Launce severally.
Speed.
Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Padua note!
Launce.
Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not
welcome. I reckon this always—that a man is never undone
till he be note hanged; nor never welcome to a place till
some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say ‘Welcome!’
Speed.
Come on, you madcap, I'll to the alehouse with
you presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy
master part with Madam Julia?
Launce.
Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted
very fairly in jest.
Speed.
But shall she marry him?
Launce.
No.
Speed.
How, then? shall he marry her?
Launce.
No, neither.
Speed.
What, are they broken?
Launce.
No, they are both as whole as a fish.
Speed.
Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
Launce.
Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it
stands well with her.
-- 111 --
Speed.
What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
Launce.
What a block art thou, that thou canst not!
My staff understands me.
Speed.
What thou sayest?
Launce.
Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'll but
lean, and my staff understands me.
Speed.
It stands under thee, indeed.
Launce.
Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one. note
Speed.
But tell me true, will't be a match?
Launce.
Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will; if he say,
no, it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
Speed.
The conclusion is, then, that it will.
Launce.
Thou shalt never get such a secret from me
but by a parable.
Speed.
'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how
sayest thou, that note my master is become a notable lover?
Launce.
I never knew him otherwise.
Speed.
Than how?
Launce.
A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
Speed.
Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.
Launce.
Why fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
Speed.
I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
Launce.
Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn
himself in love. If thou wilt, go note with me to the alehouse note;
if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name
of a Christian.
Speed.
Why?
Launce.
Because thou hast not so much charity in thee
as to go to the ale note with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
Speed.
At thy service.
[Exeunt.
-- 112 --
note
William Aldis Wright [1863–1866], The works of William Shakespeare edited by William George Clark... and John Glover [and William Aldis Wright] (Macmillan and Co., London) [word count] [S10701].
