SONG,—Leontes and Chorus. AIR, “Come landlord fill the flowing bowl.”
Come, slaveys, fill yon classic vase,
  Until it does run over,
For your monarch means to be
  The opposite of sober. Chorus.
For our monarch means to be, &c. (at the end of chorus, Polixenes rises, and shakes hands with Leontes.

Leon.
Don't go, old fellow. Have another—do.

Polix.
Not a drop more—I must be off.

Leon.
Pooh! pooh!
Sit down, I tell you. What's your hurry, eh?

Polix.
Why, the fact is, I've been so long away—
My subjects may complain.

Leon.
Oh! hang the grumblers!
Sit down. (pushes him down.)

Polix.
But really!

Leon.
Nonsense. Ho! Clean tumblers.

Polix. (rising.)
You must excuse me. State affairs demand—

Leon.
The sugar! (Attendant brings it.)

Polix.
Who knows? I may find my land
Convulsed with civil wars—with strife and slaughter,
All through my absence, getting in—

Leon. (to Attendants.)
Hot water!

Polix.
How would my conduct then seem?

Leon. (to Attendants.)
Rum!

Polix.
And I
Should be pronounced—

Leon. (to Attendants.)
A spoon!

Polix.
Just so. Good bye. (going.

Leon. (rises.)
Come, just taste this! I wish you'd stop—you'd better—

Polix.
Nine months already have we been a debtor
To your kind hospitality. I know you
Don't grudge it—but consider what we owe you:
Myself, my suite, my courtiers and dependants,
Three quarters' board and lodging, with attendance—
Washing and firing extra—need I go on
To items such as boot-cleaning, and so on?

Leon.
Why speak of this?

Polix.
Then have you taken me,
Daily, your city's wondrous sights to see.
I've viewed your public squares and fountains—

Leon.
What?
The square and fountains? Oh! I hope you've not.

Polix.
The noble stream that flows your city through
I've seen—

Leon.
And, I'll be sworn, have smelt it too.

Polix.
Your statues, of the heroes you hold dearest,
Some of the finest—

Leon.
And some of the queerest.

Polix.
I've viewed your parks—your palaces, each one of them—
And your new senate houses—

Leon.
All that's done of them.
I fear, my friend, few men in being now
Will live to see them finished anyhow.

Polix.
But of all sights I've seen, the one most glorious
Was the return of your brave troops victorious
From well-fought battle fields. When, thro' their ranks
Their sov'reign passed, bestowing well won thanks,
Scarce a dry eye was there in all the crowd.

Leon.
You're right—of that sight we may well feel proud.

Polix. (shaking hands.)
But now, once more, good bye.

Leon.
Will nothing stay you?

Polix.
Nothing.

Leon.
But till to-morrow.

Polix. (going R.)
Can't.

Leon.
I pray you. Enter Hermione and Ladies, L.

Her.
What's this I hear? You've bid your servants pack
Your bag, as if we'd given you the sack.
Nay, I am sure your Majesty but jokes—
You only talk of starting, for the hoax.

Polix.
Start for the Oaks? Not so; my heart it grieves,
Speaking of trees, that we must take our leaves,
And trunks, and make our bows. To follow suit
With these vile puns, we should be now en route.

Her.
You really mean it then? This conduct's fine—
Taking your leave without first asking mine.
Suppose I bid you stop.

Leon. (L. H.)
'Twould be in vain.
It's quite impossible he can remain.
He told me so just now—he can't deny it.

Her.
Can't I prevail on you?

Leon.
Suppose you try it.

SONG,—Hermione.—Air. “Il segreto.”
Sir, let us be happy together,
  For a week or two longer I pray;
Just ask yourself candidly whether
  You can't contrive somehow to stay.
Royal visits just now, we've so few, sir,
  We can't let your Majesty go,
Let us hope then that you, sir,
Will stay a bit, do, sir,
  If but for a fortnight or so.
    Why go away?
    Stay, sir, I pray,
  And let us be happy together &c.

Polix. (taking her hand.)
I ne'er could disoblige a lady.

Leon.
What?
Then you won't go?

Polix.
No.

Her.
There—I knew you'd not.

Polix.
When a fair lady bids—

Leon. (aside.)
I like not that? Polixenes kisses her hand.
Under my very nose! I smell a rat!

Her.
How could you think of going? Don't you know
There's the regatta and the flower show
You promised us to visit—eh, my lord?

Leon.
The boat race! true—(aside.)—I'll pitch him overboard.

