SCENE I.
Before Quickly's house in Eastcheap.
Enter corporal Nym, and lieutenant Bardolph.
3 note
Bard.
Well met, corporal.
Nym.
Good morrow, 4 notelieutenant Bardolph.
Bard.
What, are ancient Pistol and you friends yet?
Nym.
For my part, I care not: I say little; but
-- 36 --
when time shall serve, 5 note
there shall be smiles;—but
that shall be as it may. I dare not fight; but I will
wink, and hold out mine iron: It is a simple one;
but what though? it will toast cheese; and it will endure
cold as another man's sword will: and there's
6 notethe humour of it.
Bard.
I will bestow a breakfast, to make you
friends; 7 noteand we'll be all three sworn brothers to
France: 9Q0766 let it be so, good corporal Nym.
Nym.
Faith, I will live so long as I may, that's
the certain of it; and, when I cannot live any longer,
I will do as I may: that is my rest, that is the rendezvous
of it.
Bard.
It is certain, corporal, that he is married to
Nell Quickly: and, certainly, she did you wrong; for
you were troth-plight to her.
Nym.
I cannot tell; things must be as they may:
Men may sleep, and they may have their throats about
them at that time; and, some say, knives have edges.
-- 37 --
It must be as it may: though 8 notepatience be a tir'd
mare, yet she will plod. 9Q0767 There must be conclusions.
Well, I cannot tell.
Enter Pistol, and Quickly.
Bard.
Here comes ancient Pistol, and his wife:—
good corporal, be patient here.—How now, mine
host Pistol?
Pist.
Base tyke9 note, call'st thou me—host?
Now, by this hand I swear, I scorn the term;
Nor shall my Nell keep lodgers.
Quick.
No, by my troth, not long: for we cannot
lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen,
that live honestly by the prick of their needles, but it
will be thought we keep a bawdy-house straight.—1 note
O
-- 38 --
well-a-day, lady, if he be not drawn now! 9Q0768 We shall
see wilful adultery and murder committed.
Bard.
2 noteGood lieutenant, good corporal, offer nothing
here.
Nym.
Pish!
Pist.
Pish for thee, 3 note
Iceland dog! thou prick-ear'd
cur of Iceland!
-- 39 --
Quick.
Good corporal Nym, shew the valour of a
man, and put up thy sword.
Nym.
4 note
Will you shog off? I would have you solus.
Pist.
Solus, egregious dog? O viper vile!
The solus in thy most marvellous face;
The solus in thy teeth, and in thy throat,
And in thy hateful lungs, yea, in thy maw, perdy;
And, which is worse, within thy nasty mouth5 note
!
I do retort the solus in thy bowels:
6 noteFor I can talk; and Pistol's cock is up,
And flashing fire will follow.
Nym.
7 noteI am not Barbason; you cannot conjure me.
I have an humour to knock you indifferently well: If
you grow foul with me, Pistol, I will scour you with
my rapier, as I may, in fair terms: If you would
walk off, I would prick your guts a little, in good
terms, as I may; and that's the humour of it.
-- 40 --
Pist.
O braggard vile, and damned furious wight!
The grave doth gape, and 8 notedoting death is near;
Therefore exhale. 9Q0769
Bard.
Hear me, hear me what I say:—he that
strikes the first stroke, I'll run him up to the hilts, as
I am a soldier.
Pist.
An oath of mickle might; and fury shall abate.
Give me thy fist, thy fore-foot to me give;
Thy spirits are most tall.
Nym.
I will cut thy throat, one time or other, in
fair terms; that is the humour of it.
Pist.
Coupe le gorge, that is the word?—I defy thee again.
O hound of Crete, think'st thou my spouse to get?
No; to the spital go,
And from the powdering tub of infamy
Fetch forth the lazar kite of Cressid's kind9 note
,
Doll Tear-sheet she by name, and her espouse:
I have, and I will hold, the quondam Quickly
For the only she; and—Pauca, there's enough: go to1
note
.
Enter the Boy.
Boy.
Mine host Pistol, you must come to my master,
—and you hostess;—he is very sick, and would
to bed.—Good Bardolph, put thy nose between his
-- 41 --
sheets, and do the office of a warming-pan: faith,
he's very ill.
Bard.
Away, you rogue.
Quick.
By my troth, he'll yield the crow a pudding
one of these days: the king has kill'd his heart.
—Good husband, come home presently.
[Exit Quickly.
Bard.
Come, shall I make you two friends? We
must to France together; Why, the devil, should we
keep knives to cut one another's throats?
Pist.
Let floods o'erswell, and fiends for food howl on!
Nym.
You'll pay me the eight shillings I won of
you at betting?
Pist.
2 note
Base is the slave that pays.
Nym.
That now I will have; that's the humour of it.
Pist.
As manhood shall compound; Push home.
[Draw.
Bard.
By this sword, he that makes the first thrust,
I'll kill him; by this sword, I will.
Pist.
Sword is an oath, and oaths must have their course.
Bard.
Corporal Nym, an thou wilt be friends, be
friends: an thou wilt not, why then be enemies with
me too. Pry'thee, put up.
Nym.
I shall have my eight shillings, I won of you
at betting?
Pist.
A noble shalt thou have, and present pay;
And liquor likewise will I give to thee,
And friendship shall combine, and brotherhood:
I'll live by Nym, and Nym shall live by me;—
Is not this just?—for I shall sutler be
-- 42 --
Unto the camp, and profits will accrue.
Give me thy hand.
Nym.
I shall have my noble?
Pist.
In cash most justly paid.
Nym.
Well then, that's the humour of it.
Re-enter Quickly.
Quick.
As ever you came of women, come in
quickly to Sir John: Ah, poor heart! he is so shak'd
of a burning quotidian tertian, that it is most lamentable
to behold. Sweet men, come to him.
Nym.
The king hath run bad humours on the
knight, that's the even of it.
Pist.
Nym, thou hast spoke the right;
His heart is fracted, and corroborate.
Nym.
The king is a good king: but it must be as
it may; he passes some humours, and careers.
Pist.
Let us condole the knight; for, lambkins,
we will live.
[Exeunt.
Samuel Johnson [1778], The plays of William Shakspeare. In ten volumes. With the corrections and illustrations of various commentators; to which are added notes by Samuel Johnson and George Steevens. The second edition, Revised and Augmented (Printed for C. Bathurst [and] W. Strahan [etc.], London) [word count] [S10901].
