Beau.
Well, my brave Friend, what think you of your Wager?
Shattillion must by this be coming back.

Ursa.
A Coxcomb as he went. Ha, ha! Wou'd I were
As certain to win the King agen, as I am
Confirm'd—her Honour is secure.

Beau.
Hear you no News to day?

Ursa.
Not I: Have you any?

Beau.
Yes, and of moment: I was just now inform'd,
That Caius Lucius, sent by great Augustus,
Is going with an Embassy to Britain,
Commission'd to demand retarded Tribute,
And I fear,
Your King will sooner gratifie his Message,
That enrage our warlike Romans, whose
Late Conquest lives yet fresh in his memory.

Ursa.
I am not of your mind, but rather do believe,
(States-man though I am none, nor like to be)
That this will prove a War. Enter Shattillion.

Beau.
By all that's good, Shattillion.—See Sir.

Ursa.
The swiftest Racers posted you by Land,
And Winds in all the corners kiss'd your Sails.
To make your Vessel nimble.

Beau.
Welcome Sir.

Ursa.
I hope the briefness of your Answer made
The speediness of your Return.

Shatt.
Your Lady, Sir,
Is faith the fairest that I ever look'd on.

Ursa.
And therewithal the best, or else her
Beauty is but a shadow, or like a painted
Tulip, for nothing good but show.

Shatt.
Here are Letters for ye.

Ursa.
Their tenure good, I trust. [Ursa. reads.

Shatt.
'Tis very likely.—

Beau.
Is Caius Lucius, Ambassador from the
Emperor, expected yet in Britain?

Shatt.
He was talk'd of—but I had other business.
There than to mind News.

Ursa.
All is well yet.
Sparkles that Stone as it was wont Sir, or is it
Too dull for you to wear?

Shatt.
If I had lost it,
I shou'd have lost the worth of it in Gold;
But I'le make a Journey twice as far,
T'Enjoy a night of such sweet shortness,
As was mine in Britain.—Sir, the Ring
Is won.

Ursa.
The Stone's too hard to come by.

Shatt.
Not at all, your Lady being so easie.

Ursa.
Why sure you will be wiser than to make
Your loss your sport; I hope you know Sir, we
Must not continue Friends.

Shatt.
Faith Sir, we must,
If you keep Covenant, had I not brought
The knowledge of your Mistress home, I grant
We were to question farther; but I now
Profess my self the winner of her Honour,
Together with your Ring, and not the wronger
Of her or you at all, having proceeded
But by Agreement.

Ursa.
If you can make't appear
You have enjoy'd her in her Bed, my Hand and
Ring is yours; if not, my Sword must right the
Wrong done to her Chastity.

Shatt.
Chastity? ha, ha!

Ursa.
Ha, ha! Why is her sacred part become so tainted,
That 'tis but worth your Fleer?

Shatt.
I am sorry to confess it, Sir.

Ursa.
Devils and Hell—Confess it?—Come, be
Brief your Story.

Shatt.
First, her Bed-chamber:
Where I confess I slept not, for she gave me
That which was well worth watching, it was hang'd
With Tapestry of Silk and Silver; the Story
Was the Meeting of th' Egyptian Queen and
Anthony, when Cidnus swell'd above the Banks
For pride, to bear that glorious Heroe
And his Mistress, that gave the World
For Love.

Ursa.
This is nothing;
For I perhaps, or any other ask'd,
Might tell you thus much.

Shatt.
More Particulars
Shall justifie my Knowledge.

Ursa.
So they must,
Or do your Credit injury.

Shatt.
The Chimney—
Is South the Chamber, and the Chimney—
Piece Diana bathing:—Never saw I
Figures so nearly drawn to Nature;
The skilful Painter had even outdone
The Life, so excellent was his dumb Poetry.

Ursa.
And what of this?
Let it be granted what you say is true,
And praise be given to your Remembrance:
Th' Description of what is in her Chamber,
Must not save the Wager you have laid.—

Shatt.
Must it not? Then if you can be pale,
I beg your leave to air this Jewel.—See
And presto,—now 'tis up agen; it must be married
There to your Diamond; I beg your pardon, Sir, that
I play the Jugler with you.

Ursa.
Jove—Is it that I gave her? 'Tis impossible:
Pray once more let me see it.
I swear, the very same.
The Bracelet that I gave her at our parting,
And dam'd her with an Oath to keep for ever;
'Tis that, it must, nay now I know 'tis that.—

Shatt.
Yes, Sir, 'tis that, the very that, I thank her,
She took it from her Arm, methinks I see her yet;
Her pretty action did outsel her gift,
And yet enrich'd it too; she gave it me,
Then smiling, sigh'd and said, she priz'd it once.

