Borachio.
Dog. note
Is our whole dissembly appeared?
Verg. note
O, a stool and a cushion note for the sexton.
Sex.
Which be the malefactors?
Dog. note
Marry, that am I and my partner.
Verg.
Nay, that's certain; we have the exhibition to
examine.
Sex.
But which are the offenders that are to be examined?
let them come before master constable.
Dog.
Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is
your name, friend?
Bora.
Borachio.
Dog.
Pray, write down, Borachio. Yours, sirrah?
Con.
I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.
Dog.
Write down, master gentleman Conrade. Masters,
do you serve God?
-- 67 --
Con. Bora.
Yea, sir, we hope.
Dog.
Write down, that they hope they serve God:
and write God first; for God defend but God should go before
such villains note! Masters, it is proved already that you
are little better than false knaves; and it will go note near to be
thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?
Con.
Marry, sir, we say we are none.
Dog.
A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but
I will go about with him. Come you hither, sirrah; a word
in your ear: sir, note I say to you, it is thought you are false
knaves.
Bora.
Sir, I say to you we are none.
Dog.
Well, stand aside. 'Fore God, they are both in
a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none?
Sex.
Master constable note, you go not the way to examine:
you must call forth note the watch that are their accusers.
Dog.
Yea, marry, that's the eftest note way. Let the
watch come forth. Masters, I charge you, in the prince's
name, accuse these men.
First Watch.
This man said, sir, that Don John, the
prince's brother, was a villain.
Dog.
Write down, Prince John a villain. Why, this is
flat perjury, to call a prince's brother villain.
Bora.
Master constable note,—
Dog.
Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look,
I promise thee.
Sex.
What heard you him say else?
Sec. Watch.
Marry, that he had received a thousand
ducats of Don John for accusing note the Lady Hero wrongfully.
Dog.
Flat burglary as ever was committed.
Verg.
Yea, by mass note, that it is.
-- 68 --
Sex.
What else, fellow?
First Watch.
And that Count Claudio did mean, upon
his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and
not marry her.
Dog.
O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting
redemption for this.
Sex.
What else?
Watch.
This is all.
Sex.
And this is more, masters, than you can deny.
Prince John is this morning secretly stolen away; Hero was
in this manner accused, in this very manner refused, and
upon the grief of this suddenly died. Master Constable, let
these men be bound, and brought to Leonato's note: I will go
before and show him their examination.
[Exit.
Dog.
Come, let them be opinioned.
Verg.
Let them be in the hands—
Con.
Off, coxcomb! note
Dog.
God's my life, where's the sexton? let him write
down, the prince's officer, coxcomb. Come, bind them.
Thou note naughty varlet!
Con. note
Away! you are an ass, you are an ass.
Dog.
Dost thou not suspect my place? dost thou not
suspect my years? O that he were here to write me down
an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though
it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass.
No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved
upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which
is more, an officer; and, which is more, a householder; and,
which is note more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina;
-- 69 --
and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough,
go to; and a fellow that hath had losses note; and one that hath
two gowns, and every thing handsome about him. Bring
him away. O that I had been writ down an ass!
[Exeunt. note
William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].