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Charles Gildon [1709–1710], The works of Mr. William Shakespear; in six [seven] volumes. Adorn'd with Cuts. Revis'd and Corrected, with an Account of the Life and Writings of the Author. By N. Rowe ([Vol. 7] Printed for E. Curll... and E. Sanger [etc.], London) [word count] [S11401].
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SCENE III. Enter Clown, Audrey and Jaques.

Clo.

Come apace, good Audrey, I will fetch up your Goats, Audrey; and now, Audrey, am I the Man yet? Doth my simple Feature content you?

Aud.

Your Features, Lord warrant us; what Features?

Clo.

I am here with thee, and thy Goats, as the most capricious Poet honest Ovid was among the Goths.

Jaq.

O Knowledge ill inhabited, worse than Jove in a Thatch't House.

Clo.

When a Man's Verses cannot be understood, nor a Man's good Wit seconded with the forward Child, Understanding; it strikes a Man more dead than a great Reckoning in a little Room; truly, I would the Gods had made thee Poetical.

Aud.

I do not know what Poetical is; is it honest in Deed and Word; is it a true thing?

Clo.

No truly; for the truest Poety is the most feigning,

-- 638 --

and Lovers are given to Poetry; and what they swear in Poetry, may be said as Lovers, they do feign.

Aud.

Do you wish then that the Gods had made me Poetical?

Clo.

I do truly; for thou swear'st to me thou art honest: now if thou wert a Poet, I might have some hope thou didst feign.

Aud.

Would you not have me honest?

Clo.

No truly, unless thou were hard-favour'd; for Honesty coupled to Beauty, is to have Honey a Sauce to Sugar.

Jaq.

A material Fool.

Aud.

Well, I am not fair, and therefore I pray the Gods make me honest.

Clo.

Truly, and to cast away Honesty upon a foul Slut, were to put good Meat into an unclean Dish.

Aud.

I am not a Slut, though I thank the Gods I am foul.

Clo.

Well, praised be the Gods for thy Foulness; Sluttishness may come hereafter: But be it as it may be, I will marry thee; and to that end I have been with Sir Oliver Mar-text, the Vicar of the next Village, who hath promis'd to meet me in this Place of the Forest, and to couple us.

Jaq.

I would fain see this Meeting.

Aud.

Well, the Gods give us Joy.

Clo.

Amen. A Man may, if he were of a fearful Heart, stagger in this Attempt; for here we have no Temple but the Wood, no Assembly but Horn-beasts. But what tho'? Courage. As Horns are odious, they are necessary. It is said, many a Man knows no End of his Goods; right: many a Man has good Horns, and knows no End of them. Well, that is the Dowry of his Wife, 'tis none of his own getting; Horns? even so—poor Men alone—no, no, the noblest Deer hath them as huge as the Rascal: Is the single Man therefore blessed? No. As a wall'd Town is more worthier than a Village, so is the Forehead of a married Man more honourable than the bare Brow of a Batchelor; and by how much Defence is better than no Skill, so much is a Horn more precious than to want.

-- 639 --

Enter Sir Oliver Mar-text.

Here comes Sir Oliver: Sir Oliver Mar-text, you are well met. Will you dispatch us here under this Tree, or shall we go with you to your Chappel?

Sir Oli.

Is there none here to give the Woman?

Clo.

I will not take her on Gift of any Man.

Sir Oli.

Truly she must be given, or the Marriage is not lawful.

Jaq.

Proceed, proceed! I'll give her.

Clo.

Good Even, good M. What ye call't: How do you Sir, you are very well met: Godild you for your last Company, I am very glad to see you, even a Toy in Hand here Sir: Nay; pray be covered.

Jaq.

Will you be married, Motley?

Clo.

As the Ox hath his Bow, Sir, the Horse his Curb, and the Falcon his Bells, so Man hath his Desire; and as Pigeons bill, so Wedlock would be nibling.

Jaq.

And will you, being a Man of your Breeding, be married under a Bush like a Beggar? Get you to Church, and have a good Priest that can tell you what Marriage is; this Fellow will but join you together as they join Wainscot, then one of you will prove a shrunk Pannel, and like Timber, warp, warp.

Clo.

I am not in the Mind, but I were better to be married of him than of another; for he is not like to marry me well; and not being well married, it will be a good Excuse for me hereafter to leave my Wife.

Jaq.
Go thou with me,
And let me counsel thee.

Clo.
Come, sweet Audrey,
We must be married, or we must live in bawdry:

Farewel good Mr. Oliver; not O sweet Oliver, O brave Oliver, leave me not behind thee: But wind away, be gone I say, I will not to wedding with thee.

Sir Oli.

'Tis no matter; ne'er a fantastical Knave of them all shall flout me out of my Calling.

[Exeunt.

-- 640 --

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Charles Gildon [1709–1710], The works of Mr. William Shakespear; in six [seven] volumes. Adorn'd with Cuts. Revis'd and Corrected, with an Account of the Life and Writings of the Author. By N. Rowe ([Vol. 7] Printed for E. Curll... and E. Sanger [etc.], London) [word count] [S11401].
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