Her.
Then you forget to-morrow.

Polix.
Not at all.

Her.
Our grand review.

Leon. (aside.)
The troops shall load with ball.

Her.
And I've arranged a pic-nic for next week.

Leon. (aloud.)
May it rain cats, dogs, pitchforks—

Her.
Did you speak?

Leon.
Not I.

Polix.
Your majesty seems moved.

Leon.
Oh, no.

Her.
'Tis but a head ache: he is often so
After his grog. Here, let me bind it—It'll
Be well again—

Leon.
Your napkin is too little. (throwing handkerchief away à la Othello

Polix.
That's rude. (crosses to L. H.)

Her.
Don't mind him. Come out in the air—
'Twill do you good.

Leon. (R. H.)
Go you—I'll join you there.

Her.
Come, he'll be better soon—feel no alarm. (Music.—Exeunt Hermione and Polixenes, L., followed by Nobles, Courtiers, Guards, &c.

Leon. (watching them.)
See! see! by heavens, they're walking arm-in-arm!
Passing the door he stops now to give place to her;
And when she speaks, by Jove! he turns his face to her.

What more proof's wanted? Now, he speaks, I think
She nods! That nod's as good as any wink. Enter Camillo, L.
How now—your news? Camillo, in one word,
What says our court of this?

Cam.
My liege, I've heard—

Leon.
What have you heard? Don't keep me in suspense.

Cam.
The king stops here to-night.

Leon.
And when goes hence?

Cam.
That I know not; but my informant says—
Most likely 'twill be—one of these fine days.

Leon.
Oh, never shall the sun that fine day see.
We made him welcome—he's himself made free.
I bid him come to court; but on my life
I little thought he'd come to court my wife.

Cam.
My liege, you have your royal lady wronged.

Leon.
Listen, Camillo! I would have prolonged
His stay—tried every argument I knew,
Brewed him some punch—you know how I can brew?
He scorned it.

Cam.
That looks bad.

Leon.
But at her bidding
He stays.

Cam.
The deuce!

Leon.
You must find means of ridding
Me of his presence.

Cam.
I?

Leon.
You are, I think,
Our cupbearer.

Cam.
I am.

Leon.
Then drug his drink.
Start not—'tis daily done throughout our nation.

Cam.
What, pois'ning?

Leon.
Well, it's called adulteration.
All I ask is you'll mix our royal brother
A glass so strong he'll never want another.
Then name your own reward—fail, and you'll rue it.

Cam.
Obedience seems to pay the best—I'll do it.

Leon.
Thanks, thanks, my friend. You've made my heart so light.
To-morrow then at breakfast, eh?

Cam.
All right! Exit Leontes, L.
This ugly deed a handsome price must hook in,
Which makes the ugly deed much better lookin';
For who to such an act could reconcile
His conscience—if 'twere not made worth his while?
'Tis the reward makes me in guilt thus bold:
Who cares for gilt when he can get real gold?
But see—my victim! Hah! a thought—suppose
I were to tell him—all the plot disclose,
Which would pay best? Enter Polixenes, L.—crosses to R.

Polix.
What ails the king, I wonder?
He passed me now with brow as black as thunder.
What's happened? Here, you what's a name—you flunkey—
What's up—besides your royal master's monkey?

Cam.
One or two questions first, sire, do not think 'em
Impertinent. But what's your average income?

Polix. (aside.)
I see his drift—this questioning implies
An income tax commissioner in disguise.
I must be cautious. (aloud.) Well, it's far from large.

Cam.
Then will I conscientiously discharge
My duty.

Polix.
Stay—explain.

Cam.
You can't afford it.
I'm sorry for you, but—

Polix.
Speak! I'll reward it
Beyond your wildest hopes.

Cam.
But can you? will you?

Polix.
I will—I can—

Cam.
Now were I paid to kill you!

Polix.
To kill me? (starting.)

Cam.
We'll suppose the case. Consider
You see me going to the highest bidder,
One says “I'll give you so much for your trouble,
If you will do it,” what would you say.

Polix.
Double!

Cam.
You would?

Polix.
I would.

Cam.
And pay it.

Polix.
Honour bright!

Cam.
Take my advice, then; let's be off to-night.

Polix.
What mean you?

Cam.
I'll explain some other time.
Happy the conscience that is free from crime! Exeunt, R. Enter Time, R. U. E.

