Bardolph.
Fal.
How now! whose mare's dead? what's the matter?
Fang.
Sir John, note I arrest you at the suit of Mistress
Quickly note.
Fal.
Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph: cut me off the
villain's head: throw the quean in the channel.
Host.
Throw me in the channel note! I'll throw thee in the
channel. note Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou bastardly note rogue!
Murder, murder! Ah, thou honey-suckle villain! wilt thou
kill God's officers and the king's? Ah, note thou honey-seed
rogue! thou art a honey-seed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
Fal.
Keep them off, Bardolph.
Fang.
A rescue! a rescue!
Host.
Good people, bring a rescue or two. note Thou wo't,
wo't thou? thou wo't, wo't ta? note note do, do, thou note rogue! do,
thou hemp-seed!
Fal. note
Away, you scullion! you rampallian! you fustilarian note!
I'll tickle note your catastrophe.
Enter the Lord Chief-Justice, and his men. note
note
Ch. Just.
What is note the matter? keep the peace here, ho!
Host.
Good my lord, be good to me. I beseech you,
stand to me.
-- 386 --
Ch. Just.
How now, Sir John! what are note you brawling here?
Doth this become your place, your time and business?
You should have been well on your way to York.
Stand from him, fellow: wherefore hang'st upon note him? note
Host.
O my most worshipful lord, an't please your
grace, I am a poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested
at my suit.
Ch. Just.
For what sum?
Host.
It is more than for some, my lord; it is for all,
all I have. note He hath eaten me out of house and home; he
hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his: but I
will have some of it out again, or I will ride thee o' nights
like the mare.
Fal.
I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have
any vantage of ground to get up.
Ch. Just.
How comes this, Sir John? Fie! note what man note
of good temper would endure this tempest of exclamation?
Are you not ashamed to enforce a poor widow to so rough
a course to come by her own?
Fal.
What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Host.
Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the
money too. Thou didst swear to me upon note a parcel-gilt goblet,
sitting in my Dolphin-chamber, at the round table, by
a sea-coal fire, upon note Wednesday in Wheeson note week, when
the prince broke thy head for liking his father note to a singing-man
of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was
washing thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy
wife. Canst thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the
butcher's wife, come in then and call me gossip Quickly?
coming in to borrow a mess of vinegar; telling us she had
-- 387 --
a good dish of prawns; whereby thou didst desire to eat
some; whereby I told thee they were ill for a green wound?
And didst thou not note, when she was gone down stairs, desire
me to be no more so familiarity note with such poor people;
saying that ere long they should call me madam? And didst
thou not kiss me and bid me fetch thee thirty shillings? note I
put thee now to thy book-oath: deny it, if thou canst.
Fal.
My lord, this is a poor mad note soul; and she says
up and down the town that her eldest son is like you: she
hath been in good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted
her. But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I
may have redress against them.
Ch. Just.
Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted
with your manner of wrenching the true cause the false
way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of words
that come with such more than impudent sauciness from
you, can thrust me from a level consideration: you have,
as it appears to me, practised upon the easy-yielding spirit
of this woman, and made her serve your uses both in purse
and in person. note
Host.
Yea, in truth note, my lord.
Ch. Just.
Pray thee note, peace. Pay her the debt you owe
her, and unpay the villany you have done her note: the one
you may do with sterling money, and the other with current
repentance.
Fal.
My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without
reply. You call honourable boldness impudent sauciness:
if note a man will make note courtesy and say nothing, he is virtuous:
no, my lord, my humble note duty remembered, I will
not be your suitor. I say to you, I do desire note deliverance
-- 388 --
from these officers, being upon hasty note employment in the
king's affairs.
Ch. Just.
You speak as having power to do wrong:
but answer in the effect of note your reputation, and satisfy the
poor woman.
note
Fal.
Come hither, hostess.
Enter Gower. note
note
Ch. Just.
Now note, Master Gower, what news?
Gow.
The king, my lord, and Harry note Prince of Wales
note
Are near at hand: the rest the paper note tells.
Fal.
As I am a gentleman.
Host.
Faith note, you said so before.
Fal.
As I am a gentleman. Come, no more words
of it.
Host.
By this heavenly ground I tread on, I must be
fain to pawn both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
Fal.
Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking: and for thy
walls, a pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal,
or the German note hunting in water-work, is worth a thousand
of these bed-hangings note and these fly-bitten tapestries note. Let
it be ten pound note, if thou canst. Come, an 'twere note not for
thy humours, there's note not a better wench in England. Go,
wash thy face, and draw the action note. Come, thou must not
be in this humour with me; dost not know me? come, note
come, I know thou wast set on to this.
-- 389 --
Host.
Pray thee note, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles:
i' faith note, I am note loath to pawn my plate, so God save me, la! note
Fal.
Let it alone; I'll make note other shift: you'll be a
fool still.
Host.
Well, you shall have it, though note I pawn my
gown. I hope you'll come to supper. You'll pay me
all together note?
Fal.
Will I live? [To Bardolph note] Go, with her, with
her; hook on, hook on.
Host.
Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at
supper?
Fal.
No more words; let's have her.
[Exeunt note Hostess, Bardolph, Officers, and Boy.
Ch. Just.
I have heard better note news.
Fal.
What's the news, my lord note?
Ch. Just.
Where lay the king last night note?
Gow. note
At Basingstoke note, my lord.
Fal.
I hope, my lord, all's well: what is the news, my
lord?
Ch. Just.
Come all his forces back?
Gow. note
No; fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
Are march'd up to my lord of Lancaster,
Against Northumberland and the Archbishop note.
Fal.
Comes the king back from Wales, my noble lord?
Ch. Just.
You shall have letters of me presently:
Come, go along with me, good Master Gower.
note
Fal.
My lord!
-- 390 --
Ch. Just.
What's the matter?
note
Fal.
Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to
dinner?
Gow.
I must wait upon my good lord here; I thank
you, good Sir John.
Ch. Just.
Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you
are to take soldiers up in counties note as you go note.
Fal.
Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
Ch. Just.
What foolish master taught you these manners,
Sir John?
Fal.
Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a
fool that taught them me. This is the right fencing grace,
my lord; tap for tap, and so part fair.
Ch. Just.
Now the Lord lighten thee! thou art a great
fool.
[Exeunt. note
note
Scene II. [Footnote:
London note. Another street.
Enter Prince Henry note and Poins.
Prince.
Before God note, I am exceeding weary.
Poins.
Is't note come to that? I had thought weariness
durst not have attached one of so high blood.
Prince.
Faith, it does note me; though it discolours the
complexion of my greatness to acknowledge it. Doth it
not show vilely in me to desire small beer?
Poins.
Why, a prince should not be so loosely studied
as to remember so weak a composition.
Prince.
Belike then my appetite was not princely got;
-- 391 --
for, by my note troth, I do now remember the poor creature,
small beer. But, indeed, these humble considerations make
me out of love with my greatness. What a disgrace is it
to me to remember thy name! or to know thy face tomorrow!
or to take note note how many pair of silk stockings
thou hast, viz. these note, and those that were thy note peach-coloured
ones note! or to bear the inventory of thy shirts, as, one for
superfluity, and another note for use! But that the tennis-court-keeper
knows better than I; for it is a low ebb of linen with
thee when thou keepest note not racket there; as thou hast not
done a great while, because the rest of thy note low countries
have made a shift to note eat up thy holland: and God knows,
whether those that bawl out note the ruins of thy linen shall
inherit his kingdom: but the midwives say the children
are not in the fault; whereupon the world increases, and
kindreds are mightily strengthened note.
Poins.
How ill it follows, after you have laboured so
hard, you should talk so idly! Tell me, how many good
young princes would note do so, their fathers being note so sick as
yours at this time note is?
Prince.
Shall I tell thee one thing, Poins?
Poins.
Yes, faith note; and let it be an excellent good thing.
Prince.
It shall serve among wits of no higher breeding
than thine.
Poins.
Go to; I stand the push of your one thing that
you will note tell.
Prince.
Marry note, I tell thee, it is not meet that I should
be sad, now my father is sick: albeit I could tell to thee, as
-- 392 --
to one it pleases me, for fault of a better, to call my friend,
I could be sad, and sad indeed too.
Poins.
Very hardly upon such a subject.
Prince.
