TO MRS. LUCY SUMNER.
Hartford.

The retirement of my native home
is not &longs;o gloomy, &longs;ince my return from Boston,
as I expected, from the contra&longs;t between
them.

Indeed, the cu&longs;toms and amu&longs;ements of this
place are materially altered, &longs;ince the residence
of Major Sanford among us. The dull,
old fa&longs;hioned &longs;obriety which formerly prevailed,
is nearly bani&longs;hed; and cheerfulne&longs;s, vivacity,
and enjoyment are &longs;ub&longs;tituted in its
&longs;tead. Plea&longs;ure is now diffu&longs;ed through all
ranks of the people, e&longs;pecially the rich; and
&longs;urely it ought to be cultivated, &longs;ince the wi&longs;e&longs;t
of men informs us, that “a merry heart doth
good like a medicine.” As human life has
many di&longs;ea&longs;es, which require medicines, are
we not right in &longs;electing the mo&longs;t agreeable
and palatable? Major Sanford's example has
had great influence upon our &longs;ociety in general;
and though &longs;ome of our old dons think
him rather licentious; yet, for ought I can &longs;ee,
he is as &longs;trict an ob&longs;erver ofdecorum, as the be&longs;t

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of them. True, he &longs;eldom goes to church;
but what of that? The Deity is not con&longs;ined to
temples made with hands. He may wor&longs;hip
him as devoutly el&longs;ewhere, if he chu&longs;es; and
who has a right to &longs;ay he does not?

His return from Bo&longs;ton was but a day or
two after mine. He paid me an early vi&longs;it;
and, indeed, has been very attentive ever &longs;ince.
My mamma is &longs;omewhat preci&longs;e in her notions
of propriety; and of cour&longs;e, blames me for
a&longs;&longs;ociating &longs;o freely with him. She &longs;ays,
that my engagements to Mr. Boyer ought to
render me more &longs;edate; and more indifferent
to the gallantry of mere plea&longs;ure-bunters, to
u&longs;e her phra&longs;e. But I think otherwi&longs;e. If I
am to become a reclu&longs;e, let me, at lea&longs;t, enjoy
tho&longs;e amu&longs;ements, which are &longs;uited to my ta&longs;te,
a &longs;hort time fir&longs;t. Why &longs;hould I refu&longs;e the
polite attentions of this gentleman? They
&longs;moothe the rugged path of life, and wonderfully
accelerate the lagging wheels of time.

Indeed, Lucy, he has an admirable talent
for contributing to vary, and increa&longs;e amusement.
We have few hours unimproved. Some
new plan of plea&longs;ure, and &longs;ociability is constantly
courting our adoption. He lives in all
the magnificence of a prince; and why &longs;hould
I, who can doubtle&longs;s &longs;hare that magnificence if
I plea&longs;e, forego the advantages and indulgences
it offers, merely to gratify tho&longs;e friends
who pretend to be better judges of my happiness
than I am my&longs;elf.

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I have not yet told my mamma that he entertains
me with the lover's theme; or, at lea&longs;t,
that I li&longs;ten to it. Yet I mu&longs;t own to you,
from whom I have never concealed an action
or idea, that his &longs;ituation in life charms my imagination;
that the apparent &longs;ervor and sincerity
of his pa&longs;&longs;ion affect my heart. Yet there is
&longs;omething extremely problematical in his conduct.
He is very urgent with me to di&longs;&longs;olve
my connection with Mr. Boyer, and engage not
to marry him without his con&longs;ent; or knowledge,
to &longs;ay no more. He warmly applauds
my wi&longs;h, &longs;till longer to enjoy the freedom and
independence of a &longs;ingle &longs;tate; and profe&longs;&longs;edly
adopts it for his own. While he would disconnect
me from another, he my&longs;teriou&longs;ly conceals
his own intentions and views. In conversation
with him ye&longs;terday, I plainly told him
that his conduct was unaccountable; that if his
profe&longs;&longs;ions and de&longs;igns were honorable he
could not neglect to mention them to my
mamma; that I &longs;hould no longer con&longs;ent to
carry on a clande&longs;tine intercour&longs;e with him;
that I hourly expected Mr. Boyer, whom I esteemed,
and who was the favorite of my frinds;
and that unle&longs;s he acted openly in this affair before
his arrival, I &longs;hould give my hand to him.

