DRAMATIS PERSONÆ Rumour, the Presenter. King Henry the Fourth. Henry, Prince of Wales, afterwards Henry V, son of Henry IV. Prince Humphrey of Gloucester, son of Henry IV. Thomas, Duke of Clarence, son of Henry IV. Earl of Northumberland, opposite against King Henry IV. Scroop, Archbishop of York, opposite against King Henry IV. Lord Mowbray, opposite against King Henry IV. Lord Hastings, opposite against King Henry IV. Lord Bardolph, opposite against King Henry IV. Sir John Colville, opposite against King Henry IV. Travers, retainer of Northumberland, opposite against King Henry IV. Morton, retainer of Northumberland, opposite against King Henry IV. Earl of Warwick, of the King's party. Earl of Westmoreland, of the King's party. Gower, of the King's party. Harcourt, of the King's party. Lord Chief Justice. of the King's party. Sir John Falstaff, irregular Humourist. Edward Poins, irregular Humourist. Bardolph, irregular Humourist. Pistol, irregular Humourist. Peto, irregular Humourist. Page, to Falstaff. Robert Shallow, country Justice. Silence, country Justice. Davy, servant to Shallow. Fang, Sheriff's officer. Snare, Sheriff's officer. Ralph Mouldy, country soldier. Simon Shadow, country soldier. Thomas Wart, country soldier. Francis Feeble, country soldier. Peter Bullcalf, country soldier. Francis, a drawer. Lady Northumberland. Lady Percy, Percy's widow. Mrs. Quickly, of the Boar's Head, Eastcheap. Doll Tearsheet. Lords, Attendants, Porter, Drawers, Beadles, Grooms, Servants. Servant, Officer, Drawer, Beadle 1, Groom 1, Groom 2, Groom 3

The second part of Henry the fourth, continuing to his death, and coronation of Henry the fift.

[First section]

Enter Rumour painted full of Tongues.
Open your eares; for which of you will stop
The vent of hearing, when lowd Rumor speaks?
I from the Orient to the drooping West,
(Making the wind my poste-horse) still vnfold
The acts commenced on this ball of earth,
Vpon my tongues continuall slanders ride,
The which in euery language I pronounce,
Stuffing the eares of men with false reports,
I speake of peace while couert enmity,
Vnder the smile of safety, woundes the world:
And who but Rumor, who but onely I,
Make fearefull musters, and prepar'd defence,
Whiles the bigge yeare, swolne with some other griefe,
Is thought with child by the sterne tyrant Warre?
And no such matter. Rumour is a pipe,
Blowne by surmizes, Iealousies coniectures,
And of so easie, and so plaine a stop,
That the blunt monster, with vncounted heads,
The still discordant wau'ring multitude,
Can play vpon it. But what need I thus
(My wel knowne body) to anothomize
Among my houshold? why is Rumor here?

I runne before King Harries victorie,
Who in a bloudy field by Shrewsbury,
Hath beaten downe yong Hot-spurre and his troopes,
Quenching the flame of bold rebellion,
Euen with the rebels bloud. But what meane I
To speake so true at first my office is
To noyse abroad, that Harry Monmouth fell
Vnder the wrath of noble Hot-spurs sword,
And that the King before the Douglas rage,
Stoopt his annointed head as low as death.
This haue! rumour'd through the peasant townes,
Betweene that royall field of Shrewsbury,
And this worme-eaten hole of ragged stone,
When Hot-spurs father old Northumberland
Lies crafty sicke, the postes come tyring on,
And not a man of them brings other newes,
Than they haue learnt of me, from Rumors tongues,
They bring smooth comforts false, worse then true wrongs. exit Rumours. Enter the Lord Bardolfe at one doore.

Bard.
Who keepes the gate here ho? where is the Earle?

Porter.
What shall I say you are?

Bard.
Tell thou the Earle,
That the Lord Bardolfe doth attend him heere.

Porter.
His Lordship is walkt forth into the orchard,
Please it your honor knocke but at the gate,
And he himselfe will answer. Enter the Earle Northumberland.

Bard.
Here comes the Earle.

Earle.
What newes Lord Bardolfe? euery minute now
Should be the father of some Stratagem,
The times are wild, contention like a horse,
Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose,
And beares downe all before him.

Bard.
Noble Earle,
I bring you certaine newes from Shrewsbury.

Earle.
Good, and God will.

Bard.
As good as heart can wish:
The King is almost wounded to the death,
And in the fortune of my Lord your sonne,
Prince Harry slaine outright, and both the Blunts
Kild by the hand of Dowglas, yong prince Iohn,
And Westmerland and Stafford fled the field,
And Harry Monmouthes brawne the hulke sir Iohn,
Is prisoner to your sonne: O such a day!
So fought, so followed, and so fairely wonne,
Came not till now to dignifie the times
Since Cæsars fortunes.

Earle
How is this deriu'd?
Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury?

Bar.
I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence, enter Trauers.
A gentleman well bred, and of good name,
That freely rendred me these newes for true.

Earle
Here comes my seruant Trauers who I sent
On tuesday last to listen after newes.

Bar.
My lord, I ouer-rode him on the way,
And he is furnisht with no certainties,
More then he haply may retale from me.

Earle.
Now Trauers, what good tidings comes with you?

Trauers.
My lord, sir Iohn Vmfreuile turnd me backe
With ioyfull tidings, and being better horst,
Out rode me, after him came spurring hard,
A gentleman almost forespent with speede,
That stopt by me to breathe his bloudied horse,
He askt the way to Chester, and of him
I did demand what newes from Shrewsbury,
He told me that rebellion had bad lucke,
And that yong Harrie Percies spur was cold:
With that he gaue his able horse the head,
And bending forward, strooke his armed heeles,
Against the panting sides of his poore iade,
Vp to the rowell head, and starting so,
He seem'd in running to deuoure the way,

Staying no longer question.

Earle
Ha? againe,
Said he, yong Harry Percies spur was cold,
Of Hot-spurre, Cold-spurre, that rebellion
Had met ill lucke?

Bard.
My lord, Ile tell you what,
If my yong Lord your sonne, haue not the day,
Vpon mine honor for a silken point,
Ile giue my Barony, neuer talke of it.

Earle
Why should that gentleman that rode by Trauers,
Giue then such instances of losse?

Bard.
Who he?
He was some hilding fellow that had stolne
The horse he rode on, and vpon my life
Spoke at a venter. Looke, here comes more news. enter Morton.

Earle
Yea this mans brow, like to a title leafe,
Foretells the nature of a tragicke volume,
So lookes the strond whereon the imperious floud,
Hath left a witnest vsurpation.
Say Mourton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?

Mour.
I ranne from Shrewsbury my noble lord,
Where hatefull death put on his vgliest maske,
To fright our partie.

Earle
How doth my sonne and brother?
Thou tremblest, and the whitenes in thy cheeke,
Is apter then thy tongue to tell thy arrand,
Euen such a man, so faint, so spirritlesse,
So dull, so dead in looke, so woe begon,
Drew Priams curtaine in the dead of night,
And would haue told him, halfe his Troy was burnt:
But Priam found the fier, ere he, his tongue,
And I, my Percies death, ere thou reportst it.
This thou wouldst say, Your son did thus and thus,
Your brother thus: so fought the noble Dowglas,
Stopping my greedy eare with their bold deedes,
But in the end, to stop my eare indeed,
Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
Ending with brother, sonne, and all are dead.

Mour.
Douglas is liuing, and your brother yet,
But for my Lord your sonne:

Earle
Why he is dead?
See what a ready tongue Suspition hath!
He that but feares the thing hee would not know,
Hath by instinct, knowledge from others eies,
That what he feard is chanced: yet speake Mourton,
Tell thou an Earle, his diuination lies,
And I will take it as a sweete disgrace,
And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.

Mour.
You are too great to be by me gainsaid,
Your spirite is too true, your feares too certaine.

Earle
Yet for all this, say not that Percie's dead,
I see a strange confession in thine eie,
Thou shakst thy head, and holdst it feare or sinne,
To speake a truth: if he be slaine,
The tongue offends not that reports his death,
And he doth sinne that doth belie the dead,
Not he which saies the dead is not aliue,
Yet the first bringer of vnwelcome newes
Hath but a loosing office, and his tongue
Sounds euer after as a sullen bell,
Remembred tolling a departing friend.

Bard.
I cannot thinke, my Lord, your sonne is dead.

Mour.
I am sory I should force you to beleeue,
That which I would to God I had not seene,
But these mine eies saw him in bloudy state,
Rendring faint quittance, wearied, and out-breathd,
To Harry Monmouth, whose swift wrath beat downe
The neuer daunted Percy to the earth,
From whence with life he neuer more sprung vp.
In few his death, whose spirite lent a fire,
Euen to the dullest peasant in his campe,
Being bruted once, tooke fire and heate away,
From the best temperd courage in his troopes,
For from his mettal was his party steeled,

Which once in him abated, al the rest
Turnd on themselues, like dull and heauy lead.
And as the thing thats heauy in it selfe,
Vpon enforcement flies with greatest speed:
So did our men, heauy in Hot-spurs losse,
Lend to this weight such lightnesse with their feare,
That arrowes fled not swifter toward their ayme,
Than did our souldiers aiming at their safetie,
Fly from the field: then was that noble Worcester,
So soone tane prisoner, and that furious Scot,
The bloudy Douglas whose well labouring sword,
Had three times slaine th'appearance of the King,
Gan vaile his stomacke, and did grace the shame
Of those that turnd their backes, and in his flight,
Stumbling in feare, was tooke: the summe of all
Is, that the King hath wonne, and hath sent out,
A speedy power to incounter you my lord,
Vnder the conduct of yong Lancaster,
And Westmerland: this is the news at ful.

Earle
For this I shal haue time enough to mourne,
In poison there is phisicke and these newes,
Hauing beene wel, that would haue made me sicke:
Being sicke, haue (in some measure) made me wel:
And as the wretch whose feuer-weakned ioynts,
Like strengthlesse hinges buckle vnder life,
Impacient of his fit, breakes like a fire
Out of his keepers armes; euen so my limbes,
Weakened with griefe being now enragde with griefe,
Are thrice themselues: hence therfore thou nice crutch,
A scaly gauntlet now with ioynts of steele
Must gloue this hand, and hence thou sickly coife,
Thou art a guard too wanton for the head,
Which princes, flesht with conquest, ayme to hit:
Now bind my browes with yron, and approach
The raggedst houre that Time and Spight dare bring,
To frowne vpon th'inragde Northumberland,

Let heauen kisse earth, now let not Natures hand
Keepe the wild floud confind, let Order die,
And let this world no longer be a stage,
To feed contention in a lingring act:
But let one spirite of the first borne Cain
Raigne in all bosomes, that ech heart being set
On bloudy courses, the rude sceane may end,
And darknesse be the burier of the dead.

Vmfr.
This strained passion doth you wrong my lord.

Bard.
Sweet earle, diuorce not wisedom from your honor,

Mour.
The liues of all your louing complices,
Leaue on you health the which if you giue ore,
To stormy passion must perforce decay.

Bard.
We all that are ingaged to this losse,
Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas,
That if we wrought out life, twas ten to one,
And yet we venturd for the gaine proposde,
Choakt the respect of likely perill fear'd,
And since we are oreset, venture againe:
Come, we will al put forth body and goods.

Mour.
Tis more then time, and my most noble lord,
I heare for certaine, and dare speake the truth.

North.
I knew of this before, but to speake truth,
This present griefe had wipte it from my mind,
Go in with me and counsell euery man,
The aptest way for safety and reuenge,
Get postes and letters, and make friends with speed,
Neuer so few, and neuer yet more need. exeunt. Enter sir Iohn alone, with his page bearing his sword and buckler.

Iohn.

Sirra, you giant, what saies the doctor to my water?

Page.

He said sir, the water it self was a good healthy water, but for the party that owed it, he might haue moe diseases then he knew for.

Iohn.

Men of al sorts take a pride to gird at me: the braine of this foolish compo&ubar;ded clay-man is not able to inuent any thing that intends to laughter, more then I inuent, or is inu&ebar;ted on me, I am not only witty in my selfe, but the cause that wit is in other men. I do here walk before thee, like a sow that hath ouerwhelmd al her litter but one, if the prince put thee into my seruice for any other reason then to sett me off, why then I haue no iudgement thou horeson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worne in my cap, then to wait at my heels I was neuer manned with an agot till now, but I wil in-set you, neither in golde nor siluer, but in vile apparell, and send you backe againe to your master for a iewell, the iuuenall the prince your master, whose chin is not yet fledge, I will sooner haue a beard grow in the palme of my hand, then he shal get one off his cheek, & yet he will not sticke to say his face is a face royal, God may finish it when he will, tis not a haire amisse yet, he may keepe it still at a face royall, for a barber shall neuer earne sixpence out of it, and yet heele be crowing as if he had writte man euer since his father was a batcheler, he may keepe his owne grace, but hees almost out of mine I can assure him: what said master Dommelton about the sattin for my short cloake and my sloppes?

Boy

He saide sir, you should procure him better assurance then Bardolfe, he would not take his band and yours, he liked not the securitie.

sir Iohn

Let him be damn'd like the glutton, pray God his tongue be hotter, a horeson Achitophella rascall: yea forsooth knaue, to beare a gentle man in hand, and then stand vpon security, the horson smoothy-pates doe now weare nothing but hie shooes and bunches of keyes at their girdles, and if a man is through with them in honest taking vp, then they must stand vppon security, I had as liue they would put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with security, I lookt a should haue sent me two and twenty yards of sattin, (as I am a true knight,) and he sends me security: well he may sleepe in security, for he hath the horne of aboundance, and the lightnesse of his wife

shines through it: wheres Bardolf, & yet can not he see though he haue his owne lanthorne to light him.

Boy

Hees gone in Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.

sir Iohn

I bought him in Paules, and heele buy me a horse in Smithfield, and I could get me but a wife in the stewes, I were man'd, horsde, and wiu'd.

Boy

Sir, here comes the noble man that committed the prince for striking him about Bardolfe.

sir Iohn

Wait close, I will not see him.

Iustice

Whats hee that goes there?

seru.

Falstaffe, and't please your lordship.

Iust.

He that was in question for the rob'ry!

seru.

He my Lord, but he hath since done good seruice at Shrewsbury, & (as I heare,) is now going with some charge to the lord Iohn of Lancaster.

Iust.

What to Yorke? call him backe againe.

seru.

Sir Iohn Falstaffe.

Iohn

Boy, tell him I am deafe.

Boy

You must speake lowder, my master is deafe.

Iust.

I am sure he is to the hearing of any thing good, goe plucke him by the elbow, I must speake with him.

seru.

Sir Iohn?

Falst.

What? a yong knaue and begging? is there not wars? is there not employment? doth not the King lacke subiects? do not the rebels need souldiers, though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it is worse shame to beg then to be on the worst side, were it worse then the name of Rebellion can tell how to make it.

seru.

You mistake me sir.

Iohn

Why sir, did I say you were an honest man, setting my knighthood and my souldiership aside, I had lied in my throat if I had said so.

seru.

I pray you sir then set your knighthood, and your soldiership aside, and giue me leaue to tell you, you lie in your throate, if you say I am any other then an honest man.

Iohn.

I giue thee leaue to tell me, so I lay aside that which growes to me, if thou getst any leaue of me, hang me, if thou takst leaue, thou wert better be hangd, you hunt co&ubar;ter, hence, auaunt.

seru.

Sir, my Lord would speake with you.

Iust.

Sir Iohn Falstaffe, a word with you.

Falst.

My good Lord, God giue your lordship good time of day, I am glad to see your lordship abroade, I heard say your lordship was sicke, I hope your lordship goes abroade by aduise, your lordship, though not clean past your youth, haue yet some smack of an aguein you, some relish of the saltnes of time in you, and I most humbly beseech your lordship to haue a reuerend care of your health.

Iustice

Sir Iohn, I sent for you before your expedition to Shrewsbury.

sir Iohn

Andt please your lorship, I heare his maiesty is returnd with some discomfort from Wales.

Iust.

I talke not of his maiesty, you would not come when I sent for you.

Falst.

And I heare moreouer, his highnes is falne into this same horson apoplexi.

Iust.

Well, God mend him, I pray you let me speake with you.

Falst.

This appoplexi as I take it? is a kind of lethergie, and't please your lordship, a kind of sleeping in the bloud, a horson tingling.

Iust.

What tell you me of it, be it as it is.

Falst.

It hath it originall from much griefe, from study, and perturbation of the braine, I haue read the cause of his effects in Galen, it is a kind of deafenes.

