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William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
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Scene III. [Footnote: The Grecian camp. note Before the tent of Achilles. note Enter Thersites, solus.

Ther.

How now note, Thersites! what, lost in the labyrinth of thy fury! Shall the elephant Ajax carry it thus? he beats me, and I rail at him: O, worthy satisfaction! would it were otherwise; that I could beat him, whilst he railed at me. 'Sfoot, I'll learn to conjure and raise devils, but I'll see some issue of my spiteful execrations. Then there's Achilles, a rare enginer note. If Troy be not taken till these two undermine it, the walls will stand till they fall of themselves. O thou great thunder-darter of Olympus, forget that thou art Jove, the king of gods, and, Mercury, lose all the serpentine craft of thy caduceus, if ye note take not that

-- 169 --

little little less than little wit from them that they have! which short-armed note ignorance itself knows is so abundant scarce, it will not in circumvention deliver a fly from a spider, without drawing their note massy irons note and cutting the web. After this, the vengeance on the whole camp! or, rather, the Neapolitan note bone-ache! for that, methinks, is the curse dependant note on those that war for a placket. I have said my prayers; and devil Envy say amen. What, ho! my Lord Achilles!

Enter Patroclus note.

Patr. note

Who's there? Thersites! Good Thersites, come in and rail.

Ther.

If I could ha' note remembered a gilt counterfeit note, thou wouldst note not have slipped out of my contemplation: but it is no matter; thyself upon thyself! The common curse of mankind, folly and ignorance, be thine in great revenue! heaven bless thee from a tutor, and discipline come not near thee! Let thy blood be thy direction till thy death! then if she that lays thee out says thou art note a fair corse, I'll be sworn and sworn upon't she never shrouded any but lazars. Amen. note Where's Achilles?

Patr.

What, art thou devout? wast thou in prayer note?

Ther.

Ay; the heavens hear me!

Patr.

Amen. note

Enter Achilles.

Achil.

Who's there?

Patr.

Thersites, my lord.

-- 170 --

Achil.

Where, where? note Art thou come? why, my cheese, my digestion, why hast thou not served thyself in to note my table so many meals? Come, what's Agamemnon?

Ther.

Thy commander, Achilles: then tell me, Patroclus, what's Achilles?

Patr.

Thy lord, Thersites: then tell me, I pray thee, what's thyself note?

Ther.

Thy knower, Patroclus: then tell me, Patroclus, what art thou?

Patr.

Thou mayst note tell that knowest.

Achil.

O, tell, tell.

Ther.

I'll decline the whole question. Agamemnon commands Achilles; Achilles is my lord; I am Patroclus' knower, and Patroclus is a fool.

Patr.

You rascal!

Ther.

Peace, fool! I have not done.

Achil.

He is a privileged man. Proceed, Thersites.

Ther.

Agamemnon is a fool; Achilles is a fool; Thersites is a fool, and, as aforesaid, Patroclus is a fool. note

Achil.

Derive this; come.

Ther.

Agamemnon is a fool to offer to command Achilles; Achilles is a fool to be commanded of Agamemnon note; Thersites is a fool to serve such a fool, and Patroclus note is a fool positive.

Patr.

Why am I a fool?

Ther.

Make that demand of the prover note. It suffices noteme thou art. Look you, who comes here?

Achil.

Patroclus note, I'll speak with nobody. Come in with me, Thersites.

[Exit. note

Ther.

Here is such patchery, such juggling and such

-- 171 --

knavery! all the argument is a cuckold and a whore note; a good quarrel to draw emulous note factions and bleed to death upon. Now, the dry serpigo note on the subject! and war and lechery confound all! note

[Exit. note Enter Agamemnon, Ulysses, Nestor, Diomedes, and Ajax. note

Agam.
Where is Achilles?

Patr.
Within his tent; but ill-disposed, my lord.

Agam.
Let it be known to him that we are here.
He shent our note messengers; and we lay by
Our appertainments note, visiting of him:
Let him be told so, lest note perchance he think
We dare not move the question of our place,
Or know not what we are.

Patr.
I shall say so note to him.
[Exit. note

Ulyss.
We saw him at the opening of his tent:
He is not sick.

Ajax.

