Shatt.

Upon my Honour, Sir, I have observ'd him in Britain; he was then of a declining fame, and not expected to reap the additional Honour Fortune has since bless'd him with: I could have look'd on him then, without the help of admiration, tho' the Catalogue of his Endowments had been tabl'd by his side, and I to peruse him by Items.

Beaup.

You speak of him when he was much less accomplish'd than now he is. Consider, Sir, he was young, he was young.

D. Mich.

I have seen him at Madrid, and am of opinion, we had many there that could behold the Sun with as firm eyes as he.

Shatt.

This business of marrying his King's Daughter, wherein he must be weigh'd by her youth and weakness, rather than his own value, ecchoes him, I doubt not, a great deal above his true worth.

D. Mich.

And then his Banishment.

Shatt.

I, and the approbation of those that weep. This lamentable Divorce to comply with her, seem wonderfully to extend him: But I shall shortly be better inform'd; for I design a speedy Journey to Britain, where perhaps I may spend the best part of this Summer.

D. Mich.

If the Ladies there are to be won at this easie rate, your time, Sir, may not be altogether lost.

Shatt.

Why faith 'tis to be hop'd so; and for my encouragement, the Gentleman has giv'n us a good hint of the free Constitution of his Countrey. But how comes it, Sir, he is to sojourn with you? Pray how creeps Acquaintance.

Beaup.

His Father and I have commanded together, to whom I have been often bound for no less than my Life: Here he comes; and pray let him be so esteem'd among you, as suits with Gentlemen of your knowledge to a Stranger of his Quality—I beseech you.

Be better known to this Gentleman, whom I commend to you as a noble Friend of mine; how worthy he is, I will leave to appear hereafter, rather than story him in his own hearing.

D. Mich.

Sir, If my memory play not the Traitor with me, I think I had the honour of your Company once in Spain.

Ursa.

Since when, Sir, I have been debtor to you for Courtesies, which I will be ever to pay, and yet pay ever.

D. Mich.

Sir, You o're-rate my poor kindness; I was glad I did attone my Countreyman and you; it had been pity you should have been put together,

with so mortal a purpose as then each other bore, about a business of so slight and trivial a nature.

Ursa.

Sir, I was then but a young Traveller, and rather desir'd to be silent in what I heard, than to be guided by others Experiences; but upon my riper judgement, (if I offend not to say it is riper) my Quarrel was not altogether slight.

D. Mich.

Faith, yes to be put to the Arbitrement of Swords, and by two such that would by all likelihood have disabl'd one the other, or have fall'n both.

Shatt.

Can we with manners ask what was the difference?

D. Mich.

Safely I think: 'Twas a Contention in publick about the praise of our Countrey-Mistresses; this Gentleman at that time vouching, and upon warrant of bloud affirmation, his to be more fair, vertuous, wise, chast, constant, qualifi'd, and less contemptible, than any the rarest of our Spanish Ladies.

Shatt.

That Lady is not living now sure, or this Gentleman's Opinion by this worn out.

Ursa.

Sir, She holds her Vertue still, as I my Mind.

Shatt.

You must not so far prefer her before ours of Gallia.

Ursa.

Being so far provok'd as I was at Madrid, I wou'd diminish nothing, tho' I profess my self her Adorer, not her Friend.

Shatt.

Methinks as fair, and as good, a kind of hand in hand Comparison were somewhat too good for any Lady in Britany; for as that Diamond of yours there outshines some I have seen, so perhaps may she; but I have not seen the most precious Diamond that is, nor you the Lady Sir.

Ursa.

I prais'd her as I rated her, so do I my Jewel.

Shatt.

What do you esteem it at?

Ursa.

More than the World enjoys.

Shatt.

Then it must of necessity follow, that your unparalell'd Mistress is outpriz'd by a Trifle.

Ursa.

You are mistaken: 'Tis possible one may be sold or giv'n, if there were Wealth enough for the Purchase, or Merit for the Gift; the other is not a thing for Sale, and only the Gift of Heaven.

Shatt.

Which Heav'n has given you.

Ursa.

Yes, and which, with its leave I will keep.

Shatt.