Iust.

I think you are falne into the disease, for you heare not what I say to you.

Old.

Very wel my lord, very wel, rather and't please you it is the disease of not listning the maladie of not marking that I am troubled withall.

Iust.

To punish you by the heeles, would amend the attention

of your eares, and I care not if I doe become your phisitian.

Falst.

I am as poore as Iob my lord, but not so pacient, your Lordship may minister the potion of imprisonment to me, in respect of pouerty, but how I should be your pacient to follow your prescriptions, the wise may make som dramme of a scruple, or indeede a scruple it selfe.

Iust.

I sent for you when there were matters against you for your life to come speake with me.

Falst.

As I was then aduisde by my learned counsail in the lawes of this land seruice, I did not come.

Iust.

Wel, the truth is sir Iohn, you liue in great infamy.

Falst.

He that buckles himselfe in my belt cannot liue in lesse.

Iust.

Your meanes are very slender, and your waste is great.

Falst.

I would it were otherwise, I would my meanes were greater and my waste slender.

Iust.

You haue misled the youthfull prince.

Falst.

The yong prince hath misled me, I am the felow with the great belly and he my dogge.

Iust.

Wel, I am loth to gall a new heald wound, your daies seruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little guilded ouer your nights exploit on Gadshill, you may thanke th'vnquiet time, for your quiet oreposting that action.

Falst.

My lord.

Iust.

But since all is well, keepe it so, wake not a sleeping wolfe.

Falst.

To wake a wolfe, is as bad as smell a fox.

Iust.

VVhat you are as a candle, the better part, burnt out.

Falst.

A wassel candle my lord, al tallow, if I did say of wax, my growth would approue the truth.

Iust.

There is not a white haire in your face, but should haue his effect of grauity.

Falst.

His effect of grauy, grauie, grauie.

Iust.

You follow the yong prince vp and downe, like his ill angell.

Falst.

Not so my lord, your ill angell is light, but I hope he that lookes vpon me will take me without weighing, and yet in some respects I grant I cannot go. I cannot tell, vertue is of so little regard in these costar-mongers times, that true valour is turnd Berod, Pregnancie is made a Tapster, & his quick wit wasted in giuing reckonings, all the other giftes appertinent to man, as the malice of his age shapes the one not worth a goosbery, you that are old consider not the capacities of vs that are yong, you doe measure the heate of our liuers with the bitternesse of your galles, and we that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confesse are wagges too.

Lo.

Do you set downe your name in the scroule of youth, that are written downe, old with all the characters of age? haue you not a moist eie, a dry hand, a yelow cheeke, a white beard, a decreasing leg, an increasing belly? is not your voice broken, your winde short, your chinne double, your wit single, and euery part about you blasted with antiquitie, and will you yet call your selfe yong? fie, fie, fie, sir Iohn.

Iohn

My Lorde, I was borne about three of the clocke in the afternoone, with a white head, and something a round bellie, for my voyce, I haue lost it with hallowing, and singing of Anthems: to approoue my youth further, I will not: the truth is, I am onely olde in iudgement and vnderstanding: and hee that wil caper with me for a thousand markes, let him lend me the money, and haue at him for the boxe of the yeere that the Prince gaue you, he gaue it like a rude Prince, and you tooke it like a sensible Lord: I haue checkt him for it, and the yong lion repents, mary not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silke, and olde sacke.

Lord

Well, God send the prince a better companion.

Iohn

God send the companion a better prince, I cannot ridde my hands of him.

Lord

Well, the King hath seuerd you: I heare you are going with lord Iohn of Lancaster against the Archbishop and the Earle of Northumberland.

Iohn

Yea, I thanke your prety sweet witte for it: but looke

you pray, all you that kisse my lady Peace at home, that our armies ioyne not in a hote day, for, by the Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I meane not to sweate extraordinarily: if it be a hot day, & I brandish any thing but a bottle. I would I might neuer spit white again: there is not a dangerous action can peepe out his head, but I am thrust vpon it. Wel, I cannot last euer, but it was alway yet the tricke of our English nation, if they haue a good thing, to make it too common. If yee will needs say I am an olde man, you should giue me rest: I would to God my name were not so terrible to the enemy as it is, I were better to be eaten to death with a rust, than to be scoured so nothing with perpetuall motion.

Lord

Well, be honest, be honest, and God blesse your expedition.

Iohn

Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to furnish me forth?

Lord

Not a penny, not a penny, you are too impatient to beare crosses: fare you well: commend mee to my coosine Westmerland.

Iohn

If I do, fillip me with a three man beetle: A man can no more separate age and couetousnesse, than a can part yong limbs and lechery, but the gowt galles the one, and the pox pinches the other, and so both the degrees preuent my curses, boy.

Boy

Sir.

Iohn

What money is in my purse?

Boy

Seuen groates and two pence.

Iohn

I can get no remedy against this consumption of the purse, borrowing onely lingers and lingers it out, but the disease is incurable: Go beare this letter to my lord of Lancaster, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of Westmerland, and this to olde mistris Vrsula, whome I haue weekely sworne to marry since I perceiud the first white haire of my chin: about it, you know where to finde me: a pox of this gowt, or a gowt of this pox, for the one or the other playes the rogue with my great toe. Tis no matter if I doe hault, I haue the warres for my color, and my pension shal seeme the more reasonable: a good

wit will make vse of any thing; I will turne diseases to commoditie.

Bishop.
Thus haue you heard our cause, and knowne our meanes,
And my most noble friends, I pray you al
Speake plainely your opinions of our hopes,
And first Lord Marshall, what say you to it?

Marsh.
I well allow the occasion of our armes,
But gladly would be better satisfied,
How in our meanes we should aduance ourselues,
To looke with forehead, bold, and big enough,
Vpon the power and puissance of the King.

Hast.
Our present musters grow vpon the file,
To fiue and twenty thousand men of choise,
And our supplies liue largely in the hope
Of great Northumberland, whose bosome burnes
With an incensed fire of iniuries.

Bard.
The question then Lord Hastings standeth thus,
Whether our present fiue and twentie thousand,
May hold vp head without Northumberland.

Hast.
With him we may.

Bard.
Yea mary, theres the point,
But if without him we be thought too feeble,
My iudgement is we should not step too far.

Bish.
Tis very true lord Bardolfe for indeede
It was yong Hot-spurs cause at Shrewsbury.

Bard.
It was my Lord, who lined himselfe with hope,
Eating the ayre, and promise of supplie,
Flattring himselfe in proiect of a power,
Much smaller then the smallest of his thoughts,
And so with great imagination,
Proper to mad-men led his powers to death,
And winking, leapt into destruction.

Hast.
But by your leaue it neuer yet did hurt,

To lay downe likelihoods and formes of hope.

Bard.
We fortifie in paper, and in figures,
Vsing the names of men in steed of men,
Like on that drawes the model of an house,
Beyond his power to build it, who (halfe thorough)
Giues o re, and leaues his part-created cost,
A naked subiect to the weeping clowdes,
And waste for churlish winters tyrannie.

Hast.
Grant that our hopes (yet likely of faire birth)
Should be stil borne, and that we now possest.
The vtmost man of expectation,
I thinke we are so, body strong enough,
Euen as we are to equal with the King.

Bard.
What, is the King but siue and twenty thousand.

Hast.
To vs no more, nay not so much, Lord Bardolfe,
For his diuisions, as the times do brawle,
And in three heads, one power against the French,
And one against Glendower perforce a third
Must take vp vs, so is the vnfirme King
In three diuided, and his coffers sound
With hollow pouertie and emptinesse.

Bish.
That he should draw his seuerall strengths togither,
And come against vs in full puissance,
Need not to be dreaded.

Hast.

If he should do so, French and Welch he leaues his back vnarmde, they baying him at the heeles, neuer feare that.

Bar.
Who is it like should leade his forces hither?

Hast.
The Duke of Lancaster and Westmerland:
Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Momnouth:
But who is substituted against the French
I haue no certaine notice.

Bish.
Shall we go draw our numbers, and set on?

Hast.
We are Times subiects, and Time bids be gone. ex. Enter Hostesse of the Tauerne, and an Officer or two.

Hostesse

Master Phang, haue you entred the action?

Phang

It is entred.

Host.

Wheres your yeoman? ist a lusty yeoman? wil a stand too't?

Phang

Sirra, wheres Snare?

Host.

O Lord I, good master Snare.

Snare

Here, here.

Phang

Snare, we must arest sir Iohn Falstaffe.

Host.

Yea good master Snare, I haue entred him and all.

Snare

It may chaunce cost some of vs our liues, for he will stabbe.

Host.

Alas the day, take heed of him, he stabd me in mine owne house, most beastly in good faith, a cares not what mischiefe he does, if his weapon be out, he will soyne like any diuell, he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.

Phang

If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

Host.

No nor I neither, Ile be at your elbow.

Phang

And I but fist him once, and a come but within my view.

Host.

I am vndone by his going, I warrant you, hees an infinitiue thing vppon my score, good maister Phang holde him sure, good master Snare let him not scape, a comes continually to Pie corner (sauing your manhoods) to buy a saddle, and he is indited to dinner to the Lubbers head in Lumbert streete to master Smooths the silk man, I pray you since my exion is entred, and my case so openly knowne to the worlde, let him be brought in to his answer, a hundred marke is a long one, for a poore lone woman to beare, and I haue borne, and borne, and borne, and haue bin fubd off, and fubd off, and fubd off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on, there is no honesty in such dealing, vnlesse a woman should be made an asse, and a beast, to beare euery knaues wrong: yonder he comes, and that arrant malmsie-nose knaue Bardolfe with him, do your offices do your offices master Ph&abar;g, & master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.

Falst.

How now, whose mare's dead? whats the matter?

Phang

I arrest you at the sute of mistris Quickly.

Falst.

Away varlets, draw Bardolfe, cut me off the villaines head, throw the queane in the channell.

Host.

Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee in the channel, wilt thou, wilt thou, thou bastardly rogue, murder murder, a thou honisuckle villaine, wilt thou kill Gods officers and the Kings? a thou honiseed rogue, thou art a honiseed, a man queller, and a woman queller.

Falst.

Keepe them off Bardolfe.

Offic.

A reskew, a reskew.

Host.

Good people bring a reskew or two, thou wot, wot thou, thou wot, wot ta, do do thou rogue, do thou hempseed.

Boy

Away you scullian, you rampallian, you fustilarian, ile tickle your catastrophe.

Lord

What is the matter? keepe the peace here, ho.

Hostesse

Good my lord be good to me, I beseech you stand to me.

Lord
How now sir Iohn, what are you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time, and businesse?
You should haue bin well on your way to Yorke:
Stand from him fellow, wherefore hang'st thou vpon him.

Host.

O my most worshipful Lord, and't please your grace I am a poore widdow of Eastcheape, and he is arrested at my sute.

Lord

For what summe?

Host.

It is more then for some my Lord, it is for al I haue, he hath eaten me out of house and home, he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his, but I wil haue some of it out againe, or I wil ride thee a nights like the mare.

Falst.

I think I am as like to ride the mare if I haue any vantage of ground to get vp.

Lord

How comes this sir Iohn? what man of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation, are you not ashamed to inforce a poore widdow, to so rough a course to come

by her owne.

Falst.

What is the grosse summe that I owe thee?

Host.

Mary if thou wert an honest man, thy selfe and the mony too: thou didst sweare to me vpon a parcell guilt goblet, sitting in my dolphin chamber, at the round table by a sea cole fire, vpon wednesday in Wheeson weeke, when the prince broke thy head, for liking his father to a singing man of Winsor, thou didst sweare to me th&ebar;, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me, and make me my lady thy wife, canst thou deny it, did not goodwife Keech the butchers wife come in then and cal me gossip Quickly, comming in to borow a mefle of vinegar, telling vs she had a good dish of prawnes, whereby thou didst desire to eate some, whereby I told thee they were ill for a greene wound, and didst thou not, when she was gone down stayers, desire me, to be no more so familiarity, with such poore people, saying that ere long they should calme madam, and didst thou not kisse me, and bid me fetch thee thirtie shillings, I put thee now to thy booke oath, denie it if thon canst.

Falst

My lord this is a poore made soule, and she saies vp and downe the towne, that her eldest sonne is like you, she hath bin in good case, and the trueth is pouerty hath distracted her, but for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may haue redresse against them.

Lo.

Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, I am wel acquainted with your maner of wrenching the true cause, the false way: it is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more then impudent sawcines from you can thrust me from a leuel consideration: you haue as it appeares to me practisde vpon the easie yeelding spirite of this woman, and made her serue your vses both in purse and in person.

Host.

Yea in truth my Lord.

Lo.

Pray thee peace, pay her the debt you owe her, and vnpay the villany you haue done with her, the one you may doe with sterling mony, and the other with currant repentance.

Falst.

My Lord I will not vndergoe this snepe without reply, you cal honorable boldnes impudent sawcinesse, if a man

wil make curtsie and say nothing, he is vertuous, no my Lord my humble duty remembred, I will not bee your suter, I say to you I do desire deliuerance from these officers, being vpon hasty imployment in the Kings affayres.

Lord

You speake as hauing power to do wrong, but answer in th'effect of your reputation, and satisfie the poore woman.

Falst.

Come hither hostesse.

Lord

Now master Gower, what newes.

Gower
The King my Lord, and Harry prince of Wales,
Are neare at hand, the rest the paper tells.

Falst.

As I am a gentleman!

Host.

Faith you said so before.

Falst.

As I am a gentleman, come, no more words of it.

Host.

By this heaunly ground I tread on, I must be faine to pawne both my plate, & the tapestry of my dining chambers.

Falst.

Glasses glasses is the onely drinking, and for thy wals a pretty sleight drollery, or the storie of the prodigal, or the Iarman hunting in waterworke, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangers, and these flie bitten tapestrie, let it be x. £ if thou canst: come, and twere not for thy humors, theres not a better wench in England, goe wash thy face and draw the action, come thou must not be in this humor with me, dost not know me, come, come, I know thou wast set on to this.

Host.

Pray thee sir Iohn let it be but twentie nobles, ifaith I am loath to pawne my plate so God saue me law.

Falst.

Let it alone, ile make other shift, youle be a foole stil.

Host.

Well, you shall haue it, though I pawne my gowne, I hope youle come to supper, youle pay me altogether.

Falst.

Wil I liue? goe with her, with her, hooke on, hooke on.

Host.

Will you haue Doll Tere-sheet meete you at supper.

Falst.

No more words, lets haue her.

Lord

I haue heard better newes.

Falst

Whats the newes my lord?

Lord

Where lay the King to night?

Mess.

At Billingsgate my Lord.

Falst.

I hope my Lord al's wel, what is the newes my lord?

Lord

Come all his forces backe?

Mess.
No, fifteen hundred foot, fiue hundred horse
Are marcht vp to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland, and the Archbishop.

Falst.
Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?

Lord
You shall haue letters of me presently,
Come, go along with me, good master Gower.

Falst.

My lord.

Lord

Whats the matter?

Falstaffe

Maister Gower, shall I intreate you with mee to dinner?

Gower

I must waite vpon my good lord here, I thank you good sir Iohn.

Lord
Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long,
Being you are to take souldiers vp
In Counties as you go.

Falstaffe

Will you suppe with mee maister Gower?

Lord

What foolish maister taught you these manners, sir Iohn?

Falstaffe

Maister Gower, if they become me not, hee was a foole that taught them mee: this is the right fencing grace, my Lord, tap for tap, and so part faire.

Lord

Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great foole.

Prince

Before God, I am exceeding weary.

Poynes

Ist come to that? I had thought wearines durst not haue attacht one of so hie bloud.

Prince

Faith it does me, though it discolors the complexion of my greatnes to acknowledge it: doth it not shew vildly in me, to desire small beere?

Poynes

Why a Prince should not be so loosely studied, as to remember so weake a composition.

Prince

Belike then my appetite was not princely gote, for by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature smal beere.

But indeed these humble considerations make me out of loue with my greatnesse. What a disgrace is it to mee to remember thy name? or to know thy face to morow? or to take note how many paire of silke stockings thou hast with these, and those that were thy peach colourd once, or to beare the inuentorie of thy shirts, as one for superfluitie, and another for vse. But that the Tennis court keeper knows better than I, for it is a low eb of linnen with thee when thou keepest not racket there, as thou hast not done a great while, because the rest of the low Countries haue eate vp thy holland: and God knows whether those that bal out the ruines of thy linnen shal inherite his kingdom: but the Midwiues say, the children are not in the fault wherevpon the world increases, and kinreds are mightily strengthened.