Yes, lion-sick, sick of proud note heart: you may call it melancholy, if you will note favour the man; but, by my head, 'tis pride: but why, why? let him show us the cause note. A word, my lord. note

[Takes note Agamemnon aside.

Nest.

What moves Ajax thus to bay at him?

Ulyss.

Achilles hath inveigled his fool from him.

-- 172 --

Nest.

Who, Thersites?

Ulyss.

He.

Nest.

Then will Ajax lack matter, if he have lost his argument.

Ulyss.

No, you see, he is his argument that has his argument, Achilles.

Nest.

All the better; their note fraction is more our wish than their faction: but it was a strong composure note a fool could disunite.

Ulyss.

The amity that wisdom knits not, note folly may easily untie.

Re-enter note Patroclus. note

Here comes Patroclus.

Nest.

No Achilles with him. note

Ulyss.

The elephant hath joints, but none for courtesy: his legs are note legs for necessity, not for flexure note note.

Patr.
Achilles bids me say, he is much sorry,
If any thing more than your sport and pleasure
Did move your greatness and this noble state
To call upon note him; he hopes it is no other
But for your health and your digestion sake,
An after-dinner's breath note.

Agam.
Hear note you, Patroclus:
We are too well acquainted with these answers:
But his evasion, wing'd note thus swift with scorn,
Cannot outfly our apprehensions.
Much attribute he hath, and much the reason
Why we ascribe it to him: yet all note his virtues,
Not virtuously on note his own part beheld note,

-- 173 --


Do in our eyes begin to lose their gloss,
Yea, note like fair fruit in an unwholesome note dish,
Are like to rot untasted. Go and tell him,
We come note to speak with him; and note you shall not sin,
If you do say we think him over-proud
And under-honest; in self-assumption greater
Than in the note note of judgement; and worthier note note than himself
Here tend note the savage strangeness he puts on,
Disguise the note holy strength of their command,
And underwrite note in an observing kind
His humorous predominance; yea, watch
His pettish lunes note, his ebbs, his flows note, as if note
The passage and whole carriage of this action note
Rode on his tide. Go tell him this, and add,
That if he overhold his price so much,
We'll none of him, but let him, like an engine
Not portable, lie under this report:
‘Bring action hither, this cannot note go to war:
A stirring dwarf we do allowance give
Before a sleeping giant:’ tell him so. note

Patr.
I shall; and bring his answer presently.
[Exit. note

Agam.
In second voice we'll not be satisfied;
We come to speak with him. Ulysses, enter you note.
[Exit Ulysses. note

-- 174 --

Ajax.
What is he more than another?

Agam.
No more than what he thinks he is.

Ajax.

Is he so much? Do you not think he thinks himself a better man than I am?

Agam.

No question.

Ajax.

Will you subscribe his thought and say he is?

Agam.

No, noble Ajax; you are as strong, as valiant, as wise note, no less noble, much more gentle and altogether more tractable.

Ajax.

Why should a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what pride is note.

Agam.

Your mind is note the clearer note, Ajax note, and your virtues the fairer. He that is note proud eats up himself: pride is his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle; and whatever note praises itself but in the note deed, devours the deed in the praise.

note

Ajax.

I do hate a proud man, as I hate note the engendering of toads.

Nest. [Aside note]
Yet note he loves himself: is't note not strange?
Re-enter Ulysses. note

Ulyss.
Achilles will not to the field to-morrow.

Agam.
What's his excuse?

Ulyss.
He doth rely on none,
But carries on the stream of his dispose
Without observance or respect of any,
In will peculiar note and in self-admission.

Agam.
Why will he not, upon our fair request,
Untent his person, and share the air with us?

Ulyss.
Things small as nothing, for request's note sake only

-- 175 --


He makes important: possess'd he is note with greatness,
And speaks not to himself but with a pride
That quarrels at self-breath: imagined worth note
Holds in his blood such swoln and hot discourse
That 'twixt his mental and his active parts
Kingdom'd Achilles in commotion rages
And batters down himself note: what should I say?
He is note so plaguy note proud that the death-tokens of it note
Cry ‘No recovery.’

Agam.
Let Ajax go to him.
Dear lord, go you and greet him in his tent:
'Tis said he holds you well, and will be led note
At your request a little from himself.