In secure Opinion, the contented blessing of the Wife. 'Tis true, you may; but you know, Sir, Strange Fowl light upon neighb'ring Ponds; your Ring may be stoll'n too, and so your brace of unprizable Estimations be lost; the one being frail, and the other casual, a cunning Thief, or a (that way) accomplish'd Courtier, would hazard the winning both of first and last.

Ursa.

Your Gallia contains none so accomplish'd a Courtier, to my knowledge: If in point of Constancy you term my Mistress frail; I doubt not but you may have store of Thieves, but yet I fear not my Ring.

Shatt.

Thieves in Love, Sir; we are for the pleasant way of Larceny.

Ursa.

Ay 'tis well you steal Love, your Rhetorick else would hardly promote you higher than the Intrigue of a Shepherd's Daughter.

Beaup.

Come enough of this Gentlemen; pray let's leave here.

Ursa.

Sir, With all my heart: This worthy Monsieur, I thank him, makes no Stranger of me; we are familiar at first sight.

Shatt.

With five times so much Rhetorick I should get ground of your fair Mistress, nay perhaps make her go back even to the yielding, had I admittance and opportunity to befriend me.

Ursa.

No, no.

Shatt.

Come, I'le make a bold Proposition: I will lay the Moiety of my Estate to your Ring, which in my opinion overvalues it something—that I can win your Lady: I make this Wager now rather against your Confidence, than her Reputation; and to bar your offence herein too, I durst attempt it against any Lady in the World.

Ursa.

Come Sir, you abuse your self, and wou'd, I doubt not, sustain what you deserve by such an Attempt.

Shatt.

What's that?

Ursa.

Why a shameful repulse, tho' your attempt deserves more a punishment too.

Shatt.

As how Sir?

Ursa.

To have your Nose slit cross, your sland'rous Tongue pull'd out by the roots, torn, mangl'd, cut to atomes, and blown like common filth into the Air.

Shatt.

And who should do this?

Ursa.

I, were I concern'd: Come, Sir, hold your Tongue, or by Heaven I shall—

Shatt.

What a sleepy Britain?—I'le try that.

Beaup.

Hold Gentlemen, and as you are my Friends forbear; there has been too much said—it came in suddenly, let it die as it was born, I beseech you be reconcil'd.

D. Mich.

The Gentleman was a little too free in language.

Shatt.

Mor dieu, Would I had my Estate and my Friend's, on confirmation of what I speak.

Ursa.

That you would win my Lady?

Shatt.

Yours to choose, who in Constancy, you think, stands so fair— Come Sir, let us lay by this petty Brawl; I will lay you 10000 Duckats to your Ring, that commend me to the Court where your Lady is, and with no more advantage than the opportunity of a second Conference, I will bring from thence that Honour of hers which you imagine so reserv'd.

Ursa.

I will wage Gold against your Gold; my Ring I hold as dear as my Finger, 'tis part of it.

Shatt.

Oh you are a great Courtier Sir, and know that to buy Ladies Flesh at millions a dram is cheap, tho' you cannot keep it from tainting; but I see you have some Religion in you that you fear.

Ursa.

Faith, I fear Religion much more than your Prowess: And now to reclaim your vanity, let there be Covenants drawn between us, and I will accept your Wager. Come now, I dare you to't; there's my Ring.

Shatt.

'Tis done.

Beaup.

I will have it no Lay.

Shatt.

By the Gods 'tis one. If I bring you not sufficient testimony that I have enjoy'd the dearest bodily part of your Mistress, my 10000 Duckats are yours, so is your Diamond too; but if I thrive in my Enterprize, this your Jewel is mine, provided I have a Letter of Recommendation for my better Entertainment.

Ursa.

I embrace the Conditions; only thus far you shall answer: If you attempt her, and give direct proof you have prevail'd, I am no further your Enemy, she is not worth a Quarrel; but if she remain chast, you not making it appear otherwise; then for the ill Opinion, and the Assault you have made to her Chastity, you shall answer me with your Sword.

Shatt.
Your Hand—my Honour on't—I'le fetch my Gold, have our two
Wagers recorded, and then away for Britain.
And if I lose, I must prove dumb or blind;

Ursa.
If win, there is no Hell like Womankind. [Exeunt. The End of the First Act.

Previous section