Poynes

How ill it followes, after you haue labored so hard, you should talke so ydlely! tell me how many good yong princes woulde doe so, their fathers being so sicke, as yours at this time is.

Prince

Shall I tel thee one thing Poynes?

Poynes

Yes faith, and let it be an excellent good thing.

Prince.

It shall serue among wittes of no higher breeding then thine.

Poynes

Go to, I stand the push of your one thing that you will tell.

Prince

Mary I tell thee it is not meete that I should bee sad now my father is sicke, albeit I could tell to thee, as to one it pleases me for fault of a better to call my friend, I could be sad, and sad indeede too.

Poynes

Very hardly, vpon such a subiect.

Prince

By this hand, thou thinkest me as farre in the diuels booke, as thou and Falstaffe, for obduracie and persistancie, let the end trie the man, but I tel thee, my heart bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick, and keeping such vile company as thou arte, hath in reason taken from me all ostentation of sorrowe.

Poynes

The reason.

Prince

What wouldst thou thinke of me if I should weep?

Poynes

I woulde thincke thee a most princely hypocrite.

Prince

It would bee euery mans thought, and thou arte a blessed felow, to thinke as euery man thinkes, neuer a mans thought in the world, keepes the rode way better then thine, euerie man would thinke me an hypocrite indeede, and what accites your most worshipfull thought to thinke so?

Poynes

Why because you haue been so lewd and so much engraffed to Falstaffe.

Prince

And to thee.

Poyne

By this light I am well spoke on, I can heare it with mine owne eares, the worst that they can say of me is that I am a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow of my hands, and those two things I confesse I cannot helpe: by the masse here comes Bardolfe.

Prince

And the boy that I gaue Falstaffe, a had him from me Christian, and looke if the fat villaine haue not transformd him Ape.

Bard.

God saue your grace.

Prince

And yours most noble Bardolfe.

Poynes

Come you vertuous asse, you bashfull foole, must you be blushing, wherefore blush you now? what a maidenly man at armes are you become? ist such a matter to get a pottle-pots maidenhead?

Boy

A calls me enow my Lord through a red lattice, and I could discerne no part of his face from the window, at last I spied his eies, and me thought he had made two holes in the ale wiues peticote and so peept through.

Prince

Has not the boy profited?

Bard.

Away you horson vpright rabble, away.

Boy

Away you rascally Altheas dreame, away.

Prince

Instruct vs boy, what dreame boy?

Boy

Mary my lord, Althear dreampt she was deliuered of a firebrand, and therefore I call him her dreame.

Prince

A crownes worth of good interpretation there tis boy.

Poines

O that this blossome could be kept from cankers! well, there is sixpence to preserue thee.

Bard.

And you do not make him hangd among you, the gallowes shall haue wrong.

Prince

And how doth thy master Bardolfe?

Bard.

Well my Lord, he heard of your graces comming to towne, theres a letter for you.

Poynes

Deliuerd with good respect, and how doth the martlemasse your master?

Bard.

In bodily health sir.

Poynes

Mary the immortall part needes a phisitian, but that moues not him, though that be sicke, it dies not.

Prince

I do allow this Wen to be as familiar with me, as my dogge, and he holds his place, for looke you how he writes.

Poynes

Iohn Falstaffe Knight, euery man must know that as oft as he has occasion to name himselfe: euen like those that are kin to the King for they neuer pricke their finger, but they saye, theres some of the Kings bloud spilt: how comes that (saies he) that takes vppon him not to conceiue the answer is as ready as a borowed cap: I am the Kings poore cosin, sir.

Prince

Nay they will be kin to vs, or they will fetch it from Iaphet, but the letter, Sir Iohn Falstaffe knight, to the sonne of the king, nearest his father, Harry prince of Wales, greeting.

Poynes

Why this is a certificate.

Prince
Peace.
I will imitate the honourable Romanes in breuitie.

Poynes

He sure meanes breuity in breath, short winded, I commend mee to thee, I commend thee, and, I leaue thee, be not too familiar with Poynes, for he misuses thy fauours so much, that he sweares thou art to mary his sister Nel, repent at idle times as thou maist, and so farwel.

Thine by yea, and no, which is as much as to say, as
thou vsest him, Iacke Falstaffe with my family,
Iohn with my brothers and sisters, and sir Iohn
with all Europe.

Poynes

My Lord, Ile steep this letter in sacke and make him

eate it.

Prince

Thats to make him eate twenty of his words, but do you vse me, thus Ned? must I marrie your sister?

Poynes

God send the wench no worse fortune, but I neuer said so.

Prince

Wel, thus we play the fooles with the time, and the spirits of the wise sit in the clowdes and mocke vs, is your master here in London?

Bard.

Yea my Lord.

Prince

Where sups he? doth the old boare feede in the old Franke?

Bard.

At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheape.

Prince

VVhat companie?

Boy

Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.

Prince

Sup any women with him?

Boy

None my lord, but old mistris Quickly, and mistris Dol Tere-sheet.

Prince

VVhat Pagan may that be?

Boy

A proper gentlewoman sir, and a kinswoman of my masters.

Prince

Euen such kinne as the parish Heicfors are to the towne bull, shall we steale vpon them Ned at supper?

Poynes

I am your shadow my Lord, ile follow you.

Prince

Sirra, you boy and Bardolfe, no worde to your master that I am yet come to towne; theres for your silence.

Bar.

I haue no tongue sir.

Boy

And for mine sir, I will gouerne it.

Prince

Fare you well: go, this Doll Tere-sheete should be some rode.

Poyns

I warrant you, as common as the way between S.Albons and London.

Prince

How might we see Falstaffe bestow himself to night in his true colours, and not our selues be seene?

Poynes

Put on two letherne ierkins and aprons, and waite vpon him at his table as drawers.

Prince

From a god to a bul, a heauy descension, it was Ioues

case, from a pince to a prentise, a low transformation, that shal be mine, for in enery thing the purpose must weigh with the folly, follow me Ned.

North.
I pray thee louing wife and gentle daughter,
Giue euen way vnto my rough affaires,
Put not you on the visage of the times,
And be like them to Percy troublesome.

Wife
I haue giuen ouer, I will speake no more,
Do what you wil, your wisedome be your guide.

North.
Alas sweete wife, my honor is at pawne,
And but my going, nothing can redeeme it.

Kate
O yet for Gods sake go not to these wars,
The time was father, that you broke your word,
When you were more endeere to it then now,
When your owne Percie, when my hearts deere Harry,
Threw many a Northward looke, to see his father
Bring vp his powers, but he did long in vaine.
Who then perswaded you to stay at home?
There were two honors lost, yours, and your sonnes,
For yours, the God of heauen brighten it,
For his, it stucke vpon him as the sunne
In the grey vault of heauen, and by his light
Did all the Cheualry of England moue
To do braue acts, he was indeede the glasse
Wherein the noble youth did dresse themselues.

North.
Beshrew your heart,
Faire daughter, you do draw my spirites from me,
With new lamenting ancient ouersights,
But I must go and meete with danger there,
Or it will seeke me in an other place,
And find me worse prouided.

Wife
O flie to Scotland,
Till that the nobles and the armed commons,
Haue of their puissance made a little taste.

Kate
If they get ground and vantage of the King,

Then ioyne you with them like a ribbe of steele,
To make strength stronger: but for al our loues,
First let them trie themselues, so did your sonne,
He was so suffred, so came I a widow,
And neuer shall haue length of life enough,
To raine vpon remembrance with mine eies,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heauen,
For recordation to my noble husband.

North.
Come, come, go in with me, tis with my mind,
As with the tide, sweld vp vnto his height,
That makes a stil stand, running neither way,
Faine would I go to meete the Archbishop,
But many thousand reasons hold me backe,
I will resolue for Scotland, there am I,
Till time and vantage craue my company. exeunt. Enter a Drawer or two.

Francis

What the diuel hast thou brought there apple Iohns? thou knowest sir Iohn cannot indure an apple Iohn.

Draw.

Mas thou saist true, the prince once set a dish of apple Iohns before him, and tolde him there were fiue more sir Iohns, and putting off his hat, said, I will now take my leaue of these six drie, round, old, withered Knights, it angred him to the heart, but he hath forgot that.

Fran.

Why then couer and set them downe, and see if thou canst find out Sneakes Noise, mistris Tere-sheet would faine heare some musique.

Dra.

Dispatch, the roome where they fupt is too hot, theile come in straight.

Francis

Sirra, here wil be the prince and master Poynes anon, and they will put on two of our ierkins and aprons, and sir Iohn must not know of it, Bardolfe hath brought word.

Dra.

By the mas here will be old vtis, it wil be an excellent stratagem.

Francis

Ile see if I can find out Sneake.

Quickly

Yfaith sweet heart, me thinkes now you are in an excellent good temperalitie. Your pulsidge beates as extraordinarily as heart would desire, and your colour I warrant you is as red as any rose, in good truth law: but yfaith you haue drunke too much cannaries, and thats a maruelous searching wine, and it perfumes the bloud ere one can say, whats this, how do you now?

Tere.

Better then I was: hem.

Qui.

Why thats well said, a good heart's worth gold: loe here comes sir Iohn.

sir Iohn

When Arthur first in court, empty the iourdan and was a worthy King: how now mistris Doll?

host.

Sicke of a calme, yea good faith.

Falst.

So is all her sect, and they be once in a calme they are sicke.

Tere.

A pox damne you, you muddie rascall, is that all the comfort you giue me?

Falst.

You make fat rascals mistris Dol.

Tere.

I make them? gluttonie, and diseases make, I make them not.

Falst.

If the cooke help to make the gluttonie, you helpe to make the diseases Doll, we catch of you Doll, we catch of you graunt that my poore vertue, grant that.

Doll

Yea ioy, our chaines and our iewels.

Fa.

Your brooches, pearles, & ouches for to serue brauely, is to come halting off, you know to come off the breach, with his pike bent brauely, and to surgerie brauely, to venture vpon the chargde chambers brauely.

Doll

Hang your selfe, you muddie Cunger, hang your selfe.

host

By my troth this is the old fashion, you two neuer meet but you fall to some discord, you are both ygood truth as rew matique as two dry tosts, you cannot one beare with anothers c&obar;firmities, what the goodyere one must beare, & that must be you, you are the weaker vessell, as they say, the emptier vessel.

Dorothy

Can a weake empty vessell beare such a huge full hogshead? theres a whole march&abar;ts venture of Burdeux stuffe in him, you haue not seene a hulke better stuft in the hold. Come, ile be friends with thee iacke, thou art going to the wars, and whether I shall euer see thee againe or no there is no body cares.

Dra.

Sir, Antient pistol's belowe, and would speake with you.

Dol

Hang him swaggering rascal, let him not come hither it is the foule-mouthd strogue in England.

host.

If he swagger, let him not come here, no by my faith I must liue among my neighbours, Ile no swaggerers, I am in good name, and fame with the very best: shut the doore, there comes no swaggerers here, I haue not liu'd al this while to haue swaggering now, shut the doore I pray you.

Fal.

Dost thou heare hostesse?

Host.

Pray ye pacifie your selfe sir Iohn, there comes no swaggerers here.

Fal.

Dost thou heare? it is mine Ancient.

Ho.

Tilly fally, sir Iohn, nere tel me: & your ancient swaggrer comes not in my doores: I was before maister Tisicke the debuty tother day, & (as he said to me) twas no longer ago than wedsday last, I good faith neighbor Quickely, sayes he, maister Dumbe our minister was by then, neighbor Quickly (saies he) receiue those that are ciuil, for (saide he) you are in an ill name: now a saide so, I can tell whereupon. For (saies he) you are an honest woman, and well thought on, therefore take heede what ghests you receiue, receiue (saies he) no swaggering companions: there comes none here: you would blesse you to heare what he said: no, Ile no swaggrers.

Falst.

Hees no swaggrer hostesse, a tame cheter yfaith, you may stroke him as gently as a puppy grey-hound, heele not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turne backe in any shew of resistance, call him vp Drawer.

Host.

Cheter call you him? I will barre no honest man my

house, nor no cheter, but I do not loue swagering by my troth, I am the worse when one saies swagger: feele maisters, how I shake, looke you, I warrant you.

Teresh.

So you do hostesse.

Host.

Doe I? yea in very trueth doe I, and twere an aspen leafe, I cannot abide swaggrers.

Pistol

God saue you sir Iohn.

Fal.

Welcome ancient Pistoll, heere Pistoll, I charge you with a cuppe of sacke, do you discharge vpon mine hostesse.

Pist.

I will discharge vpon her sir Iohn, with two bullets.

Fal.

she is pistoll proofe: sir, you shall not hardely offend her.

Host.

Come, Ile drink no proofes, nor no bullets, Ile drink no more than will do me good, for no mans pleasure, I.

Pist.

Then, to you mistris Dorothy, I will charge you.

Doro.

Charge me? I scorne you, scuruy companion: what you poore base rascally cheting lacke-linnen mate? away you mouldie rogue, away, I am meate for your maister.

Pist.

I know you mistris Dorothy.

Doro.

Away you cutpurse rascall, you filthy boung, away, by this wine Ile thrust my knife in your mouldie chappes, and you play the sawcie cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale rascall, you basket hilt stale iuggler, you. Since when, I pray you sir: Gods light, with two points on your shoulder? much.

Pist.

God let me not liue, but I will murther your ruffe for this.

sir Iohn.

No more Pistol, I would not haue you go off here, discharge your selfe of our company, Pistoll.

Host.

No, good captaine Pistoll, not here, sweete captaine.

Doro.

Captain, thou abhominable damnd cheter, art thou not ashamed to be called Captaine? and Captaines were of my mind, they would trunchion you out, for taking their names vpon you, before you haue earnd them: you a captaine? you slaue, for what? for teareing a poore whoores ruffe in a bawdy house: hee a captaine! hang him rogue, he liues vpon mowldy

stewd pruins, and dried cakes: a captaine? Gods light these villaines wil make the word as odious as the word occupy, which was an excellent good worde before it was il sorted, therefore captains had neede look too't.

Bard.

Pray thee go downe good Ancient.

Falst.

Hearke thee hither mistris Dol.

Pist.

Not I, I tell thee what corporall Bardolfe, I could teare her, Ile be reuengde of her.

Boy.

Pray thee go downe.

Pist.

Ile see her damnd first, to Plutoes damnd lake by this h&abar;d to th'infernal deep, with erebus & tortures vile also: holde hooke and line, say I: downe, downe dogges, downe faters haue we not Hiren here?

Host.

Good captaine Peesell be quiet, tis very late yfaith, I beseeke you now aggrauate your choller.

Pist

These be good humors indeede, shal pack-horses, and hollow pamperd iades of Asia which cannot goe but thirtie mile a day, compare with Cæsars and with Canibals, and troiant Greekes? nay rather damne them with King Cerberus, and let the Welkin roare, shall we fall foule for toies?

Host.

By my troth captaine, these are very bitter words.

Bard.

Be gone good Ancient, this will grow to a brawle anon.

Pist.

Men like dogges giue crownes like pins, haue we not Hiren here?

Host.

A my word Captaine, theres none such here, what the goodyeare do you thinke I would denie her? for Gods sake be quiet.

Pist.

Then feed and be fat, my faire Calipolis, come giues some sacke, si fortune me tormente sperato me contento, feare we brode sides? no, let the fiend giue fire, giue me some sacke, and sweethart, lie thou there, come we to ful points here? and are & cæteraes, no things?

Falst.

Pistol, I would be quiet.

Pist.

Sweet Knight, I kisse thy neaffe, what, we haue seene the seuen starres.

Dol.

For Gods sake thrust him down staires, I cannot indure such a fustian rascall.

Pist.

Thrust him downe staires, know we not Galloway nagges?

Falst.

Quaite him downe Bardolfe like a shoue-groat shilling, nay, and a doe nothing but speake nothing, a shall be nothing here.

Bard

Come, get you downe staires.

Pist.

What shall we haue incision? shall we imbrew? then death rocke me a sleepe, abridge my dolefull daies: why then let grieuons gastly gaping wounds vntwinde the sisters three, come Atropose I say.

Host.

Heres goodly stuffe toward.

Falst.

Giue me my rapier, boy.

Dol

I pray thee Iacke, I pray thee do not drawe.

Fal.

Get you downe staires.

Host.

Heres a goodly tumult, ile forsweare keeping house afore ile be in these tirrits and frights, so, murder I warant now, alas, alas, put vp your naked weapons, put vp your naked weapons.

Dol.