By this hand note, thou thinkest me as far in the
devil's book as thou and Falstaff for obduracy and persistency:
let the end try the man. But I tell thee, my heart
bleeds inwardly that my father is so sick note: and keeping such
vile company as thou art hath in reason taken from me all
ostentation of sorrow.
Poins.
The reason? note
Prince.
What wouldst thou think of me, if I should
weep?
Poins.
I would think thee a most princely hypocrite.
Prince.
It would be every man's thought; and thou art
a blessed fellow to think as every man thinks: never a man's
thought in the world keeps the road-way better than thine:
every man would think me an hypocrite indeed. And what
accites note your most worshipful thought to think so?
Poins.
Why, because you have been note so lewd, and so
much engraffed to Falstaff.
Prince.
And to thee.
Poins.
By this light note, I am well spoke on note; I can hear it
with mine own ears: the worst that note they can say of me is
that I am a second brother, and that I am a proper fellow
of my hands; and those two things, I confess, I cannot
help. By the mass note, here comes Bardolph.
Enter note Bardolph and Page.
Prince.
And the boy that I gave Falstaff: a' note had him
-- 393 --
from me Christian; and look note, if the fat villain have not
transformed him ape.
note
Bard.
God save note your grace!
Prince.
And yours, most noble Bardolph!
Bard. note
note
Come, you virtuous note ass, you bashful fool, must
you be blushing? wherefore blush you now? What a
maidenly man-at-arms are you become! Is't note such a matter
to get a pottle-pot's maidenhead?
Page.
A' calls me e'en now note, my lord, through a red
lattice, and I could discern no part of his face from the
window: at last I spied his eyes; and methought he had
made two holes in the ale-wife's new note petticoat and so note
peeped through.
Prince.
Has note not the boy profited?
Bard.
Away note, you whoreson upright rabbit note, away!
Page.
Away, you rascally Althæa's dream, away!
Prince.
Instruct us, boy; what dream, boy?
Page.
Marry, my lord, Althæa note dreamed she was delivered
of a fire-brand; and therefore I call him her dream.
Prince.
A crown's worth of good interpretation: there
note'tis note, boy.
Poins.
O, that this good note blossom could be kept from
cankers! Well, there is sixpence to preserve thee.
Bard.
An note you do not make him hanged note among you,
the gallows shall have wrong note.
Prince.
And how doth thy master, Bardolph?
-- 394 --
Bard.
Well, my lord note. He heard of your grace's coming
to town: there's a letter for you.
Poins. note
Delivered with good respect. And how doth
the martlemas, your master?
Bard.
In bodily health, sir.
Poins.
Marry, the immortal part needs a physician; but
that moves not him: though that be sick, it dies not.
Prince.
I do allow this wen to be as familiar with me
as my dog; and he holds his place; for look you how note he
writes.
Poins. [Reads note]
‘John note Falstaff, knight,’—every man must
know that, as oft note as he has note occasion to name himself: even
like those that are kin to the king; for they never prick
their finger but they say, ‘There's note some of the king's blood
spilt.’ ‘How comes that?’ says he, that takes upon him
not to conceive. The answer is as ready as a borrower's
cap note, ‘I am the king's poor cousin, sir.’
Prince.
Nay, they will be kin to us, or note they will fetch
it from Japhet. But to note the letter:
Poins. [Reads note]
‘Sir John Falstaff, knight, to the son of the
king, nearest his father, Harry Prince of Wales, greeting.’ Why note,
this is a certificate.
Prince.
Peace!
Poins. [Reads]
‘I will imitate the honourable Romans in note brevity:’
he sure note means brevity in breath, short-winded. ‘I
commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leave note thee. Be not
too familiar with Poins; for he misuses thy favours so much, that he
-- 395 --
swears thou art to marry his sister Nell. Repent at idle times as thou
mayest; and so, farewell.
‘Thine, by yea and no, which is as much as to say, as
thou usest him, Jack Falstaff with my familiars note,
John with my brothers and sisters note, and Sir
John with all Europe.’
My lord, I'll note steep this letter in sack, and make him eat it.
Prince.
That's note to make him eat twenty note of his words.
But do you use me thus, Ned? must I marry your sister?
Poins.
God send the wench note no worse fortune! But I
never said so.