He appeared thunder&longs;truck at this declaration.
All his words and actions were indicative
of the mo&longs;t violent emotions of mind. He
entreated me to recall the &longs;entence; for I knew
not, he &longs;aid, his motives for &longs;ecrecy; yet he

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&longs;olemnly &longs;wore that they were honorable. I
replied in the words of the poet,


“Tru&longs;t not a man, they are by nature cruel,
Fal&longs;e, deceitful, treacherous, and incon&longs;tant.
When a man talks of love, with caution hear him;
But if he &longs;wear, he'll certainly deceive you.”
He begged that he might know by what means
he had provoked my &longs;u&longs;picions; by what
means he had for&longs;eited my confidence? His
importunity vanqui&longs;hed my fortitude; and
before we parted, I again promi&longs;ed to make
him acquainted, from time to time, with the
progre&longs;s of my connection with Mr. Boyer.

Now, my dear friend, I want your advice more
than ever. I am inadvertently embarra&longs;&longs;ed by
this man; and how to extricate my&longs;elf, I know
not. I am &longs;en&longs;ible that the power is in my
hands; but the di&longs;po&longs;ition (&longs;hall I confe&longs;s it)
is wanting!

“I know the right, and I approve it too;
I know the wrong and yet the wrong pur&longs;ue!”

I have ju&longs;t received a card from Major Sanford,
inviting me to ride this afternoon. At
fir&longs;t I thought of returning a negative an&longs;wer;
but recollecting that Mr. Boyer mu&longs;t &longs;oon be
here, I concluded it be&longs;t to embrace this opportunity,
of talking further with him. I mu&longs;t
now prepare to go; but &longs;hall not clo&longs;e this letter,
for I intend writing in continuation, as events
occur, till this important bu&longs;ine&longs;s is decided.

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Tue&longs;day evening. The little tour which I
mentioned to you this afternoon, was not productive
of a final determination. The &longs;ame
plea was repeated over, and over again, without
clo&longs;ing the cau&longs;e. On my return I found
Mr. Boyer waiting to receive me. My heart
beat an involuntary welcome. I received him
very cordially, though with a kind of plea&longs;ure
mixed with apprehen&longs;ion. I mu&longs;t own that his
conver&longs;ation and manners are much better calculated
to bear the &longs;crutini&longs;ing eye of a refined
under&longs;tanding and ta&longs;te, than Major Sanford's.
But whether the fancy ought not to be consulted
about our &longs;ettlement for life, is with me a
que&longs;tion.

When we parted la&longs;t, I had promi&longs;ed Mr.
Boyer, to inform him po&longs;itively, at this vi&longs;it,
when my hand &longs;hould be given. He therefore
came, as he told me in the cour&longs;e of our conversation,
with the re&longs;olution of claiming the
ful&longs;ilment of this promi&longs;e.

I begged ab&longs;olution; told him, that I could
not po&longs;&longs;ibly &longs;atisfy his claim; and &longs;ought &longs;till
to evade, and put off the important deci&longs;ion.
He grew warm; and affirmed that I treated
him ungenerou&longs;ly, and made needle&longs;s delays.
He even accu&longs;ed me of indifference towards
him; and of partiality to another. Major
Sanford he believed, was the man who
robbed him of the affection which he had supposed
his due. He warned me again&longs;t any intercourse
with him, and in&longs;i&longs;ted that I mu&longs;t

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renounce the &longs;ociety of the one or the other immediately.
He would leave me, he &longs;aid, this evening
and call to morrow to know the re&longs;ult of
my determination. It was late before he bade
me good night; &longs;ince which I have written
the&longs;e particulars. It is now time to lay a&longs;ide
my pen, and deliberate what cour&longs;e to take.