Time.
Time's needed now for them on board to get. Enter Leontes, Antigonus, and Lords

Leon.
Camillo gone!

Time.
Stop! You don't know it yet.

Leon.
I beg your pardon.

Time.
Time must first elapse,
But there's no reasoning with these jealous chaps,
So I must leave to your imagination
The time required for their safe embarkation.
Suppose them nearing, now, with favouring breeze,
Bohemia—or Bithynia—which you please. (to Leontes.)
Now then, your Majesty, you may go on. Exit R.

Leon.
Then as I said before—Camillo gone!
Oh! traitor! villain! False disloyal slave!
Polixenes gone too, oh, coward, knave!
Oh! misery, despair! oh, everything
That's disagreeable!

Anti.
Nay, be calm great king.

Leon.
Go, bid the waves be calm when tempests roar.
Bid ratepayers be calm when at the door
The poor rate calls. Bid those by rail who travel
Be calm when Bradshaw's mysteries they'd unravel.
Bid studious men be calm when 'neath their windies
An organ boy kicks up his fearful shindies.
Bid any one you please be calm—But don't
Bid me—

Anti.
Well then, your Majesty, we won't.

Leon.
Call the queen hither.

Enter Hermione, Paulina (with a baby), and ladies, L.

Her.
At your wish behold me.

Leon.
You're a nice woman, you are—

Her.
So you told me.
When first you sought my hand, though then I own
You said it in a somewhat different tone.
What ails my lord?

Leon.
I'm not your lord.

Paul.
Halloa!

Her.
What have I done?

Leon.
As if you didn't know,

Her.
No, on my honour.

Leon.
Oh, your phrases spare,
Your honour, ma'am, is neither here nor there.

Her.
Is it my husband 'gainst my honour cries out?

Paul.
Were it my husband, I would tear his eyes out
Antigonus, what means your master's whim?
Here—hold the baby, I'll just talk to him.

Leon.
Silence that dreadful belle—

Paul.
I'd like to see
The man amongst you that would silence me.

Her.
Nay, for my sake! But husband, will you not
Say what I've done?

Leon.
You have deceived me.

Her.
What?

SONG,—Leontes. Air, “I've kissed and I've prattled with fifty fair maids.
You've kissed and you've prattled with Mr. Polixenes,
  Out of my power is he,
Camillo's gone too, who should now be a mixin' his
  Majesty's morning Bohea.
But tho' they have escaped me, think not I am blind
  To your falsehood and treachery;
I'm nought of the kind, to your cost you shall find,
  So take that for your perfidy. (He strikes her.—Tableau.

Her.
This public outrage—

Paul.
Coward! Don't you know, man,
The man who lays his hand upon a woman—

Save in the way of kindness, is—in fact,
Liable to six months, by the new act.

Her.
Cruel Leontes—Oh, I faint. (she faints in the arms of her Ladies.

Leon.
Pooh! pooh!

Her.
I die!

Leon.
About the best thing you could do.

Paul.
Monster! you've killed her—she was truer—fairer—

Leon.
Peace! bear her hence—for my part, I can't bear her. Music.—Exeunt Paulina and Ladies supporting Hermione—Lords hang their heads down weeping.

Leon.
Now then, I say, what's all this melancholy?
Traitors! I bid you instantly be jolly.
Weeping for her, you censure me, so come,
Laugh, I command you—he who dares look glum,
Or pipes his eye shall die—who'er it may be. (the Child cries.
Who's crying now?

Anti.
Please, sir, it's only baby.

Leon.
Off with her head!

Anti.
Nay, pardon, sire, I beg,
She's cutting such a great big toosey peg.
Children are always cross when teething.

Leon.
Pshaw!
What care I for her teeth, or for your jaw?
Away with her, she is too like her mother.

Anti.
What shall I do with her?

Leon.
Do! hang her, smother,
Roast, boil, or bake her.

Anti.
But—

Leon.
No buts, no sort o'but,
I'll listen to—yes, there's one sort, the water-butt,
Go!

Anti.
Sire, the fearful task on me you've thrown.

Leon.
Say you will do it, or leave it alone.

Anti.
If I might choose—the latter.

Leon.
Be it so!
Leave it alone—I mean the baby, though—
In some wild desert—in some distant clime,

Where wild beasts mostly walk at feeding time. (Antigonus is about to speak.
No words! obey me, if you prize your head.
That matter's settled—so I'll go to bed. Music.—Exeunt Leontes, Nobles, &c., L. Antigonus with Baby, R.

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