Evans.

'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman ^note as ever I did look upon.

Page.

And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs Page.

Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford.
Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;
I rather will suspect the sun with cold ^note
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand,
In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith ^note.

Page.
'Tis well, 'tis well; no more: ^note
Be not as extreme ^note in submission
As in offence.
But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it.

Ford.
There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page.
How? to send him word they'll meet him in the
Park at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come.

Evans.

You say ^note he has been thrown in the rivers ^note, and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks there should be terrors ^note in him that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page.

So think I too.

Mrs Ford.
Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,
And let us two devise to bring him thither.

Mrs Page.
There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,
Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,
Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight ^note,
Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd ^note horns;
And there he blasts the tree ^note, and takes the cattle,
And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain
In a most hideous and dreadful manner:
You have heard of such a spirit; and well you know
The superstitious idle-headed eld
Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,
This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

Page.
Why, yet there want not many that do fear
In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:
But what of this?

Mrs Ford.
Marry, this is our device; ^note
That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us.

Page.
Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come:
And in this shape when you have brought him thither,
What shall be done with him? what is your plot?

Mrs Page.
That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:
Nan Page my daughter and my little son
And three or four more of their growth we'll dress
Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white,
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once
With some diffused song: upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to-pinch ^{note note} the unclean knight;

And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread
In shape profane.

Mrs Ford.
And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound ^note,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs Page.
The truth being known,
We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,
And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford.
The children must
Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't.

Evans.

I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber ^note.

Ford.

That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards.

Mrs Page.
My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,
Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page.
That silk will I go buy. [Aside] And in that time ^note
Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away,
And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight.

Ford.
Nay, I'll to him again in name ^note of Brook:
He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come.

Mrs Page.
Fear not you that. Go get us properties
And tricking for our fairies.

Evans.

Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery honest knaveries.

Mrs Page.
Go, Mistress Ford,
Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs Ford.
I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;

And he ^note my husband best of all affects.
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,
Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her. [Exit. ^note

Previous section

Next section