Sec. Mer.
You know since Pentecost the sum is due,
And since I have not much importuned you;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Persia, and want guilders for my voyage:
Therefore make present satisfaction,
Or I'll attach you by this officer.

Ang.
Even just the sum that I do owe to you
Is growing ^note to me by Antipholus;
And in the instant that I met with you
He had of me a chain: at five o'clock
I shall receive the money for the same.
Pleaseth you ^note walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too. Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and Dromio of Ephesus from the courtezan's.

Off.
That labour may you ^note save: see where he comes.

Ant. E.
While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou
And buy a rope's end: that will I bestow
Among my wife and her ^note confederates,
For locking me out of my doors by day.—
But, soft! I see the goldsmith. Get thee gone;
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.

Dro. E.
I buy a thousand pound a year: I buy a rope. [Exit.

Ant. E.
A man is well hold up that trusts to you:
I promised your presence and the chain;

But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me.
Belike you thought our love would last too long,
If it were chain'd together, and ^note therefore came not.

Ang.
Saving your merry humour, here's the note
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carat ^note,
The fineness of the gold, and chargeful ^note fashion,
Which doth amount to three odd ducats more
Than I stand debted to this gentleman:
I pray you, see him presently discharged,
For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it.

Ant. E.
I am not furnish'd with the present money;
Besides, I have some business in the town.
Good signior, take the stranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof:
Perchance I will be there as soon as you.

Ang.
Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?

Ant. E.
No; bear it with you, lest I come not time enough ^note.

Ang.
Well, sir, I will. Have you the chain about you?

Ant. E.
An if I have not, sir, I hope you have;
Or else you may return without your money.

Ang.
Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain:
Both wind and tide stays ^note for this ^note gentleman,
And I, to blame ^note, have held him here too long.

Ant. E.
Good Lord! you use this dalliance to excuse
Your breach of promise to the Porpentine.
I should have chid you for not bringing it,
But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl.

Sec. Mer.
The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, dispatch.

Ang.
You hear how he importunes me;—the chain! ^note

Ant. E.
Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your money.

Ang.
Come, come, you know I gave it you even now.

Either ^note send the chain, or send me by ^note some token.

Ant. E.
Fie, now you run this humour out of breath.
Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it.

Sec. Mer.
My business cannot brook this dalliance.
Good sir, say whether ^note you'll answer me or no:
If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

Ant. E.
I answer you! what ^note should I answer you?

Ang.
The money that you owe me for the chain.

Ant. E.
I owe you none till I receive the chain.

Ang.
You know I gave it you half an hour since.

Ant. E.
You gave me none: you wrong me much to say so.

Ang.
You wrong me more ^note, sir, in denying it:
Consider how it stands upon my credit.

Sec. Mer.
Well, officer, arrest him at my suit. ^note

Off.
I do; and charge you in the duke's name to obey me.

Ang.
This touches me in reputation.
Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Or I attach you by this ^note officer.

Ant. E.
Consent to pay thee ^note that I never had!
Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou darest.

Ang.
Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer.
I would not spare my brother in this case,
If he should scorn me so apparently.

Off.
I do arrest you, sir: you hear the suit.

Ant. E.
I do obey thee till I give thee bail.
But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear
As all the metal in your shop will answer.

Ang.
Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus,
To your notorious shame; I doubt it not. ^noteEnter Dromio of Syracuse, from the bay.

Dro. S.
Master, there is ^note a bark of Epidamnum

That stays but till her owner comes aboard,
And then, sir, ^note she ^note bears away. Our fraughtage, sir,
I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought ^note
The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vitæ.
The ship is in her trim; the merry wind
Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all
But for their owner, master, and yourself.

Ant. E.
How now! a madman! Why, thou peevish sheep,
What ship of Epidamnum stays for me?

Dro. S.
A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage.

Ant. E.
Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope,
And told thee to what purpose and what end.

