Host.
Master ^note Fang, have you entered the action?

Fang. ^note
It is entered.

Host.

Where's your yeoman? Is't ^note a lusty ^note yeoman? will a' ^note stand to't ^note?

Fang.

Sirrah, where's Snare?

Host.

O Lord, ay! good ^note Master Snare ^note.

Snare.

Here, here.

Fang.

Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.

Host.

Yea ^note, good Master Snare; I have entered him and all.

Snare.

It may chance cost some of us our lives, for ^note he will stab.

Host.

Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed me in mine own house, and that most beastly: in good faith, ^note he cares not what mischief he does ^note, if his weapon be out: he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.

Fang.

If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.

Host.

No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow.

Fang.

An I ^note but fist him once; an a' ^note come but within my vice,— ^note

Host.

I am undone by ^note his going; I warrant you ^note, he's ^note an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him not 'scape. A' ^note comes continuantly ^note to Pie-corner—saving your manhoods—to buy a saddle; and he is indited to dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lumbert ^note street, to Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye, since my exion ^note is entered and my case so openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his answer. A hundred ^note mark is a long one ^note for a poor lone woman to bear: and I have borne, and borne, and borne; and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and fubbed off ^note, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass and a beast, to bear every knave's wrong. Yonder he comes; and that arrant malmsey-nose knave ^note, Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices: Master ^noteFang and Master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.

Enter ^note Falstaff, Page, and Bardolph.

Fal.

How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter?

Fang.

Sir John, ^note I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly ^note.

Fal.

Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the villain's head: throw the quean in the channel.

Host.

Throw me in the channel ^note! I'll throw thee in the channel. ^note Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly ^note rogue! Murder, murder! Ah, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou kill God's officers and the king's? Ah, ^note thou honey-seed rogue! thou art a honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.

Fal.

Keep them off, Bardolph.

Fang.

A rescue! a rescue!

Host.

Good people, bring a rescue or two. ^note Thou wo't, wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't ta? ^{note note} do, do, thou ^note rogue! do, thou hemp-seed!

Fal. ^note

Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian ^note! I'll tickle ^note your catastrophe.

Ch. Just.

What is ^note the matter? keep the peace here, ho!

Host.

Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you, stand to me.

Ch. Just.
How now, Sir John! what are ^note you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time and business?
You should have been well on your way to York.
Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang'st upon ^note him? ^note

Host.

O my most worshipful lord, an't please your grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.

Ch. Just.

For what sum?

Host.

It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all, all I have. ^note He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I will have some of it out again, or I will ride thee o' nights like the mare.

Fal.

I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage of ground to get up.

Ch. Just.

How comes this, Sir John? Fie! ^note what man ^note of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her own?

Fal.

What is the gross sum that I owe thee?

Host.

Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the money too. Thou didst swear to me upon ^note a parcel-gilt goblet, sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, by a sea-coal fire, upon ^note Wednesday in Wheeson ^note week, when the prince broke thy head for liking his father ^note to a singing-man of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly? coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had

a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat some; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not ^note, when she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so familiarity ^note with such poor people; saying that ere long they should call me madam? And didst thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? ^note I put thee now to thy book-oath: deny it, if thou canst.

Fal.

My lord, this is a poor mad ^note soul; and she says up and down the town that her eldest son is like you: she hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have redress against them.

Ch. Just.

Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such more than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a level consideration: you have, as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse and in person. ^note

Host.

Yea, in truth ^note, my lord.

Ch. Just.

Pray thee ^note, peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the villany you have done her ^note: the one you may do with sterling money, and the other with current repentance.

Fal.

My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness: if ^note a man will make ^note courtesy and say nothing, he is virtuous: no, my lord, my humble ^note duty remembered, I will not be your suitor. I say to you, I do desire ^note deliverance

from these officers, being upon hasty ^note employment in the king's affairs.

Ch. Just.

You speak as having power to do wrong: but answer in the effect of ^note your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.

Fal.

Come hither, hostess.

Ch. Just.

Now ^note, Master Gower, what news?

Gow.
The king, my lord, and Harry ^note Prince of Wales ^note
Are near at hand: the rest the paper ^note tells.

Fal.

As I am a gentleman.

Host.

Faith ^note, you said so before.

Fal.

As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words of it.

Host.

By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.

Fal.

Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal, or the German ^note hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand of these bed-hangings ^note and these fly-bitten tapestries ^note. Let it be ten pound ^note, if thou canst. Come, an 'twere ^note not for thy humours, there's ^note not a better wench in England. Go, wash thy face, and draw the action ^note. Come, thou must not be in this humour with me; dost not know me? come, ^note come, I know thou wast set on to this.

Host.

Pray thee ^note, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles: i' faith ^note, I am ^note loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la! ^note

Fal.

Let it alone; I'll make ^note other shift: you'll be a fool still.

Host.

Well, you shall have it, though ^note I pawn my gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me all together ^note?

Fal.

Will I live? [To Bardolph ^note] Go, with her, with her; hook on, hook on.

Host.

Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?

Fal.

No more words; let's have her.

Ch. Just.

I have heard better ^note news.

Fal.

What's the news, my lord ^note?

Ch. Just.

Where lay the king last night ^note?

Gow. ^note

At Basingstoke ^note, my lord.

Fal.

I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my lord?

Ch. Just.

Come all his forces back?

Gow. ^note
No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
Are march'd up to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop ^note.

Fal.
Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?

Ch. Just.
You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower. ^note

Fal.

My lord!

Ch. Just.

What's the matter?

Fal.

Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?

Gow.

I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank you, good Sir John.

Ch. Just.

Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to take soldiers up in counties ^note as you go ^note.

Fal.

Will you sup with me, Master Gower?

Ch. Just.

What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?

Fal.

Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.

Ch. Just.

Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great fool.