Nerissa.
Por.
By my Troth, Nerissa, my little Body is weary of
this great World.
Ner.
You would be, sweet Madam, if your Miseries were
in the same Abundance as your good Fortunes are; and yet,
for ought I see, they are as sick that surfeit with too much,
as they that starve with nothing; therefore it is no small
Happiness to be seated in the Mean; Superfluity comes sooner
by white Hairs, but Competency lives longer.
Por.
Good Sentences, and well pronounc'd.
Ner.
They would be better, if well follow'd.
Por.
If to do were as easie as to know what were good to
do, Chappels had been Churches, and poor Mens Cottages
Princes Palaces: It is a good Divine that follows his own
Instructions; I can easier teach twenty what were good to
be done, than to be one of the twenty to follow mine own
teaching. The Brain may devise Laws for the Blood, but a
hot Temper leaps o'er a cold Decree; such a Hare is Madness
the Youth, to skip o'er the Meshes of good Counsel
the Cripple. But this Reason is not in Fashion to chuse me
a Husband: O me, the Word chuse! I may neither chuse
whom I would, nor refuse whom I dislike, so is the Will
of a living Daughter curb'd by the Will of a dead Father:
Is it not hard, Nerissa, that I cannot chuse one, nor refuse
none?
Ner.
Your Father was ever Virtuous, and holy Men at
their Death have good Inspirations; therefore the Lottery
that he hath devised in these three Chests of Gold, Silver,
and Lead, whereof, who chuses his Meaning, chuses you,
will no doubt never be chosen by any rightly, but one who
you shall rightly love. But what Warmth is there in your
Affection towards any of these Princely Suters that are already
come?
-- 531 --
Por.
I pray thee over-name them, and as thou nam'st
them, I will describe them, and according to my Description,
level at my Affection.
Ner.
First there is the Neapolitan Prince.
Por.
Ay, that's a Colt indeed, for he doth nothing but
talk of his Horse, and he makes it a great Appropriation
to his own good Parts that he can shoo him himself: I am
much afraid my Lady his Mother plaid false with a
Smith.
Ner.
Then is there the County Palentine.
Por.
He doth nothing but frown, as who should say, and
you will not have me, chuse: He hears merry Tales and
smiles not, I fear he will prove the weeping Philosopher
when he grows old, being so full of unmannerly Sadness in
his Youth. I had rather to be married to a Death's Head
with a Bone in his Mouth, than to either of these. God
defend me from these two.
Ner.
How say you by the French Lord, Monsieur Le
Boun?
Por.
God made him, and therefore let him pass for a Man;
in truth I know it is Sin to be a Mocker; but he! why
he hath a Horse better than the Neapolitan's, a better bad Habit
of Frowning than the Count Palentine, he is every Man
in no Man, if a Tassel sing, he falls straight a Capring; he
will fence with his own Shadow; if I should marry him, I
should marry twenty Husbands; if he would despise me, I
would forgive him, for if he love me to Madness, I should
never requite him.
Ner.
What say you then to Fauconbridge, the young Baron
of England?
Por.
You know I say nothing to him, for he understands
not me, nor I him; he hath neither Latin, French, nor Italian,
and you will come into the Court and swear that I have
a poor Penny-worth in English; he is a proper Man's Picture,
but alas who can converse with a dumb Show? How odly
he is suited! I think he bought his Doublet in Italy, his
round Hose in France, his Bonnet in Germany, and his Behaviour
every where.
Ner.
What think you of the other Lord his Neighbour?
-- 532 --
Por.
That he hath a neighbourly Charity in him, for
he borrow'd a Box of the Ear of the English-man, and
swore he would pay him again when he was able. I think
the French-man became his Surety, and sealed under for another.
Ner
How like you the young German, the Duke of
Saxony's Nephew?
Por.
Very vildly in the Morning when he is sober, and
most vildly in the Afternoon when he is drunk; when he is
best, he is a little worse than a Man, and when he is worst,
he is little better than a Beast; and the worst Fall that ever
fell, I hope I shall make shift to go without him.
Ner.
If he should offer to chuse, and chuse the right
Casket, you should refuse to perform your Father's Will, if
you should refuse to accept him.
Por.
Therefore for fear of the worst, I pray thee set a
deep Glass of Rhenish Wine on the contrary Casket, for if
the Devil be within, and the Temptation without, I know
he will chuse it. I will do any thing, Nerissa, e'er I will be
marry'd to a Spunge.
Ner.
You need not fear Lady the having any of these
Lords, they have acquainted me with their Determination,
which is indeed to return to their Home, and to trouble
you with no more Suits, unless you may be won by some
other sort than your Father's Imposition, depending on the
Caskets.
Por.
If I live to be as old as Sibilla, I will die as chaste
as Diana, unless I be obtain'd by the manner of my Father's
Will: I am glad this Parcel of Wooers are so reasonable,
for there is not one among them but I doat on his
very Absence, and wish them a fair Departure.
Ner.
Do you not remember, Lady, in your Father's
time, a Venetian, a Scholar and a Soldier that came hither
in Company of the Marquiss of Mountferrat?
Por.
Yes, yes, it was Bassanio, as I think, so was he
call'd.
Ner.
True Madam, he of all the Men that ever my
foolish Eyes look'd upon, was the best deserving a fair
Lady.
Por.
I remember him well, and I remember him worthy
of thy Praise.
-- 533 --
Enter a Servant.
Ser.
The four Strangers seek you, Madam, to take their
Leave; and there is a Fore-runner come from a fifth,
The Prince of Morocco, who brings Word the Prince his
Master will be here to Night.
Por.
If I could bid the Fifth welcome with so good Heart
as I can bid the other four farewel, I should be glad of
his Approach; if he have the Condition of a Saint, and
the Complexion of a Devil, I had rather he should shrive
me than wive me. Come Nerissa, Sirrah go before; whiles
we shut the Gate upon one Wooer, another knocks at the
Door.
[Exeunt.
Charles Gildon [1709–1710], The works of Mr. William Shakespear; in six [seven] volumes. Adorn'd with Cuts. Revis'd and Corrected, with an Account of the Life and Writings of the Author. By N. Rowe ([Vol. 7] Printed for E. Curll... and E. Sanger [etc.], London) [word count] [S11401].