Dro. S.
You sent me ^note for a rope's end as soon:
You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.

Ant. E.
I will debate this matter at more leisure,
And teach your ears to list me with more heed.
To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight:
Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry
There is a purse of ducats; let her send it:
Tell her I am arrested in the street,
And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave, be gone!
On, officer, to prison till it come. [Exeunt Sec. Merchant, Angelo, Officer, and Ant. E.

Dro. S.
To Adriana! that is where we dined,
Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:
She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
Thither I must, although against my will,
For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. [Exit.

^note Scene II. [Footnote: The house of Antipholus of Ephesus. Enter Adriana and Luciana.

Adr.
Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so?
  Mightst thou perceive austerely ^note in his eye
That he did plead in earnest? yea or no?
  Look'd he or red or pale, or sad or ^note merrily ^note?
What observation madest thou, in this case, ^note
Of ^note his heart's meteors tilting in his face?

Luc.
First he denied you ^note had in him no ^note right.

Adr.
He meant he did me none; the more my spite.

Luc.
Then swore he that he was a stranger here.

Adr.
And true he swore, though yet forsworn he were.

Luc.
Then pleaded I for you.

Adr.
And what said he?

Luc.
That love I begg'd for you he begg'd of me.

Adr.
With what persuasion did he tempt thy love?

Luc.
With words that in an honest suit might move.
First he did praise my beauty, then my speech.

Adr.
Didst speak him fair?

Luc.
Have patience, I beseech.

Adr.
I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still;
My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his ^note will.
He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind ^note.

Luc.
Who would be jealous, then, of such a one?
No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone.

Adr.
Ah, but I think him better than I say,
  And yet would herein ^note others' eyes were worse.

Far from her nest the lapwing cries away:
  My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. ^noteEnter Dromio of Syracuse.

Dro. S.
Here! go; the desk, the purse! sweet ^note, now, make haste.

Luc.
How hast thou lost thy breath?

Dro. S.
By running fast.

Adr.
Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?

Dro. S.
No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell.
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him ^note; ^note
One ^note whose hard heart is button'd up with steel;
A fiend, a fury ^note, pitiless and rough;
A wolf, nay, worse; a fellow all in buff;
A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that countermands ^note
The passages of ^note alleys ^note, creeks, and narrow lands ^{note note};
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot well;
One that, before the Judgment, carries poor souls to hell.

Adr.
Why, man, what is the matter?

Dro. S.
I do not know the matter: he is 'rested ^note on the case.

Adr.
What, is he arrested? Tell ^note me at whose suit.

Dro. S.
I know not at whose suit he is arrested well; ^note
But he's ^note in a suit of buff which 'rested ^note him, that can I ^note tell.
Will you send him, mistress, redemption ^note, the money in his desk?

Adr.
Go fetch it, sister. [Exit Luciana.] This I wonder at,
That ^note he, unknown to me, should be in debt.
Tell me, was he arrested on a band ^note?

Dro. S.
Not on a band ^note, but on ^note a stronger thing;
A chain, a chain! Do you not hear it ring?

Adr.
What, the chain?

Dro. S.
No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were gone:
It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one.

Adr.
The hours come back! that did I never hear ^note.

Dro. S.
O, yes; if any hour meet a sergeant, 'a turns ^note back for very fear.

Adr.
As if Time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason!

Dro. S.
Time is a very bankrupt ^note, and owes more than he's worth to season ^note.
Nay, he's a thief too: have you not heard men say,
That Time comes stealing on by night and day?
If Time ^note be in debt and theft, and a sergeant in the way,
Hath he not reason to turn back an hour ^note in a day? ^note Re-enter Luciana with a purse.

Adr.
Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it straight;
  And bring thy master home immediately.
Come, sister: I am press'd down with conceit,—
  Conceit, my comfort and my injury. [Exeunt.

^note Scene III. [Footnote: A public place. Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.