Prince.
Well, thus we play the fools note with the time;
and the spirits of the wise sit in the clouds and mock us.
Is your master here in London?
Bard.
Yea note, my lord.
Prince.
Where sups he? doth the old boar note feed in the
old frank?
Bard.
At the old place, my lord, in Eastcheap.
Prince.
What company?
Page.
Ephesians, my lord, of the old church.
Prince.
Sup any women with him?
Page.
None, my lord, but old Mistress Quickly and
Mistress Doll Tearsheet.
Prince.
What pagan may that be?
Page.
A proper gentlewoman, sir, and a kinswoman of
my master's.
Prince.
Even such kin as the parish heifers note are to the
town bull. Shall we steal upon them, Ned, at supper?
Poins.
I am your shadow, my lord; I'll follow you.
Prince.
Sirrah, you boy, and Bardolph, no word to
-- 396 --
your master that I am yet come to note town: there's for your
silence.
Bard.
I have no tongue, sir.
Page.
And for mine, sir, I will govern it.
Prince.
Fare you note well; go. [Exeunt note Bardolph and Page.]
This Doll Tearsheet note should be some road.
Poins.
I warrant you, as common as the way between
Saint Alban's and London.
Prince.
How might we see Falstaff bestow himself to-night
notein his true colours, and not ourselves be seen?
Poins.
Put on two leathern note jerkins and aprons, and
wait upon him at his table as note drawers.
Prince.
From a God to a bull? a heavy note descension note! it
was Jove's case. From a prince note to a prentice? a low
transformation note! that shall be mine; for in every thing the
purpose must weigh with the folly. Follow me, Ned.
[Exeunt.
note
Scene III. [Footnote:
Warkworth. Before note the castle.
Enter note Northumberland, Lady Northumberland, and Lady Percy.
North.
I pray thee note, loving wife, and gentle daughter,
Give even note way unto my rough affairs:
Put not you on the visage of the times,
And be like them to Percy troublesome.
-- 397 --
Lady N. note
I have given over, I will speak no more:
Do what you will; your wisdom be your guide.
North.
Alas, sweet wife, my honour is at pawn;
And, but my going, nothing can redeem it.
Lady P. note
O yet, for God's note sake, go not to these wars!
The time was, father, that note you broke your word,
When you were more endear'd note to it than now;
When your own Percy, when my heart's dear Harry note,
Threw many a northward look to see his father
Bring up his powers; but he did long note in vain.
Who then persuaded you to stay at home?
There were two honours lost, yours and your son's.
For yours, the God of heaven note brighten it!
For his, it stuck upon him as the sun
In the grey vault of heaven, and by his light
Did all the chivalry of England move
To do brave acts: he was indeed the glass
Wherein the noble youth did dress themselves:
He had no legs that practised not his gait;
And speaking thick, which nature made his blemish,
Became the accents of the valiant;
For those that could speak low note and tardily
Would turn their own perfection to abuse,
To seem like him: so that in speech, in gait,
In diet, in affections of delight,
In military rules, humours of blood,
He was the mark and glass, copy and book,
That fashion'd others. And him, O wondrous him! note
O miracle of men! him did you leave,
Second to none, unseconded by you note,
To look upon the hideous god of war
-- 398 --
In disadvantage; to abide a field note
Where nothing but the sound of Hotspur's name
Did seem defensible note: so you left him.
Never, O never, do his ghost the wrong
To hold your honour more precise and nice
With others than with him! let them alone:
The marshal and the archbishop are strong:
Had my sweet Harry had but half their numbers note,
To-day might I, hanging on Hotspur's neck,
Have talk'd of Monmouth's grave note.
North.
Beshrew your heart,
Fair daughter, you do draw my spirits from me
With new lamenting ancient oversights.
But I must go and meet with danger there,
Or it will seek me in another place
And find me worse provided.
Lady N. note
O, fly note to Scotland,
Till that the nobles and the armed commons
Have of their puissance made a little taste.
Lady P. note
If they get ground and vantage of the king,
Then join you with them, like a rib of steel,
To make strength stronger; but, for all our loves,
First let them try themselves. So did your son;
He was so suffer'd: so came I a widow;
And never shall have length of life enough
To rain upon remembrance with mine eyes,
That it may grow and sprout as high as heaven,
For recordation to my noble husband.