Ursa.
May be she pluck'd it off to send it me.

Shatt.
She writes so to ye, does she?

Ursa.
Death and Hell! There's no truth,
Where there is Beauty; the seeming modest face
Lyes even at the Altar and at Prayers;
Honour and Love in that false Sex are nothing;
Profit still breaks their Vows, and Lust their Constancy;
Pride dams their Beauty, Perjury their Souls.

Beau.
Have patience, Sir:
It may be probable she lost it; or
Who knows but one of her Women being corrupted,
May steal it from her.

Ursa.
Very true.
And so I hope he came by't. Render me, Sir,
Some noted Mark, some corporal Sign about her,
More evident than this, for this was stoll'n.

Shatt.
By Jupiter, I had it from her Arm.

Ursa.
Hark you, he swears, by Jupiter he swears,
Binds the salacious Villany by Oath,
And never blushes for't. Oh Hell of Impudence!

Is there a Fury hot as Womankind?
By the Fiends there is not.
Take it, for thou hast won, I swear thou hast,
And the most fulsom way; for well I know
She cou'd not lofe it; her Attendants are
All sworn and honourable, they induc'd to steal it,
And for a Stranger; no, he has enjoy'd her.

Beau.
Good Sir, be calm, you may be yet deceiv'd.

Shatt.
For further satisfying, under her left Breast,
Worthy my pressing, lyes a Mole, right proud
Of that most delicate Lodging; by my Life
I kiss'd it, and it gave me present hunger
To feed agen, though full. You may perhaps, Sir,
Remember this Stain upon her.

Ursa.
I, and it confirms
Another Stain, big as the dismal Cause,
Where Devils freeze and burn. Say on, what more?

Shatt.
Why wou'd you have more?

Ursa.
Now I think on't; no, for shame speak not the rest.

Shatt.
By yonder blessed Sun.

Ursa.
No swearing, Sir.
If you will swear you have not don't, ye lye,
And I will kill thee if thou dar'st deny.

Shatt.
I'le deny nothing.

Ursa.
Had I her here, I'de tear her into atomes;
But live she shannot, nor with whorish grace
Laugh at my Infamy.—Oh cursed Marriage!
Thou Hell to th'Mind, and Body's Purgatory.
Meet we with common Creatures, they are kind,
Love out their hour with eagerness and Art,
And if they give Diseases—'tis their Trade,
We can expect no less. But th' Marriage-state
Gives ye a guilded Pill that poysons ye,
And yet pretends to cure.—The Plague of Life,
And Curse of our Creation—was a Wife. [Exit.

Beau.
He's quite besides
The government of Patience.—You have won:
But come, let's in, and prevent the present rage
He means against himself.

Shatt.
With all my heart: I'le follow ye Sir, ha, ha, ha! [Exit Beau.
I am sensible this Lye will occasion some mischief:
But a Pox on't, I cou'd not for my life but make
The most on't, when my hand was in. Well, what
Wit has begun, Policy must preserve; and Tongue
Be but thou silent, and then let him sift out the
Matter as well as he can. [Exit.

Enter Ursaces with a Letter and Servant.

Ursa.
This Paper signs her death: I know my Friend,
My good old Friend Pisanio, will dispatch her
On sight of this—and then she is with the Furies.
Fly Sirrah with this to the Packet-Boat.

Servant.
I'me gone, my Lord.— [Exit.

Ursa.
But why shou'd Nature make us miserable?
Is there no way for Man to be, but Women
Must be half-Workers? We are all Bastards,
And that most venerable Man which I
Did call my Father, was I know not where
When I was stamp'd:
Yet my Mother seem'd
The Vesta of her time, so did my Wife,
The Jewel of this Age. Oh damn'd Hypocrisie!
Me of my lawful Pleasure she restrain'd,
And pray'd me oft forbearance, did it with
A Pudency so Rosie, that sweet object
Might well have warm'd old Saturn, that I thought her
As chast as un-Sunn'd Snow, as pure as Vertue,
And lost my self in my imagin'd joys.
That's as the hapless Merchant rash and young,
Listens to hear the charming Siren's charming Song;
His Soul is fetter'd, and he fain wou'd get
To the fair tempting Creature's rocky Seat;
And to the Charmers swiftly strives to run,
Leaps on the fatal Shore, and is undone:
So tempting Beauty did my Sense betray,
And faithless Woman stole my Soul away. [Exit.

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