Ant. S.
There's not a man I meet but doth salute me
As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
And every one doth call me by my name.
Some tender money to me; some invite me;
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
Some offer me commodities to buy;—
Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop,
And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
And therewithal took measure of my body.
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here. Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

Dro. S.
Master, here's the gold you sent me for.—
What, have ^note you got ^note the picture of old Adam new-apparelled?

Ant. S.
What gold is this? what Adam dost thou mean?

Dro. S.

Not that Adam that kept the Paradise, but that Adam that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's skin ^note that was killed for the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.

Ant. S.

I understand thee not.

Dro. S.

No? why, 'tis a plain case: he that went, like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a sob ^note, and 'rests ^note them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a morris ^note-pike.

Ant. S.

What, thou meanest an officer?

Dro. S.

Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he that brings any man to answer it that breaks his band ^note; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, ^note ‘God give you good rest!’

Ant. S.

Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship ^note puts forth to-night? may we be gone?

Dro. S.

Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put ^note forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels that you sent for to deliver you.

Ant. S.
The fellow is distract, and so am I;
And here we wander in illusions:
Some blessed power deliver us from hence! ^noteEnter a Courtezan.

Cour.
Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now:
Is that the chain you promised me to-day?

Ant. S.
Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me not.

Dro. S.
Master, is this Mistress Satan?

Ant. S.

It is the devil.

Dro. S.

Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench: and thereof comes that the wenches say, ‘God damn me;’ that's as much ^note to say, ‘God make me a light wench.’ ^note It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.

Cour.
Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir.
Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here? ^note

Dro. S.

Master, if you do, expect ^note spoon-meat; or ^note bespeak a long spoon.

Ant. S.

Why, Dromio?

Dro. S.

Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the devil.

Ant. S.
Avoid then ^note, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping?
Thou art, as you are all ^note, a sorceress:
I conjure thee to leave me and be gone. ^note

Cour.
Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promised,
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.

Dro. S.
Some devils ask but the parings of one's nail,
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
A nut, a cherry-stone;
But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
Master, be wise: an if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it. ^note

Cour.
I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain:
I hope you do not mean to cheat me so.

Ant. S.
Avaunt, thou witch!—Come, Dromio, let us go. ^note

Dro. S.
‘Fly pride,’ says the peacock: mistress, that you know. [Exeunt Ant. S. and Dro. S. ^note

Cour.
Now, out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
Else would he never so demean himself.
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
And for the same he promised me a chain:
Both one and other he denies me now.
The reason that I gather he is mad,—
Besides this present instance of his rage,—
Is a mad tale he told to-day at dinner,
Of his own doors ^note being shut against his entrance.
Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
On purpose shut the doors against his way.
My way is now to hie home to his house,
And tell his wife that, being lunatic,

He rush'd into my house, and took perforce
My ring away. This course I fittest choose;
For forty ducats is too much to lose. [Exit. ^note Scene IV. [Footnote: A street. Enter Antipholus of Ephesus and the Officer. ^note

Ant. E.
Fear me not, man; I will not break away:
I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money,
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for.
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day,
And will not lightly trust the messenger.
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus, ^note
I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears. Enter Dromio of Ephesus with a rope's-end.
Here comes my man; I think he brings the money.
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for?

Dro. E.
Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them all.

Ant. E.
But where's the money?

Dro. E.
Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope.

Ant. E.
Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope?

Dro. E. ^note
I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate.

Ant. E.
To what end did I bid thee hie ^note thee home?

Dro. E.

To a rope's-end, sir; and to that end am I returned ^note.

Ant. E.

And to that end, sir, I will welcome you.

Off.

Good sir, be patient.

Dro. E.

Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity.

Off.

Good, now, hold thy tongue.

Dro. E.

Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands.

Ant. E.

Thou whoreson, senseless villain!

Dro. E.

I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows.

Ant. E.

Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass.

Dro. E.

I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears ^note. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it when I sleep; raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.

Ant. E.

Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.