Verges note with the Watch.
Dog.
Are you good men and true?
Verg.
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer
salvation, body and soul.
Dog.
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them,
if they should have any allegiance in them, being chosen
for the prince's watch.
Verg.
Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.
Dog.
First, who think you the most desartless note man to
be constable?
First Watch.
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George note Seacole;
for they can write and read.
Dog.
Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath blessed
you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is the
gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.
Sec. Watch.
Both which, master constable,—
Dog.
You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well,
for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make no
boast of it; and for your writing and reading, let that appear
when there is no note need of such vanity. You are thought
here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable
of the watch; therefore bear you the lantern note. This is your
charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are to
bid any man stand, in the prince's name.
Sec. Watch.
How if a' note will not stand?
Dog.
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go;
and presently call the rest of the watch together, and thank
God you are rid of a knave.
-- 46 --
Verg.
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is
none of the prince's subjects.
Dog.
True, and they are to meddle with none but the
prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in the
streets; for for the watch to babble and to talk note is most
tolerable and not to be endured.
Watch. note
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what
belongs to a watch.
Dog.
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet
watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should offend:
only, have a care that your bills be not stolen. Well, you
are to call at all the ale-houses, and bid those note that are
drunk get them to bed.
Watch. note
How if they will not?
Dog.
Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if
they make you not then the better answer, you may say
they are not the men you took them for.
Watch.
Well, sir.
Dog.
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by
virtue of your office, to be no true man; and, for such kind
of men, the less you meddle or make with them, why, the
more is for your honesty.
Watch. note
If we know him to be a thief, shall we not
lay hands on him?
Dog.
Truly, by your office, you may; but I think they
that touch pitch will be defiled: the most peaceable way
for you, if you do take a thief, is to let him show himself
what he is, and steal out of your note company.
Verg.
You have been always called a merciful man,
partner.
Dog.
Truly, I would not hang a dog by my will, much
more a man who hath any honesty in him.
Verg.
If you hear a child cry in the night, you must
call to the nurse and bid her still it.
Watch. note
How if the nurse be asleep and will not hear
us?
-- 47 --
Dog.
Why, then, depart in peace, and let the child wake
her with crying; for the ewe that will not hear her lamb
when it baes will never answer a calf when he bleats note.
Verg.
'Tis very true.
Dog.
This is the end of the charge:—you, constable,
are to present the prince's own person: if you meet the
prince in the night, you may stay him.
Verg.
Nay, by'r lady, that I think a' note cannot.
Dog.
Five shillings to one on't, with any man that
knows the statues note, he may stay him: marry, not without the
prince be willing; for, indeed, the watch ought to offend no
man; and it is an offence to stay a man against his will.
Verg.
By'r lady, I think it be so.
Dog.
Ha, ah, ha! Well, masters, good night: an there
be any matter of weight chances, call up me: keep your
fellows' note counsels note and your own; and good night. Come,
neighbour.
Watch. note
Well, masters, we hear our charge: let us go
sit here upon the church-bench till two, and then all to
bed.
Dog.
One word more, honest neighbours. I pray you,
watch about Signior Leonato's door; for the wedding being
there to-morrow, there is a great coil to-night. Adieu: be
vigitant note, I beseech you.
[Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.
noteEnter Borachio and Conrade.
Bora.
What, Conrade!
Watch. [Aside note]
Peace! stir not.
Bora.
Conrade, I say!
Con.
Here, man; I am at thy elbow.
Bora.
Mass, and my elbow itched; I thought there
would a scab follow.
-- 48 --
Con.
I will owe thee an answer for that: and now forward
with note thy tale.
Bora.
Stand thee close, then, under this pent-house,
for it drizzles rain; and I will, like a true drunkard, utter
all to thee.
Watch. [Aside]
Some treason, masters: yet stand close.
Bora.
Therefore know I have earned of Don note John a
thousand ducats.
Con.
Is it possible that any villany should be so dear?
Bora.
Thou shouldst rather ask, if it were possible any
villany note should be so rich note; for when rich villains have need
of poor ones, poor ones may make what price they will.
Con.
I wonder at it.
Bora.
That shows thou art unconfirmed. Thou knowest
that the fashion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloak, is
nothing to a man.
Con.
Yes, it is apparel.
Bora.
I mean, the fashion.
Con.
Yes, the fashion is the fashion.
Bora.
Tush! I may as well say the fool's the fool.
But seest thou not what a deformed thief this fashion is?
Watch. [Aside]
I know that Deformed; a' has been a
vile thief this seven year note; a' note goes up and down like a gentleman:
I remember his name.
Bora.
Didst thou not hear somebody?
Con.
No; 'twas the vane note on the house.
Bora.
Seest thou not, I say, what a deformed thief this
fashion is? how giddily a' turns about all the hot bloods
between fourteen and five-and-thirty? sometimes note fashioning
them like Pharaoh's soldiers in the reeky note painting, sometime note
-- 49 --
like god note Bel's priests in the old church-window, sometime note
like the shaven Hercules in the smirched worm-eaten
tapestry, where his codpiece seems as massy as his club?
Con.
All this I see; and I see note that the fashion wears
out more apparel than the man. But art not thou thyself
giddy with the fashion too note, that thou hast shifted out of
thy tale into telling me of the fashion?
Bora.
Not so, neither: but know that I have to-night
wooed Margaret, the Lady Hero's gentlewoman, by the
name of Hero: she leans me out at her mistress' chamber-window,
bids me a thousand times good night,—I tell this
tale vilely:—I should first tell thee how the prince, Claudio
and my master, planted and placed and possessed by my
master Don John, saw afar note off in the orchard this amiable
encounter.
Con.
And thought they note Margaret was Hero?
Bora.
Two of them did, the prince and Claudio; but
the devil my master knew she was Margaret; and partly
by his oaths, which first possessed them, partly by the dark
night, which did deceive them, but chiefly by my villany,
which did confirm any slander that Don John had made,
away went Claudio enraged; swore he would meet her, as
he was appointed, next morning at the temple, and there,
before the whole congregation, shame her with what he saw note
o'er night, and send her home again without a husband.
note
First Watch.
We charge you, in the prince's name,
stand!
Sec. Watch.
Call up the right master constable. We
have here recovered the most dangerous piece of lechery
that ever was known in the note commonwealth.
First Watch.
And one Deformed is one of them: I
know him; a' wears a lock.
Con.
Masters, masters,—
-- 50 --
Sec. Watch.
You'll be made bring Deformed forth, I
warrant you.
Con.
Masters,—
First Watch.
Never speak: we charge you let us obey
you to go with us. note
Bora.
We are like to prove a goodly commodity, being
taken up of these men's bills.
Con.
A commodity in question, I warrant you. Come,
we'll obey you.
[Exeunt.
note
William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