I pray thee Iack be quiet, the rascal's gone, ah you horson little vliaunt villaine you.

Host.

Are you not hurte i'th groyne? me thought a made a shrewd thrust at your belly.

Fal.

Haue you turnd him out a doores?

Bar.

Yea sir, the rascal's drunke, you haue hurt him sir i'th shoulder.

Fal.

A rascall to braue me?

Dol

A you sweet little rogue you, alas poore ape how thou sweatst, come let me wipe thy face, come on you horsone chops: a rogue, yfaith I'loue thee, thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, woorth fiue of Agamemnon, & ten times better then the nine Worthies, a villaine!

Fal.

Ah rascally slaue! I will tosse the rogue in a blanket.

Dol

Do and thou darst for thy heart, and thou dost, ile canuas thee betweene a payre of sheetes.

Boy

The musique is come sir.

Fal.

Let them play, play sirs, sit on my knee Doll, a rascall bragging slaue! the rogue fled from me like quicksiluer.

Dol

Yfaith and thou followdst him like a church, thou horson little tydee Bartholemew borepigge, when wilt thou leaue fighting a daies and foyning a nights, and begin to patch vp thine old body for heauen.

Fal

Peace good Doll, do not speake like a deathes head, do not bid me remember mine end.

Dol

Sirra, what humour's the prince of?

Fal.

A good shallow yong fellow, a would haue made a good pantler, a would a chipt bread wel.

Dol

They say Poines has a good wit.

Fal.

He a good wit? hang him baboon, his wit's as thicke as Tewksbury mustard, theres no more conceit in him then is in a mallet.

Dol

Why does the prince loue him so then?

Fal.

Because their legges are both of a bignesse, and a plaies at quoites well, and eates cunger and fennel, and drinkes off candles endes for flappe-dragons, and rides the wilde mare with the boyes, and iumpes vpon ioynd-stooles, and sweares with a good grace, and weares his bootes very smoothe like vnto the signe of the Legge, and breedes no bate with telling of discreet stories, and such other gambole faculties a has that show a weake minde and an able bodie for the which the prince admits him: for the prince himself is such another, the weight of a haire wil turne scales between their haber de poiz.

Prince

Would not this naue of a wheele haue his eares cut off?

Poynes.

Lets beate him before his whore.

Prince

Looke where the witherd elder hath not his poule clawd like a parrot.

Poynes

Is it not strange that desire should so many yeeres out liue performance.

Falst.

Kisse me Doll.

Prince.

Saturne and Venus this yeere in coniunction? what saies th'Almanacke to that?

Poyns

And look whether the fierie Trigon his man be not lisping to his master, old tables, his note booke, his counsel keeper?

Falst.

Thou dost giue me flattering busses.

Dol

By my troth I kisse thee with a most constant heart.

Falst.

I am old, I am old.

Dol.

I loue thee better then I loue, ere a scuruy yong boy of them all.

Fal.

What stuffe wilt haue a kirtle of? I shall receiue mony a thursday, shalt haue a cap to morrow: a merry song, come it growes late, weele to bed, thou't forget me when I am gone.

Dol

By my troth thou't set me a weeping and thou saist so, proue that euer I dresse my selfe handsome til thy returne, wel hearken a'th end.

Fal.

Some sacke Francis.

Prince, Poynes

Anon anon sir.

Falst.

Ha? a bastard sonne of the Kings? and arte not thou Poynes his brother?

Prince

Why thou globe of sinfull continents, what a life dost thou leade?

Falst.

A better then thou, I am a gentleman, thou art a drawer.

Prince

Very true sir, and I come to drawe you out by the eares.

Host.

O the Lord preserue thy grace: by my troth welcom to London, now the Lord blesse that sweete face of thine, O Iesu, are you come from Wales?

Falst.

Thou horson madde compound of maiestie, by this light, flesh, and corrupt bloud, thou art welcome.

Doll

How? you fat foole I scorne you.

Poynes

My lorde, he will driue you out of your reuenge, and turne all to a meriment if you take not the heate.

Prince

You horson candlemine you, how vildly did you speake of me now, before this honest, vertuous, ciuill gentlewoman?

Host.

Gods blessing of your good heart, and so she is by my troth.

Falst.

Didst thou heare me?

Prince

Yea and you knew me as you did, when you ranne away by Gadshil, you knew I was at your backe, and spoke it, on purpose to trie my patience.

Falst.

No, no, no, not so, I did not thinke thou wast within hearing.

Prince

I shall driue you then to confesse the wilfull abuse, and then I know how to handle you.

Falst.

No abuse Hall a mine honour, no abuse.

Prince

Not to dispraise me, and cal me pantler and bread-chipper, and I know not what?

Fal.

No abuse Hall.

Poynes

No abuse?

Falst

No abuse Ned i'th worlde, honest Ned, none, I dispraisde him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in loue with thee: in which doing, I haue done the part of a carefull friend and a true subiect, and thy father is to giue me thankes for it, no abuse Hall, none Ned, none, no faith boyes none.

Prince

See now whether pure feare and intire cowardize, doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with vs: is she of the wicked, is thine hostesse here of the wicked, or is thy boy of the wicked, or honest Bardolfe whose zeal burnes in his nose of the wicked?

Poynes

Answer thou dead elme, answer.

Falst.

The fiend hath prickt down Bardolfe irrecouerable, and his face is Lucifers priuy kitchin, where he doth nothing but rost mault-worms, for the boy there is a good angel about him, but the diuel blinds him too.

Prince

For the weomen.

Falst.

For one of them shees in hell already, and burnes poore soules: for th'other I owe her mony, and whether she be damnd for that I know not.

Host.

No I warrant you.

Falst.

No I thinke thou art not, I thinke thou art quit for that, mary there is another inditement vpon thee for suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law, for the which I thinke thou wilt howle.

Host.

Al vitlars do so, whats a ioynt of mutton or two in a whole Lent?

Prince.

You gentlewoman.

Dol.

What saies your grace?

Fal.

His grace saies that which his flesh rebels against.

Host.

Who knockes so lowd at doore? looke too'th doore there Francis.

Prince

Peyto, how now, what newes?

Peyto
The King your father is at Weminster,
And there are twenty weake and wearied postes,
Come from the North, and as I came along
I met and ouertooke a dozen captaines,
Bareheaded, sweating, knocking at the Tauernes,
And asking euery one for sir Iohn Falstaffe.

Prince
By heauen Poines, I feele me much too blame,
So idely to prophane the precious time,
When tempest of commotion like the south,
Borne with blacke vapour, doth begin to melt,
And drop vpon our bare vnarmed heads,
Giue me my sword and doke: Falstaffe, good night. Exeunt Prince and Poynes.

Fal.

Now comes in the sweetest morsell of the night, & we must hence and leaue it vnpickt: more knocking at the doore? how now, whats the matter?

Bar.
You must away to court sir presently,
A dozen captaines stay at doore for you.

Fal.

Pay the musitians sirra, farewel hostesse, farewel Dol, you see (my good wenches) how men of merit are sought after, the vndeseruer may sleepe, when the man of action is calld on, farewell good wenches, if I bee not sent away poste, I will see you againe ere I goe.

Dol.

I cannot speake: if my heart be not ready to burst: wel sweete Iacke haue a care of thy selfe.

Fal.

Farewell, farewell.

Host.

Well, fare thee well, I haue knowne thee these twenty nine yeares, come pease-cod time, but an honester, and truer hearted man: wel fare thee wel.

Bard.

Mistris Tere-sheete.

Host.

Whats the matter?

Bard.

Bid mistris Tere-sheete come to my master.

Host.

O runne Doll, runne, runne good Doll, come, she comes blubberd, yea! will you come Doll?

King.
Go call the Earles of Surrey and of War.
But ere they come, bid them o're-reade these letters,
And well consider of them, make good speed.
How many thousand of my poorest subiects,
Are at this howre asleepe? ô sleepe! ô gentle sleep!
Natures soft nurse, how haue I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eye-liddes downe,
And steep my sences in forgetfulnesse,
Why rather sleepe liest thou in smoaky cribbes,
Vpon vneasie pallets stretching thee,
And husht with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber,
Then in the perfumde chambers of the great,

Vnder the canopies of costly state,
And lulld with sound of sweetest melody?
O thou dull god, why liste thou with the vile
In lothsome beds, and leauest the kingly couch,
A watch-case, or a common larum bell?
Wilt thou vpon the high and giddy masse,
Seale vp the ship-boies eies, and rocke his braines,
In cradle of the rude imperious surge,
And in the visitation of the winds,
Who take the ruffian pillowes by the top,
Curling their monstrous heads, and hanging them
VVith deaffing clamour in the slippery clouds,
That with the hurly death it selfe awakes?
Canst thou, ô partiall sleepe, giue them repose,
To the wet season in an howre so rude,
And in the calmest, and most stillest night,
VVith al appliances and meanes to boote,
Deny it to a King? then (happy) low lie downe,
Vneasie lies the head that weares a crowne. Enter Warwike Surry, and Sir Iohn Blunt.

War.
Many good morrowes to your maiestie.

King.
Is it good morrow lords?

War.
'Tis one a clocke, and past.

King.
VVhy then good morrow to you all my lords.
Haue you read ore the letter that I sent you?

War.
VVe haue my liege.

King.
Then you perceiue the body of our kingdome,
How foule it is, what rancke diseases grow,
And with what danger neare the heart of it.

War.
It is but as a body yet distempered,
VVhich to his former strength may be restored,
VVith good aduise and little medicine,

My Lord Northumberland wil soone be coold.

King.
O God that one might reade the booke of fate,
And see the reuolution of the times,
Make mountaines leuell, and the continent
Weary of solide firmenesse melt it selfe
Into the sea, and other times to see,
The beachie girdle of the ocean,
Too wide for Neptunes hips, how chances mockes,
And changes fill the cup of alteration,
With diuers liquors! O if this were seene,
The happiest youth viewing his progresse through,
What perills past, what crosses to ensue?
Would shut the booke and sit him downe and die:
Tis not ten yeeres gone,
Since Richard and Northumberland great friends,
Did feast togither and in two yeare after
Were they at warres: it is but eight yeares since,
This Percie was the man neerest my soule,
Who like a brother toyld in my affaires;
And laied his loue and life vnder my foote,
Yea for my sake, euen to the eyes of Richard,
Gaue him defyance: but which of you was by?
You cousen Neuel, (as I may remember)
When Richard with his eye-brimme full of teares,
Then checkt and rated by Northumberland,
Did speake these wordes now proou'd a prophecie:
Northumberland, thou ladder by the which
My cousen Bolingbrooke ascends my throne,
(Though then (God knowes) I had no such intent,
But that necessitie so bowed the state,
That I and greatnesse were compeld to kisse.)
The time shall come, thus did he follow it,
The time wil come, that foule sin gathering head,
Shall breake into corruption: so went on,
Fortelling this same times condition,

And the deuision of our amitie.

War.
There is a historie in all mens liues,
Figuring the natures of the times deceast:
The which obseru'd, a man may prophecie,
With a neere ayme of the maine chance of things,
As yet not come to life, who in their seedes,
And weake beginning lie intreasured:
Such thinges become the hatch and broode of time,
And by the necessary forme of this,
King Richard might create a perfect guesse,
That great Northumberland then false to him,
Would of that feede growe to a greater falsenesse,
Which should not find a ground to roote vpon
Vnlesse on you.

King.
Are these thinges then necessities,
Then let vs meet them like necessities,
And that same word euen now cries out on vs:
They say the Bishop and Northumberland,
Are fiftie thousand strong.

War.
It cannot be my Lord,
Rumour doth double like the voice, and eccho
The numbers of the feared, please it your grace,
To go to bedde: vpon my soule, my Lord,
The Powers that you alreadie haue sent foorth,
Shall bring this prise in very easily:
To comfort you the more, I haue receiued,
A certain instance that Glendour is dead:
Your Maiestie hath beene this fortnight ill,
And these vnseasoned howers perforce must adde
Vnto your sicknesse.

King.
I will take your counsaile,
And were these inward warres once out of hand,
We would (deare Lords) vnto the holy land. exeunt Enter Iustice Shallow, and Iustice Silence.

Shallow

Come on, come on, come on sir, giue me your hand sir, giue me your hand sir, an early stirrer, by the Roode: and how dooth my good cosin Silens?

Silence

Good morrow good cosin Shallow.

Shallow

And how dooth my coosin your bed-fellowe? and your fayrest daughter and mine, my god-daughter Ellen?

Silens

Alas, a blacke woosel, cosin Shallow.

Shallow

By yea, and no sir: I dare saye my coosin William is become a good scholler, he is at Oxford still, is hee not?

Silens

Indeede sir to my cost.

Shallow

A must then to the Innes a court shortly: I was once of Clements Inne, where I thinke they will talke of mad Shallow yet.

Silens

You were cald Lusty Shallow then, cosin.

Shallow

By the masse I was cald any thing, and I would haue done any thing indeed too, and roundly too: there was I, and little Iohn Doyt of Stafford-shire, and Blacke George Barnes, and Francis Picke-bone, and Will Squele a Cotsole man, you had not foure such swinge bucklers in al the Innes a court againe: and I may say to you, we knew where the bona robes were, and had the best of them all at commaundement: then was Iacke Falstaffe (now sir Iohn) a boy, and Page to Thomas Mowbray duke of Norffolke.

Silens

Coosin, this sir Iohn that comes hither anone about souldiers?

Shall.

The same (sir Iohn) the very same, I see him breake Skoggins head at the Court gate, when'a was a Cracke, not thus high: and the very same day did I fight with one Samson Stockefish a Fruiterer behinde Greyes Inne: Iesu, Iesu, the mad dayes that I haue spent! and to see how many of my olde acquaintance are dead.

Silens

We shall all follow, coosin.

Shal.

Certaine tis certaine, very sure, very sure, death (as the

Psalmist saith) is certaine to all, all shall die. How a good yoke of bullockes at Samforth faire?

Silens

By my troth I was not there.

Shal.

Death is certaine: Is olde Dooble of your towne liuing yet?

Silens

Dead sir.

Shal.

Iesu, Iesu, dead! a drew a good bow, and dead? a shot a fine shoote: Iohn a Gaunt loued him well, and betted much money on his head. Dead! a would haue clapt ith clowt at twelue score, and caried you a forehand shaft a foureteene and foureteene and a halfe, that it would haue doone a mans heart good to see. How a score of Ewes now?

Silens

Thereafter as they be, a score of good Ewes may be worth tenne pounds.

Shal.

And is olde Dooble dead?

Silens

Heere come twoo of sir Iohn Falstaffes men, as I thinke.

Good morrow honest gentlemen.

Bard.

I beseech you, which is Iustice Shallow?

Shall.

I am Robert Shallow sir, a poore Esquire of this Countie, and one of the Kings Iustices of the Peace: what is your pleasure with me?

Bard.

My Captaine, sir, commends him to you, my Captaine sir Iohn Falstaffe, a tall gentleman, by heauen, and a most gallant Leader.

Shall.

He greets me wel, sir, I knew him a good backsword man: how doth the good knight? may I aske how my Ladie his wife doth?

[Second section]

Bar.

Sir, pardon, a souldiour is better accommodate than with a wife.

Shallow

It is well sayde in faith sir, and it is well sayde indeede too, better accommodated, it is good, yea in deede is

it, good phrases, are surely, and euer were, very commendable, accommodated: it comes of accommodo, very good, a good phrase.

Bardolfe

Pardon me sir. I haue heard the worde, phrase call you it? by this good day, I knowe not the phrase, but I will mayntayne the worde with my sworde, to bee a souldiour-like word, and a worde of exceeding good command, by heauen: accommodated, that is, when a man is, as they say, accommodated, or when a man is, beeing whereby, a may be thought to be accommodated, which is an excellent thing.

Iust.

It is very iust: looke, here comes good sir Iohn, giue me your good hand, giue mee your worshippes good hand, by my troth you like well, and beare your yeeres very well, welcome good sir Iohn.

Fal.

I am glad to see you well, good maister Robert Shallow, maister Soccard (as I thinke.)

Shal.

No sir Iohn, it is my coosin Silens, in commission with me.

Falst.

Good maister Silens, it well befits you should be of the Peace.

Silens

Your good worship is welcome.

Falst.

Fie, this is hot weather (gentlemen) haue you prouided me heere halfe a dozen sufficient men?

Shal.

Mary haue we sir, will you fit.

Falst.

Let me see them I beseech you.

Shall.