North.
Come, come, go in with me. 'Tis with my mind
As with the tide swell'd up unto his height,
That makes a still-stand note, running neither way:
Fain would I go to meet the archbishop,
But many thousand note reasons hold me back.
-- 399 --
I will resolve for Scotland: there am I,
Till time and vantage crave my company.
[Exeunt.
note
Scene IV. [Footnote:
London note. The Boar's-head Tavern in Eastcheap.
Enter two Drawers. note
First Draw. note
What the devil note hast thou brought there?
apple-johns? thou knowest Sir John cannot endure an
apple-john.
Sec. Draw. note
Mass note, thou sayest true. The prince once
set a dish of apple-johns before him, and told him there
were five more Sir Johns; and, putting off his hat, said ‘I
will now take my leave of these six dry, round, old, withered note
knights.’ It angered him to the heart: but he hath forgot
that.
First Draw.
Why, then, cover, and set them down: and
see if thou canst find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet
would fain hear note some music. Dispatch: the room where
they supped is too hot; they'll come in straight.
Sec. Draw.
Sirrah note, here will be the prince and Master
Poins anon; and they will put on two of our jerkins and
aprons; and Sir John must not know of it: Bardolph hath
notebrought word.
First Draw. note
By the mass note, here will be old utis note: it will
be an excellent stratagem.
-- 400 --
Sec. Draw. note
I'll see if I can find out Sneak.
[Exit.
Enter note Hostess and Doll Tearsheet.
note
Host.
I'faith note, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an
excellent good temperality: your pulsidge beats as extra-ordinarily
as heart would desire; and your colour, I warrant
you, is as red as any rose, in good truth, la! But, i'
faith note, you have drunk too much canaries note; and that's a
marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes the blood ere
one note can say ‘What's this? note’ How do you now?
Dol.
Better than I was: hem!
Host.
Why, that's note well said; a good heart's worth
gold. Lo note, here comes Sir John.
Enter Falstaff.
Fal. [Singing note]
‘When Arthur first in court’—Empty
the jordan. [Exit note First Drawer].—[Singing note] ‘And was a
worthy king.’ How now, Mistress Doll!
Host.
Sick of a calm; yea, good faith note.
Fal.
So is all her sect note; an note they be once in a calm, they
are sick.
Dol.
You note muddy rascal, is that all the comfort you
give me?
Fal.
You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.
Dol.
I make them! gluttony and diseases make them note;
I make them not.
Fal.
If the cook help to make note the gluttony, you help
-- 401 --
to make the diseases, Doll: we catch of you, Doll, we catch
of you; grant that, my poor note virtue, grant that.
Dol.
Yea, joy note, our chains and our jewels.
Fal.
‘Your brooches, pearls, and ouches:’ note for to serve
bravely is to come halting off, you know: to come off the
breach with his pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely;
to venture upon the charged chambers bravely,—
Dol.
Hang yourself, you muddy conger note, hang yourself note!
Host.
By my troth note, this is the old fashion; you two
never meet but you fall to some discord: you are both,
i' good truth note, as rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot
one bear with another's confirmities. What the good-year note!
one must bear, and that must be you: you are the weaker
vessel, as they say, the emptier vessel.
Dol.
Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full
hogshead? there's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux
stuff in him; you have not seen a hulk better stuffed in the
hold. Come, I'll be friends with thee, Jack: thou art going
to the wars; and whether I shall ever see thee again or no,
there is nobody cares note.
Re-enter First Drawer. note
note
First Draw. note
Sir, Ancient Pistol's note below, and would
speak with you.
Dol.
Hang him, swaggering rascal! let him not come
hither: it is the foul-mouthedst rogue in England.
Host.
If he swagger, let him not come here: no, by my
faith note; I must live among note my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers:
-- 402 --
I am in good name and fame with the very best:
shut the door; there comes no swaggerers here: I have
not lived all this while, to have swaggering now: shut the
door, I pray you.
Fal.
Dost thou hear, hostess?
Host.
Pray ye note, pacify yourself, Sir John: there comes
no swaggerers here.
Fal.
Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient.
Host.
Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er note tell me: your note ancient
swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before Master
Tisick, the debuty note, t'other note day; and, as he said to me, 'twas note
no longer ago than Wednesday note last, ‘I’ good faith note, neighbour
Quickly,’ says he; Master Dumbe note, our minister, was
by then; ‘neighbour Quickly,’ says he, ‘receive those that
are civil; for,’ said note he, ‘you are in an ill name:’ now a' note said
so, I can tell whereupon; ‘for,’ says he, ‘you are an honest
woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what
guests you receive: receive,’ says he, ‘no swaggering companions.’
There comes note none here: you would bless you to
hear what he said: no, I'll no swaggerers.
Fal.
He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheater note, i'
faith note; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy grey-hound:
he'll note not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her
feathers turn back in any show of resistance. Call him
up, drawer.
[Exit First Drawer.
Host.
Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man
my house, nor no cheater: but I do not love swaggering,
by my troth note; I am the worse, when one says swagger: feel,
masters note, how I shake; look you, I warrant you.
Dol.
So you do, hostess.
-- 403 --
Host.
Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere note an
aspen leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers.
Enter note Pistol, Bardolph, and Page.
note
Pist.
God save note you, Sir John!
Fal.
Welcome, Ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge
you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine
hostess.
Pist.
I will discharge upon her, Sir John, with two
bullets.
Fal.
She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall note hardly offend her.
Host.
Come, I'll drink no proofs nor no bullets: I'll note
drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure,
I.
Pist.
Then to you, Mistress Dorothy; I will charge you.
Dol.
Charge me! I scorn you, scurvy companion. What!
you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away,
you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master.
Pist.
I know you, Mistress Dorothy.
Dol.
Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung,
away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy
chaps, an note you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you
bottle-ale rascal! you basket-hilt stale juggler, you! Since
when, I pray you, sir? God's light note, with two points on
your shoulder? much! note
Pist.
God let me not live, but note I will murder your ruff
for this.
Fal.
No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off
here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol note.
Host.
No, good Captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain.
Dol.
Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art
-- 404 --
thou not ashamed to be called captain? An note captains were
of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking note
their names upon you before you have earned them. You
a captain! you slave, for what? for tearing a poor whore's
ruff in a bawdy-house? He a captain! hang him, rogue!
he lives upon mouldy stewed prunes and dried cakes. A
captain! God's light note, these villains will make the word as
odious as the word ‘occupy;’ which was an excellent good
word before it was ill sorted note: therefore captains had need
look to't note.
Bard.
Pray thee, go down, good ancient.
Fal.
Hark thee hither, Mistress Doll.
Pist.
Not I: I tell thee what, Corporal Bardolph, I
could tear her: I'll be revenged of note her.
Page.
Pray thee, go down.
Pist.
I'll see her damned first; to Pluto's damned
lake, by this hand note, to the infernal deep, with note Erebus and
tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down,
notedown, dogs! down, faitors note! Have we not Hiren here? note
Host.
Good Captain Peesel, be quiet; 'tis note very late,
i' faith note: I beseek note you now, aggravate your choler.
Pist.
These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-horses,
And hollow pamper'd note jades of Asia,
Which cannot go but thirty mile note a-day,
Compare with Cæsars note, and with Cannibals note,
And Trojan note Greeks? nay, rather damn them with
-- 405 --
King Cerberus; and let the welkin roar.
Shall we fall foul for toys? note
Host.
By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words.
Bard.
Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a brawl
anon.
Pist.
Die note men like dogs! give crowns note like pins! Have
we not Hiren here?
Host.
O' note my word, captain, there's none such here.
What the good-year note! do you think I would deny her? For
God's sake note, be quiet.
Pist.
Then feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis. Come,
give's note some sack.
‘Si fortune me tormente, sperato me contento.’ note
Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire:
Give me some sack: and, sweetheart, lie note thou there.
[Laying down his sword. note
Come we to full points here; note and are etceteras nothing note? note
Fal.
Pistol, I would be quiet.
Pist.
Sweet knight, I kiss note thy neif note: what! we have
seen the seven stars.
Dol.
For God's sake note, thrust him down stairs: I cannot
endure such a fustian rascal.
Pist.
Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway
nags?
Fal.
Quoit note him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat
shilling: nay, an a' note do nothing but speak nothing, a' shall note
be nothing here.
-- 406 --
Bard.
Come, get you down stairs.
Pist.
What! shall we have incision? shall we imbrue?
[Snatching note up his sword.
Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days!
Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds
Untwine note the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos note, I say! note
Host.
Here's goodly note stuff toward!
Fal.
Give me my rapier, boy.
Dol.
I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee note, do not draw.
Fal.
Get you down stairs.
[Drawing, and driving Pistol out. note
Host.
Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping
house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder,
I warrant now. Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put
up your naked weapons.
[Exeunt note Pistol and Bardolph.
Dol.
I pray thee note, Jack, be quiet; the rascal 's gone.
Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you!
Host.
Are you not hurt i' the groin? methought a' note
made a shrewd thrust at your belly.
Re-enter Bardolph. note
Fal.
Have you turned him out o' note doors?
Bard.
Yea note, sir. The rascal's drunk: you have hurt
him, sir, i' the note shoulder.
Fal.
A rascal! to brave me!
Dol.
Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape,
how thou sweatest! come, let me wipe thy face; come on,
you whoreson chops: ah, rogue note! i' faith note, I love thee:
-- 407 --
thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon,
and ten times better than the Nine Worthies: ah,
villain! note
Fal.
A note rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
Dol.
Do, an thou darest for thy heart: an note thou dost, I'll
canvass thee between a pair of sheets note.
Enter Music.
Page.
The music is come, sir.
Fal.
Let them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee,
Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me
like quicksilver.
Dol.
I' faith note, and thou followedst him like a church.
Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew note boar-pig, when
wilt thou leave fighting o' days and foining o' note nights, and
begin to patch up thine old body for heaven?
Enter, behind note, Prince Henry and Poins, disguised.
note
Fal.
Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's-head;
do not bid me remember mine end.
Dol.
Sirrah, what humour's note the prince of?
Fal.
A good shallow young fellow: a' would have
made a good pantler, a' note would ha' note chipped bread well.
Dol.
They say Poins has note a good wit.
Fal.
He a good wit? hang him, baboon! his wit's note as
-- 408 --
thick as Tewksbury mustard; there's note no more conceit in
him than is in a mallet.
Dol.
Why does note the prince love him so, then?
Fal.
Because their legs are both of a bigness; and a'
plays at quoits well; and eats conger and fennel; and
drinks off candles' ends for flap-dragons; and rides the
wild-mare with the boys; and jumps upon joined-stools;
and swears with a good grace; and wears his boots note very
smooth, like unto the sign of the leg; and breeds no bate
with telling of discreet note stories; and such other gambol
faculties a' has note, that show a weak mind and an able body,
for the which the prince admits him: for the prince himself
is such another; the weight of a note hair will turn the scales note
between their avoirdupois note.
Prince.
Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears
cut off?
Poins.
Let's note beat him before his whore.
Prince.
Look, whether note the withered elder hath not
his poll clawed like a parrot.
Poins.
Is it not strange that desire should so many
years outlive performance?
Fal.
Kiss me, Doll.
Prince.
Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction!
what says the almanac to that?
note
Poins.
And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man,
be not lisping to note his master's note old tables note, his note-book,
his counsel-keeper.
Fal.
Thou dost give me flattering busses.
Dol.
By my troth note, I kiss thee with a most constant heart.
Fal.
I am old, I am old.
-- 409 --
Dol.
I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young
boy of them all.
Fal.
What stuff wilt note have a kirtle of? I shall receive
money o' note Thursday: shalt note have a cap to-morrow. A
merry song, come: note it grows late; we'll note to note bed. Thou'lt note
forget me when I am gone.
Dol.
By my troth note, thou'lt note set me a-weeping, an thou
sayest so: prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy
return: well, hearken at the end note.
Fal.
Some sack, Francis.
Prince. Poins.
Anon, anon, sir.
[Coming forward. note
Fal.
Ha! a bastard son of the king's? And art not
thou Poins his note brother?
Prince.
Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what
a life dost thou lead!
Fal.
A better than thou: I am a gentleman; thou
art a drawer.
Prince.
Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out
by the ears.