Wedne&longs;day Evening. La&longs;t night I clo&longs;ed not
my eyes. I ro&longs;e this morning with the &longs;un,
and went into the garden till breakfa&longs;t. My
mamma doubtle&longs;s &longs;aw the di&longs;order of my mind,
but kindly avoided any inquiry about it. She
was affectionately attentive to me, but &longs;aid nothing
of my particular concerns. I mentioned
not my embarra&longs;&longs;ment to her. She had declared
her&longs;elf in favor of Mr. Boyer; therefore
I had no expectation, that &longs;he would advise
impartially. I retired to my chamber,
and remained in a kind of reverie, for more
than an hour; when I was rou&longs;ed by the rattling
of a carriage at the door. I ha&longs;tened to
the window, and &longs;aw Major Sanford ju&longs;t driving
away. The idea of his having been to
conver&longs;e with my mamma, gave me new sensations.
A thou&longs;and perplexities occurred to my
mind relative to the part mo&longs;t proper for me to
act in this critical &longs;ituation. All the&longs;e might
have been avoided, had I gone down and inquired
into the matter; but this I delayed
till dinner. My mamma then informed me,
that Major Sanford had been with her, and
inquired for me; but that &longs;he thought it

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unnecessary to call me, as &longs;he prefumed I had no
particular bu&longs;ine&longs;s with him. I knew the motives
by which &longs;he was actuated, and was vexed
at her eva&longs;ions. I told her plainly, that &longs;he
would never carry her point in this way; that
I thought my&longs;elf capable of conducting my
own affairs; and wi&longs;hed her not to inter&longs;ere,
except by her advice, which I &longs;hould always
li&longs;ten to, and comply with when I could
po&longs;&longs;ibly make it con&longs;i&longs;tent with my inclination
and intere&longs;t. She wept at my undutiful
anger (of which I have &longs;everely repented &longs;ince)
and affectionately replied, that my happine&longs;s
was the object of her wi&longs;hes and prayers; conformably
to which &longs;he felt con&longs;trained, &longs;reely
to &longs;peak her mind, though it incurred my displeasure.
She then went through again with
all the comparative circum&longs;tances and merits
of the two candidates for my favor, which have
perpetually rung in my ears for months. I
&longs;hed tears at the idea of my embarra&longs;&longs;ment; and
in this condition Mr. Boyer found us. He appeared
to be affected by my vi&longs;ible di&longs;order; and
without inquiring the cau&longs;e, endeavored to dissipate
it. This was kindly done. He conversed
upon indifferent &longs;ubjects; and invited
me to ride, and take tea with your mamma, to
which I readily con&longs;ented. We found her at
home; and pa&longs;&longs;ed the time agreeably, excepting
the alloy of your ab&longs;ence. Mr. Boyer
touched lightly on the &longs;ubject of our laft evening's
debate; but expatiated largely on the

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plea&longs;ing power of love; and hoped that we
&longs;hould one day both realize and exemplify it
in perfection. When we returned, he observed
that it was late, and took his leave; telling
me that he &longs;hould call to morrow; and begged
that I would then relieve his &longs;u&longs;pen&longs;e. As I
was retiring to bed, the maid gave me a hint
that Major Sandford's &longs;ervant had been here
and left a letter. I turned in&longs;tantly back to
my mamma, and telling her my information,
demanded the letter. She he&longs;itated, but I insisted
on having it; and &longs;eeing me re&longs;olute, &longs;he
reluctantly gave it into my hand. It contained
the following words:

“Am I for&longs;aken? Am I abandoned? Oh
my adorable Eliza, have you &longs;acrificed me to
my rival? Have you condemned me to perpetual
bani&longs;hment, without a hearing?

I came this day, to plead my cau&longs;e at your
feet; but was cruelly denied the privilege of feeing
you! My mind is all anarchy and confu&longs;ion!
My &longs;oul is harrowed up with jealou&longs;y! I will
be revenged on tho&longs;e who &longs;eparate us, if that
di&longs;tracting event take place! But it is from
your lips only that I can hear my &longs;entence!
You mu&longs;t witne&longs;s its effects! To what lengths
my de&longs;pair may carry me, I know not! You
are the arbitre&longs;s of my fate!

Let me conjure you to meet me in your garden
to morrow at any hour you &longs;hall appoint.
My &longs;ervant will call for an an&longs;wer in the

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morning. Deny me not an interview; but have
pity on your faithful Sanford.”

I wrote for an&longs;wer, that I would meet him
to morrow, at five o'clock in the afternoon.

