Fal.

So, master 'pothecary, thou art a man of merit, I see. Thou art sought after.—How many patients hast thou dispatch'd to day?

Apo.

Not many, Sir John, I visited your friend Pistol early, and flatter myself he is in a fair way.

Fal.

Bardolph tells me he is in a bad one: fair and good I have heard; but fair and bad never. But pray what are his complaints master doctor? I know something of physick.

Apo.

Why, Sir John, the cutis of the occiput is dilacerated; there are tumors all over the corpus; the patient has a delirium, a vertigo, and besides the febrile symptoms indicate phlebotomy.

Fal.

Phlebotomy! what, bleeding?

Apo.

A little, Sir John—we will only take from him sixteen ounces.

Fal.

Sixteen ounces! hast thou a design upon his life? What, a plague, wouldst thou kill him? He doth not weigh four pounds averdupoize, flesh, bones, and all; and thou wouldst take him away by quarterns in a slop-bason.

Apo.

I hope, Sir John, you will not go about to instruct me in the pathology, the therapeutice, the indications and contra-indications. The patient must be bled.

Fal.

Bleed sick apes and hyp'd monkeys. I tell thee my ancient shall die a natural death. Thinkest thou I will have his veins drain'd to fill a row of porringers in a barber's shop-window? Use bits of red cloth and be damn'd; ye shall have the blood of no follower of mine. Sixteen ounces! I tell thee not Galen, Hippocrates, nor Esculapius himself, were they alive, should thus operate upon him. Phlebotomy! I will phlebotomize ye all with my rapier, by the Lord, if you offer to draw a lancet on him.

Apo.

Well, well, Sir John, we will take less; but some his case absolutely requires: and in fact, Sir John, if you yourself, being of such a phlethorick habit, would lose a little blood, it would not be amiss.

Fal.

Me! I thank thee. In the blood is the life of the creature, and I will not consent to part with mine.

Apo.

It were better also, Sir John, you drank a little more water in your wine.

Fal.

More water! I drink none.

Apo.

So much the worse, Sir John, better you did.

Fal.

And wouldst thou persuade me, with thy contra-indications, that water is better than wine?

Apo.

For some constitutions, and in some cases, yes, Sir John.

Fal.

For thine perhaps: but mine thanks thee for thy water. Wine is good enough for me.

Apo.

You will not take my advice, Sir John, and so good day to ye.

Fal.

Good day to you master, doctor, 'pothecary.