Wheres the rowle? wheres the rowle? wheres the rowle? let me see, let see, so, so, so, so, so, (so, so) yea mary sir, Rafe Mouldy, let them appeere as I call, let them do so, let the do so, let me see, where is Mouldy?

Mouldy.

Here and it please you.

Sha.

What think you sir Iohn, a good limbd fellow, yong,

strong, and of good friends.

Fal.

Is thy name Mouldie?

Mould.

Yea, and't please you.

Fal.

Tis the more time thou wert vsde.

Shal.

Ha, ha, ha, most excellent yfaith, things that are mouldy lacke vse: very singular good, infaith well said sir Iohn, very well said.

Moul.

I was prickt wel enough before, and you could haue let me alone, my old dame will be vndone now for one to doe her husbandrie, and her drudgery, you need not to haue prickt me, there are other men sitter to go out then I.

Fal.

Go to, peace Mouldy, you shall go, Mouldy it is time you were spent.

Moul.

Spent?

Shal.

Peace fellow, peace, stand aside, know you where you are? for th'other sir Iohn: let me see Simon Shadow.

Fal.

Yea mary, let me haue him to fit vnder, hees like to be a cold soldiour.

Shal.

Wheres Shadow?

Shad.

Here sir.

Fal.

Shadow, whose sonne art thou?

Shad.

My mothers sonne sir.

Fal.

Thy mothers sonne! like enough, and thy fathers shadow, so the sonne of the female is the shadow of the male: it is often so indeede, but much of the fathers substance.

Shal.

Do you like him sir Iohn?

Fal.

Shadow wil serue for summer, pricke him, for we haue a number of shadowes fill vp the muster booke.

Shal.

Thomas Wart.

Fal.

Wheres he?

Wart

Here sir.

Fal.

Is thy name Wart?

Wart

Yea sir.

Fal.

Thou art a very ragged wart.

Shal.

Shall I pricke him sir Iohn?

Fal.

It were superfluous, for apparell is built vpon his back,

and the whole frame stands vpon pins, pricke him no more.

Shal.

Ha, ha, ha, you can do it sir, you can do it, I commend you well: Francis Feeble.

Feeble

Here sir.

Shal.

What trade art thou Feeble?

Feeble

A womans tailer sir.

Shal.

Shall I pricke him sir?

Fal.

You may, but if he had bin a mans tailer hee'd a prickt you: wilt thou make as manie holes in an enemies battaile, as thou hast done in a womans peticoate.

Feeble

I will do my good will sir, you can haue no more.

Fal.

Well saide good womans tailer, well saide couragious Feeble, thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathfull doue, or most magnanimous mouse, pricke the womans tailer: wel M. Shallow, deepe M. Shallow.

Feeble

I would Wart might haue gone sir.

Fal.

I would thou wert a mans tailer, that thou mightst mend him and make him fit to goe, I cannot put him to a priuate souldier, that is the leader of so many thousands, let that suffice most forcible Feeble.

Feeble

It shall suffice sir.

Fal.

I am bound to thee reuerend Feeble, who is next?

Shal.

Peter Bul-calfe o'th greene.

Fal.

Yea mary, lets see Bul-calfe.

Bul.

Here sir.

Fal.

Fore God a likely fellow, come pricke Bul-calfe til hee roare againe.

Bul.

O Lord, good my lord captaine.

Falst.

What, dost thou roare before thou art prickt?

Bul.

O Lord sir, I am a diseased man.

Fal.

What disease hast thou?

Bul.

A horson cold sir, a cough sir, which I cought with ringing in the Kings affaires vpon his coronation day sir.

Fal.

Come, thou shalt go to the warres in a gowne, we wil haue away thy cold, and I wil take such order that thy friendes shal ring for thee. Is here all?

Shal.

Here is two more cald then your number, you must

haue but foure here sir, and so I pray you goe in with mee to dinner.

Fa.

Come, I wil go drink with you, but I c&abar;not tary dinner: I am glad to see you, by my troth master Shallow.

Shal.

O sir Iohn, do you remember since we lay all night in the windmil in saint Georges field?

Fal.

No more of that master Shallow.

Shal.

Ha, twas a merry night, and is lane Night-worke aliue?

Falst.

She liues master Shallow.

Shal.

She neuer could away with me.

Fa.

Neuer neuer, she wold alwaies say, she could not abide master Shallow.

Shal.

By the masse I could anger her too'th heart, she was then a bona roba, doth she hold her owne wel?

Fal.

Old old master Shallow.

Shal.

Nay she must be old, she cannot chuse but be old, certain shees old, & had Robin Night-work by old Night-work, before I came to Clements inne.

Scilens

Thats fiftie fiue yeare ago.

Shal.

Ha cousen Scilens that thou hadst seene that that this Knight and I haue seene, ha sir Iohn, said I wel?

Fal.

We haue heard the chimes at midnight M. Shallow.

Sha.

That we haue,that we haue, that we haue, in faith sir Iohn we haue, our watch-worde was Hemboies, come lets to dinner, come lets to dinner, Iesus the daies that wee haue seene, come, come.

Bul.

Good maister corporate Bardolfe, stand my friend, & heres foure Harry ten shillings in french crowns for you, in very truth sir, I had as liue be hangd sir as go, and yet for mine owne part sir I do not care, but rather because I am vnwilling, and for mine owne part haue a desire to stay with my friends, else sir I did not care for mine owne part so much.

Bard.

Go to, stand aside.

Moul.

And good M. corporall captaine, for my old dames sake stand my friend, she has no body to doe any thing about

her when I am gone, and she is old and cannot helpe her selfe, you shall haue forty sir.

Bar.

Go to, stand aside.

Feeble.

By my troth I care not, a man can die but once, we owe God a death, ile nere beare a basemind, and't bee my destny: so, and't be not, so, no man's too good to serue's prince, and let it go which way it will, he that dies this yeere is quit for the next.

Bar

Well said, th'art a good fellow.

Feeble

Faith ile beare no base mind.

Fal.

Come sir, which men shall I haue?

Shal.

Foure of which you please.

Bar

Sir, a word with you, I haue three pound to free Mouldy and Bulcalfe.

Fal.

Go to, well.

Shal.

Come sir Iohn, which foure wil you haue?

Fal.

Do you chuse for me.

Shal.

Mary then, Mouldy, Bulcalfe, Feeble, and Sadow.

Fal.

Mouldy and Bulcalfe, for you Mouldy stay at home, til you are past seruice: and for your part Bulcalfe, grow til you come vnto it, I will none of you.

Shal.

Sir Iohn, sir Iohn, doe not your selfe wrong, they are your likeliest men, and I would haue you serude with the best.

Fal.

Wil you tel me (master Shallow) how to chuse a man? care I for the limbe, the thewes, the stature, bulke and big assemblance of a man: giue me the spirit M. Shalow: heres Wart, you see what a ragged apparance it is, a shall charge you, and discharge you with the motion of a pewterers hammer, come off and on swifter then he that gibbets on the brewers bucket: and this same halfe facde fellow Shadow, giue me this man, he presents no marke to the enemy, the so-man may with as great aime leuel at the edge of a pen-knife, and for a retraite how swiftly wil this Feeble the womans Tailer runne off? O giue mee the spare men, and spare me the great ones, putte mee a

caliuer into Warts hand Bardolfe.

Bar.

Hold Wart, trauers thas, thas, thas.

Fal.

Come mannage me your caliuer: so, very wel, go to, very good, exceeding good, O giue me alwaies a little leane, olde chopt Ballde, shot: well said yfaith Wart, th'art a good scab, hold, theres a tester for thee.

Shal.

He is not his crafts-master, he doth not do it right; I remember at Mile-end-greene, when I lay at Clements Inne, I was then sir Dagonet in Arthurs show, there was a little quiuer fellow, and a would mannage you his peece thus, and a would about and about, and come you in, and come you in, rah, tah, tah, would a say, bounce would a say, and away again would a go, and againe would a come: I shall nere see such a fellow.

Fal.

These fellowes wooll doe well M. Shallow, God keep you M. Scilens, I will not vse many words with you, fare you wel gentlemen both, I thank you, I must a dosen mile to night: Bardolfe, giue the souldiers coates.

Shal.

Sir Iohn, the Lord blesse you, God prosper your affaires, God send vs peace at your returne, visit our house, let our old acquaintance be renewed, peraduenture I will with ye to the court.

Fal.

Fore God would you would.

Shal.

Go to, I haue spoke at a word, God keep you.

Fal.

Fare you well gentle gentlemen.

Shal.

On Bardolfe, leade the men away, as I returne I will fetch off these iustices, I do see the bottome of iustice Shallow, Lord, Lord, how subiect we old men are to this vice of flying, this same staru'd iustice hath done nothing but prate to me, of the wildnesse of his youth, and the feates he hath done about Turne-bull street, and euery third word a lie, dewer paid to the hearer then the Turkes tribute, I doe remember him at Clements Inne, like a man made after supper of a cheese paring, when a was naked, he was for all the worlde like a forkt reddish with a head fantastically carued vpon it with a knife, a was so forlorne, that his demensions to any thicke sight were

inuincible, a was the very genius of famine, yet lecherous as a monkie, & the whores cald him mandrake, a came ouer in the rereward of the fashion, and sung those tunes to the ouer-schutcht huswiues, that he heard the Car-men whistle, and sware they were his fancies or his good-nights, and nowe is this vices dagger become a squire, and talkes as familiarly of Iohn a Gaunt, as if he had bin sworne brother to him, and ile be sworn a nere saw him but once in the tylt-yard, and then he burst his head for crowding among the Marshalles men, I saw it and told Iohn a Gaunt he beate his owne name, for you might haue thrust him and all his aparell into an eele-skin, the case of a treble hoboy was a mansion for him a Court, and now has he land and beefes. Well, ile be acquainted with him if I returne, and t'shal go hard, but ile make him a philosophers two stones to me, if the yong Dase be a baite for the old Pike, I see no reason in the law of nature but I may snap at him, till Time shape, and there an end.

Bish.
What is this forrest calld?

Hast.
Tis Gaultree forrest, and't shal please your grace.

Bishop
Here stand, my lords, and send discouerers forth,
To know the numbers of our enemies.

Hastings
We haue sent forth already.

Bishop
Tis well done,
My friends and brethren (in these great affaires)
I must acquaint you, that I haue receiu'd
New dated letters from Northumberland,
Their cold intent, tenure, and substance thus:
Here doth he wish his person, with such powers,
As might hold fortance with his quallitie,
The which he could not leuy: whereupon
He is retirde to ripe his growing fortunes,
To Scotland, and concludes in hearty prayers,
That your attempts may ouer-liue the hazard
And fearefull meeting of their opposite.

Mowb.
Thus do the the hopes we haue in him, touch ground,
And dash themselues to peeces. Enter messenger

Hastings
Now, what newes?

Messenger
West of this forrest, scarcely off a mile,
In goodly forme comes on the enemy,
And by the ground they hide, I iudge their number
Vpon, or neere the rate of thirty thousand.

Mowbray
The iust proportion that we gaue them out,
Let vs sway on, and face them in the field.

Bishop
What wel appointed Leader fronts vs heere? Enter Westmerland

Mowbray
I thinke it is my lord of Westmerland.

West.
Health and faire greeting from our Generall,
The prince lord Iohn and duke of Lancaster.

Bishop
Say on my lord of VVestmerland in peace,
VVhat doth concerne your comming?

We.
Then my L. vnto your Grace do I in chiefe addresse
The substance of my speech: if that rebellion
Came like it selfe, in base and abiect rowtes,
Led on by bloody youth, guarded with rage,
And countenaunst by boyes and beggary.
I say, if damnd commotion so appeare,
In his true, natiue, and most proper shape,
You, reuerend father, and these noble Lordes,
Had not beene heere to dresse the owgly forme
Of base and bloody Insurrection
With your faire Honours. You (lord Archbishop)
Whose Sea is by a ciuile peace maintainde,
Whose beard the siluer hand of Peace hath toucht,
Whose learning and good letters Peace hath tutord,
Whose white inuestments figure innocence,
The Doue, and very blessed spirite of peace.
Wherefore do you so ill translate your selfe
Out of the speech of peace that beares such grace,
Into the harsh and boystrous tongue of warre?
Turning your bookes to graues, your incke to bloud,

Your pennes to launces, and your tongue diuine,
To alowd trumpet, and a point of warre?

Bish.
Wherefore do I this? so the question stands:
Briefly, to this end we are all diseasde:
The dangers of the daie's but newly gone,
VVhose memorie is written on the earth,
VVith yet appearing blood, and the examples
Of euery minutes instance (present now,)
Hath put vs in these ill-beseeming armes,
Not to breake peace, or any braunch of it,
But to establish heere a peace indeede,
Concurring both in name and quallitie.

West.
VVhen euer yet was your appeale denied
VVherein haue you beene galled by the King?
What peere hath beene subornde to grate on you?
That you should seale this lawlesse bloody booke
Offorgde rebellion with a seale diuine,
And consecrate commotions bitter edge.

Bishop
My brother Generall, the common wealth
To brother borne an houshold cruelty,
I make my quarrell in particular.

West.
There is no neede of any such redresse,
Or if there were, it not belongs to you.

Mowbray
why not to him in part, and to vs all
That feele the bruises of the daies before?
And suffer the condition of these times,
To lay a heauy and vnequall hand
Vpon our honors.

West.
But this is meere digression from my purpose.
Here come I from our princely generall,
To know your griefes, to tell you from his Grace,
That he will giue you audience, and wherein
It shall appeere that your demaunds are iust,
You shall enioy them, euery thing set off
That might so much as thinke you enemies.

Mowbray
But he hath forcde vs to compel this offer,

And it proceedes from policie, not loue.

West.
Mowbray, you ouerweene to take it so:
This offer comes from mercy, not from feare:
For loe, within a ken our army lies:
Vpon mine honour, all too confident
To giue admittance to a thought of feare:
Our battell is more full of names than yours,
Our men more perfect in the vse of armes,
Our armour all as strong, our cause the best:
Then Reason will our hearts should be as good:
Say you not then, our offer is compelld.

Mowb.
Well, by my will, we shall admit no parlee.

West.
That argues but the shame of your offence,
A rotten case abides no handling.

Hastings
Hath the prince Iohn a full commission,
In very ample vertue of his father,
To heare, and absolutely to determine
Of what conditions we shall stand vpon?

West.
That is intended in the Generalles name,
I muse you make so slight a question.

Bishop
Then take, my lord of Westmerland, this scedule,
For this containes our generall grieuances,
Each seuerall article herein redrest.
All members of our cause both here and hence,
That are ensinewed to this action,
Acquitted by a true substantiall forme,
And present execution of our willes,
To vs and our purposes confinde,
We come within our awefull bancks againe,
And knit our powers to the arme of peace.

West.
This will I shew the Generall, please you Lords,
In sight of both our battells we may meete,
At either end in peace, which God so frame,
Or to the place of diffrence call the swords,
Which must decide it. Exit Westmerland

Bishop
My lord, we will doe so.

Mou
There is a thing within my bosome tells me
That no conditions of our peace can stand.

Hastings
Feare you not, that if we can make our peace,
Vpon such large termes, and so absolute,
As our conditions shall consist vpon,
Our peace shall stand as firme as rockie mountaines.

Moub.
Yea but our valuation shal be such,
That euery slight, and false deriued cause,
Yea euery idle, nice, and wanton reason,
Shall to the King taste of this action,
That were our royal faiths martires in loue,
We shall be winow'd with so rough a wind,
That euen our corne shal seeme as light as chaffe,
And good from bad find no partition.

Bish.
No, no, my lord note this, the King is weary
Of daintie and such picking greeuances,
For he hath found, to end one doubt by death,
Reuiues two greater in the heires of life:
And therefore will he wipe his tables cleane,
And keepe no tel-tale to his memorie,
That may repeate, and history his losse,
To new remembrance: for full wel he knowes,
He cannot so precisely weed this land,
As his misdoubts present occasion,
His foes are so enrooted with his friends,
That plucking to vnfixan enemy,
He doth vnfasten so, and shake a friend,
So that this land, like an offensiue wife,
That hath enragde him on to offer strokes,
As he is striking, holdes his infant vp,
And hangs resolu'd correction in the arme,
That was vpreard to execution.

Hast.
Besides, the King hath wasted al his rods,
On late offendors, that he now doth lacke
The very instruments of chasticement,
So that his power, like to a phanglesse lion.

May offer, but not hold.

Bishop
Tis very true,
And therefore be assurde, my good Lord Marshall,
If we do now make our attonement well,
Our peace wil like a broken limbe vnited,
Grow stronger for the breaking.