Host.
O, the Lord preserve thy good note grace! by my
troth note, welcome to London. Now, the Lord note bless that
sweet face of thine! O Jesu note, are you come from Wales?
Fal.
Thou whoreson mad note compound of majesty, by
notethis light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.
Dol.
How, you fat fool! I scorn you.
Poins.
My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge
and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat.
-- 410 --
Prince.
You whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely
did you speak of me even note now before this honest, virtuous,
civil gentlewoman!
Host.
God's blessing of note your good heart! and so she
is, by my troth note.
Fal.
Didst thou hear me?
Prince.
Yea note, and you knew me, as you did when you
ran away by Gad's-hill: you knew I was at your back, and
spoke it on purpose to try my patience.
Fal.
No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast
within hearing.
Prince.
I shall drive you then to confess the wilful
abuse; and then I know how to handle you.
Fal.
No abuse, Hal, o' mine note honour; no abuse.
Prince.
Not to dispraise note me, and call me pantler and
bread-chipper note and I know not what?
Fal.
No abuse, Hal.
Poins.
No abuse?
Fal.
No abuse, Ned, i' the world; honest Ned, none.
I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might
not fall in love with him note; in which doing, I have done the
part of a careful friend and a true note subject, and thy father is
to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal: none, Ned, none:
no, faith note, boys, none.
Prince.
See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice
doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close note
with us? is she of the wicked? is thine hostess here of the
wicked? or is thy boy note of the wicked? or honest Bardolph,
whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked?
Poins.
Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
Fal.
The fiend hath pricked down Bardolph irrecoverable;
-- 411 --
and his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where he doth
nothing but roast malt-worms. For the boy, there is a
good angel about him; but the devil outbids note him too.
Prince.
For the women?
Fal.
For one of them, she is in hell note already, and burns
poor souls note. For the other, I owe her money; and whether
she be damned for that, I know not.
Host.
No, I warrant you.
Fal.
No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit
for that. Marry, there is another indictment upon thee, for
suffering flesh to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the
law; for the which I think thou wilt howl.
Host.
All victuallers note do so: what's a joint of mutton
or two in a whole Lent?
Prince.
You, gentlewoman,—
Dol.
What says your grace?
Fal.
His grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
[Knocking within. note
Host.
Who knocks so loud at door? Look to the
door there, Francis.
Enter Peto. note
note
Prince.
Peto, how now! what news?
Peto.
The king your father is at Westminster;
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north: and, as I came along,
I met and overtook a dozen captains,
Bare-headed, sweating, knocking at the taverns,
And asking every one for Sir John Falstaff.
Prince.
By heaven, Poins, I feel me much to blame note,
So idly to profane the precious time;
When tempest of commotion, like the south note
-- 412 --
Borne with black vapour, doth begin to melt,
And drop upon our bare unarmed heads.
Give me my sword and cloak. Falstaff, good night note.
[Exeunt note Prince Henry, Poins, Peto, and Bardolph.
Fal.
Now comes in the sweetest morsel of the night, and
we must hence, and leave it unpicked.
[Knocking within. note]
More knocking at the door!
Re-enter Bardolph. note
How now! what's the matter?
note
Bard.
You must away to court, sir, presently;
A dozen captains stay at door for you.
Fal. [To the Page note]
Pay the musicians, sirrah. Farewell,
hostess; farewell, Doll. You see, my good wenches, how
men of merit are sought after: the undeserver may sleep,
when the man of action is called on. Farewell, good wenches:
if I be not sent away post, I will see you again ere I go.
Dol.
I cannot speak; if my heart be not ready to burst,
—well, sweet Jack, have a care of thyself.
Fal.
Farewell, farewell.
[Exeunt note Falstaff and Bardolph.
Host.
Well, fare thee well: I have known thee these
twenty nine years, come peascod-time; but an honester and
truer-hearted man,—well, fare thee well.
Bard. [Within note]
Mistress Tearsheet!
Host.
What's the matter?
Bard. [Within note]
Bid Mistress Tearsheet come to my
master.
Host.
O, run, Doll, run; run, good Doll: come. [She
comes blubbered.] Yea, will you come, Doll? note
[Exeunt.
-- 413 --
William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
