Cal.
All the infections that the sun sucks up
From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall, and make him
By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me,
And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor ^note pinch,
Fright me with urchin-shows, pitch me i' the mire,
Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark

Out of my way, unless he bid 'em: but
For every trifle are they set upon me;
Sometime like apes, that mow and chatter at me,
And after bite me; then like hedgehogs, which
Lie tumbling in my barefoot way, and mount
Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I
All wound with adders, who with cloven tongues
Do hiss me into madness. Enter Trinculo.
Lo, now, lo!
Here comes a spirit of his, and ^note to torment me
For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;
Perchance he will not mind me.

Trin.

Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off any weather at all, and another storm brewing; I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul ^note bombard that would shed his liquor. If it should thunder as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish: he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-John. A strange fish! Were I in England now, as once I was, and had but this fish painted, not a holiday fool there but would give a piece of silver: there would this monster make a man; any strange beast there makes a man: when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame beggar, they will lay out ten to see a dead Indian. Legged like a man! and his fins like arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish, but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a thunderbolt. [Thunder ^note.] Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to creep under his gaberdine; there is no other shelter hereabout: misery acquaints a man with strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the dregs ^note of the storm be past.

^noteEnter Stephano, singing: a bottle in his hand ^note.

Ste.

I shall no more to sea, to sea,
  Here shall I die a-shore,—

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's funeral: well, here's my comfort.

[Sings.
The master, the swabber, the boatswain, and I,
    The gunner, and his mate,
Loved Mall, Meg, and Marian ^note, and Margery,
  But none of us cared for Kate;
  For she had a tongue with a tang,
  Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!
She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch;
Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch.
  Then, to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.

Cal.

Do not torment me:—O!

Ste.

What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put tricks upon 's with savages ^note and men of Ind, ha? I have not scaped drowning, to be afeard now of your four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground; and it shall be said so again, while Stephano breathes at's nostrils ^note.

Cal.

The spirit torments me:—O!

Ste.

This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil should he learn our language? I will give him some relief, if it be but for that. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, and get to Naples with him, he's a present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's-leather.

Cal.

Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

Ste.

He's in his fit now, and does not talk after the wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have never drunk wine afore, it will go near to remove his fit. If I can recover him, and keep him tame, I will not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that hath him, and that soundly.

Cal.

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.

Ste.

Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that which will give language to you, cat ^note: open your mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you, and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend: open your chaps again.

Trin.

I should know that voice: it should be—but he is drowned; and these are devils:—O defend me!

Ste.

Four legs and two voices,—a most delicate monster! His forward voice, now, is to speak well ^note of his friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will recover him, I will help his ague. Come:—Amen! I will pour some in thy other mouth.

Trin.

Stephano!

Ste.

Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no long spoon.

Trin.

Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me, and speak to me; for I am Trinculo,—be not afeard,—thy good friend Trinculo.

Ste.

If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs, these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can he vent Trinculos?

Trin.

I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope, now, thou art not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitans scaped!

Ste.

Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

Cal. [aside]
These be fine things, an if they be not sprites.
That's a brave god, and bears celestial liquor:
I will kneel to him.

Ste.

How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither? swear, by this bottle, how thou camest hither. I escaped upon a butt of sack, which the sailors heaved o'erboard, by this bottle! which I made of the bark of a tree with mine ^noteown hands, since I was cast ashore.

Cal.

I'll swear, upon that bottle, to be thy true subject; for the liquor is not earthly.

Ste.

Here; swear, then, how thou escapedst ^note.

Trin.

Swum ^note ashore, man, like a duck: I can swim like a duck, I'll be sworn.

Ste.

Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a duck, thou art made like a goose.

Trin.

O Stephano, hast any more of this?

Ste.

The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the sea-side, where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf! how does thine ague?

Cal.

Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?

Ste.

Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i' the moon when time was.

Cal.
I have seen thee in her, and I do adore thee:
My mistress show'd me thee, and thy dog, and thy bush ^note.

Ste.

Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish it anon with new ^note contents: swear.

Trin.

By this good light, this is a very shallow monster! I afeard of him! A very weak ^note monster! The man i' the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well drawn, monster, in good sooth!

Cal.
I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island ^note;
And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.

Trin.

By this light, a most perfidious and drunken monster! when's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

Cal.

I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.

Ste.

Come on, then; down, and swear.

Trin.

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my heart to beat him,—

Ste.

Come, kiss.

Trin.

But that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster!

Cal.
I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;
I'll fish for thee, and get thee wood enough.
A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!
I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,
Thou wondrous man. ^note

Trin.

A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a poor drunkard!

Cal.
I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;
And I with my long nails will dig thee pig-nuts;
Show thee a jay's nest, and instruct thee how
To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee
To clustering filberts, and sometimes I'll get thee
Young scamels ^note from the rock. Wilt thou go with me? ^note

Ste. ^note

I prithee now, lead the way, without any more talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company else being drowned, we will inherit here: ^note here; bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by and by again.

Cal. sings drunkenly.]
Farewell, master; farewell, farewell!

Trin.

A howling monster; a drunken monster!

Cal.
No more dams I'll make for fish;
  Nor fetch in firing
  At requiring;
Nor scrape trencher ^note, nor wash dish:
  'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban
  Has a new master:—get a new man.

Freedom, hey-day! hey-day, freedom! freedom, hey-day ^note, freedom!

Ste.

O brave monster! Lead the way.

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