Mow.
Be it so, here is returnd my lord of Westmerland. Enter Westmerland.

West.
The prince is here at hand, pleaseth your Lordship
To meet his grace iust distance tweene our armies. Enter Prince Iohn and his armie.

Mow.
Your grace of York, in Gods name then set forward.

Bishop.
Before, and greete his grace (my lord) we come.

Iohn
You are well incountred here, my cousen Mowbray,
Good day to you, gentle Lord Archbishop,
And so to you Lord Hastings and to all.
My Lord of Yorke, it better shewed with you,
When that your flocke assembled by the bell,
Encircled you, to heare with reuerence,
Your exposition on the holy text,
That now to see you here, an yron man talking,
Cheering a rowt of rebells with your drumme,
Turning the word to sword, and life to death.
That man that sits within a monarches heart,
And ripens in the sun-shine of his fauor,
Would he abuse the countenance of the King:
Alacke what mischeefes might he set abroach,
In shadow of such greatnesse? with you Lord bishop
It is euen so, who hath not heard it spoken,
How deepe you were within the bookes of God,
To vs the speaker in his parliament,
To vs th'imagine voice of God himselfe,
The very opener and intelligencer,
Betweene the grace, the sanctities of heauen,
And our dull workings? O who shal beleeue,
But you misuse the reuerence of your place,

Imply the countenance and grace of heau'n,
As a false fauorite doth his princes name:
In deedes dishonorable you haue tane vp,
Vnder the counterfeited zeale of God,
The subiects of his substitute my father,
And both against the peace of heauen and him,
Haue here vpswarmd them.

Bishop
Good my Lord of Lancaster,
I am not here against your fathers peace,
But as I told my lord of Westmerland,
The time misordred doth in common sense,
Crowd vs and crush vs to this monstrous forme,
To hold our safety vp: I sent your grace,
The parcells and particulars of our griefe,
The which hath beene with scorne shoued from the court,
Whereon this Hidra, sonne of warre is borne,
Whose dangerous eies may well be charmd asleepe,
With graunt of our most iust, and right desires;
And true obedience of this madnes cured,
Stoope tamely to the foote of maiestie.

Mow.
If not, we ready are to trie our fortunes,
To the last man.

Hast.
And though we here fal downe,
We haue supplies to second our attempt,
If they miscarry, theirs shal second them,
And so successe of mischiefe shall be borne,
And heire from heire shall hold his quarrell vp,
Whiles England shall haue generation.

Prince
You are too shallow Hastings, much too shallow,
To sound the bottome of the after times.

West.
Pleaseth your grace to answere them directly,
How far forth you do like their articles.

Prince
I like them all, and do allow them well,
And sweare here by the honour of my bloud,
My fathers purposes haue beene mistooke,
And some about him haue too lauishly,

Wrested his meaning and authority.
My Lord, these griefes shall be with speed redrest,
Vppon my soule they shal, if this may please you,
Discharge your powers vnto their seuerall counties,
As we will ours, and here betweene the armies,
Lets drinke together friendly and embrace,
That all their eies may beare those tokens home,
Of our restored loue and amitie.

Bishop
I take your princely word for these redresses,
I giue it you, and will maintaine my word,
And therevpon I drinke vnto your grace.

Prince
Go Captaine, and deliuer to the armie
This newes of peace, let them haue pay, and part.
I know it will well please them, hie thee captaine.

Bishop
To you my noble lord of Westmerland.

West.
I pledge your grace, and if you knew what paines,
I haue bestowed to breed this present peace,
You would drinke freely, but my loue to ye
Shall shew it selfe more openly hereafter.

Bishop
I do not doubt you.

West.
I am glad of it,
Health to my Lord, and gentle cosin Mowbray.

Mow.
You wish me health in very happy season,
For I am on the sodaine something ill.

Bishop
Against ill chaunces men are euer mery,
But heauinesse fore-runnes the good euent.

West.
Therefore be mery coze, since sodaine sorrow
Serues to say thus, some good thing comes to morow.

Bishop
Beleeue me I am passing light in spirit.

Mow.
So much the worse if your owne rule be true. shout.

Prin.
The word of peace is rendred heark how they showe.

Mow.
This had bin cheerefull after victory.

Bishop
A peace is of the nature of a conquest,
For then both parties nobly are subdued,
And neither party looser.

Prince
Go my lord,

And let our army be discharged too,
And, good my lord, so please you, let our traines
March by vs, that we may peruse the men,
VVe should haue coap't withall.

Bishop
Go, good Lord Hastings,
And ere they be dismist, let them march by. enter Westmerland.

Prince
I trust Lords we shal lie to night togither:
Now coosin, wherefore stands our army stil?

West.
The Leaders hauing charge from you to stand,
Wil not goe off vntil they heare you speake.

Prince
They know their dueties. enter Hastings

Hastings
My lord, our army is disperst already,
Like youthfull steeres vnyoakt they take their courses,
East, weast, north, south, or like a schoole broke vp,
Each hurries toward his home, and sporting place.

West.
Good tidings my lord Hastings, for the which
I do arest thee traitor of high treason,
And you lord Archbishop, and you lord Mowbray,
Of capitall treason I attach you both.

Mowbray
Is this proceeding iust and honorable?

West.
Is your assembly so?

Bishop
will you thus breake your faith?

Prince
I pawnde thee none,
I promist you redresse of these same grieuances
Whereof you did complaine, which by mine honour
I will performe, with a most christian care.
But for you rebels, looke to taste the due
Meete for rebellion:
Most shallowly did you these armes commence,
Fondly brought heere and foolishly sent hence.
Strike vp our drummes, pursue the scattred stray:
God, and not we, hath safely fought to day:
Some guard this traitour to the blocke of death,
Treasons true bed, and yeelder vp of breath. Alarum Enter Falstaffe excursions

Fal.

whats your name sir, of what condition are you, and

of what place?

Cole.

I am a Knight sir, and my name is Coleuile of the Dale.

Fal.

well then, Colleuile is your name, a Knight is your degree, and your place the dale: Coleuile shalbe still your name, a traitor your degree, & the dungeon your place, a place deep enough, so shall you be stil Colleuile of the Dale.

Colle.

Are not you sir Iohn Falstaffe?

Fal.

As good a man as he sir, who ere I am: doe ye yeelde sir, or shall I sweat for you? if I doe sweate, they are the drops of thy louers, and they weepe for thy death, therefore rowze vp feare and trembling, and do obseruance to my mercie.

Colle.

I think you are sir Iohn Falstaffe, and in that thought yeelde me.

Fal.

I haue a whole school of tongues in this belly of mine, and not a tongue of them all speakes any other word but my name and I had but a belly of any indifferencie, I were simply the most actiue fellow in Europe: my womb, my wombe, my womb vndoes me, heere comes our Generall.

Iohn
The heate is past, follow no further now,
Call in the powers good coosin Westmerland.
Now Falstaffe, where haue you beene all this while?
VVhen euery thing is ended, then you come:
These tardy trickes of yours wil on my life
One time or other breake some gallowes backe.

Fal.

I would bee sory my lord, but it shoulde bee thus: I neuer knew yet but Rebuke and Checke, was the rewarde of Valor: do you thinke me a swallow, an arrow, or a bullet? haue I in my poore and old motion the expedition of thought? I haue speeded hither with the very extreamest inch of possibility, I haue foundred ninescore and od postes, and here trauell tainted as I am, haue in my pure and immaculate valour, taken sir Iohn Celleuile of the Dale, a most furious Knight and valorous enemy,: but what of that? he sawe me, and yeelded, that I may iustly say with the hooke-nosde fellow of Rome,

there cosin, I came, saw, and ouercame.

Iohn

It was more of his curtesie then your deseruing.

Falst.

I know not, here he is, and here I yeeld him, and I beseech your grace let it be bookte with the rest of this daies deedes, or by the Lord, I wil haue it in a particular ballad else, with mine owne picture on the top on't, (Coleuile kissing my foote) to the which course, if I bee enforst, if you doe not all shew like guilt twoo pences to mee, and I in the cleere skie of Fame, ore-shine you as much as the full moone doth the cindars of the element, (which shew like pinnes heads to her) beleeue not the worde of the noble: therefore let me haue right, and let Desert mount.

Prince

Thine's too heauy to mount.

Falst.

Let it shine then.

Prince

Thines too thicke to shine.

Falst.

Let it do some thing, my good lord, that may doe me good, and call it what you will.

Prince

Is thy name Colleuile?

Col.

It is my Lord.

Prince

A famous rebell art thou Colleuile.

Falst.

And a famous true subiect tooke him.

Col.
I am my lord but as my betters are,
That led me hither, had they bin rulde by me,
You should haue wonne them deerer then you haue.

Fal.

I know not how they sold themselues, but thou like a kind fellow gauest thy selfe away gratis, and I thanke thee for thee.

Prince
Now, haue you left pursuit?

West.
Retraite is made, and execution stayd.

Prince
Send Colleuile with his confederates
To Yorke to present execution,
Blunt leade him hence, and see you guard him sure.
And now dispatch we toward the court my lordes,
I heare the King my father is sore sick,
Our newes shall go before vs to his maiestie,
Which cosin you shall beare to comfort him,

And we with sober speede will follow you.

Falst.

My Lord, I beseech you giue me leaue to go through Glostershire, and when you come to court, stand my good lord in your good report.

Prince

Fare you wel Falstaffe, I, in my condition, shal better speake of you then you deserue.

Fal.

I would you had the wit, twere better than your dukedome, good faith this same yong sober blouded boy doth not loue me, nor a m&abar; c&abar;not make him laugh, but thats no maruel, he drinkes no wine, theres neuer none of these demure boyes come to any proofe, for thin drinke doth so ouer-coole theyr blood, and making many fish meales, that they fall into a kind of male greene sicknes, and then when they marry, they gette wenches, they are generally fooles and cowards, which some of vs should be too but for inflammation: a good sherris sacke hath a two fold operation in it, it ascendes mee into the braine, dries me there all the foolish, and dull and crudy vapors which enuirone it, makes it apprehensiue, quicke, forgetiue, full of nimble, fiery, and delectable shapes, which deliuered ore to the voyce, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris, is the warming of the blood, which before (cold & setled.) left the lyuer white & pale, which is the badge of pusilanimitie and cowardize: but the sherris warmes it, and makes it course from the inwards to the partes extreames, it illumineth the face, which as a beakon, giues warning to al the rest of this little kingdom man to arme, and then the vitall commoners, and inland petty spirits, muster me all to their captaine, the heart: who great and pufft vp with this retinew, doth any deed of courage: and this valour comes of sherris, so that skill in the weapon is nothing without sacke (for that sets it aworke) and learning a meere whoord of gold kept by a diuell, till sacke commences it, and sets it in act and vse. Hereof comes it, that Prince Harry is valiant, for the cold blood he did naturally inherite of his father, he hath like leane, sterile, and bare land, manured, husbanded and tilld, with excellent endeuour of drinking good

and good store of fertile sherris, that he is become very hote and valiant. If I had a thousand sonnes, the first humane principle I would teach them, should be, to forsweare thinpotations, and to addict themselues to sacke. How now Bardolfe?

Bar.

The army is discharged all, and gone.

Fal.

Let them goe, ile through Glostershire, and there will I visit M. Robert Shallow Esquire, I haue him already tempring betweene my finger and my thumb, and shortly will I seale with him, come away.

King
Now lords, if God doth giue successefull end,
To this debate that bleedeth at our doores,
We will our youth leade on to higher fields,
And draw no swords but what are sanctified:
Our nauie is addrest, our power collected,
Our substitutes in absence wel inuested,
And euery thing lies leuell to our wish,
Only we want a little personal strength:
And pawse vs til these rebels now afoote,
Come vnderneath the yoke of gouernment.

War.
Both which we doubt not, but your maiesty
Shal soone enioy.

King

Humphrey my sonne of Gloster, where is the prince your brother?

Glo.

I thinke hees gone to hunt, my lord, at Winsor.

King

And how accompanied?

Glo.

I do not know, my lord.

King

Is not his brother Thomas of Clarence with him?

Glo.

No, my good lord, he is in presence here.

Clar.

What would my lord and father?

Kin
Nothing but well to thee Thomas of Clarence,
How chance thou art not with the prince thy brother?
He loues thee, and thou dost neglect him, Thomas,
Thou hast a better place in his affection

Then all thy brothers, cherrish it my boy:
And noble offices thou maist effect
Of mediation after I am dead,
Betweene his greatnesse and thy other brethren:
Therefore omit him not, blunt not his loue,
Nor loose the good aduantage of his grace,
By seeming cold, or carelesse of his will,
For he is gracious if he be obseru'de,
He hath a teare for pittie, and a hand,
Open as day for meeting charitie,
Yet notwithstanding being incenst, he is flint,
As humorous as winter, and as sodaine
As flawes congealed in the spring of day:
His temper therefore must be well obseru'd,
Chide him for faults, and do it reuerently,
When you perceiue his bloud inclind to mirth:
But being moody, giue him time and scope,
Till that his passions, like a whale on ground
Confound themselues with working learne this Thomas,
And thou shalt proue a shelter to thy friends,
A hoope of gold to binde thy brothers in,
That the vnited vessell of their bloud,
(Mingled with venome of suggestion,
As force perforce, the age will powre it in,)
Shall neuer leake, though it doe worke as strong,
As Aconitum, or rash gunpowder.

Cla.
I shall obserue him with all care and loue.

King
Why art thou not at Winsore with him Thomas?

Tho.
He is not there to day, he dines in London.

King
And how accompanied?

Tho.
With Poines, and other his continuall followers.

King
Most subiect is the fattest soyle to weeds,
And he the noble image of my youth,
Is ouerspread with them, therefore my griefe
Stretches it selfe beyond the howre of death:
The bloud weepes from my heart when I do shape,

In formes imaginary, th'unguyded daies,
And rotten times that you shall looke vpon,
When I am sleeping with my auncestors:
For when his head-strong riot hath no curbe,
VVhen rage and hot bloud are his counsellors,
VVhen meanes and lauish manners meete together,
Oh with what wings shal his affections flie,
Towards fronting peril and opposde decay?

War.
My gracious Lord, you looke beyond him quite,
The prince but studies his companions,
Like a strange tongue wherein to gaine the language:
Tis needfull that the most immodest word,
Be lookt vpon and learnt, which once attaind,
Your highnesse knowes comes to no further vse,
But to be knowne and hated: so, like grosse termes,
The prince will in the perfectnesse of time,
Cast off his followers, and their memory
Shall as a pattern, or a measure liue,
By which his grace must mete the liues of other,
Turning past-euils to aduantages.

King
Tis seldome when the bee doth leaue her comb,
In the dead carion: who's here, Westmerland? Enter Westmerland.

West.
Health to my soueraigne, and new happinesse
Added to that that I am to deliuer,
Prince Iohn your sonne doth kisse your graces hand.
Mowbray, the Bishop, Scroope, Hastings, and al,
Are brought to the correction of your law:
There is not now a rebels sword vnsheathd,
But Peace puts forth her oliue euery where,
The manner how this action hath bin borne,
Here at more leisure may your highnesse reade,
With euery course in his particular.

King
O Westmerland, thou art a summer bird,
VVhich euer in the haunch of winter sings
The lifting vp of day: looke heres more newes. enter Harcor.

Harc.
From enemies heauens keep your maiesty,
And when they stand against you may they fall
As those that I am come to tell you of:
The Earle Northumberland, and the Lord Bardolfe,
With a great power of English, and of Scots,
Are by the shrieue of Yorkshire ouerthrowne,
The manner, and true order of the fight,
This packet, please it you, containes at large,

Ki.
And wherfore should these good news make me sicke?
Will Fortune neuer come with both hands full.
But wet her faire words stil in foulest termes?
She either giues a stomach, and no foode,
Such are the poore in health: or else a feast,
And takes away the stomach, such are the rich
That haue aboundance, and enioy it not:
I should reioyce now at this happy newes,
And now my sight failes, and my braine is giddy,
O me, come neare me, now I am much ill.

Hum.
Comfort your maiesty.

Clar.
O my royall father!

West.
My soueraigne Lord, cheere vp your selfe, look vp.

War.
Be patient princes, you do know these fits
Are with his highnesse very ordinary.
Stand from him, giue him ayre, heel straight be wel.

Clar.
No, no, he cannot long hold out these pangs,
Th'incessant care and labour of his mind,
Hath wrought the Mure that should confine it in,
So thin that life lookes through.