Ulyss.
O Agamemnon, let it not be so!
We'll consecrate the steps that Ajax makes
When they go from Achilles. Shall the proud lord
That bastes his arrogance with his own seam note
And never suffers matter of the world
Enter his thoughts, save such as do note revolve
And ruminate himself, shall he be worshipp'd
Of that we hold an idol more than he note?
No, this thrice worthy and right valiant lord
Must note not so stale note his palm, nobly acquired;
Nor, by my will, assubjugate his merit,
As amply titled note as Achilles is note,
By going to Achilles note: note
That were to enlard his fat-already pride note,
And add more coals to Cancer when he burns

-- 176 --


With entertaining great Hyperion.
This lord note go to him! Jupiter forbid,
And say in thunder ‘Achilles go to him.’

Nest. [Aside note]
O, this is well; he rubs the vein of him.

Dio. [Aside note]
And how his silence drinks up this note applause!

Ajax.
If I go to him, with my armed fist
I'll pash note him o'er the face note.

Agam.
O, no, you shall not go.

Ajax.
An a' note be proud with me, I'll pheeze note his pride:
Let me go to him note.

Ulyss.
Not for the worth that hangs upon our quarrel.

Ajax.

A paltry, insolent fellow!

Nest. [Aside note]

How he describes himself!

Ajax.

Can he not be sociable?

Ulyss. [Aside note]

The raven chides blackness.

Ajax.

I'll let note his humours note blood.

Agam. [Aside note]

He will be the note physician that should be the patient.

Ajax.

An note all men were o' note my mind,—

Ulyss. [Aside note]

Wit would be out of fashion.

Ajax.

A' should not bear it so, a' note should eat swords first: shall pride carry it?

Nest. [Aside note]

An 'twould note, you'ld carry half.

Ulyss. [Aside note]

A' would note have ten shares.

-- 177 --

Ajax.

I will knead him, I'll note make him supple.

Nest. [Aside note]

He's not yet through note warm: force note him with praises note: pour in, pour in note; his ambition is dry. note

Ulyss. [To Agamemnon note]
My lord note, you feed too much on this dislike.

Nest.
Our noble general, do not do so.

Dio.
You must prepare to fight without Achilles.

Ulyss.
Why, 'tis this naming of him does note him harm.
Here is a man—but 'tis before his face;
I will be silent note.

Nest.
Wherefore should you so?
He is not emulous, as Achilles is.

Ulyss.
Know the whole world, he is as valiant. note

Ajax.
A whoreson dog, that shall palter note thus with us note!
Would note he were a Trojan!

Nest.
What a vice were it in Ajax note now—

Ulyss. note
If he were proud,—

Dio.
Or covetous of praise,—

Ulyss.
Ay, or surly borne,—

Dio.
Or strange, or self-affected!

Ulyss.
Thank the heavens note, lord note, thou art of sweet composure;
Praise him that got note thee, she note that gave thee suck:
Famed note be thy tutor, and thy parts of nature
Thrice-famed beyond, beyond all note erudition:
But he that disciplined thine note arms to fight,

-- 178 --


Let Mars divide eternity in twain,
And give him half: and, for thy vigour note,
Bull-bearing Milo his addition yield
To sinewy Ajax. I will note not praise thy wisdom,
Which, like a bourn note, a pale, a shore, confines
Thy note spacious and dilated parts: here's Nestor,
Instructed by the antiquary note times,
He must, he is, he cannot but be wise;
But pardon, father Nestor, were your days
As green as Ajax' note, and you brain so temper'd,
You should not have the eminence of him,
But be note as Ajax.

Ajax.
Shall I call you father?

Nest. note
Ay, my good son.

Dio.
Be ruled by him, Lord Ajax.

Ulyss.
There is no tarrying here; the hart Achilles
Keeps thicket note. Please it our great note general
To call together all his note state of war:
Fresh kings are come to Troy note: to-morrow note
We must with all our main of power stand fast:
And here's a lord, come knights from east to west,
And cull note their flower, Ajax shall cope the best.

Agam.
Go we to council note. Let Achilles sleep:
Light boats sail note swift, though greater hulks note draw deep.
[Exeunt.

-- 179 --

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William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
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