I have now before me another night for confideration;
and &longs;hall pa&longs;s it in that employment.
I purpo&longs;e not to &longs;ee Mr. Boyer, till I
have conver&longs;ed with Major Sanford.

Thur&longs;day Morning. The morning dawns,
and u&longs;hers in the day; a day, perhaps big with
the fate of your friend! What that fate may be
is wrapped in the womb of futurity; that futurity
which a kind Providence has wifely concealed
from the penetration of mortals!

After mature confideration; after revolving
and re-revolving every circum&longs;tance on both
&longs;ides of the que&longs;tion, I have nearly determined,
in compliance with the advice of my friends,
and the dictates of my own judgment, to give
Mr. Boyer the preference, and with him to
tread the future round of life.

As to the de&longs;pair of Major Sanford, it does
not much alarm me. Such violent pa&longs;&longs;ions are
&longs;eldom &longs;o deeply rooted, as to produce la&longs;ting
effects. I mu&longs;t, however, keep my word, and
meet him according to promi&longs;e.

Mr. Boyer is below. My mamma has ju&longs;t
&longs;ent me word that he wi&longs;hed to &longs;ee me. My
reply was that I had lain down, which was a fact.

One o'Clock. My mamma, alarmed by my indisposition,
has vi&longs;ited my apartment. I &longs;oon

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convinced her that it was but tri&longs;ling, owing
principally to the want of &longs;leep; and that an
airing in the garden, which I intended towards
night, would re&longs;tore me.

Ten o'clock, at night.—The day is pa&longs;t! and
&longs;uch a day it has been, as I hope never more to
&longs;ee!

At the hour appointed, I went tolerably
compo&longs;ed and re&longs;olute into the garden. I
had taken &longs;everal turns, and retired into the little
arbor, where you and I have &longs;pent &longs;o many
happy hours, before Major Sanford entered.
When he appeared, a con&longs;ciou&longs;ne&longs;s of the impropriety
of this clande&longs;tine intercour&longs;e suffused
my cheek, and gave a coldne&longs;s to my manners.
He immediately penetrated the cau&longs;e,
and ob&longs;erved that my very countenance told
him he was no longer a welcome gue&longs;t to me.
I a&longs;ked him if he ought &longs;o to be; &longs;ince his ma-tives
for &longs;eeking admi&longs;&longs;ion, were unworthy of
being communicated to my friends? That he &longs;aid
was not the ca&longs;e, but that prudence in the present
in&longs;tance required a temporary concealment.

He then undertook to exculpate him&longs;elf
from blame, a&longs;&longs;uring me that as &longs;oon as I &longs;hould
di&longs;countenance the expectations of Mr. Boyer,
and di&longs;continue the reception of his addre&longs;s, his
intentions &longs;hould be made known. He was
enlarging upon this topic, when we heard a
foot&longs;tep approaching us? and looking up &longs;aw
Mr. Boyer within a few paces of the arbor.—
Confu&longs;ion &longs;eized us both! We ro&longs;e

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involuntarily from our &longs;eats, but were mute as &longs;tatues!
He &longs;poke not a word, but ca&longs;ting a look of indignant
accu&longs;ation at me, a glance which penetrated
my very &longs;oul, turned on his heel, and
walked ha&longs;tily back to the hou&longs;e.

I &longs;tood a few moments, con&longs;idering what
cour&longs;e to take, though &longs;hame and regret had
almo&longs;t taken from me the power of thought.

Major Sanford took my hand. I withdrew
it from him. I mu&longs;t leave you, &longs;aid I. Where
will you go? &longs;aid he. I will go and try to retrieve
my character. It has &longs;uffered greatly
by this &longs;atal interview.