Hum.
The people feare me, for they do obserue
Vnfather'd heires, and lothly births of nature,
The seasons change their manners, as the yeere
Had found some moneths a sleepe, and leapt them ouer.

Clar.
The riuer hath thrice flowed, no ebbe between,
And the old folk, (Times doting chronicles,)
Say, it did so a little time before
That our great grandsire Edward, sickt and died.

War.
Speake lower, princes, for the King recouers.

Hum.
This apoplexi wil certaine be his end.

King
I pray you take me vp, and beare me hence,
Into some other chamber.
Let there be no noyse made, my gentle friends,
Vnlesse some dull and fauourable hand
Will whisper musique to my weary spirite.

War.
Call for the musique in the other roome.

King
Set me the crowne vpon my pillow here.

Clar.
His eie is hollow, and he changes much.

War.
Lesse noyse, lesse noyse. Enter Harry

Prince
Who saw the duke of Clarence?

Clar.
I am here brother, ful of heauinesse.

Prince
How now, raine within doores, and none abroad?
How doth the King?

Hum.

Exceeding ill.

Prince

Heard he the good newes yet? tell it him.

Hum.

He altred much vpon the hearing it,

Prince

If he be sicke with ioy, heele recouer without phisicke.

War.

Not so much noyse my Lords, sweete prince, speake lowe, the King your father is disposde to sleepe.

Cla.
Let vs withdraw into the other roome.

War.
Wilt please your Grace to go along with vs?

Prince
No, I wil sit and watch heere by the King.
Why doth the Crowne he there vpon his pillow,
Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polisht perturbation! golden care!
That keepst the ports of Slumber open wide
To many a watchfull night, sleepe with it now!
Yet not so sound, and halfe so deeply sweete,
As he whose brow (with homely biggen bound)
Snores out the watch of night. O maiestie!
When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
Like a rich armour worne in heate of day,
That sealdst with safty (by his gates of breath)

There lies a dowlny feather which stirs not,
Did he suspire, that light and weightlesse dowlne
Perforce must moue my gracious lord my father:
This sleepe is sound indeede, this is a sleepe,
That from this golden Rigoll hath diuorst
So many English Kings, thy deaw from me,
Is teares and heauy sorowes of the blood,
Which nature, loue, and filiall tendernesse
Shall (O deare father) pay thee plenteously:
My due from thee is this imperiall Crowne,
Which as immediate from thy place and blood,
Deriues it selfe to me: loe where it sits,
Which God shal guard, and put the worlds whole strength
Into one giant arme, it shal not force,
This lineal honor from me, this from thee
Will I to mine leaue, as tis left to me. exit. Enter Warwicke, Gloucester, Clarence.

King

Warwicke, Gloucester, Clarence.

Clar.

Doth the King cal?

War.

What would your Maiestie?

King

Why did you leaue me here alone, my lords?

Cla.

We left the prince my brother here my liege, who vndertooke to sit and watch by you.

King

The prince of Wales, where is he? let me see him: he is not here.

War.
This doore is open, he is gone this way.

Hum.
He came not through the chamber where we staide.

King
Where is the Crowne? who took it from my pillow?

War.
When we withdrew, my liege, we left it here.

King
The Prince hath tane it hence go seeke him out:
Is he so hastie, that he doth suppose my sleepe my death?
Finde him, my lord of Warwicke, chide him hither.
This part of his conioynes with my disease,
And helps to end me: see, sonnes, what things you are,
How quickly nature falls into reuolt,
When gold becomes her obiect?

For this, the foolish ouer-carefull fathers
Haue broke their sleepe with thoughts,
Their braines with care, their bones with industry:
For this they haue ingrossed and pilld vp,
The cankred heapes of strange atcheeued gold:
For this they haue beene thoughtfull to inuest
Their sonnes with arts and martiall exercises,
When like the bee toling from euery flower,
Our thigh, packt with waxe our mouthes with hony,
We bring it to the hiue: and like the bees,
Are murdred for our paines, this bitter taste
Yeelds his engrossements to the ending father,
Now where is he that will not stay so long,
Till his friend sicknesse hands determind me. Enter Warwicke.

War.
My Lord, I found the prince in the next roome,
Washing with kindly teares, his gentle cheekes,
VVith such a deepe demeanour in great sorrow,
That tyranny, which neuer quaft but bloud,
VVould by beholding him, haue washt his knife,
VVith gentle eie-drops, hee is comming hither. Enter Harry.

King
But wherefore did he take away the crowne?
Loe where he comes, come hither to me Harry,
Depart the chamber, leaue vs here alone. exeunt.

Harry
I neuer thought to heare you speake againe.

King
Thy wish was father (Harry,) to that thought
I stay too long by thee, I weary thee,
Dost thou so hunger for mine emptie chaire,
That thou wilt needes inuest thee with my honors,
Before thy howre be ripe! O foolish youth,
Thou seekst the greatnesse that will ouerwhelme thee,
Stay but a little, for my clowd of dignity
Is held from falling with so weake a wind,
That it will quickly drop: my day is dim,
Thou hast stolne that, which after some few houres,
VVere thine, without offence, and at my death,
Thou hast seald vp my expectation,

Thy life did manifest thou lou'dst me not,
And thou wilt haue me die, assurde of it,
Thou hidst a thousand daggers in thy thoughts,
VVhom thou hast whetted on thy stony heart,
To stab at halfe an hower of my life.
VVhat, canst thou not forbeare me halfe an hower?
Then get thee gone, and digge my graue thy selfe,
And bid the mery bells ring to thine eare,
That thou art crowned, not that I am dead:
Let all the teares that should bedew my hearse
Be drops of Balme, to sanctifie thy head,
Only compound me with forgotten dust.
Giue that which gaue thee life, vnto the wormes,
Plucke downe my officers, breake my decrees,
For now a time is come to mocke at Forme:
Harry the fift is crownd, vp vanitie,
Downe royall state, all you sage counsailers, hence,
And to the English Court assemble now
From euery region, apes of idlenesse:
Now neighbour confines, purge you of your scumme
Haue you a ruffin that will sweare, drinke, daunce,
Reuell the night rob, murder, and commit
The oldest sinnes, the newest kind of waies?
Be happy, he will trouble you no more.
England shal double gild his trebble gilt,
England shall giue him office honour, might:
For the fift Harry, from curbd licence, plucks
The mussel of restraint, and the wild dogge
Shal flesh his tooth on euery innocent.
O my poore kingdome! sicke with ciuill blowes:
VVhen that my care could not withhold thy riots,
VVhat wilt thou do when riot is thy care?
O thou wilt be a wildernesse againe,
Peopled with woolues, thy old inhabitants.

Prince
O pardon me my liege, but for my teares,
The moist impediments vnto my speech,

I had forestald this deere and deep rebuke,
Ere you with griefe had spoke, and I had heard
The course of it so far: there is your crowne:
And he that weares the crowne immortally,
Long gard it yours: if I affect it more,
Then as your honour, and as your renowne,
Let me no more from this obedience rise,
VVhich my most inward true and duteous spirit,
Teacheth this prostrate and exterior bending,
God witnesse with me. When I here came in,
And found no course of breath within your maiesty,
How cold it strooke my heart! if I do faine,
O let me in my present wildnesse die,
And neuer liue to shew th'incredulous world,
The noble change that I haue purposed.
Comming to looke on you, thinking you dead,
And dead almost, my liege, to thinke you were,
I spake vnto this crowne as hauing sence,
And thus vpbraided it: the care on thee depending,
Hath fed vpon the body of my father,
Therefore thou best of gold, art worse then gold,
Other lesse fine, in karrat more precious,
Preseruing life in medcine potable:
But thou, most fine most honourd, most renown'd,
Hast eate thy bearer vp: thus my most royall liege,
Accusing it, I put it on my head,
To trie with it as with an enemy,
That had before my face murdered my father,
The quarrell of a true inheritour,
But if it did infect my bloud with ioy,
Or swell my thoughts to any straine of pride,
If any rebel or vaine spirit of mine,
Did with the least affection of a welcome,
Giue entertainement to the might of it,
Let God for euer keep it from my head,

And make me as the poorest vassaile is,
That doth with aw and terror kneele to it.

King
God put in thy mind to take it hence,
That thou mightst win the more thy fathers loue,
Pleading so wisely in excuse of it:
Come hither Harry, sit thou by my bed,
And heare (I thinke) the very latest counsaile
That euer I shal breathe. God knowes (my sonne)
By what by-paths, and indirect crookt waies,
I met this crowne, and I my selfe know well,
How troublesome it sate vpon my head:
To thee it shall descend with better quiet,
Better opinion, better confirmation,
For al the soyle of the atchieuement goes,
With me into the earth, it seemd in me,
But as an honor snatcht with boistrous hand,
And I had many liuing to vpbraide
My gaine of it, by their assistances,
Which daily grew to quarrell and to bloudshed,
Wounding supposed peace: all these bold feares
Thou seest with perill I haue answerd:
For all my raigne hath beene but as a Scene,
Acting that argument: and now my death
Changes the mood, for what in me was purchast,
Fals vpon thee in a more fairer sort.
So thou the'garland wearst successiuely,
Yet though thou standst more sure then I could do,
Thou art not firme enough, since griefes are greene,
And all thy friends which thou must make thy friends,
Haue but their stings and teeth newly tane out:
By whose fell working I was first aduaunst,
And by whose power I well might lodge a feare
To be againe displacde: which to auoyde,
I cut them off, and had a purpose, now
To leade out manie to the Holy Land,
Lest rest, and lying stil, might make them looke,

Too neare vnto my state: therefore, my Harry,
Be it thy course to busie giddie mindes
With forraine quarrells, that action hence borne out,
May waste the memory of the former dayes.
More would I, but my lungs are wasted so,
That strength of speech is vtterly denied me:
How I came by the crowne, O God forgiue,
And grant it may with thee in true peace liue.

Prince
You won it, wore it, kept it, gaue it me,
Then plaine and right must my possession be,
Which I with more then with a common paine,
Gainst all the world will rightfully maintaine. enter Lancaster.

King
Looke, looke, here comes my Iohn of Lancaster.

Lanc.
Health, peace, and happinesse to my royall father.

King
Thou bringst me happinesse and peace sonne Iohn,
But health (alacke) with youthfull wings is flowne
From this bare witherd trunke: vpon thy sight,
My worldly busines makes a period:
Where is my lord of Warwicke?

Prince
My Lord of Warwicke.

King
Doth any name perticular belong
Vnto the lodging where I first did swound?

War.
Tis cald Ierusalem, my noble Lord.

King
Laud be to God, euen there my life must end.
It hath bin prophecide to me many yeares,
I should not die, but in Ierusalem,
Which vainely I supposde the Holy Land:
But beare me to that chamber, there ile lie, Enter Shallow, Falstaffe, and Bardolfe
In that Ierusalem shall Harry die.

Shal.

By cock and pie sir, you shal not away to night, what Dauy I say?

Falst.

You must excuse me master Robert Shallow.

Shal.

I will not excuse you, you shall not be excusde, excuses shall not be admitted, there is no excuse shall serue, you shall not be excusde: why Dauy.

Dauy

Here sir.

Shal.

Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, let me see Dauy, let me see Dauy, let me see, yea mary VVilliam Cooke, bid him come hither, sir Iohn, you shal not be excused.

Dauy

Mary sir thus, those precepts can not be serued, and againe sir, shal we sow the hade land with wheate?

Shal.

VVith red wheat Dauy, but for VVilliam Cooke are there no yong pigeons?

Dauy

Yes sir, here is now the Smiths note for shooing and plow-yrons.

Shal.

Let it be cast and payed: sir Iohn, you shal not be excused.

Dauy

Now sir, a new lincke to the bucket must needes be had: and sir, do you meane to stop any of VVilliams wages, about the sacke he lost at Hunkly Faire?

Shal.

A shall answer it: some pigeons Dauy, a couple of short legg'd hens, a ioynt of mutton, and any pretty little tinie Kick-shawes, tell william Cooke.

Dauy

Doth the man of warre stay all night sir?

Shal.

Yea Dauy, I will vse him well, a friend i'th court is better then a penie in purse: vse his men wel Dauy, for they are arrant knaues, and will backbite.

Dauy

No worse then they are back-bitten sir, for they haue maruailes foule linnen.

Shal.

VVell conceited Dauy, about thy businesse Dauy.

Dauy

I beseech you sir to countenance VVilliam Visor of Woncote against Clement Perkes a'th hill.

Sha.

There is many complaints Dauy against that Visor, that Visor is an arrant knaue on my knowledge.

Dauy

I graunt your worship that he is a knaue sir: but yet God forbid sir, but a knaue should haue some countenance at his friends request, an honest man sir is able to speake for himselfe, when a knaue is not: I haue seru de your worship truly sir this eight yeares and I cannot once, or twice in a quarter beare out a knaue against an honest man, I haue litle credit with your worship: the knaue is mine honest friend sir, therfore I beseech you let him be countenaunst.

Shal.

Go to I say, he shal haue no wrong, look about Dauy: where are you sir Iohn? come, come, come, off with your boots, giue me your hand master Bardolfe.

Bard.

I am glad to see your worship.

Shal

I thank thee with my heart kind master Bardolfe, and welcome my tall fellow, come sir Iohn.

Falst.

Ile follow you good maister Robert Shallow: Bardolfe, looke to our horses: if I were sawed into quantities, I should make foure dozen of such berded hermites staues as maister Shallow: it is a wonderfull thing to see the semblable coherence of his mens spirits, and his, they, by obseruing him, do beare themselues like foolish Iustices: hee, by conuersing with them, is turned into a Iustice-like seruingman, their spirits are so married in coniunction, with the participation of society, that they flocke together in consent, like so many wild geese. If I had a suite to master Shallow, I would humour his men with the imputation, of beeing neere their maister: if to his men, I would curry with maister Shallow, that no man could better commaund his seruants. It is certaine, that eyther wise bearing, or ignorant cariage is caught, as men take diseases one of another: therefore let men take heede of their company. I will deuise matter enough out of this Shallow, to keepe prince Harry in continuall laughter, the wearing out of sixe fashions, which is foure termes, or two actions, and a shal laugh without interuallums. O it is much that a lie, with a slight oathe, and a iest, with a sad browe, will doe with a fellow that neuer had the ach in his shoulders: O you shall see him laugh til his face be like a wet cloake ill laide vp.

Shal.

Sir Iohn.

Falst.

I come maister Shallow, I come master Shallow.

War.
How now, my lord chiefe Iustice, whither away?

Iust.
How doth the King?

War.
Exceeding well, his cares are now all ended.

Iust.
I hope not dead.

War.
Hees walkt the way of nature,
And to our purposes he liues no more.

Iust.
I would his Maiestie had calld me with him:
The seruice that I truely did his life,
Hath left me open to all iniuries.

War.
Indeede I thinke the yong King loues you not.

Iust.
I know he doth not, and do arme my selfe
To welcome the condition of the time,
Which cannot looke more hideously vpon me,
Than I haue drawne it in my fantasie. Enter Iohn, Thomas, and Humphrey.

War.
Heere come the heauy issue of dead Harry:
O that the liuing Harry had the temper
Of he, the worst of these three gentlemen!
How many Nobles then should holde their places,
That must strike saile to spirites of vile sort?

Iust.
O God, I feare all will be ouer-turnd.

Iohn
Good morrow coosin Warwicke, good morrow.

Prin. ambo
Good morrow coosin.

Iohn
We meete like men that had forgot to speake.

War.
We do remember, but our argument
Is all too heauy to admit much talke.

Iohn
Well, peace be with him that hath made vs heauy.

Iust.
Peace be with vs, lest we be heauier.

Humph.
O good my lord, you haue lost a friend indeede,
And I dare sweare you borrow not that face
Of seeming sorrow, it is sure your owne.

Iohn
Though no man be assurde what grace to finde,
You stand in coldest expectation,
I am the sorier, would twere otherwise.

Cla.
Well, you must now speake sir Iohn Falstaffe faire,
Which swimmes against your streame of quallitie.

Iust.
Sweet princes, what I did, I did in honor,
Led by th'impartiall conduct of my soule.
And neuer shall you see that I will begge
A ragged and forestald remission,

If truth and vpright innocencie faile me.
Ile to the King my maister that is dead,
And tell him who hath sent me after him. Enter the Prince and Blunt

War.
Here comes the Prince.

Iust.
Good morrow, and God saue your maiestie.

