear Souls. Mean time, sweet Sister,
-- 886 --
We will not part from hence. Cesario come,
(For so you shall be, while you are a Man;)
But when in other Habits you are seen,
Orsino's Mistress, and his Fancy's Queen.
[Exeuut.
Clown sings.
When that I was and a little tine Boy,
With hey, ho, the Wind and the Rain:
A foolish thing was but a Toy,
For the Rain it raineth every day.
But when I came to Man's Estate,
With hey, ho, &c.
'Gainst Knaves and Thieves Men shut their Gate,
For the Rain, &c.
But when I came at last to Wive,
With hey, ho, &c.
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the Rain, &c.
But when I came unto my Beds,
With hey, ho, &c.
With Tospots still had drunken Heads,
For the Rain, &c.
A great while ago the World begun,
With hey, ho, &c.
But that's all one, our Play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day.
[Exit.