He threw him&longs;elf at my &longs;eet and exclaimed,
leave me not, Eliza, I conjure you not to leave
me. Let me go now, I rejoined, or I bid you
farewell for ever. I flew precipitately by him,
and went into the parlor, where I found Mr.
Boyer and my mamma, the one traver&longs;ing the
room in the greate&longs;t agitation; the other in a
flood of tears! Their appearance affected me;
and I wept like an infant! when I had a little
recovered my&longs;elf, I begged him to fit down;
He an&longs;wered no. I then told him, that however
unju&longs;ti&longs;iable my conduct might appear, perhaps
I might explain it to his &longs;atisfaction, if he
would hear me; that my motives were innocent,
though they doubtle&longs;s wore the a&longs;pect of
criminality, in his view. He &longs;ternly replied,
that no palliation could avail; that my motives
were &longs;ufficiently notorious! He, accu&longs;ed me of
treating him ill, of rendering him the dupe of

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coquetting artifice, of having an intrigue with
Major Sanford, and declared his determination
to leave me for ever, as unworthy of his regard,
and incapable of love, gratitude, or honor!—
There was too much rea&longs;on in &longs;upport of his
accu&longs;ations for me to gain&longs;ay them, had his
impetuo&longs;ity &longs;uffered me to attempt it.

But in truth I had no inclination to &longs;elf defence.
My natural vivacity had for&longs;aken me;
and I li&longs;tened without interrupting him to the
fluency of reproachful language, which his resentment
in&longs;pired. He took a very &longs;olemn and
affectionate leave of my mamma; thanking her
for her politene&longs;s, and wi&longs;hing her much future
felicity. He attempted to addre&longs;s me, I suppose
&longs;omewhat in the &longs;ame way; but his sensibility
overcome him; and he only took my
hand, and bowing in &longs;ilence, departed.

The want of re&longs;t for two long nights together,
the exerci&longs;e of mind, and con&longs;lict of passions,
which now tortured my brea&longs;t, were too
much for me to &longs;upport!

When I &longs;aw that he was gone; that he had
actually for&longs;aken me, I fainted. My mamma,
with the a&longs;&longs;i&longs;tance of the maid, &longs;oon re&longs;tored
me.

When I opened my eyes, and beheld this amiable
and tender parent, watching and attending
me with the mo&longs;t anxious concern; without
one reproachful word, without one accu&longs;ing
look, my reflections upon the part I had acted,
in defeating her benevolent wi&longs;hes, were

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exqui&longs;itely afflictive! But we mutually forbore
to mention the occa&longs;ion of my illne&longs;s; and I
complied with her advice to take &longs;ome refreshment,
and retire to my chamber. I am &longs;o much
fatigued by the exertions of the day, that reft
is ab&longs;olutely nece&longs;&longs;ary; and I lay a&longs;ide my pen
to &longs;eek it.

Friday Morning. When I &longs;hall again receive
the balmy influence of &longs;leep, I know not.
It has ab&longs;olutely for&longs;aken me at prefent. I have
had a mo&longs;t re&longs;tle&longs;s night. Every awakening
idea pre&longs;ented it&longs;elf to my imagination; whether
I had &longs;u&longs;tained a real lo&longs;s in Mr. Boyer's
departure; reflections on my own mi&longs;conduct,
with the cen&longs;ure of my friends, and the ill-natured
remarks of my enemies, excited the mo&longs;t
painful anxiety in my mind!

I am going down, but how &longs;hall I &longs;ee my
mamma? To her will I con&longs;e&longs;s my faults, in
her maternal brea&longs;t repo&longs;e my cares, and by
her friendly advice regulate my conduct. Had
I done this before, I might have e&longs;caped this
trouble, and &longs;aved both her and my&longs;elf many
di&longs;tre&longs;&longs;ing emotions!

Friday Evening. I have had a long conversation
with my mamma, which has greatly relieved
my mind. She has &longs;oothed me with the
mo&longs;t endearing tenderne&longs;s.

Mr. Atkins, with whom Mr. Boyer lodged,
while in town, called here this afternoon. I
did not &longs;ee him, but he told my mamma that
Mr. Boyer had returned home, and left a letter

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for me, which he had promi&longs;ed to convey with
his own hand. By this letter I am convinced
that the dye is ab&longs;olutely ca&longs;t, with re&longs;pect to
him, and that no attempts on my part to
bring about a reconciliation would be either
prudent or &longs;ucce&longs;sful. He has penetrated the
cau&longs;e of my proceedings; and &longs;uch is his resentment,
that I am inclined not much to regret
his avoiding another interview.

My excu&longs;es would be deemed utterly insufficient,
and truth would not befriend and ju&longs;tify
me.

As I know you are impatient to hear from
me, I will now di&longs;patch this long letter without
any other addition, than that I am your
&longs;incere friend,

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