Prince
This new and gorgeous garment Maiesty
Sits not so easie on me, as you thinke:
Brothers, you mixt your sadnesse with some feare,
This is the English, not the Turkish court,
Not Amurath an Amurath succeedes,
But Harry Harry: yet be sad, good brothers,
For by my faith it very well becomes you:
Sorrow so royally in you appeares,
That I will deeply put the fashion on,
And weare it in my heart: why then be sad,
But entertaine no more of it, good brothers,
Then a ioynt burden layd vpon vs all,
For me, by heauen (I bid you be assurde)
Ile be your father, and your brother too,
Let me but beare your loue, Ile beare your cares:
Yet weepe that Harries dead, and so will I,
But Harry liues, that shal conuert those teares
By number into howres of happinesse.

Bro.
We hope no otherwise from your maiesty.

Prince
You al looke strangely on me, and you most,
You are I thinke assurde I loue you not.

Iust
I am assurde, if I be measurde rightly,
Your maiesty hath no iust cause to hate me.

Prince
No? how might a prince of my great hopes forget,
So great indignities you laid vpon me?
What rate, rebuke, and roughly send to prison,
Th immediate heire of England? was this easie?
May this be washt in lethy and forgotten?

Iust.
I then did vse the person of your father,
The image of his power lay then in me,
And in th'administration of his law,

Whiles I was busie for the common wealth,
Your Highnesse pleased to forget my place,
The maiestie and power of law and iustice,
The image of the King whom I presented,
And strooke me in my very seate of iudgement,
Whereon, (as an offendor to your father,)
I gaue bold way to my authority,
And did commit you: if the deed were ill,
Be you contented, wearing now the garland,
To haue a sonne set your decrees at naught?
To plucke downe Iustice from your awful bench?
To trip the course of law, and blunt the sword,
That guards the peace and safetie of your person?
Nay more, to spurne at your most royall image,
And mocke your workings in a second body?
Question your royall thoughts, make the case yours,
Be now the father, and propose a sonne,
Heare your owne dignity so much prophan'd,
See your most dreadfull lawes so loosely slighted,
Behold your selfe so by a sonne disdained:
And then imagine me taking your part,
And in your power soft silencing your sonne,
After this cold considerance sentence me,
And as you are a King, speake in your state,
What I haue done that misbecame my place,
My person, or my lieges soueraigntie.

Prince
You are right Iustice, and you weigh this well,
Therefore still beare the Ballance and the Sword,
And I do wish your honors may encrease,
Til you do liue to see a sonne of mine
Offend you, and obey you as I did:
So shall I liue to speake my fathers words,
Happie am I that haue a man so bold,
That dares do iustice on my proper sonne:
And not lesse happie, hauing such a sonne,
That would deliuer vp his greatnesse so,

Into the hands of Iustice you did commit me:
For which I do commit into your hand,
Th'vnstained sword that you haue vsde to beare,
With this remembrance, that you vse the same
With the like bold, iust, and impartial spirit,
As you haue done gainst me: there is my hand,
You shall be as a father to my youth,
My voice shall sound as you do prompt mine eare,
And I will stoope and humble my intents,
To your well practizde wise directions.
And princes all, beleeue me I beseech you,
My father is gone wild into his graue:
For in his toomb lie my affections,
And with his spirites sadly I suruiue,
To mocke the expectation of the world,
To frustrate prophecies, and to race out,
Rotten opinion, who hath writ me downe
After my seeming, the tide of bloud in me
Hath prowdely flowd in vanitie till now:
Now doth it turne, and ebbe backe to the sea,
Where it shall mingle with the state of flouds,
And flow henceforth in formall maiestie.
Now call we our high court of parliament,
And let vs chuse such limbs of noble counsaile,
That the great bodie of our state may goe,
In equall ranke with the best gouernd Nation,
That warre, or peace, or both at once, may be,
As things acquainted and familiar to vs,
In which you father shall haue formost hand:
Our coronation done, we wil accite,
(As I before remembred) all our state,
And (God consigning to my good intents,)
No prince nor peere shall haue iust cause to say,
God shorten Harries happy life one day. exit. Enter sir Iohn, Shallow, Scilens, Dauy, Bardolfe, page.

Shal.

Nay you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour we

will eate a last yeeres pippen of mine owne graffing, with a dish of carrawaies and so forth: come coosin Scilens, and then to bed.

Falst.

Fore God you haue here goodly dwelling, and rich.

Shal.

Barraine, barraine, barraine, beggars all, beggars all sir Iohn, mary good ayre: spread Dauy, spread Dauy, well saide Dauy.

Fal.

This Dauy serues you for good vses, hee is your seruing-man, and your husband.

Shal.

A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet sir Iohn: by the mas I haue drunke too much sacke at supper: a good varlet: now sit downe, now sit downe, come cosin.

Scilens

A sirra quoth a, we shall do nothing but eate and make good cheere, and praise God for the merry yeere, when flesh is cheape and females deare, and lusty laddes roame here and there so merely, and euer among so merily.

Sir Iohn

Theres a merry heart, good M. Silens ile giue you a health for that anon.

Shal.

Giue master Bardolfe some wine, Dauy.

Dauy

Sweet sir sit, ile be with you anon, most sweet sir sit, master Page, good master Page sit: proface, what you want in meate, weele haue in drink, but you must beare, the heart's al.

Shal.

Be mery master Bardolfe, and my litle souldier there, be merry.

Scilens

Be merry, be mery, my wife has all, for women are shrowes both short and tall, tis merry in hal when beards wags all, and welcome mery shrouetide, be mery, be mery.

Falst.

I did not thinke master Scilens had bin a man of this mettall.

Scilens

Who I? I haue beene mery twice and once ere now.

Dauy

Theres a dish of Lether-coates for you.

Shal.

Dauy?

Dauy

Your worship: Ile be with you straight, a cup of wine sir.

Scilens.

A cup of wine thats briske and fine, and drinke vnto

the leman mine, and a mery heart liues long a.

Falst.

Well said master Scilens.

Scilens

And we shall be mery, now comes in the sweete a'th night.

Falst

Health and long life to you master Scilens.

Scilens

Fill the cuppe, and let it come, ile pledge you a mile too th bottome.

Shal.

Honest Bardolfe, welcome, if thou wantst any thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart, welcome my little tiny theefe, and welcome indeede too, Ile drink to master Bardolfe, and to all the cabileros about London.

Dauy

I hope to see London once ere I die.

Bar.

And I might see you there Dauy!

Shal.

By the mas youle crack a quarte together, ha will you not master Bardolfe?

Bar.

Yea sir, in a pottle pot.

Sha.

By Gods liggens I thanke thee, the knaue will sticke by thee, I can assure thee that a wil not out, a tis true bred!

Bar.

And ile stick by him sir.

Sha.

Why there spoke a King: lacke nothing, be mery, looke whos at doore there ho, who knockes?

Falst.

Why now you haue done me right.

Silens

Do me right, and dub me Knight, samingo: ist not so?

Falst.

Tis so.

Silens

Ist so, why then say an olde man can do somewhat.

Dauy

And't please your worship, theres one Pistoll come from the court with newes.

Falst.

From the Court? let him come in, how now Pistol?

Pistol

Sir Iohn. God saue you.

Falst.

What wind blew you hither Pistol?

Pistol

Not the ill winde which blowes no man to good: sweete Knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this Realme.

Silens

Birlady I think a be, but goodman Puffe of Barson.

Pisto

Puffe? Puffe ith thy teeth, most recreant coward, base, sir Iohn, I am thy Pistol and thy frend, and helter skelter, haue

I rode to thee, and tidings do I bring, and luckie ioyes, and golden times, and happy news of price.

Iohn

I pray thee now deliuer them like a man of this world.

Pistol

A footre for the world and wordlings base, I speake of Affrica and golden ioyes.

Iohn

O base Assirian Knight! what is thy newes? let King Couetua know the truth thereof.

Scilens

And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and Iohn.

Pistol

Shal dunghill curs confront the Helicons? and shall good newes be baffled? then Pistoll lay thy head in Furies lap.

Shal.

Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.

Pistol.

Why then lament therefore.

Shal.

Giue me pardon sir, if sir you come with newes from the court, I take it theres but two waies, either to vtter them, or conceale them, I am sir vnder the King in some authoritie.

Pistol

Vnder which King, Besonian? speake, or die.

Shal.

Vnder King Harry.

Pistol

Harry the fourth, or fift?

Shal.

Harry the fourth.

Pist

A fowtre for thine office: sir Iohn, thy tender lambkin now is King: Harry the fifts the man: I speake the truth: when Pistol lies, do this, and fig me, like the bragging spaniard.

Falst.

What is the old King dead?

Pistol

As nayle in doore, the things I speake are iust.

Fal.

Away Bardolfe, saddle my horse, M. Robert Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land, tis thine: Pistol, I will double charge thee with dignities.

Bard.

O ioyful day! I would not take a Knight for my fortune.

Pistol

What? I do bring good newes.

Falst.

Carry master Scilens to bed: master Shallow, my lord Shalow, be what thou wilt, I am fortunes steward, get on thy boots, weel ride al night: ô sweet Pistol, away Bardolf, com Pistol, vtter more to me, and withall, deuise something to doe thy selfe good, boote, boote master Shallow, I know the yong

King is sicke for me: let vs take any mans horses, the lawes of England are at my commandement, blessed are they that haue bin my friends, and woe to my Lord chiefe Iustice.

Pist.

Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also: where is the life that late I led, say they, why here it is, welcome these pleasant dayes.

Host.

No, thou arrant knaue, I would to God that I might die, that I might haue thee hangd, thou hast drawn my shoulder out of ioynt.

Sincklo.

The Constables haue deliuered her ouer to mee, and shee shal haue whipping cheere I warrant her, there hath beene a man or two kild about her.

Whoore

Nut-hooke, Nut-hooke, you lie, come on, Ile tell thee what, thou damnd tripe visagde rascall, and the child I go with do miscarry, thou wert better thou hadst strook thy mother, thou paper-facde villaine.

Host.

O the Lord, that sir Iohn were come! I would make this a bloody day to some body: but I pray God the fruite of her wombe miscarry.

Sincklo.

If it doe, you shall haue a dozzen of cushions againe, you haue but eleuen nowe: come, I charge you both goe with mee, for the man is dead that you and Pistoll beat amongst you.

Whoore

Ile tell you what, you thin man in a censor, I will haue you as soundly swingde for this, you blewbottle rogue, you filthy famisht correctioner, if you be not swingde, Ile forsweare halfe kirtles.

Sinck.

Come, come, you shee-Knight-arrant, come.

Host.

O God, that right should thus ouercom might! wel, of sufferance comes ease.

Whoore

Come you rogue, come bring me to a iustice.

Host.

I come, you starude blood-hound.

Whoore

Goodman death, goodman bones.

Host.

Thou Atomy thou.

Whoore

Come you thinne thing, come you rascall.

Sinck.

Very well.

1

More rushes, more rushes.

2

The trumpets haue sounded twice.

3

Twill be two a clocke ere they come from the coronation, dispatch, dispatch.

Falst.

Stand heere by me maister Shallow, I will make the King doe you grace, I will leere vpon him as a comes by, and do but marke the countenaunce that he will giue me.

Pist.

God blesse thy lungs good Knight.

Falst.

Come heere Pistoll, stand behinde mee. O if I had had time to haue made new liueries: I woulde haue bestowed the thousand pound I borrowed of you, but tis no matter, this poore shew doth better, this doth inferre the zeale I had to see him.

Pist.

It doth so.

Falst.

It shewes my earnestnesse of affection.

Pist.

It doth so.

Falst.

My deuotion.

Pist.

It doth, it doth, it doth.

Fal.

As it were to ride day & night, and not to deliberate, not to remember, not to haue pacience to shift me.

Shal

It is best certain: but to stand stained with trauaile, and sweating with desire to see him, thinking of nothing els, putting all affaires else in obliuion, as if there were nothing els to bee done, but to see him.

Pist.

Tis semper idem, for, obsque hoc nihil est, tis in euery part.

Shal.

Tis so indeede.

Pist.

My Knight, I will inflame thy noble liuer, and make thee rage, thy Dol, and Helen of thy noble thoughts, is in base durance, and contagious prison, halde thither by most mechanical, and durtie hand: rowze vp reuenge from Ebon den, with

fell Alectoesnake, for Doll is in: Pistoll speakes nought but truth.

Falst.

I will deliuer her.

Pist.

There roared the sea, and trumpet Clangor sounds.

Falst.

God saue thy grace King Hall, my royall Hall.

Pist.

The heauens thee gard and keep, most royal impe of fame.

Falst.

God saue thee, my sweet boy.

King
My Lord chiefe iustice, speake to that vaine man.

Iust.
Haue you your wits? know you what tis you speake?

Falst.
My King, my Ioue, I speake to thee, my heart.

King
I know thee not old man, fall to thy praiers,
How ill white heires becomes a foole and iester,
I haue long dreampt of such a kind of man,
So surfet-sweld, so old, and so prophane:
But being awakt, I do despise my dreame,
Make lesse thy body (hence) and more thy grace,
Leaue gourmandizing, know the graue doth gape
For thee, thrice wider then for other men,
Reply not to me with a foole-borne iest,
Presume not that I am the thing I was,
For God doth know, so shall the world perceiue,
That I haue turnd away my former selfe,
So will I those that kept me company:
When thou dost heare I am as I haue bin,
Approch me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
Till then I banish thee on paine of death,
As I haue done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come neare our person by ten mile:
For competence of life, I wil allow you,
That lacke of meanes enforce you not to euills,
And as we heare you do reforme your selues,
We will according to your strengths and qualities,
Giue you aduauncement. Be it your charge, my lord,

To see performd the tenure of my word: set on.

Iohn

Master Shallow I ow you a thousand pound.

Shal.

Yea mary sir Iohn, which I beseech you to let me haue home with me.

Iohn

That can hardly be, master Shalow: do not you grieue at this, I shall be sent for in priuate to him, looke you, hee must seeme thus to the world: feare not your aduauncements, I will be the man yet that shal make you great.

Shal.

I cannot perceiue how, vnlesse you giue me your dublet, and stuffe me out with straw: I beseech you good sir Iohn let me haue fiue hundred of my thousand.

Iohn

Sir I will be as good as my worde, this that you heard was but a collour.

Shall.

A collor that I feare you will die in sir Iohn.

Iohn
Feare no colours, go with me to dinner:
Come lieftenant Pistol, come Bardolfe, Enter Iustice and prince Iohn
I shall be sent for soone at night.

Iustice
Go cary sir Iohn Falstalfe to the Fleet,
Take all his company along with him.

Fal.

My lord, my lord.

Iust.

I cannot now speake, I will heare you soone, take them away.

Pist.
Si fortuname tormenta spero contenta.

Iohn
I like this faire proceeding of the Kings,
He hath intent his wonted followers
Shall all be very well prouided for,
But all are banisht till their conuersations
Appeare more wise and modest to the worlde.

Iust.
And so they are.

Iohn
The King hath cald his parlament my lord.

Iust.
He hath.

Iohn
I wil lay ods, that ere this yeere expire,
We beare our ciuil swords and natiue fier,
As farre as France, I heard a bird so sing,
Whose musique, to my thinking, pleasde the King:
Come, will you hence?

Epilogue.

First my feare then my cursie, last my speech. My feare, is your displeasure, my cursy, my duty, & my speech, to beg your pardons: if you looke for a good speech now, you vndo me, for what I haue to say is of mine owne making, and what indeed (I should say) wil (I doubt) proue mine own marring: but to the purpose and so to the venture. Be it knowne to you, as it is very well, I was lately here in the end of a displeasing play, to pray your patience for it, and to promise you a better: I meant indeed to pay you with this, which if like an il venture it come vnluckily home, I breake, and you my gentle creditors loose, here I promisde you I would be, and here I commit my body to your mercies, bate me some, and I will pay you some, and (as most debtors do) promise you infinitely: and so I kneele downe before you; but indeed, to pray for the Queene.

If my tongue cannot intreate you to acquit mee, will you commaund me to vse my legges? And yet that were but light payment, to daunce out of your debt, but a good conscience will make any possible satisfaction, and so woulde I: all the Gentlewomen heere haue forgiuen me, if the Gentlemen will not, then the Gentlemen doe not agree with the Gentlewomen, which was neuer seene in such an assemblie.

One word more I beseech you, if you bee not too much cloyd with fatte meate, our humble Author will continue the storie, with sir Iohn in it, and make you merry with faire Katharine of Fraunce, where (for any thing I knowe) Falstaffe shall die of a sweat, vnlesse already a be killd with your harde opinions; for Olde-castle died Martyre, and this is not the man: my tongue is weary, when my legges are too, I wil bid you, good night.